Even One Is Too Many: The Current Sex Trafficking Crisis Among Black Women
A couple of nights ago, I got triggered (more on that in just a bit). Let me give a little history as to why. Back when I was in high school (a "Christian" high school at that), two guys—a Black male junior and a white male senior—pulled me into the back of the white senior's car. They handcuffed me, ripped open my shirt and bra and proceeded to sexually assault me. The Black junior had every intention of raping me, he even joked about making me give him some, but when the white senior saw the dead look in my eyes and noticed how silent I was—which was totally out of character for me—he convinced his "friend" to not do it. Instead, they drove me to the back of an old strip mall and, with my shirt still open, they dumped me outside of it. Luckily, another student's grandmother owned a beauty salon in that same strip mall, so I sought refuge there. The administration somehow convinced my mother and stepfather to not press charges. Instead, the guys were suspended for two days. That was it. They committed a crime yet they were able to go home and watch television for a couple of days while I returned to school feeling completely mortified, vulnerable and unprotected. It happened on a Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving. Every time this time of the year rolls around, I think about it.
That's why, as someone who is a survivor of sexual abuse, sexual assault and date rape (twice), I get triggered whenever I read headlines like "White South Carolina DJ Accused Of Sex-Trafficking Nearly 700 Black Girls" (how is this not international news, y'all?!) or I hear a quote from a Black male serial killer of Black female sex workers who rationalized his targeting based on the belief that no one would notice that that they were gone. Not notice? Or not care? Based on the lack of consistent coverage that the topic of sex trafficking among Black women is NOT receiving, I think there is a very fine line between the two. And that? That has me mad as hell.
It's not like this issue is some sort of conspiracy theory or an internet rumor that has gotten out of hand. Let's take Atlanta, for example. If you look on Wikipedia's page on sex trafficking in Georgia, it says this specifically about the city: "Atlanta is a major transportation hub for trafficking young girls from Mexico and is one of the fourteen U.S. cities with the highest levels of child sex trafficking. In 2007, the sex trade generated $290 million in Atlanta." That's not hard to believe when you are able to Google headlines like "Atlanta Hotel Employees Helped Sex Traffickers Avoid Police, Four Plaintiffs Allege in Federal Lawsuits", "Not For Sale: 100+ Minors Rescued In Child Sex Trafficking Op" and "Rampant Sex Trafficking Ignored at Atlanta-Area Hotels: Lawsuits". Have mercy.
Thankfully, I've never been a victim of sex trafficking. But as a survivor of sexual abuse and assault, there is absolutely no way that I can stand by and only read about what is going on. I have to give a voice to this ongoing evil. I have to do more than just "be triggered". Just like it takes a village to raise our children, it takes a village to protect our own as well. And so, I wanted to share just a few things that should make us all want to do whatever we can to shed light on what so many wish would remain in the dark.
Sex Trafficking Happens Daily. DAILY.
Even as I'm writing all of this this out, I caught the following headline—"Man Accused of Kidnapping, Sex Trafficking Girls". This monster was not in ATL; he is in Memphis. Sex trafficking is happening everywhere. Everywhere. It's been reported that between 20-40 million are victims of this form of modern-day slavery (which is exactly what sex trafficking is), that it's a $150 billion a year business, and that it flies under the radar because most victims go undetected; especially Black women. In fact, according to the National Center for Victims of Crime:
"Evidence suggests that Black youths ages 12 to 19 are victims of violent crime at significantly higher rates than their white peers. Black youths are three times more likely to be victims of reported child abuse or neglect, three times more likely to be victims of robbery and five times more likely to be victims of homicide."
Not only that but the article "Sex Trafficking's True Victims: Why Are Our Black Girls/Women So Vulnerable?" states this:
"Per the FBI, 59 percent of all juvenile prostitution arrests involve African-Americans. With law enforcement more likely to see a Black sex trafficking victim as a prostitute and not as someone needing help, trying to find solutions toward keeping our girls safe may require a radical examination of the core beliefs American society is currently based on."
