This article is in partnership with Hallmark Channel's Countdown to Christmas.
As we move into the year of 2021, it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas… and a time for some self-reflection. We think about our professional accomplishments, how we have personally grown over time, and even the evolution of our love stories. Whether it was the one that got away, the unexpected soulmate, or even the successful self-love story that took root from heartache. We have all experienced these kinds of moments and it is inevitable to think of "what if" and how our lives would be different. If you have been feeling more reflective lately, what you are about to read next will definitely spark your interest. As a part of Hallmark Channel's Countdown to Christmas, the forthcoming film, Christmas Comes Twice, is all about a time for reflection and learning about the possibilities of how a love story could be.
Christmas Comes Twicepremieres this Sunday, December 13 at 8pm/7c. The film stars Tamera Mowry-Housley playing the lead role as Cheryl Jenkins and Michael Xavier playing her love interest, George. Cheryl (Mowry-Housley) is an astrophysicist who has achieved her career dreams but finds herself wishing she made different choices. When the Christmas carnival comes to town, a ride around the carousel takes her magically back in time to the carnival five years earlier, giving her a second chance at a life she didn't know she needed before she must return to Christmas present. Though she didnt' expect to fall for her then-"frenemy" George (Xavier), she finds herself falling for him and finding an unexpected love in the process. We are all the culmination of our choices. This film gives you the chance to travel back in time and answers that "what if" question I mentioned earlier.
I am sure that the "what if" question has popped up for this couple during this holiday season. xoNecole's Social Media Manager, Ashleigh Hardin-Jones, and her partner Adrian Goodman have been staying strong and supportive of one another throughout their 13-year relationship. These high school sweethearts didn't start off with the typical boy meets girl meet-cute, but you could only imagine if things did not happen the way they did, how things would be different for them.
In this installment of xoNecole's How We Met, we were able to talk with our social media manger and her accounting specialist partner on how their love story started and how they have grown more in love with each other over time.
How They Met
Adrian: The courtship happened by accidental purpose. A situation with Ashleigh and another guy, who we both had a class with, went sour. I was asked by the guy to figure out why since me and Ashleigh had classes together. At this time, I had known for a couple years that I liked Ashleigh but she was not interested in me. Even though I felt how I felt, I put my feelings aside to do what was asked of me. We would talk about the situation during school as I played messenger back and forth. Until one day, she gave me her number and told me to call her after school. I called that same day and during our first conversation, it switched from the task at hand to friends talking, then rapidly progressed from every conversation after that point. I think we both mutually initiated and agreed on how our relationship would progress.
Ashleigh: Like Adrian said, it was an accident that I never saw happening. I thank the guy who pissed me off though because there's no way we would be at this point without that situation going wrong. Sometimes a closed door leads to a beautiful beginning.
Courtesy of Ashleigh & Adrian
Making It Official
Ashleigh: My attraction to Adrian developed over the course of a month. So I actually wasn't sure right away. I knew I liked him and I knew we had so much in common. But I was still undecided. But there was an incident where my ex called him cursing him out and telling him things about me that were untrue and I just remember being so scared that he would never talk to me again. I was in tears. That was the moment I knew I really wanted to be with him.
Adrian: After getting to know her better, it was a no-brainer for me to commit to a relationship. We have a lot in common and it made the decision easier. This happened during our 12th grade year in high school.
The "L" Word
Ashleigh: We got into an argument our freshman year of college that caused him to storm out of my dorm room. He was pissed! He's such a nice quiet guy that it's rare to see him really angry like that (I've only seen it two other times in the 13 years I've known him). I sat on my bed contemplating whether or not I cared and out of nowhere I started having what I now know is a panic attack and I burst into tears. I hopped up and ran down five flights of stairs, and out of my dorm building down the street to a bus stop where he was waiting on the bus. I was out of breath and was telling him I was so sorry. After we hugged it out and he apologized too, we realized I had no shoes on. That was love because running outside with no shoes is a no for me.
Adrian: It was this unexplainable feeling that I had never felt before. I was always thinking about her and considering how everything I did may impact her.
"It was this unexplainable feeling that I had never felt before. I was always thinking about her and considering how everything I did may impact her."
