What You Need To Know About New Orleans' Newest Luxury Resort
For anyone who knows me, they know that whenever NOLA calls, I come running.
So was the case when Bluegreen Vacations invited xoNecole along with several other journalists to experience all that New Orleans has to offer in the comfort of their newest luxury boutique resort, The Marquee. This weekend marked the grand opening of the newest addition to the resorts' The Cityscape collection. And when you're in need of a moment to take a breath from all the sight-seeing or while you recover from one too many hand grenades, The Marquee Resort fully intends to be a little slice of heaven away from home.
When I think of New Orleans, I think of the food (oysters are always and a forever a must), the energy of its people, the pulse of the culture felt all around you, and magic. Inescapable, infectious magic. I'm convinced it casted a spell on me--in that hauntingly inviting way that it does--when I first visited in 2015. Since then, I've been coming back for more and finding more reasons to love it. This weekend, I added The Marquee to that ever-evolving list.
Here are a few more reasons to think of The Marquee for your next NOLA adventure:
Location is king and so are the amenities.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Conveniently located on Elk Place, the Vaudeville-esque property just off the lifeline of New Orleans' bustling city, Canal Street. It's also a 13-minute walk to the Mercedes-Benz Superdome (ESSENCE Fest, anyone?). In other words, you're in the center of all of the excitement and wonderment NOLA has to offer with most things just a quick $10 Uber ride, a trolley, or a sight-filled walk away.
With their one-bedroom, two-bedroom, and three-bedroom options all coming fully decked out with a full kitchen (with a coffee maker and blender as an added plus), a washer and dryer in unit, walk-in showers, walk-in closets and more, it's definitely on my list to revisit with friends for a long stay where we'd want to share rooms without sacrificing privacy. Hey, whatever happens in NOLA, stays in NOLA.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
The magic it serves is undeniable.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Magic could be felt all up and through The Marquee, as we were treated to some of the magnetism of what makes NOLA a place I love to return to. The Marquee is all about theater, a touch that acts as a callback to the history of the neighborhood, that was at one time referred to as Storyville. Story Val is the embodiment of the linear 3D sculpture that greets you in the lobby and acts as the narrator for The Marquee. Story Val leads guests through The Marquee's story and allows them to become a part of the overall story. In fact, once you check-in, your name gets added to the hotel's Featured Cast display.
Instead of dropping our things down and looking to our app for the nearest Uber to get into some excitement (or mischief), you're captivated enough to want to stay a little while and indulge in the little Wizard of Oz-esque moments around the property.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
The integrated AR takes art to the next level.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
AR is everywhere, breathing life into the art pieces that surround you. Portraits move on the walls behind their curtain, hushing you from telling their secrets. On the ground level, you experience a black and white color scheme that boldens and saturates with color as you level up and go higher up on the floors. The idea there is the higher you go on the elevator, the "naughtier" you are, which is why bold reds that spark passion are the choice of color. On your headboard, portraits move too, this time with the help of a mobile app called Inter-Blue that will allow the art piece to tell her story to you.
The Marquee is completely unique in that way from other accommodations that I've had the pleasure of staying at over the years. The reason being, Bluegreen Vacations are resorts that allow friends and families to own a piece of the city that they are visiting, so that they have a go-to vacation spot in their favorite city when it's time to travel.
You'll get all the amenities of home, but with the added magic of being on a vacation. A little piece of heaven in the unforgettable paradise that is New Orleans, Louisiana.
Featured image by Getty Images; all photos by Sheriden Chanel
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You'd Be Amazed How Much This One Thing Can Keep You Out Of Divorce Court
I truly can’t believe that it was almost five freakin’ years ago that I penned “Why I'll Never Call Someone A 'Boyfriend' Again” for this platform. Now that I’m in the thick of writing my third book (due out later this year) and I’m revisiting this declaration, I am standing firm on it more than ever. There are no boyfriends in the Bible. Your taxes couldn’t care less if you have a boyfriend (some of y’all will catch that later). And acting like you’re married while having a boyfriend when you’re actually not? That is so hella counterproductive — on a myriad of different levels.
Yeah, the longer I live, the more folks I counsel, and the more that I observe humanity; in general, I honestly believe that this culture and how it dates, it teaches people how to divorce, not marry. “Fall in love,” place marriage rules in the dynamic, break up…rinse, and repeat. Then, by the time you actually do say marital vows to someone (which are serious, y’all), you don’t even really mean them or get the weight of them because you’re processing them as barely a step up from whatever you and your last three boyfriends promised to each other.
It's so countercultural to talk about relationships from this angle — and that is why I am hypervigilant about doing all that I can to keep married folks from calling it quits. Because what the Bible does say is covenant-keeping is very serious (Malachi 2:16, Matthew 19:1-12, I Corinthians 7:10-11, Ephesians 5:22-33), the reality is that divorces can be costly on every level, and, reportedly, about half of people who do divorce, on some level, end up regretting it (check out “What Some People Regret About Their Divorce”). So, if we can keep the ending of marriages to a minimum (or at least try), shouldn’t we?
With all of this said, in walks something that I personally found to be pretty interesting. Apparently, after a whopping 40,000 couples were researched, with 94 percent accuracy, there is one thing that could predict if they would divorce. Or not. Are you ready to read what it is?
