Boris Kodjoe On How He & Nicole Ari Parker Keep Their Love Strong After 20 Years
Picture this: It's the year 2000. Rhinestone crop tops and wedge heels are totally in season. Nelly's "Country Grammar" is on the radio and Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe are on the set of Soul Food giving us our entire lives in an intense make-out sesh. Little did Nicole and Boris know, what they once thought was a fleeting moment with a hot coworker would actually turn out to the beginning of their 20-year love story.
Two decades, two children, and countless priceless memories later, the couple is celebrating two decades since they first met and are forever giving us the feels.
Boris recently appeared on an episode of The Real and revealed what's next for the soon-to-be empty nesters, and according to him, it's a whole lot of sex. When the 46-year-old actor was asked about the next chapter in his 15-year marriage, he had this to say:
"Get rid of the kids. It's going to be a party. We're going to party on the way of dropping him off at college. I love my kids but you know, be real. They, they mess you up good when they come."
In the past, Nicole has spilled all the details on the prayer she said to find her Boaz (well, in her case, Boris), but according to her, the key to finding true love is loving yourself, first. In an exclusive interview with xoNecole in 2016, the now-49-year-old actress explained:
"A woman has to have her own source of happiness, you gotta have your own thing. Not necessarily like, 'I got my own thing, I don't need you, I don't want you.' But more like, your own source of happiness, your own thing that makes you happy so that when you come to the dinner table, when you come home, you have something to add to the conversation. You know? 'Like I have something to share with you!' So I'm not depending on him for my happiness."
Thanks to this advice, Boris and Nicole's throwback romance is still in full effect. Along with being your own source of happiness, first, Boris says that keeping the romance alive is a must in his marriage:
"She's already super sexy. I think it's taking each other in [that keeps the relationship alive.] Being present in each other's lives, listen to each other. Do the little things. Send texts throughout the day. Send flowers. Going on date nights."
Above all things, Nicole and Boris stress the importance of not becoming roommates in your relationship, despite how hard that may actually be in real life:
"Our life revolves around our kids. It's our priority. Family life is very important and sometimes we forget that we were here first. And sometimes I have to remind her- 'Look, um, I need some time with you alone. We need to go away.' Even if it is just for an afternoon, that's very important. And people can regret that. Because you don't want to turn into roommates. You don't want to go into 'roommate zone'. That's always dangerous."
Featured image by Instagram/@nicoleariparker.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried The Signature Facial, And It Wasn’t Your Average Facial
My skin has been on the struggle bus lately. Between intense dryness and occasional hormonal breakouts, I don’t know what my skin needs some days. It had been about two months since my last facial when Isabelle McLeod, a licensed esthetician, recommended that I try a signature facial. I have tried several facials that all claimed to be “life-changing.” However, the itinerary for this treatment was more than I ever expected. The facial includes microdermabrasion, dermaplaning, enzyme treatment, extractions, red light therapy, cryotherapy, and a mask. Its mission is to cater to your skin’s needs for the best results moving forward.
I had never seen a facial packed with so many steps and was skeptical about it providing “instant results.” Still, I had booked the appointment in hopes that I would somehow be proven wrong. The beauty world can be full of promises; sometimes, it’s hard to see past glamorized marketing. McLeod welcomed me in her stunning office with open arms. Her energy was graceful and warm. I immediately felt comfortable opening up about my skin struggles as she listened openly. Here are a few of the questions I asked her.
How Often Should You Really Get a Facial?
Affording a facial regularly is a privilege most of us would kill for. I like to look at facials like doctor's or dentist's appointments. Yes, you don’t have to go as often, but you should at least try to shoot for a few times a year. McLeod advocates booking a facial every four to eight weeks, depending on your skin needs. Mcleod says, “If you’re someone who has acne or hyperpigmentation, I typically recommend coming in every four weeks until we can get the skin balanced.”
Regular Facials Don’t Mean Less Care for the Skin.
Even if you get a luxe treatment like the signature facial, we must care for our skin. Having dry skin during the winter months has caused me to be diligent about my skin needs. I expressed this to McLeod as she educated me on the importance of being selective about my skincare products each season. “I am big on using hyaluronic acid; it penetrates the skin well and allows you to achieve the moisture you’re looking for,” says McLeod. She also suggested using the popular skincare product twice a day for those with dryer skin textures. I appreciated this since my skin is mostly dry at night and when I wake up.
Signature Facials Are a Good First Step to Balancing Your Skin.
The signature facial intrigues me because it is dedicated to targeting your skin's needs. I hoped it would combat my dryness and put my hormonal pimple in place. As my consultation with McLeod went further, I wondered if I would need to get the 90-minute facial every time. McLeod's answer was the relief I needed. “We recommend people do the signature facial the first time they come in because it’s consultative, we build a routine for you, and it creates a foundation for healthy skin,” says McLeod. Before I knew it, it was time for me to get cozy and take my first step to having a better relationship with my skin.
CoffeeAndMilk/Getty Images
The Signature Facial Process.
McLeod tackled my skin needs with microdermabrasion first. I felt cozy under a heated blanket as she purged all the build-up in my pores. As the treatment continued, she provided dermaplaning and a cooling enzyme treatment. Both proceeders put me in a deep sense of relaxation. I was nearly about to fall asleep until McLeod informed me it was time for extractions. At the time, I only had one hormonal pimple that needed to be evicted. McLeod proceeded to tackle my breakout and smaller ones I had around my chin and forehead area. The extractions were painful, but knowing she cleared my pores was satisfying.
Once the extractions were finished, my face was on the sensitive side. McLeod soothed my sensitivity by providing a treatment mask and a hot towel now and then. Something about the hot towel put my skin at rest. I relaxed again as she offered a red light treatment to erase unwelcome bumps. At this moment, the battle of the extractions was worth it, and I was excited about the result.
The Results Are Better Than You Think.
I have had my fair share of facials, and not all have been worth the time or the money. The signature facial is worth every penny! When I got up for McLeod’s facial setup, my skin was glowing with intense moisturization. I had some redness from the extraction process. My hormonal pimple had subsided as a result, which was more than enough to satisfy me. As I continued my day, my skin radiated as if I were reborn again. Finally, I found a talented esthetician who could target my hormonal acne and dryness.
My skin did become sensitive, just like McLeod had warned me, as the day turned into night. But hey! What’s beauty without a bit of pain? I made sure to be gentle with my skin by washing it with a calming face cleanser. I also avoided putting any harsh serums (not that it needed any). Opting for a simple hydrating moisturizer was enough to hold my skin for the night. If you want to reboot your skin, I highly recommend the signature facial.
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Featured image by CoffeeAndMilk/Getty Images