One woman interviewed in the article said something that Cyntoia Brown-Long has stated based on her own sex trafficking survival story; she said that it wasn't until she read what happened to another woman that she even realized what sex trafficking was.
Sex Trafficking Is Way More Common than You Might Think
If you find that data hard to believe, take a moment to check out this sex trafficking survivor's recount. I'll give you the heads up that is absolutely heartbreaking to hear, although her courage and strength are absolutely mind-blowing. Black women amaze me; their resilience is like no other.
As Black Women, We Are Extremely Vulnerable When It Comes to Sex Trafficking
So, here comes my trigger point. Y'all, I wish that I could find it in my inbox, but a couple of weeks ago, a woman tweeted a story about hailing a Lyft or Uber (I can't remember) and the driver initially attempted to drop her off at an abandoned building instead of the airport. It wasn't until she persisted that he do otherwise that he took her to where she was actually supposed to be. Who knows what that man's motive was, but I thought about him when I watched a now viral video about a woman who has a similar story.
She took a Lyft but, rather than the driver taking her to her place of employment, he drove up behind a truck who had a man in it who opened up the gates to a warehouse. How did she escape? She got out of the car and ran. Watch the video. She is clearly shaken. Me? Triggered. And you know what? Anyone who is even remotely tempted to be skeptical or cynical about stories like these, they should read articles like "Las Vegas Police Trying to Combat Sex Trafficking in Ride Shares" and "Uber Trains Drivers On How To Spot Victims Of Human Trafficking". Again, just because this isn't getting the kind of coverage that it should, that doesn't mean it isn't happening. Lyft and Uber are not oblivious either. Not even a little bit.
So, What Should We Do About this...Whispered Epidemic?
Yeah. This a lot. A LOT. And please believe that I'm not sharing all of this to paralyze you with fear; it's more about simply heightening the awareness of this…whispered epidemic. Why do I call it that? It's because while sex trafficking among Black women and Black girls (Black boys too) isn't exactly something that is being silenced, it is most definitely something that we should be getting louder and louder about. Consistently and unapologetically so.
We can start by being proactive about some of the ways to protect ourselves while supporting the women around us—whether we know them personally or not.
1. Tweet and Retweet Missing People's Info
Another tweet that I recently saw simply asked, "Where are all of the Amber Alerts for all of these missing Black women?" I mean, and I'm saying. We all know that mainstream media is, let's say passively aggressively ignorant to a lot of what happens in our community. At the same time, what we also know is Black Twitter is a powerhouse that is close-to-impossible to rival. So, when you're on your social media, if someone comes up in your feed who is asking you to use your voice to spread the word about a missing person, please retweet it.
Even though there are murmurings of hoaxes going on that are purely for the sake of getting attention (which is absolutely deplorable), I would rather RT and be wrong than not do it and always wonder if I should have. All of the stories that go viral happen because we share the information. According to Statista, as of last year, there were 200,000 files of missing Black people. There are several other outlets that state between 64,000-75,000 Black women and girls are missing. These numbers are way too high to be wondering if someone is telling the truth or not when a picture of a loved one scrolls up on our timeline.
2. Share Insightful Survival Tips with Others
Even without all of the trafficking that is going on, I am not someone who parks next to vans or trucks. I don't care if I'm at the grocery store, a post office or the movies. I need to park where folks can see me get in and out of my car and large vehicles make that pretty difficult. If you think that leans on the side of being paranoid, I am totally fine with that. Besides, this video right here co-signs on why it really is a super smart thing to do.
Even though I don't have social media accounts, when I saw this video, I shared it. Every little bit of proactive insight helps. Whenever you get some, please make sure to pass it along as well.
3. If You’re a Guy, Check on Your Sistahs
I'm a single Black woman and the men in my life never let me forget it. One of my closest male friends is a retired Marine and he is perfectly fine letting me know that he knows how to keep tabs on me, whether I like it or not. My male friends request that I let them know if I'm heading out at night and, if so, to reach out when I return home so that they know that I'm safe. They're good dudes. They really are.
A man by the name of Minister Tony Bradford once said, "The most revolutionary thing that a Black man can do, living in a racist society, is to love, protect and respect his Black woman." Amen. The only thing that I would add to that is, Black men, we need you to love, protect and respect us whether we're in a personal relationship with you or not.
