8 Last-Minute Gift Ideas For The Special Men In Your Life
'Tis the season of gift giving and I can hardly believe we are at the end of 2020. Although the holidays are meant to be filled with joy, they can be a major headache when it comes to finding the perfect gifts for the most important people in my life. While I typically struggle with gift giving, I've always found it especially difficult selecting a practical yet clever gift particularly for the men in my life that fully expresses my love and admiration.
While men are known to be pretty straightforward when it comes to their needs, I turned to a close male friend for advice on the best gift ideas for men this year. As it goes, it's the thought that counts, however it's the obsessive control freak in me wanting to make sure no man is left behind during the holiday season. This list guarantees the men you love so dearly will be on the receiving end of a thoughtful gift they'll cherish from now through 2021.
The Forest Green Alias Sweatsuit By Daily Paper
For the majority of 2020, fashion has evolved into comfort and practicality. A matching sweatsuit is perfect for every man, young and old. Daily Paper is a black-owned fashion and lifestyle brand fueled by the rich heritage of African culture wrapped in contemporary designs perfect for the strong men in our lives.
Classic Sneakers By New Balance
Pro tip, sneakers are always a good idea! A clean active style perfectly paired with cool and casual looks for everyday wear I'm told is much appreciated. Budget-friendly, New Balance sneakers won't break the bank while a perfect fit for a cool classic look.
Backpack By Made Leather Co
Although we're not traveling or moving around town as much as we used to, you can't go wrong with gifting a quality backpack created with top notch materials and detailed designs. Stylish and sleek, a backpack of this nature has unlimited uses for the man on the go. Black-owned travel brand, Made Leather Co, offers a great selection of handcrafted leather goods for your holiday needs.
Puffer Coat By Cold Laundry
As we're heading into the winter season, a puffer coat is high on the list of essentials. Prepare your man to brace the cold in style with this coat by black-owned clothing brand, Cold Laundry. This particular coat is also unisex which is perfect for #couplegoals.
Natural Hair Care By Twist It Up
The hair care industry may not be as big for men as it is for women but there are tools that can make life a lot easier when it comes to taking care of Afro-centric hair for men. The Twist It Up Comb is a natural hair brand owned by famous millionaire shark Daymond John that's not only for the culture but has a heartfelt dedication to helping those in need by providing to the homeless using proceeds from every purchase. This company is dedicated to embracing the power within while standing together in unity wearing our natural hair proudly.
Shaving Kit By Bevel
A staple every man needs in their life, a shaving kit designed specifically for coarse and curly hair as well as sensitive skin is as thoughtful as it gets. Made to solve problems for men of color by men of color, Bevel is a top of the line grooming company with a product line made specifically with your man in mind. A holiday shaving kit is the perfect introduction to getting your man's skincare game right this holiday season.
Food Delivery By HelloFresh
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, which is the perfect reason to buy him a subscription to a home delivery food service this holiday season. With the uncertainty we face with the on-going pandemic, this thoughtful gift helps keep him safe by making sure his food is delivered straight to his door.
Adding Books To The Collection
"Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today." - Malcolm X
This year looks a lot different than what we're used to as we've been spending a lot more time indoors and finding creative ways to keep ourselves occupied. Books are a great alternative to Netflix while filling our minds with more information than we get from watching television. The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley, is a great read for men looking for inspiration from one of the greatest historical leaders and activists while going through the current challenges we're facing today.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images