OK so boom, I like to masturbate. Whether I'm single or not, I make masturbation a part of my sexual self-care routine. However, I know the topic of masturbating can still be uncomfortable for a lot of women. Aside from pleasure, masturbation is an enjoyable experience that any woman should take pride and confidence in with herself. It is a profound way to practice self-exploration and self-discovery. Masturbation gives you the keys to understanding what you like to do and what you like to be done to you.
If you find yourself intrigued by sex and masturbation, but don't know where to start, a dope resource is the Instagram account Sexual Essentials. On it, you can learn essential sex tips (including solo sex) and access classes that help you reach your climax like hands-on masturbation, squirting 101, foreplay, and vaginal orgasms, to name a few. For any woman looking for the best tips and toys to use for solo sex, the founder and sex educator behind Sexual Essentials, Samia Burton, is a vessel of knowledge.
"I realized the first time I had successful masturbation, I never had a real orgasm and I was disappointed," she revealed. "After I got into masturbation, I started playing with certain things and it was just easier. You can tell someone, 'Hey do this,' because you felt it before. That matters!"
For women who struggle with having orgasms during sex, indulging in solo sex can be a powerful tool in getting into the flow of sex and taking control of your vagina. The end result could make it easier to achieve orgasm through sex. Samia explained,
"A lot of people don't understand orgasms are like muscle memory, so the more you orgasm the easier it will be to have another one. Also, the more you orgasm, the more you will wake the vaginal area up. Masturbation bought my sex life back and I had stronger orgasms after, but it took work."
When it comes to the work Samia speaks of, the sex toy you use matters. You need the right toy to give you the feeling and the climax you want to reach. I would just pick up a vibrator and go because I know that as long as my clit was stimulated I was good, but Samia quickly let me know that the right toy makes a difference during your solo sex sessions. As we get through this list, remember to keep an open mind and eventually open legs…
With that being said, here are the best toys for solo sex.
Satisfyer Pro Traveler Clitoral Stimulator
Satisfyer Pro
This is a travel-friendly clitoral stimulator with 11 speeds and a circular suction tip settles easily into place over your clit to help suck and throb when you're ready.
Pipe Dream’s Icicle dildo #55
Pipe Dream
The long and sleek double-ended dildo offers two oppositely-angled tips and a shaft-like texture for each. It's curved into nubs and swirls to give you a real dick-like feel while hitting that G-spot. Tip: make sure you're getting #55, that's the one you really want.
Basix Dildo w/ Suction Cup
This is another hands-free option with harness compatibility, suction-based Basix dildo from the Rubber Works collection. The 6.5 Inch Basix is made from a jelly rubber that's latex and flexible enough to get the perfect positioning, but firm enough to satisfy.
Fantasy For Her Ultimate Pleasure Clitoral Pump
Fantasy For Her
This toy has me the most intrigued. Not only is it a clitoral pump, but it actually has a tongue-like stimulator that's soft and temperature-sensitive. It licks and gyrates tirelessly which makes it perfect for your clit, nipples, and anywhere else you'd like. On the other end, there's a G-spot-loving silicone portion with 10 modes of vibration. Lastly, it comes with two suctions so you can attach it to the wall and really turn sh*t up.
Lubricant
This is not a sex toy per se, but necessary in the bedroom especially for solo sex. Samia recommends keeping some in your bedside drawer. Some good brands for lubricants are Astroglide and K-Y Jelly. You can also check out our cheat sheet for everything you need to know about using lubricants.
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Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
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My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
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Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
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The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
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The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
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The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
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