While growing up, as far as hairstyles are concerned, if there was a telling sign of the changes in seasons, it was when the Black women in my life who had type 3 hair would blow their tresses out. What they would always tell me is, due to the heat and humidity of Nashville, it was easier to let their natural curl pattern do its thing during late spring and early summer and for them to then turn around and straighten their hair during fall and winter.
As someone who keeps my own 4a-4b hair blown out pretty much year-round (more on that in a sec), I’ve never really given the weather motivator a ton of thought. However, now that I think about it, the method behind their madness actually makes a lot of sense because cooler temperatures can result in having a longer-lasting blowout, which ultimately means less heat damage (since you don’t have to apply heat as often), which is always a good thing.
That’s why, now that we are officially in the season of autumn (yay!), if you happen to rock your curls and coils in their unstretched state most of the time and you’d like to do something different for a while, here is why wearing a blowout is a marvelous option to consider.
Why Autumn Is Awesome for Blowouts
Getty Images
One of the best reasons why autumn and blowouts are such a match made in heaven is something that I already addressed in the intro: although there is humidity virtually all of the time (especially in certain climates), oftentimes there is less when it’s colder outside (or, at the very least, your head sweats less) which means that you don’t have to deal with as much shrinkage — which again, means that your blowouts will last so much longer than they would during the late-spring and summertime.
Another thing that is wonderful about wearing your hair straightened out during the fall is the fact that, although UV rays linger around whenever the sun is out (and the sun does indeed shine during the fall and winter; in fact, I used to go to high school with white girls who would bikini ski in order to get a tan), they aren’t quite as potent, which means that you don’t have to worry about them drying out your strands or stripping your color as much as you would when the weather is warmer.
And so, if you want to wear your hair straight (or straighter), fall can accommodate you without you having to worry about it damaging your locks (or natural curl pattern) in the process.
The Pros of Going with a Blowout Hairstyle
Unsplash
And just what about blowouts is so wonderful, overall? Well, for me personally, I choose to blow mine out, almost every wash day, for the following reasons:
- I don’t have to worry about tangles and fairy knots as much
- My tresses don’t experience as much damage whenever I style it
- My hair tends to have less frizz
- It can reduce styling time
- My nighttime routine is quicker
- When maintained properly, it can last for several days (easily)
- BONUS: It can keep you encouraged if you’re trying to grow your hair out and you want to see results that it is actually happening
Y’all, definitely one of the best things about being a Black woman is our hair is capable of doing so many different things. When it comes to a blowout, specifically, if you want the length, flow, and manageability of an almost flat-ironed or relaxed look while still having a lot of texture and even dimension, this is the hairstyle that will make that happen for you. I am certainly a witness.
5 Tips for Achieving a Healthy and Long-Lasting Blowout
Getty Images
A part of the reason why I decided to share three different blowout tutorials throughout this piece is that, while the general concept of a blowout is that you use a blow dryer to stretch out or semi-straighten your hair, there are little “tweaks” that can help to give you the exact results that you want; hopefully, these videos can help you out in that department. However, when it comes to things that everyone should do to achieve a healthy and long(er)-lasting blowout look, here are five tips that have definitely given me the results that I like.
1. Dust your ends. If it’s been months since you’ve stretched out your hair, there’s a high possibility that you will need to at least dust your ends. That process can help to remove split ends or fairy knots and help to even out your hair if there is an ever so slight bit of unevenness. For tips on how to dust your own ends, check out the video here, here, and here.
2. Apply more product than you think you should. When I’m prepping my hair for blowing it out, I apply several things: a leave-in conditioner, a bond spray (check out “Everything You Need To Know About Bond-Building Your Hair”), a thermal protectant (a cream-based one is best if you want to really penetrate your stands), and towards the end of blow drying my hair, I will apply some grapeseed oil and/or a sheen or conditioning spray (Bronner Brothers’ Smooth Sheen is a favorite of mine) to give some extra moisture and shine.
For me, it just seems like the more coated my hair is, the more “weighted” it becomes and more conditioned it is, so that there is less dryness and my locks are easier to style.
3. Use a cream straightener. Speaking of hair products, hands down, one of the best things that you can do is apply a cream straightener to your hair before you blow dry it. Not only will it help to smooth your cuticles, but it can also keep your hair straight for a longer period of time than if you didn’t apply it. As a bonus, a cream straighter can add sheen, softness, and more manageability without permanently altering your curl pattern. If you’ve never used a cream straightener before, Cosmo has several options that you can read about here.