If you see a Black woman walking alone in a parking lot, watch to make sure that she gets there safely. If it seems like someone is harassing her in any way, don't be hesitant to ask, "Are you OK, sis?" Little gestures like this help to make us feel like we're not alone; like someone is truly looking out. (Which means ladies, when guys do stuff like this, don't automatically assume it's game. Give the benefit of the doubt that they are simply being gentlemen.)
4. If You’re a Non-Black Person, Please Do Your Part
Essence. Atlanta Black Star. The Root. If you go to your favorite search engine and put "Black human trafficking" in the search field, these are the publications that will have links on the topic. And what does they have in common? They are Black sites. My point?
If you're a non-Black person reading this and you're like, "Wow. That's horrible" but that response is not followed up with "What can I do?" then your sympathy is not enough. We need compassion and compassion is defined as being "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering".
Also share the missing reports that you see. And please, make the time to contact non-Black media outlets to alert them to what they seem to be overlooking far more than they should—missing Black women and girls. While they might claim to not know, they will end up looking real crazy out here if ALL OF US are writing them so much that we're like, "Oh, you know. We've been hounding you for weeks now." Not just Black people (which should be enough…SMDH). Everyone.
5. As Far as Ridesharing Goes…
I can count the amount of times that I've been in an Uber or Lyft. None of the times have I been uneasy but that doesn't mean that I wasn't aware of my surroundings either. In the effort to protect yourself—wait indoors until your ride comes. If you need to, take a picture of the license plate before getting into the vehicle (it's not illegal to do that) and then send it to a loved one or co-worker. Before shutting the door, make sure that there are no child safety locks on it (if there are…step out of the vehicle). Confirm that they know your first name and where you are going before leaving with the driver (if they are legitimate, they will know both). Remember, you are not catching a ride with a friend; you are paying for a service. So, if you feel uneasy for any reason, make sure to report the driver, even if you get to your destination safely. Do not offer up any personal details with the driver. Download a tracking app like Tego so that someone you trust can track where you are walking or riding to. Make sure that someone knows when you got into the car and when you got out (if you feel more comfortable remaining on the phone the entire time, that's cool too). Tips like these should help to put you more at ease if ridesharing is what you choose to do.
6. Protect Yourself. AT ALL TIMES.
A lot of people are talking more and more about arming themselves; especially Black women. If that is not something that you desire or are yet prepared to do, there are other ways to protect yourself. Pepper spray. Tactical pens. Stun guns. These are just some of the other things that you can carry while you're out 'n about. Several years ago, I took a self-defense class and it was one of the most self-empowering things that I've ever done. If money is tight and you need to take a free set of courses, click here for info on where to find what you need. If you must go out late at night, try and avoid being alone. Oh, and always carry a flashlight in your purse or get a key chain one. Two things that hate the light are rodents and criminals (which is pretty much interchangeable, if you ask me).
Y'all, we all know that so much more can be said. But it is my hope and prayer that this at least reminded you that none of us are alone in this and that there are things that can be done to fight back. Black sex trafficking is criminal, evil and an ongoing epidemic. But Black love, power and support is unstoppable. Let's not lose sight of our light…in the midst of what so many are trying to keep in the dark.
If you or someone you know is a victim of sex trafficking, contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888 or visit HumanTraffickingHotline.org.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
The Empowering Way This Rape Survivor Took Back Her Life
We Can't Only Demand & Refute Justice When It Serves To Help Our Men
Being Sexually Assaulted Led Me To Myself
My Partner Knew I Had Been Sexually Assaulted Before I Told Him
Feature image by Shutterstock
- Collateral Damage: How LA's fight against sex trafficking is hurting ... ›
- Trafficking is a Problem for Our Girls, Too — OURSELVES BLACK ›
- Who's disproportionately a victim of human trafficking? Young black ... ›
- African American human trafficking statistics will astound you! ›
- Gabrielle Union: Human Trafficking Disproportionately Affects Black ... ›
- White South Carolina DJ Accused Of Sex-Trafficking Nearly 700 ... ›
- Essence Special Report: Sex Trafficking In The Black Community ... ›
- Sex Trafficking's True Victims: Why Are Our Black Girls/Women So ... ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The Power Of Your Big 3: Understanding The Astrological Significance You Hold
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
Astrology has become even more mainstream and a phenomenon than it ever has in the past. We have gone beyond the, “What’s your sign?” and have moved into “What’s your big 3?” seemingly overnight, and rightly so due to the significance of knowing these important details. Your Big 3 in Astrology represents your sun sign, your moon sign, and your rising sign.
