These Celeb Dads Are Reminders Of The Importance Of Black Fatherhood
In my book, I am the woman I am today because of the love poured into me by mother and my father. While Father's Day isn't the only time of year to celebrate the power and the presence of black fathers and father figures in our lives, it is a beautiful reminder to honor the men we hold near and dear to us. At xoNecole, we are all about giving credit where credit is due and in honor of today and every day, we wanted to showcase a roundup of black celebrity dads actively showcasing why representation of black fatherhood matters.
Both sons and daughters need their fathers, and these black celebrity dads serve as proof of that truth.
Usher and His Kids
Usher Raymond is a singer, actor, songwriter extraordanaire whose career spans across decades. Despite his distant relationship with his now-deceased father, Usher was intentional about playing an active role in the lives of his children. The R&B singer married his personal stylist of several years Tameka Foster-Raymond in 2007. After their union, he became a stepfather to her three sons from past relationships. Shortly thereafter, they had their child together, Usher "Cinco" Raymond V in November 2007. Regarding his decision to pass his multi-generational namesake down to his son, he explained:
"I never hated my father. I would have named my child Usher regardless. I never hated myself because I carried his name, because I made it mean what I wanted it to mean."
A little over a year later, he and Foster welcomed their second child together, another son named Nayvid Ely Raymond. Although he and Foster's marriage would eventually fizzle a short two years later, Usher was able to obtain primary custody of his sons.
In September 2020, Usher experienced fatherhood all over again with his newest addition, his daughter Sovereign Bo Raymond. She is the twice-divorced artist's first daughter and his first child with his new love, music exec Jenn Goicoechea. He shared the meaning behind her unique name in an interview with PEOPLE:
"Sovereign, man, is such a beautiful word and name to me, you know, a supreme ruler is obviously the defined name. She's definitely ruling the household, but Sovereign Bo — Bo is at the end of it, so [she's] my little 'reign-bo.'"
At 42, the "Bad Habits" singer recently revealed that he and his girlfriend are expecting their second child together and Usher's fourth overall.
Iman Shumpert and His Kids
Iman Shumpert's love for being a father probably rivals his love for the queen of his heart, his wife Teyana Taylor. The long-time couple welcomed their first child together famously in the bathroom of their home. Their eldest daughter, Iman Tayla Shumpert Jr. (nicknamed Junie), was born in December 2015.
In regards to getting some skin in the game about being a first-time father, in 2017, Iman tweeted, "This father stuff will turn you soft man, really soft." And nothing was the same. The girl-dad is now proud papa to not one but two daughters. After announcing that they were expecting their second child last June, Teyana gave birth via a home delivery in September 2020, Rue Rose Shumpert.
John Legend and His Kids
R&B crooner and The Voice judge John Legend is creating his own legacy as the proud father of two kids with wife and long-time love Chrissy Teigen. After being together for nearly a decade, the pair who met on the set of one of his music videos, had their first child, daughter Luna Simone Stephens in April 2016. The "All of Me" singer had this to say about holding Luna for the first time:
"It's beautiful, it's very emotional, and it brings you and your wife closer together. It's a very powerful feeling to see the product of your love right there in front of you."
As a couple, John and Chrissy have been super vocal about their pregnancy journey and even admitted to using IVF to conceive Luna, as well as their second child years later. Their son, Miles Theodore Stephens, was born in May 2018. John later touched on the transition of growing from a family of three to a family of four:
"It's a thing, you know. In some ways it's easier because we have perspective and we're not like, afraid. I wouldn't say we were afraid the first time, but we definitely didn't know what we were doing and leaned on our professional help a lot more. I think now we understand our style as parents and understand how to interact with each other and with the kids. The experience really helps you with the second kid."
In August 2020, the Stephens announced they were growing their family again with the reveal that Chrissy was pregnant with the couple's third child. However, a month later, the couple shared with the world that they suffered a miscarriage, a son whom they had been calling "Jack" since finding out about the pregnancy. Chrissy opened up about her experience in a personal essay.