4. Braid your hair at night. Okay, do genetics play a role in hair growth? The speed, yes. However, if you maintain your ends, which ultimately leads to length retention, you can eventually have some serious inches, regardless of what your hair type is. Don’t believe me? In walks, Indigenous Strandz — and if you don’t click on any other article in this piece, click on this one here. Although I’m not sure if she braids or twists her hair in order to keep it stretched, her video does represent the benefits of braiding at night in order to maintain your blowout — especially if you want to keep “touch-up heat” down to a minimum.
Although some people like to simply pin curl or wrap their hair up at night, I find that if you sweat at night or you don’t want a lot of “bumps” in your blowout, braiding (including cornrowing) is best. Also, as Indigenous Strandz mentioned in the link that I provided, because your ends are the oldest parts of your hair, it’s essential that you apply a carrier oil like hemp seed or an essential oil like rosemary (or both) as you’re braiding it up in order to nourish your ends and keep them stronger; that way, there is less of a chance that your hair will break off during your blowout.
5. Keep your bedroom cool. I grew up in a cool home, so keeping my thermostat(s) set to 68 degrees is normal to me. And guess what? It’s what’s also recommended if you want to keep your energy bills down. When it comes to your hair, specifically, this hack can help to keep you from sweating out your blowout at night. Then you can wake up the next day, take down your braids (or pin curls), spray some of the sheen that I mentioned earlier, use a paddle brush on your tresses, and boom — you’re good to go! The perfect blowout, just in time for fall. Fabulous.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by CoffeeAndMilk/Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
An Intimacy Coordinator Gives The Tea On Our Favorite Love Scenes (& How To Can Recreate Them)
Have you ever watched a movie or TV show with a spicy or romantic love scene that you couldn’t help but replay a few times? Don’t worry; I’m not judging you. That’s part of the movie magic—those moments are literally choreographed to make viewers feel connected. If you don’t believe me, just ask Zuri Pryor-Graves, an intimacy coordinator who helps make romantic scenes come to life while making sure everyone on set feels comfortable and respected.
Zuri’s work spans networks like HBO Max, BET, Starz, Apple TV, Hulu, Prime, Netflix, and more. In this exclusive interview with xoNecole, she gives us insight into her career, shares some surprising details about our favorite love scenes, and offers a few tips to elevate our own intimate experiences. Check it out below!
xoNecole: As I understand, the role of an intimacy coordinator is relatively new. Could you tell me about what it entails and what drew you to this line of work?
Zuri Pryor-Graves: Absolutely. Well, yes, it’s fairly new. We’ve been around since 2017 or 2018 after the Me Too Movement. And in my opinion, I feel like we’re an added layer of physical, psychological and emotional safety for everyone involved in creating these scenes. Because some scenes can be very hypersensitive from the mental health side of things, it’s not just about nudity or simulated sex. We’re liaisons from actors to production, but we’re also choreographers. We get to be in a unique space where we are a part of the creative and business side of the production.
xoN: Now I want to talk a little bit about consent. When working on scenes like you mentioned, how do you go about making sure everyone is comfortable?
Zuri: As a therapist, I can get very clinical. But I don’t want things to feel static or sterile. Because entertainment and TV is a creative process. It’s important to note that no actual sex is had. But for consent-based practices, I’ve seen intimacy coordinators come in and try to sit everyone down for a formal discussion, and I can do that when it’s needed. But I really try to lean on my actors and figure out what they need and how they move. If they already have a relationship, I might be the new person stepping in.
So instead of dictating how things should go, I focus on offering a different language or modeling that language. It’s not about talking to them like they’re in kindergarten, but more about saying, ‘In this situation, here's what I would need—what do you all need?’ It’s about normalizing and standardizing that language and behavior, especially when working with actors who have been doing this longer than I’ve been alive.
It’s not about talking to them like they’re in kindergarten, but more about saying, ‘In this situation, here's what I would need—what do you all need?’ It’s about normalizing and standardizing that language and behavior, especially when working with actors who have been doing this longer than I’ve been alive.
xoN: Got it. So I have to ask, what do you think gives a love scene that IT factor?