This trifecta is thought to be one of the most significant details of your birth chart and gives you and others more of a full-picture look at who you are beyond just your sun sign.
What Does Your Big 3 In Astrology Say About You?
Knowing your big 3 is important, especially if you are someone who has never really resonated with your sun sign. You read about what it means to be an Aries, but may not align with what you see or your experience with other Aries. Meanwhile, the whole time, you have a Libra rising, the complete opposite sign of Aries, and this is why you have always seen yourself as a more laid-back and less confrontational Aries.
Elements hold a key role in your birth chart and having a big 3 where the elements are all compatible or the same often signifies someone who knows who they are and is comfortable in their skin. Whereas someone with a different element for each part of their big 3 may have challenges with identity or defining who they are or how they want to present themselves. It’s a different type of perspective when looking into your big 3, and it helps you see where your strengths and needs are in life, and how to tap more into this potential.
Your Big 3 In Astrology Explained
Your big 3 can help you navigate life by understanding which part of you comes out more in different circumstances. At home, you are most like your moon sign, when you are out and about, you are most like your rising sign. Whether you are at home or out and about, your goals, purpose, and interests are most like your sun sign.
You can find out what your big 3 is by looking up a ‘Birth Chart Calculator’ on your search engine, typing in your birthday details (you will need to know your birth date, location, and the exact time you were born), and generating your birth chart.
Read below for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
YOUR SUN SIGN
Your sun sign represents the core of you and what motivates you to shine and be your best self. This is your personality, goals, purpose, identity, ego, interests, direction, and where you light up in life.
FIRE SUN (Aries Sun, Leo Sun, Sagittarius Sun)
If you are an Aries sun, a Leo sun, or a Sagittarius sun, you are outgoing, confident, fearless, and in tune with yourself and your personal goals and desires in life. You go after the things you want, and you are not afraid to take up space. You are someone who prefers to be more independent, and you are often in more leadership roles in life.
EARTH SUN (Taurus Sun, Virgo Sun, Capricorn Sun)
If you are a Taurus sun, a Virgo sun, or a Capricorn sun, you are grounded, dependable, loyal, hard-working, and logical. You prefer the finer things in life but also work hard to get where you are. You are someone others feel they can rely on, and you are often a support for other people in your life. You are very connected to the material sides of life, and have a gift for manifesting.
AIR SUN (Gemini Sun, Libra Sun, Aquarius Sun)
If you are a Gemini sun, a Libra sun, or an Aquarius sun, you are light-hearted, free-flowing, intelligent, and communicative. You speak what is on your mind, and you love to connect and communicate with others. People know you for the things you say and your out-of-the-box ideas, and you are someone who is open-minded and provides a safe space for people to be authentically themselves.
WATER SUN (Cancer Sun, Scorpio Sun, Pisces Sun)
If you are a Cancer sun, a Scorpio sun, or a Pisces sun, you are thoughtful, generous, emotional, loving, and compassionate. You care deeply about the people you love, and you are always there for others. You may be more emotional than most, and this is due to your strong intuition and open heart. You are creative, inspiring, and motivated towards connection in life.
YOUR MOON SIGN
Your moon sign represents your emotions. This is the way you express yourself emotionally, how you process your emotions, what you need in love, what makes you feel safe and nurtured, your desires, intuition, your inner world, and what’s going on beneath the surface.