Bow Wow and His Kids
For most of us, Bow Wow was an important fixture of our childhoods. The rapper and actor has been in the limelight since before he could drive. Bow Wow, who also goes by his real name Shad Moss, revealed back in 2011 that he had had a child with model Joie Chavis. He credits the birth of his daughter for saving his life. In a letter posted to his personal website, he also opened up about his battle with suicidal thoughts for years before the birth of his daughter, Shai Moss.
"For the past 3 years I [been] battling life. Even thought about taking my own. I felt like as a kid i did everything and saw everything too fast which spoiled my adult years. i felt as is I had no purpose to live (Thinking selfishly) until god gave me the illest gift of my life."
In 2018, he admitted in a conversation with The Griothat becoming a father himself helped him learn how to forgive his own father:
"I just wanted him to know I don't hate him. I outgrew that part. Once I had a kid and I've experienced some things with me and my daughter's mom and how we rock, I kinda understood why might have he ran out or why he wasn't around or why he left. There are reasons. My father was an alcoholic. Heavy. I didn't want to be around him when I was young and of course my career took me to other places."
In 2020, Bow Wow confirmed he became a father again, this time to a son with model Olivia Sky. Earlier this year, he finally told the world his son's name, Stone Moss.
Dwyane Wade and His Kids
Former NBA player Dwyane Wade is known for the accolades and legacy he created on the court over the span of his 16-year career. However, in his personal life, the icon has also made some incredible moves as well -- especially in regards to his family life. Although his first marriage to his high school girlfriend didn't work out, the pair's split resulted in him obtaining sole custody of the former couple's two kids, Zaya Wade (formerly Zion) and Zaire Blessing Dwyane Wade. He also raises his nephew.
Although he eventually became romantically involved with actress Gabrielle Union in 2008, the pair split in 2013. At some point during this break, Dwyane fathered a child with Aja Metoyer, a son named Xavier Zechariah Wade. Gabrielle and Dwyane later reconciled and would eventually marry in 2014. He later acknowledged having to admit that he had a child with someone else as one of the hardest things he ever had to tell Gabrielle.
"When you hold something in that you know is going to come out and you have this information and you know it's gonna f**k somebody's life up, that you care about, that you love, if it don't hurt you, then you're not human. Me and Gab just went through something that you never want to go through and we still came out of it."
In 2018, Dwyane welcomed his fourth child and his first child with Gabrielle, a daughter named Kaavia James Wade, via surrogate.
Though Zaya came out as transgender in 2020, Dwyane acknowledged in an interview with Michelle Obama that he and Gabrielle started having conversations about "possibilities" when she was three. Since being a support system for Zaya and her gender transition journey, Dwyane and Gabrielle have both become more impassioned about LGBTQ+ rights and activism. In a recent interview, he shared how raising Zaya has made him a better parent:
"I didn't know anything, really wasn't knowledgeable about the LGBTQ+ community. What it has done is it opened my eyes and my ears to something greater and bigger than I, and my daughter has allowed us gracefully to be her support system."
Bryson Tiller and His Kids
Throughout his career, Bryson Tiller has been able to maintain his self-imposed "shadowy" image as a public figure, preferring not to give video interviews to do just that. Despite not wanting to be too on the scene, the mega-successful trap-soul artist shares a lot about his daddy duties to his daughters on social media.
His oldest daughter, Harley Loraine, is from a previous relationship and was born in 2013. While his youngest daughter, Kelly Jade Tiller, was born in 2019 and his first child with current girlfriend, model Kendra Bailey.
Omarion and His Kids
Omarion is quite possibly the manifestation of unbothered energy, but his children know him affectionately as "Dad." The "Touch" singer, who recently made an appearance in the hit Fox reality TV competition The Masked Singer, has been pulling daddy duty as a father since 2014. And though his tumultous relationship with ex-girlfriend Apryl Jones has made headlines for a plethora of reasons, Omarion has always made it clear that he is all about the kids.
"When I became a father, I think that my understanding of what love was and my connection to that emotion shifted. I saw my children being born and recognizing what they call a miracle."
The former B2K lead singer's son Megaa Omari Grandberry was born in 2014 and his daughter A'mei Kazuko Grandberry was born in 2016.
Russell Wilson and His Kids
If there's one thing for certain and two things for sure, we love us some Ciara and Russell Wilson over here on xoNecole. Something about a man whose actions align with their words is awe-inspiring and aww-inducing. In regards to Russell, what won many of us over was how he regarded Ciara as a partner and her son from a previous relationship as the father he always deserved.
From the very beginning, the Seattle Seahawks quarterback embraced and continues to embrace Future Zahir as his own and it is truly blended family goals. The two made their family of three official in July 2016 when they married in England. And in April 2017, they welcomed their second child and Russell's first, a daughter named Sienna Princess Wilson. In a 2017 interview, he revealed:
"I think more than anything when you see family, have your own family and it continues to grow, you know it's a special thing. I don't just play for my family I've had before, but also my new family. Just playing for the little ones, playing for Ciara too and just playing for my teammates and trying to do everything I can to be the very best I can possibly be. I'm just truly grateful every day to get to come home and it puts a smile on my face every time."
On July 23, 2020, Russell and Ciara welcomed a son (and his mini-me), baby Win Wilson.
P. Diddy and His Kids
P. Diddy might be a bad boy for life, but the title has nothing on his status as a father of six. Also known as Sean Love Combs and Sean John Combs, Diddy is the man worth $740 million with a decades-spanning career that speaks for itself. He is also just as passionate about family life. He had his first child in 1993, a son, Justin Combs, with designer Misa Hylton-Brim.
During his relationship with the late Kim Porter, he adopted Kim's son, Quincy, from a previous relationship with singer Al B. Sure! Together, the on-and-off couple of 13 years had a son, Christian Combs in 1998, as well as twin girls, D'Lila Star Combs and Jessie James Combs in 2006. Months before the twins were born, Diddy welcomed another daughter with a different partner, Sarah Chapman, named Chance Combs. Kim passed away suddenly after complications with pneumonia in 2018.
The multi-hyphenate touched on her passing and his shift in fatherhood in a 2020 conversation with Naomi Campbell:
"Losing Kim [Porter] and now being a single father-of-six, my thinking had to change. I had to really get focused on their futures, 'cause I know how rough it is out there."
Steph Curry and His Kids
Look up the phrase "family man" in the dictionary and we're sure you'll see Stephen "Steph" Curry pop up with his characteristic pretty blues. The legendary athlete has always upheld his Christian faith and family as his foundations. He married his long-time love Ayesha Curry in 2011. On July 19, 2012, they welcomed their oldest daughter Riley Elizabeth Curry. On becoming a parent, Steph had this to say:
"You learn something from them every single day. They give you a reason to wake up in the morning, regardless of whether work is going well or not. Your biggest responsibility, obviously, is being a parent, and it's just so much fun every single day when they change so fast and you're trying to keep up. You get to share so many experiences with them and I'm enjoying every minute of it."
Three years later, they had their second child, another daughter, Ryan Carson Curry. Most recently, they had their third child together, a son named Canon W. Jack Curry on July 4, 2018. In regards to raising a son, he shared:
"Earlier this summer, a few weeks after the season ended, Ayesha and I were blessed with the birth of our third child, Canon ― our first son. And one of the things that has been most on my mind, since then, is the idea of what it means now to raise a boy in this world. I already know, just based on his gender alone, that Canon will probably have advantages in life that his sisters can only dream of. How do you make honest sense of that as a parent? What are the values, in this moment, to instill in a son? It's a lot to think about.
"But in the end ... I think the answer is pretty simple. I think you tell him the same thing that we told those girls last week at our camp: Be yourself. Be good, and try to be great ― but always be yourself. I think you teach him to always stay listening to women, to always stay believing in women, and — when it comes to anyone's expectations for women ― to always stay challenging the idea of what's right. And I think you let him know that, for his generation, to be a true supporter of women's equality ― it's not enough anymore to be learning about it. You have to be doing it."