Ashleigh: I've learned how to be self-less. This journey with him has taught me that love does not come with conditions. You have to be willing to compromise, not only for the sake of the other person but for the success of the relationship as a whole. I have also learned that while receiving compliments from your partner is extremely important, the greatest compliment comes from yourself. I spent so much time growing up looking for other people, specifically men, to fill my cup but loving him has taught me that if I don't fill my own cup first — it will always be half-empty.
Adrian: I learned that the way you love is not a one size fits all but more of a unique tailored experience. I had to learn to let go of things that may have worked for my parents that may not work for us and also sometimes to do more than my parents may or may not have done. It's OK to treat yourself and not feel guilty about it. I used to think once we became one that we had to do everything together. It's OK for each of us to have time to ourselves or our own hobbies.
"This journey with him has taught me that love does not come with conditions. You have to be willing to compromise, not only for the sake of the other person but for the success of the relationship as a whole. I spent so much time growing up looking for other people, specifically men, to fill my cup but loving him has taught me that if I don't fill my own cup first — it will always be half-empty."
Ashleigh: Together, I believe our biggest challenge is overcoming my infidelity. It happened years ago but it still lingers because I broke the trust he had in me. Trying to win back trust is one of the hardest things because it's not an easy fix, there's no guidebook or tips on how to make someone feel secure — so you have to have patience and hope that they will trust you to not break their heart again.
Adrian: My biggest challenge independently is being more emotionally present and available. It has been the hardest thing since I have been programmed for years to not show any emotions. The biggest challenge together has been both having a child a little over a year into our relationship and infidelity not on my part. Having a child that early was not in our plan but we both managed to graduate from college. The infidelity piece is still hard for me because I do not feel that the problems we were having in our relationship at that time warranted this response. I wouldn't have taken this route. I do understand it's not for me to decide how someone will react in certain situations and that is why it has been challenging. We are in a better place and working towards a common goal.
Ashleigh: I had a lot of baggage from my past. In the beginning, I spent a lot of time blaming him because of my trauma. I realized that he wasn't my ex and I was being unfair by assuming that all men are the same. My weakness coming into this relationship was bad financial habits. My parents talked about finances but not the bad side of it when it came to bills and debt so I wasn't as knowledgeable as he was. He's truly helped me become less of a spender and more of a saver. As young parents, we struggled financially which helped me realize the difference between wants and needs.
Adrian: I didn't really have any baggage so I had to understand sometimes I triggered things from her past unintentionally. We would have conversations and talk through any baggage issues. One thing I had to unlearn is enough is enough. There is never enough and I can always do more.
Courtesy of Ashleigh & Adrian
"One thing I had to unlearn is enough is enough. There is never enough and I can always do more."
The Sweetest Thing
Ashleigh: I believe our views on family and tradition are in sync. We both have the same ideas when it comes to what those are and what we want them to be. I also love how honest and loyal he is. It's extremely difficult to find a man who will always tell you the truth and stay committed to just you. Adrian's my needle in a haystack.
Adrian: We both value and respect each other's opinions and supporting each other professionally. I love how considerate she is.
Ashleigh: I love decorating Christmas trees and a few years ago we started going to Christmas tree farms to cut our own. I always look forward to it.
Adrian: I really enjoy our new tradition of selecting and cutting down our Christmas tree.
'Tis The Season
Ashleigh: Favorite gift I've received so far from him has been this Caroline Herrera perfume I wanted. I collect perfumes and I'd been eyeing it for a while so I was super excited to receive it. My greatest gift I've given is buying him tickets to the Atlanta Falcons game. He's a ride or die fan so I surprised him a couple of years ago with tickets and a jacket. He was shocked.
Adrian: My favorite gift that I have given has to be a Viktor Rolf Flowerbomb gift set and some Victoria Secret items (I drove all the way to Orlando, FL to get to Savannah, GA from Tallahassee, FL). My favorite gift that I have received was a surprise trip to an Atlanta Falcons game in Atlanta and luckily the Falcons won that day so it made it that much more special.
Follow Ashleigh on Instagram @musiq.leigh.
Don't forget to watch the premiere of Christmas Comes Twice on Hallmark Channel this Sunday 12/13 at 8pm/7c!
Featured image courtesy of Ashleigh and Adrian