Just like the Fergie song, Amber Riley has been up in the gym working on her fitness. The former Glee actress has been documenting her weight loss journey on social media and has spoken in previous interviews about her decision to get healthier. In a recent workout post, she decided to call out the men who have been sliding in her DMs since her weight loss and referred to them as being “fatphobic.”
In the video, Amber looks into the camera like she is getting ready to say something and then the sound of someone falling begins with the actress looking confused. Then she talks along to a Nicki Minaj sound bite that says “Um, chile, anyways, so.” The writing in the video said “[ninja emoji] I’ve known for years falling in my DMs because I’ve lost weight…” In the Instagram caption, she wrote “Keep that same fatphobic energy player. Ain’t 💩 changed over here but the scale. BIG DOT.”
Many of her followers agreed with her including Community actress Yvette Nicole Brown who wrote, “Right?! They straight up act like we’ve taken off an 'invisibility cloak' or something. I’ve BEEN her playa! And you were uninterested. Keep that same energy and kick rocks!”
The “BGE” singer seems to be focusing on herself following the end of her engagement to Desean Black. The former couple was engaged for over a year and during an interview with the Nice & Neat podcast in April, Amber revealed that they were no longer together.
“I wish him the best. I don’t have anything horrible or bad to say,” she said.
She added, “I think I learn from every relationship that I was in, and I thank them and I leave them in love and light. That’s all I can do.”
Many fans championed their love when they were together. Amber shared that she actually slid in Desean’s DMs which sparked their romantic journey together. In an exclusive xoNecole interview, the Single Black Female actress defended her decision to slide in her former lover’s DMs and encouraged other women to do so.
“A lot of women say, ‘I don’t want to be thirsty going into a guy’s DMs,’ but I wasn’t thirsty and I wasn’t chasing him,” she said. “I just made myself seen and I made sure that he saw me and it went on from there. In our first conversation, we were talking about science, brains and nerdy shit.”
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Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Black Music Honors
This Virgo Solar Eclipse Horoscope Reveals The Shift You’ve Been Waiting For
The final eclipse of 2025 is here, and it’s time to claim your harvest and own your healing. On September 21, we have a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Virgo, and we are being called towards change. This eclipse is the beginning of a new chapter, facilitating a coming together of love, stability, and intention. Solar Eclipses are different from your typical New Moon, as it’s not necessarily about manifesting right now, as it is about preparing, honoring gratitude, and recognizing what is already here for you today.
When the Moon is in Virgo, we heal, we empower ourselves, and we allow a new beginning to change our lives for the better.
What Makes the September 2025 Virgo Solar Eclipse Special
This Solar Eclipse is interesting because it forms an opposition to Saturn and Neptune, but it also forms harmonious aspects to both Uranus and Pluto. Foundations are shifting, facades fall, and clarity beams, yet there is also a more pressing need to rebuild with the tools, inspirations, and resources you have now. This is the only Solar Eclipse from the Virgo/Pisces axis that began in September 2024 and ends in February 2027, so this is the most potent time for claiming a new chapter in your life.
The more you can focus on moving forward right now, the less you will feel restricted from the past or the what-ifs.
It’s also important to note that this eclipse will be happening at 29 degrees Virgo, and the last time we had a Virgo Eclipse at this degree was September of 2006. Think back to what you were creating in your world around this time, or what changes were happening for you. Now is the time to redirect your focus, get clearer on the details, and find new ways to manage your health and day-to-day life. This eclipse is going to be especially prominent for mutable signs: Virgo, Pisces, Gemini, and Sagittarius, and overall is a breakthrough in a new, more positive direction.
The Solar Eclipse in Virgo is here to help the world evolve, grow, and love more intentionally.
Your Solar Eclipse in Virgo Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what is in store for you for the New Moon Solar Eclipse in Virgo.
ARIES
The New Moon Solar Eclipse in Virgo is a time of trusting your instincts, Aries. You know what is best for you, your health, and your daily life, and this eclipse will be helping you acknowledge that and find new solutions as well. Some changes have been made in your world recently, and this eclipse is showing you what gifts have come from these changes and where to go from here.
It’s about protecting your energy and your time, and knowing that what is ahead of you is far better than what has been. You are almost there, Aries. This is not the time to give up, but to prepare for your manifestations to appear.
TAURUS
The New Moon Solar Eclipse is happening in a fellow earth sign, and you are feeling inspired by the changes taking place in your life right now, Taurus. This eclipse is opening the door to romance, passion, self-expression, and creativity, and it’s time to shine, beautiful. It’s about having fun right now, not taking things too seriously, and trusting that the progress you have made is worthy of your acknowledgement and gratitude.
This Solar Eclipse is all about doing the things that make you happy and bring you joy, and being around the people that bring out this energy within you as well. You deserve to feel good about your life, and this New Moon is creating breakthroughs for you to do so.
GEMINI
This Solar Eclipse brings your interests and intentions regarding your home life and foundations to the forefront, Gemini. This eclipse facilitates changes within the home or with family, and you are experiencing a greater balance and harmony within these new beginnings. You have been looking for the middle ground between your work-life successes and your needs and intentions for your personal life and the home, and it’s coming to fruition for you now.
This eclipse overall is here to help you gain some new ground and claim the peace that you deserve in your life for all your hard work and efforts.