Did You Know There Is Such a Thing As “The Four Horsemen” in a Marriage?
GiphyIt never fails. Whenever I’m having a conversation with a couple who is seriously contemplating marriage, one thing that they will ask me is if there’s a way to ensure that they won’t get a divorce. I mean, if two people decide to not divorce, they won’t. That’s another message for another time, though. For now, what I will say is when I read about what The Gottman Institute considers to be “The Four Horsemen” of poor communication styles in a marriage, I totally got where they were coming from.
And what are they? According to the institute, it’s criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Although the reality is that pretty much all humans struggle with these on some level, let me briefly explain what it means to be excessive with them.
- An overly critical person gives unsolicited advice that the person on the receiving end either doesn’t want or doesn’t find to be helpful at all. Still, the critical person gives it because they always seem to think that they know best — including when it comes to timing.
- A person who speaks with some level of contempt usually hits below the belt or is super disrespectful in their delivery. They don’t mind being very sarcastic, dismissive, mocking others, or calling them names (bookmark this one).
- A person who is hella defensive usually struggles with not taking what they dish out, they can’t receive advice unless it’s connected to praise, and they absolutely suck at personal accountability, which is why they deflect, make excuses, and justify their actions a lot.
- Stonewallers are individuals who hold grudges, are passive-aggressive, and refuse to communicate. Of the four, this one is typically seen as the most immature course of action.
And when you take all of these in and then factor in that poor communication (because if you argue a lot, your communication skills need work) continues to be one of the leading causes of divorce (although I do find it interesting that, as far as sources of conflict go, career choices then parenting styles and then the divvying up of household chores lead the pack), whether you want to get married, are newly married or have been married for a while now, keeping those four horsemen in mind, along with being real with yourself about where you succumb to communicating that way, all of this is definitely worth taking special note of.
Okay, but those are four things and the title of this article says that ONE thing, in particular, can help you to avoid divorce most of all. What is it? Well, as far as which one of the four is the most damning, many experts say that it’s contempt. I get why. I mean, who wants to be intimate with someone, on any level, if they are mean as hell? After all, no one signs up to be another person’s emotional punching bag. Marriage is supposed to be an emotional safe space; not a battlefield.
However, according to the married couple John Gottman, Ph.D. and Julie Gottman, Ph.D., the greatest predictor of divorce is something else (although the four horsemen are definitely a huge part of what can prevent what I’m about to say next from transpiring).
The One Thing That Just Might “Divorce-Proof” Your Marriage
GiphySo what could actually keep you out of divorce court if you take and then apply it seriously? The Gottmans call it “turning towards” your partner. And just what does that mean? In a nutshell, it’s being intentional about making sure that your partner feels both seen and heard.
Honestly, one of the best ways that you can do that is through your body language (check out “15 Relational Body Language Cues You Definitely Shouldn't Ignore”) because it’s already pretty rude for your partner to try and express how they feel and you turn your back towards them or even switch your energy away from them. No one wants to be dismissed like that. However, turning towards your partner means more than just that.
Turning towards your partner is all about fully engaging them. I’ll give you some examples:
When you’re turning towards your partner, you are applying compassion. For instance, if they had a hard day at work and they express to you what’s going on, you’re not so quick to give advice or criticize; instead, you acknowledge what they said and respond with things like, “I can see how that would make you feel. Anything I can do?”
When you’re turning towards your partner, you are open to what they are saying, even about you, that you might not like. For example, if they bring something up that you do that bothers them or hurts their feelings, you don’t get defensive or pull that “You do it too” mess; instead, you take the approach of, “Will you explain to me how that affects you to the point where you are upset by it?” and then you LISTEN FULLY (meaning without interruption) to their response.
When you’re turning towards your partner, you take the stance that Dr. Phil has become well-known for saying: “Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?” You get that because your marriage isn’t just about you, you are willing to compromise, be flexible, and do what’s ultimately best for the relationship instead of only focusing on things going your way.
These are merely three examples of what it means to “turn towards” your partner, and according to the Gottmans, whenever you do that, you have an 86 percent chance of staying together instead of a 33 percent chance if you don’t.
And just how can you become a master at turning towards your partner if this is a concept that is completely new to you? Good question. When two people make the decision to share their lives, this means that they are choosing to meet each other’s needs. The only way that you can know what those are is by asking — not assuming, not presuming…asking. And then, once you know, discuss with your partner if you are meeting their needs in a way where they feel like their needs are actually being met.
And what does that mean? Listen, I can’t tell you how many times I have been in a session with a spouse who has told me that they are a good husband or wife, and then, when I ask their partner if they agree, all hell breaks loose. Yeah, you can’t be in a relationship with someone and have the only vote on whether you are good for them or not; they definitely get a say. And if you’re serious about “turning towards” your spouse, you’ll want to hear what they have to say about if you are both good to and for them — in both the big and smaller things.
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At the end of the day, if you want to avoid divorcing at all costs (and here’s hoping that you do), turning towards your partner is about expressing empathy. It’s about facing them, figuratively and literally, so that you can better understand them, support them, and share in their needs with them. Because when you sign up for marriage, that’s a huge part of what it means to be a married person.
Marriage: Riding through life together. Avoiding the four horsemen at all costs. Turning towards each other. Daily.
Amen.
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Featured image by Goodboy Picture Company/Getty Images