

If you're anything like me, you probably have a pretty intense love/hate relationship with your period. On one hand, you know it's something that women do so, every time yours rolls around, it's a reminder that our bodies are working just as they should be. On the other, ugh—there's the bloating, the cramping, the semi-paranoia that you're leaking, and (what really gets on my last nerve), the period pimples that almost always leave some sort of mark behind.
Even though I'm almost 45, my periods are still something I can set my watch to—the 21st, sometime around noon. I'm gonna be bloated, there's gonna be a zit in the most inconvenient place on my face, and my first two days are gonna be so heavy that sticking close to home is wise. Lord.
The silver lining is, as I have figured out what to expect (and endure) about my cycle, I've also discovered that the following 10 hacks have a way of making everything about my period a lot more pleasant than they used to be. Thank goodness for that!
Download a Period App
While a lot of people are down for using a period app when they're trying to conceive, some folks sleep on also using them if they're not. Since most physicians agree that a woman can get pregnant five days a month (4-5 days going into ovulation and about a day afterward), if you're sexually-active, you need to keep up with when those days are. If your period is not regulated, your ovulation could be all over the place.
Just so you can actually smile when you see a plus sign on a pregnancy test,download a period app. That way, you can know when it's a good idea to take extra special precautions when it comes to gettin' some so that getting pregnant isn't something that catches you off guard in the not-so-good kind of way.
Buy Some Organic Tampons and Pads
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Personally, I prefer pads. I'm pretty sure a lot of it has to do with being taught that blood is designed to flow out and pads make that possible. Not to say that I don't totally get the convenience of wearing tampons (especially as it relates to the non-squishy factor). Either way, it's best to go with organic brands for both. Not only are they hypoallergenic but since they're biodegradable, they're good for the environment too.
Try a Pair of Period Panties
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This is how old I am. When I got my first period (at 12), sanitary napkins still came with the belt that you had to wear around your waist. I was a couple of years older before I started wearing the self-adhesive kind. My point? Every time something new comes out as it relates to our menstrual cycle, we're gonna be skeptics, at first. That's why I totally get that you might turn up your nose at any pair of underwear that professes to hold two tampons-worth of blood, but that's just what Thinx panties do.
Personally, I think they're best for light days or when you need some extra back-up for your tampons or pads on heavy ones or when you want to sleep overnight in peace. While they're not the cheapest drawers on the planet (between $24-38 based on the style of panties you want), to know that you can toss all of your period panties away and reuse your Thinx makes it well worth the price tag (to me).
Invest in a Menstrual Cup
Something that is proven to make menstrual cramps so much easier to bear is having sex; more specifically, having orgasms from sex. The oxytocin that's produced from them helps to relieve uterine pain and discomfort.
That said, if you and/or your partner cringe at the sight of blood, consider using a menstrual cup or, my personal favorite, menstrual disc. Someone convinced me to give the disc a try and I must say that it was remarkable to not see or even feel any blood the entire time it was in there. Well…that is until it's time to take the disc or cup out. Then it's a bit like a murder scene.
However, women have told me that they've had sex and not even told their man they were on their period, thanks to the cup/disc, so…that makes all of the blood fingers worth it. Right? (If you wanna figure out, which cup is best for you, take a quiz here.)
Pay Attention to Your Blood’s Color
Just like your vaginal discharge can tell you a lot about your health, so can the color of your menstrual blood. Bright red is the color of new blood. Dark red is the color of blood that comes out in the morning time. Brownish red is old blood (typically what you'll see towards the end of your cycle). Pinkish red is usually what happens when you're spotting (although it can also be a sign that you are vitamin deficient). Orange-red is somewhat OK, but if the texture and scent are also different, see your doctor. It could be a sign that you've got an STD. And finally, if your blood happens to have a blue or purple tint, that tends to mean that your estrogen levels are higher than normal and you need more fiber in your system to balance them out.