Zuri: An IT factor love scene comes from people willing to have really honest, vulnerable conversations about what they’re comfortable with, and from those who are intuitive enough to pick up on boundaries and respect them. Without that, you can see the discomfort on screen—and we, behind the camera, see it too. We’re sitting there like, 'Okay, cut.'
Actors often accept roles thinking it will be more comfortable than it is, or hoping for some magical ease, but the truth is, it’s going to be uncomfortable. The key is accepting that and figuring out how to move through it together. My ideal is when people are upfront and honest about their boundaries and what they need, and when they’re given the time to rehearse and prepare properly. But often, we discuss things, and next thing you know, we’re on set—without proper rehearsal, which is far from ideal, but happens.
xoN: So, honesty, vulnerability, and boundaries – sounds like that would create magic in real life too. Well, speaking of ‘IT” factor love scenes, our team put together a list of some of our favorites. Would you mind talking through a few of the background components and what made them stand out?
Zuri:Sure, let’s do it!
xoN: Let’s start with Love and Basketball’s scene where Monica experiences her first time with Quincy.
Zuri:So I’ve watched the Love and Basketball scene a lot—both as a kid and in my work now. I’ve even been asked to remake versions of that scene for other projects, but they haven’t always been as successful. But I think we love it because of their character development—we fell in love with those characters.
For any scene like that, it’s important to remember there’s no actual sex happening. So, part of my job is figuring out the modesty measures and what’s being placed between the actors' bodies. Since Love and Basketball was filmed years ago, I’d be curious to know what techniques they used – but something was between them. Another scene that comes to mind is from Jason’s Lyric. If you look closely, you can actually see the modesty wear in some shots—a tape or strapless thong, for example.
I love scenes that can be extremely sexy without being overly explicit. For instance, in Love and Basketball, we see his butt briefly, but there’s no full nudity. They had clear boundaries around that, which I think is great.
So I’ve watched the Love and Basketball scene a lot—both as a kid and in my work now. I’ve even been asked to remake versions of that scene for other projects, but they haven’t always been as successful. But I think we love it because of their character development—we fell in love with those characters.
xoN: Speaking of nudity, the next one on our list is Insecure. Specifically, we are referring to Issa and Daniel’s infidelity scene. When this show aired, I remember discussing how the men in the series often show more nudity than the women, which is usually the opposite in film. It’s interesting to see that dynamic play out. Can you talk a bit about that?
Zuri:In terms of nudity, every scene comes with individual contracts. When negotiating a simulated sex scene or one involving nudity, we create specific contracts known as nudity riders or simulated sex riders. These are provided to the actors 48 hours before the scene and outline every detail, specifying what will be shown—like whether we can see a left nipple, side breast, etc.
Many actors come to a production with overarching nudity-related clauses in their contracts, detailing what they can or cannot do, regardless of having seen the script. My guess is that on Insecure, all the women had a no-nudity clause in their contracts.
When shows don’t feature much nudity but want to suggest it, they often use a day player—an actor brought in just for that scene—who may appear naked while the main cast maintains their no nudity clauses.
xoN: Finally, the current show we landed on is Reasonable Doubt. I know you worked on that one! It’s a fan favorite right now, and the chemistry between all of the actors is so hot. What was it like working on that set, and what do you think took those love scenes to the next level?
Zuri: Reasonable Doubt was a really amazing project for me to work on as a mental health professional because all of the intimacy was so layered. Peeling back the relationships between these dynamic characters who were experiencing infidelity, domestic assault and violence, financial wellness, and so much more was a lot. Because all of these things factor into how people interact with each other in intimate settings.
One of the scenes I really liked is the scene with Chanel and Von in the hotel room. That is one of my favorite scenes, and it's because of how generous those actors were with one another and me in their creative process. They made the scene goal-oriented in a different way. For example, Chanel really wanted to show that she felt free in this moment - so it was a question of how do we bring that to life in intimacy.
xoN: Finally, I’ll close with this question: what are some elements that bring these creative scenes to life that we can actually take home to elevate our own sexual experiences?
Zuri: Knowing yourself and communication. You can’t communicate with someone else unless you know yourself. So when I’m having these conversations with actors, it always starts with 1:1 convo. I ask about boundaries, what makes them feel like they’d create their best work and comfortability. I think that’s for anyone. Intimacy starts with you before you share it with anyone.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy