If you come to check out our site on a semi-consistent basis, you might've caught an article I wrote, back when the weather was much warmer. It was entitled, "8 Summer-Themed Alcoholic Drinks That Can Boost Your Libido". Well, now that it's getting colder by the day, and also since the fall and winter seasons are apparently the best times to engage in some hot 'n steamy copulation (check out "Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?"), it seemed only right that I share some warm drinks that can take your sex drive up a couple of notches too.
So, if you're ready to come in from the freezing weather, so that you can step into a warm room in order to participate in some of the best sex you've had yet, here are eight drinks that can get you to feeling like this truly is the most wonderful time of the year (if you catch my drift).
1. Cinnamon and Coconut Milk
If you're constantly on the hunt for milk alternatives, don't forget to put coconut milk on your list.
Not only is it loaded with antioxidants, it also has a good amount of protein, calcium and potassium in it as well. This is good to know because potassium plays a direct role in increasing male hormone production while regulating our thyroid. Cinnamon is awesome because it's got medicinal properties in it that can help to fight off bacterial and fungal infections. Not only that but, sex-wise, cinnamon is able to increase blood circulation, improve blood vessel dilation (both of those can intensify your orgasms) and increase one's sex drive.
Just add three teaspoons of freshly ground cinnamon to three cups of coconut milk, bring to a boil and then let cool down enough for you and your partner to sip. Feel free to add a little honey if you'd like your drink to taste, just a bit sweeter. This drink will help you to have great sex and some good sleep right after.
2. Blueberry Tea
If you like to snack on blueberries and there's rarely a time when you're not in the mood for sex, it may not be happenstance. The reality is blueberries are high in Vitamin B (which can give you more energy, stabilize your moods and make you more interested in coitus), Vitamin C (which is an antioxidant) and fiber to keep toxins out of your system. Also, when it comes to your libido, blueberries are awesome because they help your body to release the neurotransmitter dopamine, so that you're able to feel great while your partner is able to have longer and stronger erections during, well, you know. #wink
3. Warmed Up Kiwi Sangria
Sangria is a festive drink that hails from Spain and Portugal. While there are all kinds of variations of it, the "foundation" is almost always red wine, chopped fruit and spices of your choosing. Well, a particular fruit that's in season during this time of the year is kiwi. Kiwi contains vitamins C, E and K, as well as folate, potassium and fiber. Because Vitamin C has a great reputation for boosting one's libido and fertility, that's why I found it fitting that hot kiwi sangria would also go on this list. Click here to make your own white kiwi sangria, here to make some delicious strawberry kiwi sangria or here for a spicy sangria recipe. If you bring the ingredients in these recipes to a boil, let them simmer on warm heat and then serve them in a mug with some kiwi and/or orange garnish, you'll enjoy this drink, right down to the very last drop.
4. Hot Cocoa
I don't know a single soul who doesn't dig a cup of hot chocolate (if you're one of 'em, post a comment about why because…what in the world?). As if the taste of chocolate isn't a good enough reason to have some, at least a couple of times a week, during the fall and winter seasons, dark chocolate is pretty impressive when it comes to its health benefits too.
It's also packed with antioxidants as well as magnesium, iron, manganese, copper, potassium, zinc, phosphorus, fiber and selenium. Magnesium makes it easier for testosterone to hit our bloodstream. Zinc is good, when it comes to your sex drive, because it helps men to maintain their libido and, it can actually increase our testosterone levels which can, in turn, make us hornier too. Also, dark chocolate helps us to produce more serotonin (a brain chemical that's connected to sexual arousal) and phenylethylamine (a natural stimulant that actually causes people to feel like they're in love with each other).
All extra bonuses to having some hot cocoa tonight, don't you think?
(A recipe that intrigued me is one that contains vegan "sex dust". Check out the recipe here. Cop some of the all-natural sex dust to put in your cocoa here.)
5. Pumpkin Latte
Pumpkin contains quite a few goodies—protein, fiber, vitamins B2, C and E, potassium, copper and iron too. Where pumpkin is really off the charts is when it comes to Vitamin A; it's got around 245 percent of the Reference Daily Intake that your body needs. That's important to know because Vitamin A is what male and female sex hormones both need in order to remain healthy and strong. Another great thing about pumpkin is it's full of zinc. So, if you want to entice your partner with some homemade pumpkin spice latte, there's an easy to make recipe here.
6. Warm Canelazo
Whenever I pen a food or drink article, I try and throw in something that makes you say "what is that?", just to bring something new into the content. Today, it's a traditionally spicy hot drink from Ecuador called Canelazo. While the name might sound super exotic, this is a drink that's really easy to make. All you need is some sugar (preferably panela which is a form of organic raw cane sugar), some cinnamon sticks, some Aguardiente (which is anise-flavored liqueur) and some water. We already touched on what cinnamon does and if you add liquor to that? How can Canelazo not be a sex party in a mug? (Click here for an alcoholic and non-alcoholic recipe. To warm it up, apply the same tips that I offered in the sangria recipe).