Featured image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
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From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
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Featured image by Solmaz Saberi
How To Discover What Your Dating Needs Are, According To An Expert
It's no secret that the dating scene is different from our parents' generation, so as a hopeful romantic, many parts of me feel like I was born in the wrong lifetime. My mother often says that she feels like my husband will be a bit older than me; perhaps that was her way of telling me that she hopes I find someone more mature. But these days, between the countless podcasts debating gender roles and discussions online of who brings what to the table, finding your person can feel hopeless.
Still, people are finding love every day, so how can we go from being amongst the brokenhearted and nonbelievers? How can we get to the meat of what our needs truly are to find the love we've been searching for? Beverley Andre, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist says that the key is getting out of your own way.
Q: How can we get in our own way when it comes to relationships?
A: We get in our own way in relationships by having rigid expectations that make it difficult or impossible for someone to meet. I know this is a hot topic regarding having and maintaining standards, but there’s a fine line between reasonable expectations and creating a barrier that is nearly impossible to break through.
You have to assess the standards and see if they are genuinely in protection of you and maintain the standard of how you want to be treated, or are the standards fueled by fear and what you're really trying to do is avoid feeling hurt and disappointed, so you create this cycle where you set impossible standards that no one can meet, therefore limiting the possibility of close intimate relationships, leaving you feeling lonely and frustrated.
Q: In this dating age and era, how can we determine what our needs are versus our wants?
A: Your needs are tied to the core values and belief systems, while the wants are personality and lifestyle considerations, so I recommend creating a list of both. Identify your core values early on because those are your principles and qualities that matter most to you in a relationship. Those values are fundamental to your overall well-being. For example, do you want to be with someone who wants children, has integrity, and aligns on finances? Your values should be your deal-breakers that weed out people who are not in alignment.
For wants, think of physical, personality, and lifestyle traits that aren’t necessarily deal-breakers, aren’t tied to someone’s core traits, and don’t compromise your mental wellness. For instance, enjoying 100% of the same interests, specific physical attributes, and shared cultural background. As an extra measure, I recommend discussing your needs and wants with a trusted inner circle and getting their feedback. An inner circle should give you fair feedback instead of just agreeing with it because they’re within the inner circle.
"Your needs are tied to the core values and belief systems, while the wants are personality and lifestyle considerations."
Q: Are there fundamental needs that everyone should have or has on some level in romantic partnerships?
A: Yes, to be seen and heard. No one wants to be in a romantic partnership where they feel invisible, and their needs are met with consistent resistance just because it’s different from their partner. One of the core issues I see with couples is their inability to make space for their partner’s voice and influence. They find it difficult to see the value in what their partner is saying, especially if it contradicts their thoughts and opinions. Therefore, they register it as not being good enough and lacking merit and then get into a cycle where they inadvertently want their partner to change their minds and prove to them why they have a point.
Q: What are different examples of needs that everyone has?
A: Respect, open communication, similar values, sexual chemistry, and feeling safe emotionally and physically.
Q: How can we get to the meat of what our needs are so we can in turn get better at communicating what our needs are from an empowered place versus a disempowered one?
A: Identify your unmet childhood needs and heal them. I often see people trying to heal these wounds in relationships with people who aren’t responsible for creating them or fixing them. You can communicate your needs from an empowered and healthy place if you’re not starving. Getting to the meat of your needs will require self-exploration, curiosity, and patience to understand why the need is even a need.
"Identify your unmet childhood needs and heal them. You can communicate your needs from an empowered and healthy place if you’re not starving."
Q: What do you find your clients who are succeeding in relationships have done differently in explaining their needs to their partner?
A: They have done the self-work and healing to know their needs through individual and/or couple’s therapy. Most of the clients I’ve worked with never had the space to develop their thoughts around their needs. They’ve adopted their needs based on what they’ve seen in their personal lives from family growing up, movies, and now social media. Until you have a healthy relationship with yourself, where you’ve identified your needs and are meeting them, it isn’t easy to have that with someone else. You can’t communicate and give what you don’t know and have.
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