Take Some Evening Primrose Oil, Calcium and Vitamin E
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Something that has totally changed my life is evening primrose oil. It's a gamma-linolenic acid that contains anti-inflammatory properties that decrease PMS symptoms and perimenopause and menopause symptoms too. Since I've added it to my daily diet, I've had very little breast tenderness and no cramping discomfort at all.
As far as calcium goes, a lot of women have PMS symptoms simply because they are low in it. But if you take around 500 mg a day, it can reduce fatigue, cravings, and even feelings of depression. Personally, I prefer taking a calcium, magnesium, and zinc blend because the combo also calms my nervous system and helps me to sleep more soundly.
Vitamin E is cool because it slows down prostaglandins (compounds in the body that create hormone-like effects). As a result, cramps decrease significantly so. Foods that are high in Vitamin E include almonds, spinach, sunflower seeds, avocados, and mangoes.
Just make sure to consume these things throughout the entire month. You need a while to get it totally into your system in order for them to be the most effective.
Use Geranium Essential Oil
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Whether you're looking to regulate your period or to decrease the amount of cramping that you feel, it's well worth the money to pick up a bottle of geranium oil. It's great because it helps to balance out your hormones. This is also the kind of oil that regulates your blood flow by constricting your blood vessels. Plus, it contains anti-inflammatory properties to relieve cramping and discomfort.
Usage tip: It's most effective if you add 3-4 drops of it into a carrier oil like sweet almond, avocado, or grapeseed and then rub your abdomen area with it, 2-3 times per day, during your period.
Eat Toast and Melons. Don’t Eat Dairy and Sugar.
It's pretty common to experience cravings while you're on your period. Just keep in mind that what you eat will determine a lot about how good or bad you'll feel until your cycle is over.
Foods that make the thumbs up list include toast and melons. Whole grain toast, because your body needs carbs during this time and it's a complex one that's better for you than cake or cookies. Also, whole grains produce serotonin in the body which soothes and relaxes you (which is why whole grain popcorn is a great "period food" too). Melons are beneficial because they contain something known as Cucumis melo; that's relevant because, in the days leading up to your period, your body stores up salt and fluids. Cucumis melo is a compound that flushes unneeded water from your system so that you have less bloating.
Foods that get the thumbs down? One of them is dairy. That's because it contains arachidonic acids. What those end up doing is triggering your prostaglandins in your body and increasing the intensity of your cramps. Another no-no is sugar. Yes, you may crave it, but it's a substance that will send your blood sugar levels on the kind of roller coaster ride that will throw your testosterone and estrogen levels completely off. In fact, a lot of women's mood swings during PMS can be directly attributed to them giving into their sugar cravings.
Don’t Drink Coffee. Do Drink Peppermint Tea.
No matter how much you love a piping cup of java in the morning, in the days leading up to your period and until it ends, try your best to go without it (or, at the very least, drink some decaf). The caffeine that's in coffee naturally causes your blood vessels to constrict. When that happens, your cramps feel stronger and can even last longer.
Instead, opt for some herbal tea; preferably peppermint tea. The antioxidants in it will make PMS symptoms like bloating and fatigue less of an issue. Plus, the menthol and anti-spasmodic properties that are found in peppermint leaves will provide a cooling effect on your reproductive system while lessening your cramps simultaneously.
Take a Nap
If you're someone who feels severely sleep-deprived during your period, you are not alone. Reportedly, 23 percent of women claim to not get enough z-z-z's the week before their period and 30 percent claim to toss and turn during the week of their cycle.
Aside from the fact that power naps increase productivity and creativity, reduce stress, and betters your mood, it can also relax your reproductive system so that your period doesn't drain you quite so much.
You can take advantage of all of these benefits by laying your head down for 10-15 minutes. Definitely something to think about when you're trying to decide between taking a nap in your car or going to the closest drive-thru on your lunch break.
(Hint, the nap is your better bet!)
Take care of you; especially during that time of the month, OK?
Featured image by Megan Madden / Refinery29 for Getty Images
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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