Black Women Professionals Give Us Tips & Tricks For Reducing Anxiety
By show of hands, who here feels like they're slowly going nuts sitting in the house all day, everyday? You? You? I think I see a few hands in the back. I can confidently say that, at least, 80 percent of people I know are just about ready to lose their minds. At this point, we just want to go outside. I found myself looking outside of the window in my boyfriend's apartment for the fourth time today and constructing a fictional narrative for everyone on the block. I may have created a show better than Courtney Kemp's Power in my mind, but boredom strikes creativity. Actually, it's not boredom, it's angst. I'm envious that certain people in the world don't care enough about their own health to stay inside per the orders of the local police, the government and the president of the United States.
For those of us who are trying to take this quarantine thing "day-by-day" and staying our asses indoors, I've got just the thing for you. I spoke with entrepreneurs, mental health professionals and medical experts about combating anxiety and stress during COVID-19.
In a world where we're feeling out of control, what are some ways people can feel more in control?
Step Up Your Self-Care Game:
Kelley Green, International Yoga Instructor & Self-Love Enthusiast
"Journal your thoughts, speak to someone you trust like a therapist or life coach, calm your body's response to stress with breath-work, yoga, or meditation, and/or form new mental shifts that lead to you having a more positive outlook on life, like practicing gratitude."
Sit Close To The Window While You Work:
Yasmine Jameelah, CEO & Founder of Transparent Black Girl
"Studies show that decreased sun exposure has been associated with a drop in serotonin levels, which can lead to depression. When my face hits the sun as I work, it makes me feel like I'm still connected to the world. Also, create a bomb playlist to work to that soothes you - Solange, Amerie, Earth, Wind, & Fire, and Lucky Daye are in heavy rotation for me right now."
Log Off Or Turn Off The Information:
Joi Britt, Podcast Host, The Joi of Social Work
"It is important to be informed but there is something about too much information that can make you anxious or fearful of honestly something we cannot control. When we are thinking about the lack of control that we have, it is also important to remember there are things in life we still can control and that might not have changed as drastically."
Remember You Have Full Control Over Your Internal Space:
Erica James-Strayhorn, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Owner of Erica James Counseling, LLC
"You can remind yourself [that you have full control of your internal space] by reciting affirmations or mantras. This is also a great time to maybe redecorate or re-arrange furniture in your home. Also, maybe letting go of items that no longer serve you."
Focus On Getting Grounded & Centered:
Eliza Boquin, MA, LMFT, Co-Founder of Melanin & Mental Health, LLC
"It's easy to feel overwhelmed and out of control. This is the perfect time to focus on activities centered around regulating what is happening in your body. Start with moving your body--walk, a jog, dance. Moving your body is an excellent way to move emotions out of your body, boost your mood, and regulate your nervous system."
Writing Your Thoughts Down:
Jay Blessed, Podcaster, “IN MY HEAD” & Mental Health Advocate
"I started a #QuarantineWriting group on Instagram where I challenge my friends to 15 minutes of daily writing. Writing can be so cathartic during painful times but the therapeutic qualities of putting your thoughts down on paper or your phone's notepad are beyond valuable. This creative act has pushed me to address my emotions, to call it by name and to let them go."
Talk To Your Spirit/Higher Power:
Brianne Cash, Editor-in-Chief, Sad Girls Club + Sad Moms Club
"My meditations with Spirit have involved deeper, more intense conversation, fluid body movement and energy pulls; I listen with both my heart and ears open. We are all in an incubation period. We are all cocooning and as scary as times may seem right now, Spirit says not to worry-- a new world is on the way."
Continue Your Normal Routine:
Tiffany L. Mayers, MSW, LCSW, Mental Health Advocate & Clinician
"If you routinely work out at the gym, try working out at home or outside, if the weather permits. With anxiety, maintaining a sense of normalcy is very important. Loss of control can be a major trigger so you want to keep with a routine to help with reducing stress."
Stay In Gratitude:
Shevon Jones, MSW, Social Worker & Founder of the Mental Wellness Collective
"Gratitude interrupts anxiety. It allows for you to focus on all that you are grateful for and only that. So often we go through life aimlessly ignoring the things that feed us life and keep us going daily. In times of crisis it is important to focus on what you are grateful for. Each morning pick five things you are grateful for to set the tone for the day. And, every time you feel yourself getting anxious or overwhelmed, think back to what you are grateful for. It is hard to focus on negative thoughts and positive ones at the same time."