7. Mulled Wine
If you've heard of mulled wine before but you're not exactly sure what it is, it's red wine that has spices in it. This alcoholic drink makes this particular list because you're able to serve it warm or cold (it really is very good when it's hot, by the way).
Red wine is a fan favorite on this platform because it contains antioxidants that are able to lower cholesterol levels, strengthen the heart, regulate blood sugar levels, reduce depression-related symptoms—all of which play a significant role in keeping our libidos intact. Plus, it's proven to be able to significantly increase our sex drive after just one glass.
All you need is some red wine, cinnamon and a few cloves (they are nerve stimulants that can also give you more energy) and you're all set (check out a great recipe for mulled wine here).
8. Coffee
I'm not sure if there will ever be a less controversial hot drink than coffee. The reason why I say that is because it comes with about as many risks as benefits. Today, let's just focus on the benefits, though. Reportedly, coffee is able to burn fat, increase energy levels, improve physical performance, fight depression-related symptoms and even reduce death risks by almost 30 percent (in women; 20 percent in men). As far as sex goes, there are solid studies citing that the caffeine in coffee not only provides us with stamina to have sex but it can make females specifically crave more coitus too. So, if java on a snowy day is your thing, make sure to make an extra cup tonight. Umm, you already know why, right? Exactly.
Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- A Guide Of Herbs To Use In The Winter - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- 10 Slow Cooker Soup Recipes That Are Perfect For Winter ... ›
- 10 Healthy Fall-Themed Comfort Food Meals - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- 10 Hot Drinks To Keep You Warm This Fall & Winter ›
- 12 Warm Drinks: To Sleep At Night, Promote Good Sleep - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- Sober Night Cap? Non-Alcoholic Wines Sprits Alternatives - xoNecole ›
RELATED
Though we sang along with India.Arie, as she serenaded us with her classic “I Am Not My Hair,” Black women’s hair is indeed a statement of who they choose to be when they show up in the world each day. Valencia Carillo of Perfect Hair says, “We like to say we aren't our hair, but we also are. It changes how we feel and how we view ourselves.”
There are many reasons Black women choose protective styles such as braids, twists, and wigs as their go-to styles for everyday life.
“I wear protective styles because it's not only convenient to manage, but I love it," shares Bobbie Riley, celebrity hair and makeup artist. As a Black woman who is constantly on various sets throughout Los Angeles, I’m always aware of my hair and the lack of knowledge some have about it. I want to feel confident when doing shoots, but know there’s always a chance that the HMU on set won’t be prepared to style me accordingly. This is why I choose protective styles so frequently when shooting. However, when I’m not booked, I enjoy having my natural hair free.
Today, more Black women are embracing their natural hair and protective styles while pushing boundaries they wouldn’t have been able to less than a decade ago. Abena Afrane, a licensed celebrity cosmetologist, says, “There's a noticeable shift, even among news anchors, who now confidently wear hairstyles like braids on TV.” Yet, even with this shift, a new conversation is emerging about Black women and protective styles.
Though we see many Black women wearing their natural hair publicly, there is also a new lingering question, “Is Black women’s ‘reliance’ on protective styles simply another way we’ve found to hide a piece of ourselves in order to be deemed more presentable?”
The truth of it all lies somewhere much deeper than that.
The History of Hair Discrimination
To fully understand where the stigma and desire to assimilate comes from, we have to venture to the origin of hair discrimination in America. Black women’s hair has been used as a weapon against them since the inception of this country. The coils of our hair are one of the most prominent features that distinguishes Black people from other races, and because of this, it’s been used to make us feel inferior.
One example of this would be the origins of the term “nappy.” It’s believed that the origin of the term comes from the word nap, which described the frizzled thread that came apart from a piece of fabric. The term “nappy” was used to describe African slaves’ hair to demean and dehumanize them.
Likewise, because of the intricate braiding styles and designs our ancestors brought to America from the continent, Black women were often forced to hide their hair. This was used as a tool to shame Black women, create a racial hierarchy, and hide our culture.
An example of this was the Tignon Laws of 1786. When the Spanish took control of Louisiana, there was a population of free Black people living in the state. To display a cultural hierarchy, the governor mandated that free Black women wear tignon, head scarves historically worn by slaves, as a means to display their inferiority to white women.
Cabinet Card of Sarah Ann Blunt Crozley wearing a tignon in the 1800s.
Heritage Art/Heritage Images via Getty Images
Though they complied, they began to use them not only as a fashion statement, making them out of colorful and expensive fabrics and adding feathers and jewels to them, but also as a means of rebellion against their colonial ruling powers.
As time went on, Black women began to attempt to assimilate into white culture by straightening their hair. The famous Madame C.J. Walker made her fortune helping Black women manage and permanently straighten their hair. Though Walker’s business thrived and enabled other Black women to build wealth, today, many Black women are moving away from relaxers and consistently straightening their hair.
Black women are now embracing their natural hair with each passing year, but this emergence of unapologetic Blackness is often met with pushback.
Where Do Protective Styles Come From?