FIRE MOON (Aries Moon, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Moon)
If you are an Aries moon, a Leo moon, or a Sagittarius moon, you are someone who is not afraid to communicate your emotions or how you are feeling, and you can feel your emotions from a mile away. You are confident in yourself and are someone who stands up for what you feel is right. You have a strong need to be seen and heard in your relationships, and a certain type of understanding is needed for you to emotionally thrive. You may have some challenges with anger or high energy and are working through emotional impulses in this lifetime.
EARTH MOON (Taurus Moon, Virgo Moon, Capricorn Moon)
If you are a Taurus moon, a Virgo moon, or a Capricorn moon, you are someone who is emotionally grounded, safe, comforting, and logical. You aren’t overly emotional and may not show your emotions to people much at all, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have them. You think before you speak, and you process your emotions before acting on them, and you tend to be more down-to-earth and understanding when it comes to other people’s emotional worlds as well. You are someone people go to when they need someone to talk to you as you are a very good listener.
AIR MOON (Gemini Moon, Libra Moon, Aquarius Moon)
If you are a Gemini moon, a Libra moon, or an Aquarius moon, you are someone who is fun, outgoing, and emotionally open-minded. You don’t like heavy emotions or too much emotional drama, and you tend to be more go-with-the-flow in this area of your life. Good conversation and mutual understanding are very important to you in your relationships and you want funny banter and inspiration in your connections with others.
WATER MOON (Cancer Moon, Scorpio Moon, Pisces Moon)
If you are a Cancer moon, a Scorpio moon, or a Pisces moon, you are someone who lives by their heart and values your emotional world deeply. You crave a deep type of intimacy in your partnerships and you need a partner who is going to give you that type of emotional connection. You are more private with your emotional world and you tend to hold a lot in, but this can often lead to sudden outbursts as well. Overall, you are the definition of emotion and others learn a lot from you on what it means to love and to feel.
YOUR ASCENDANT (RISING SIGN)
Your ascendant sign represents your perception and the energy you put out into the world. This is the way you come across to others, the way you express yourself, your physical traits and aesthetics, how you manifest, society, and what you expect from the world around you.
FIRE ASCENDANT (Aries Rising, Leo Rising, Sagittarius Rising)
If you are an Aries rising, a Leo rising, or a Sagittarius rising, you come across to others as confident, bold, and stylish. You are known for the way you look or the way you present yourself, and you are usually adorned in bright colors or wearing something that others take a lot of notice of. You are someone who walks into a room, and all eyes are on you, and you love that. You want to be on the move and on the go, and you love to show up in the world exactly as you are today. You see the world with a lot of possibilities and like it's yours to have fun and enjoy yourself in.
EARTH ASCENDANT (Taurus Rising, Virgo Rising, Capricorn Rising)
If you are a Taurus rising, a Virgo rising, or a Capricorn rising, you come across to others as responsible, beautiful, natural, and dependable. You are a hard worker, and you may be known for your career or the work that you do. You are someone who walks into a room and people feel an immediate sense of comfort and like you are someone they can trust. You have strong values and goals, and you are someone who knows what they want. People love to be around your down-to-earth energy, and you make others feel safe and grounded.
AIR ASCENDANT (Gemini Rising, Libra Rising, Aquarius Rising)
If you are a Gemini rising, a Libra rising, or an Aquarius rising, you come across to others as outgoing, friendly, and talkative. You see the world as a place to learn, connect, and be inspired, and you are on a quest for knowledge and understanding. You connect with people from all walks of life, and you tend to have a pretty open-minded and unique friend group. You care a lot about your style and aesthetic and always strive to be authentically you wherever you are. You can talk to people for hours and are often meeting new people and making new friends wherever you go.
WATER ASCENDANT (Cancer Rising, Scorpio Rising, Pisces Rising)
If you are a Cancer rising, a Scorpio rising, or a Pisces rising, you navigate life through the lens of your emotions, and you are deeply connected to the undercurrents of life. You are ruled by your emotions, and this side of you is not something you can keep hidden away easily. You get emotional when you think about society and others at large, and you want to be known for the kind and sincere person you are. When you walk into a room, you feel other people's energy right away and are highly empathic and intuitive.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by We Are/Getty Images