Get Organized:
Camryn Triplett, Mental Health Advocate & Communications Manager, Silence The Shame
"With so much uncertainty around us, find comfort in controlling the things around you. Now is the time to reorganize your bathroom, closet, kitchen, etc."
Gain Control Of Your Sex Life:
Tatyannah King, Sex Blogger, Sex Therapist in Training
"For sex, despite social distancing, couples can still focus on more sexting and phone sex. They can text their partner re-describing their favorite sexual experience together or do a creative challenge in which they go back and forth, daring each other to pose a certain way in their nudes without repeating any ideas."
Featured image by Yasmine Jameelah
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Kierra Sheard-Kelly Talks Being A New Mom And How Her Children's Book Is Based On A True Story
Kierra Sheard-Kelly is a Grammy award-winning artist who has been a force in gospel music for almost two decades. Although she comes from the legendary musical family, The Clark Sisters (her mom being Karen Clark Sheard), she has managed to make a name for herself in gospel with hits like "Hang On" and "It Keeps Happening," as well as being a judge on the popular BET gospel singing competition show, Sunday's Best.
Besides music, Kierra has also ventured into fashion with her clothing line Eleven60 and is an author, penning her latest book, Kiki Finds Her Voice, which is a children's book based on a childhood memory. With so much success in her career, the singer has now started on a new journey, motherhood. In a xoNecole exclusive, Kierra opens up about becoming a children's book author, a new mom, and much more.
While Kierra already has two books under her belt, the Line Sisters star chose to make her third book, Kiki Finds Her Voice, a children's book. The story is about Kiki deciding to sing about God in a school talent show after her parents told her she couldn't sing a love song with her friends. Kierra says the story is based on a moment in her childhood.
"I was auditioning with some girls from school, and I think we all kind of go through this where we're discovering if we are extroverts or introverts, or even if we're in between, ambiverts and then sometimes we feel like it sometimes we don't," she tells us. "Children still have that space as well. But at this moment, I was trying to make friends. I was trying to fit in. I wanted to be popular and cool and be accepted. And I think every child goes through this at some point in their lives, and I auditioned for a talent show."
Kierra explains that they sang an R&B song during the audition, and when her mom caught wind of it, she made her change her song. "My mother was being my mother and being the protective adult that she was in that space, and she was like, 'This is not an appropriate song for you to sing as a child.' So, she bust into that talent show audition, and she made sure that I switched my song," she reveals.
"Of course, the girls, they dropped off, and they weren't interested, and they were like, we don't want to do your churchy song swap out kind of thing. And I had to learn the lesson my parents were saying, 'Hey, everybody's not gonna agree with your choices, and that's even now. Even when you become an adult, but don't let that define you."
Kiki Finds Her Voice was influenced by Kierra becoming a mother herself. The "Miracles" singer is a new mom to Khloé-Drew Valencia Kelly, who she shares with her husband, Jordan Kelly. The couple tied the knot in December 2020, and Kierra has been candid about their pregnancy journey. The gospel singer experienced several miscarriages before welcoming little Khloé in November 2023, and after a few months in, she is opening up about motherhood, calling it "great," "beautiful," and even "tricky."
"It's almost like motherhood has strengthened me to be more bold with what I know God has told me and to not question or doubt it. It's like you don't have too much time to second guess that because literally, someone else is dependent on your relationship with God, you know?" She explains.
"So it has me diving in. My prayer points are different. My prayers are more precise. Even with who's around me, I'm very careful now. I'm always looking around my shoulder, not, you know, out of fear, but just to make sure. And I read something the other day, and it said, not only is the baby born, but the mother is born also. So this new being that is a part of myself has been awakened, and it's beautiful. I'm writing and singing different. I don't worry about the little stuff, you know, the minutiae. I let stuff go. It's like I got other things to worry about. Like I feel grown grown now. If you know what I mean?"
Kierra calls Khloé-Drew her "miracle baby," and she hopes to build a relationship similar to the one she has with her parents. The "Something Has To Break" artist says her parents, Karen Clark Sheard and John Drew Sheard Sr., are her best friends, and fostering a relationship with her daughter is what's most important to her.
Keep up with Kierra and her family on Instagram and check out her children's book Kiki Finds Her Voice.
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Feature image by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Lifetime