Protective styles are not a new phenomenon within the Black community or our African ancestry. The texture of most Black women’s hair easily gets tangled and knotted and can succumb to breakage if not well cared for properly. This reality has led centuries of Black women to find ways to protect and maintain their crowns. There are Stone Age paintings dating back to 3000 BC of North African women wearing braids in their hair.
What we call cornrows – named by enslaved Africans in the American South because they looked like rows of corn – are also known as irun didi by Yoruba people. The intricate nature of this style was not only practical but easier to maintain for an extended amount of time.
Similarly, Fulani braids – named after the Fulani people of West Africa – were used as a symbol of a woman’s marital status, career, or socio-economic class in pre-slave trade Africa. Likewise, Bantu knots – named after the Bantu group of the Zulu people – were used as a heatless curling technique for Black women centuries before it gained popularity in mainstream America.
Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
As chronicled in Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America by Ayana D. Byrd and Lori L. Tharps, the everchanging and cyclical relationship Black people have with their hair is often a reflection of their desire for freedom or connection to their ancestral roots. Growing up in the 90s, braids, twists, ponytails, wigs, etc. were commonplace in my and my mother’s friend groups.
Black women looking for ways to manage and care for their hair isn’t a new concept, but protective styles transition into the mainstream arena has created new conversations centered around whether Black women are using it as a mechanism to hide their natural hair.
Instead of acknowledging that Black women are becoming more comfortable with embracing themselves and their heritage, their choice of hairstyle is yet another sector where individuals have been allowed to over-police and analyze them.
Hair Discrimination Today
Global Head of DEI for Ferguson Partners Dionna Johnson Sallis admits she has experienced and witnessed hair discrimination towards Black women multiple times during her 13-year tenure in corporate America. She says, “wearing straight wigs or getting sew-ins that mirror the Eurocentric form of beauty can be a form of fitting in.” Sallis continues, “But I think many of us lean toward the more Afrocentric forms of a protective styling such as braids, twists, faux locs, and things that are more textured.”
I agree with Sallis and often use protective styles that still fully display my “Blackness,” because my goal is never to make any believe I’m ashamed of my culture or ancestry. However, there was a time when wearing my natural hair to work, whether it be in front of or behind the camera, was seen as unkempt or unprofessional.
I was told to make sure my hair was “neat” when I came into the office or was a prominent topic of discussion whenever I wore my fro out.
Luckily, I have always had older Black women around to remind my white coworkers not to touch my hair or make a big deal out of a new style I had. Nonetheless, these constant microaggressions can weigh on a person while begging the question: “Should I just cover my natural hair so they’ll shut up already?”
Sallis believes experiences like the ones I describe are less prominent today; “Because of the CROWN Act, it is made it more difficult to be discriminated against because there is a very blatant law in place to prevent this discrimination and microaggressions compared to 10 or 15 years ago.”
Strides like these have come as a result of Black women mobilizing to pursue true equity for themselves and future generations. Afrane adds, “I've observed a significant change where we're boldly advocating for equality and inclusivity in professional spaces. It's inspiring to witness us standing up and speaking out for ourselves.”
Black Women’s Rights to Their Individuality
Depending on what your daily life looks like, protective styles can be an easy way to manage and maintain your natural hair in a healthy manner. Carillo has been doing my protective styles for years, and we often talk about our busy lives managing businesses, being mothers, and still wanting to feel like ourselves. Like many Black women, we use our hair as a form of expression and style. Carillo says, “At the end of it all, I think most Black women choose what we want and what makes us feel good.” Afrane agrees, “It feels like we're collectively embracing hairstyles that bring us joy and align with our lifestyles.”
Though there will always be podcast conversations on whether or not natural hair is appropriate for formal events and people trying to create a divide between Black women who mainly wear weave and wigs versus the ones who wear their afro regularly, the one consensus I found among the women I interviewed is there is some level of awareness, whether positive or negative, Black women experience in relationship to their hair and how others perceive them.
Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
Riley shared a recent experience on set with one of her clients where the brand wanted a fiber fill to give her client a more “hair-like look.” Riley and her client both agreed it wasn’t the direction they wanted to go and continued with their original aesthetic for the shoot. “I loved her facial structure and her hair how it was, and I wanted her to feel just as beautiful embracing it,” Riley says.
Carillo adds, “Insecurities are real, and while we love to do what we need to for us, I'd be lying to say some women don't consider what others think.”
As we all know, existing in the intersectionality of Black womanhood comes with a slew of challenges, disparities, and dangers. However, just as the women of Louisiana in 1786 used their tignons as a form of expression, creativity, and rebellion, Black women today embrace our crowns the same way. One of the greatest joys many of us experience as Black women are switching up our hairstyles to match our mood, occasion, or season.
We find liberation in changing our styles to express who we are in the current moment we’re existing in. Though there are some who may use protective styles as a means to assimilate into Eurocentric culture, far more of us change our hairstyles to match our vibe. Afrane says, “The joy lies in the freedom to explore various looks, and it feels like we're collectively embracing hairstyles that bring us joy.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
Originally published on February 27, 2024