If you don't know by now, the xoNecole squad is all for sex positivity, embracing our essence as sexual beings, and staying on top of the game when it comes to living our best sexual lives. Click on any of our sex articles and you'll quickly glean what all of the hype is about. As women, it's an important conversation to own and take pride in, but as a black woman, pleasure principles are championed harder because of how much taboo around sexuality is so deeply rooted in our community.
With every article published, xoNecole seeks to empower our readers with knowledge and confidence that they are not alone in this sexual reawakening we're experiencing where we dust off the shackles of stereotypes like Jezebel and the oh-too-tired "hoe" label in lieu of stepping into the fully realized identity of the divine feminine. We own our womanhood in all of its feminine, sensual, sexual glory as well as having a pleasure-filled life; whether we're abstinent and waiting for our husbands, single and dipping and dabbling, or married and wanting to perfect the ride every night as we put that asssss on it *in my Beyonce voice*.
We prioritize orgasms and sex positions galore. And our numbers don't lie, you guys do too. In case you missed it, below are the 10 sex articles that you loved in 2019. Read them, apply them, and repeat.
In the infamous words of writer Taylor Honore, "A back-shot a day will bring plenty of orgasms your way" and I have to say, I agree! Unlike "8 Wild Ways To Doggy Style In Style", "6 Oral Sex Positions That Will Elevate You Even When You're On Your Knees", or "4 Hit It From The Back Moves Bound To Get You To Orgasm", Taylor's take differed because it didn't focus on variations of one main position. Instead, it offered sex positions that were further from the norm. From the Wanton Wheelbarrow to The Fall Of Man, there's a little something to add spice to anyone's sex life.
Not going to lie, I'm definitely one of those women Shellie R. Warren references in this article who would tell herself having an orgasm wasn't a big deal. I think to some extent, it was because I could always give myself orgasms and the journey was more important and pleasurable to me than the final destination. However, when I had my first orgasm during sex (albeit it was vaginal, but still), my whole perspective of how I felt about orgasms during sex changed. But there are a lot of women that fall into the 10-15 percent of women who don't orgasm consistently. And I'm sure a lot of them would LOVE to have one. If you can relate, these 10 questions can get you closer to your peak.
Oral sex is a game best enjoyed when both players are eager participants on the court. Shellie R. Warren is a master when it comes to sex tips and tricks and what I love most about her pieces are that they often stem from conversations she's had with married couples in her sessions as a marriage life coach. The subject of this article is no different. And with tips that range from buying an Ora 2 and investing in revealing your deepest oral sex fantasies, she's got you more than covered on the oral sex game tip.
If you don't know, now you know. Sex is a complex, intricate act that we often treat too casually. How can anything so spiritually, emotionally, and physically impactful be diminished to a surface of two pumps and we're out? In this article, Shellie R. Warren schools us in how the miseducation surrounding sex can be corrected with knowledge and information. When you're well-equipped with knowledge, the whole game changes. Well beautiful people, class is now in session.
One of the things I've always loved about being a woman is the level of exploration that comes with our bodies and discovering what feels good. When it comes to coming, many of us have found and mastered clitoral orgasms, especially ones derived from self-pleasure. And while vaginal orgasms might feel more elusive to most women, you might be surprised to learn that orgasms don't have to be either or, they can be blended too. When you have an orgasm, you sometimes don't believe it can get any more intense than it already is, but it does. And it can. A sex therapist weighs in on how to have a blended orgasm in this piece penned by me.
Y'all thought I was cappin' when I said we prioritze orgasms on xoNecole but maybe this piece by Shellie R. Warren will bring that adage of ours on home. Did you know there's a National Orgasm Day? I sure as hell didn't. Shellie chose to commemorate this day by paying homage to the thing we crave most: Orgasms and lots of them. On July 31, and every day really, spell coconut with your hips or any of the other tips mentioned on this list. Don't say we didn't warn you.
We'd be remiss not to mention that as much as we adore our ladies, we value a male opinion. It's the reason that despite being a women's digital destination, we also have recurring series like XOMan (check out this one with artist Jayson Aaron or this one with actor Rome Flynn if you haven't already) and Man Crave where we specifically talk to men about their take on love and relationships. In this article, Shellie R. Warren speaks to 10 men in her life about the things that turn them on about black women. And yes lawd, it's life-giving.
Shellie R. Warren kicks off this piece with a shocking discovery that unfortunately sets the tone for a lot of sexless marriages these days: 48% of couples have sex the same day they say "I do". Wow, just wow. For those of y'all who are married and downplay TF out of sex in your marital union, Shellie provides a 10-reason breakdown why consistent sex should be an absolute non-negotiable in your marriage. And as a marriage life coach, she knows a thing or two about what keeps a couple together (and what makes them fall apart). Hint: Sex or lack thereof is a part of that.
It's too big, it's too wide, it's too strong, it won't fit. It's tew much. But that doesn't stop us from wanting to try to take the D, no matter how much wincing or hand placement against his thigh to prevent him from going deep that you try to do. Lawd. As writer Kiarra Sylvester says in her opening paragraph, "Big dick isn't for everyone." However, if you're in love with the man despite the fact that you run from it on occassion because that cervix hit is something else, here's an article for you. PS - More power to you, sis! You got this!
Evelyn Lozada/InstagramTaylor Honore
Piggy-backing off of my earlier statement about our website and specifically my intention as the Managing Editor, I think it's important to highlight different stories to touch on every woman's experience. So, while we had hella sex stories about sex and actively having it, we have stories that embrace a woman's decision to engage in seasons of sexlessness for whatever reason that may be. At the top of my mind, there's "I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.", "I Chose Abstinence When I No Longer Felt Fulfilled By Casual Sex", "Reclaiming My Power: Why I'm Saying 'No' To Sex", and "I'm Single, Saved, Celibate & I Want To Have Sex". Taylor Honore penned this particular piece about Evelyn Lozada after the reality star revealed how broken casual sex has been making her feel and her decision to get baptized and swear off premarital sex for good.
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