CANCER
The New Moon Solar Eclipse is a new beginning for you and your relationships, Cancer. Love comes together for you, and you are in a place of feeling understood and seen. You have been setting your intentions for communication matters and for more community and support in your world, and that is what is developing for you now. You are ready for an energy shift, and your heart is pleased with what is presenting itself to you.
This eclipse is a step in a new direction for your emotional world, and you are mentally feeling a lot clearer-headed in the process. It’s time to show up, take up space, and make your voice heard, Cancer.
LEO
This Solar Eclipse is a closure and a new beginning in one, Leo. You are shifting your focus and paying more attention to the investments and actions that serve your long-term goals and purpose, and where you may need to redirect your energy. It’s time to create space for new abundance to grow and to let go of settling for anything less than what you deserve. You are overall planning for the future right now, and it’s about remaining open to what is possible for you.
Financial progress is being made, and it’s coming from the new perspective you have gained in these matters this year.
VIRGO
The New Moon Solar Eclipse is here and in your sign, Virgo. Manifestations are appearing, and you are recognizing just how powerful you are. This eclipse highlights what your heart needs to feel fulfilled and aligned with your purpose, and it’s about following through on your plans and intentions right now. With this eclipse moving through your 1st house of Self, you are rewriting your story and turning a new page.
You are the creator of your destiny, of the path you lead, and the legacy you leave behind, and this Solar Eclipse is all about honoring the personal plans and goals for yourself that you feel inspired to get behind right now.
LIBRA
This Solar Eclipse brings clarity into your world and helps you see your life, both past and present, more clearly, Libra. You are in a space of healing, reflection, and letting go, and a lot is shifting for you now. This is the time to pay attention to your dreams and to honor the guidance you are receiving, knowing that you are divinely connected. When you put your healing and your peace first, you allow yourself to fully show up for others and for life itself wholeheartedly and unconditionally. This eclipse is all about knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting your instincts more.
SCORPIO
A New Moon Solar Eclipse occurs in your 11th house, and a new beginning is here for you, Scorpio. This eclipse brings an inner awakening into your world, and helps you see who is there for you and the love that heals. You are awakening to the dreams and intentions you want to see come to fruition, and everything feels a little more magical for you right now. This is a time for opening up to support, connection, and friendship, and meeting the right people at the right time.
You are seeing more of the gifts of connection and the need for relationship development in your world, and you are making progress here overall.
SAGITTARIUS
This New Moon Solar Eclipse highlights your career, reputation, and professional world, Sagittarius. A New Moon here signifies new beginnings, breakthroughs, and opportunities within your career, but also a need to really focus on how you want things to play out for you here. A few different options and opportunities are presenting themselves to you now, and it’s about choosing what is going to be the best for you in the long run.
Think big-picture and know that it’s about progress right now, not perfection. You have the tools you need to succeed if you can recognize what gifts are already in your world.
CAPRICORN
This Solar Eclipse is happening in a fellow earth sign, and is inspiring you to new heights, Capricorn. This New Moon will be flowing through your 9th house, and the 9th house rules your sense of adventure, spirituality, divine guidance, travel, and freedom. You are aligning with your higher self, taking note of the signs and guidance you are receiving right now, and experiencing a personal breakthrough in your life.
This is the time in your life to think big picture and to look ahead with complete self-belief. It’s about expecting the best for yourself and creating space for new opportunities to enter. You are stepping out into the unknown, and your faith in it all is what is going to get you through this time.
AQUARIUS
Transformations are inevitable, and this eclipse changes everything for you, Aquarius. During this eclipse, you are ready to move forward and honor the new perspectives you have gained in life and in love, and the Universe is helping you do so. There is an awakening happening in your world now, and you are finding new ways to build stronger foundations and set new intentions for yourself.
You have been working on saving, gathering your resources, and thinking more logically about what you dedicate yourself to physically and emotionally, and right now, it’s time to see the manifestations of your efforts.
PISCES
The New Moon Solar Eclipse is an opportunity to gain your balance, Pisces. This eclipse happens in your opposite sign, Virgo, creating a need to find your harmony within the changes you are moving through. There is a lot on your plate and a lot on your mind, but it’s important not to let this energy overwhelm you. Your relationships need more of your time and energy right now, and it’s about filling up your cup so you have that energy to do so for others.
This eclipse brings significant changes in love, and is about building more stability here so that you feel good about where you are headed in life and who is coming with you.
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The Community Cure To Loneliness: How 'Joyful Connections' Transform Friendships
Many of us, 25+ women, are mindfully exiting toxic relationships and transforming good relationships into great ones by healing our inner child and returning back to childlike play. In the context of a post-lockdown society, we’re recovering from avoiding connection for years by discovering ourselves in community and interdependence, as is most rewarding.
They say raising a child takes a village, but we don’t stop needing a village to become well and good people in adulthood - after all, we are but tender children looking for love, safety, and fun on the inside.
After the obligations and responsibilities of work and home life, there is little left of us, which is why and how we spend what little time we have with others matters. We cannot rely on convenience or proximity to form rich adult friendships that fill our cup, but rather something more substantive.
Why Adult Friendships Feel Harder to Make
As a Brooklyn-based community builder who runs a collective to help women make adult friendships, I would say the best return on investment in new friends comes from meeting people where their joy exists.
When it comes to the development of such friendships, we might need to return to the sandbox and the vulnerability of asking another human if they want to play with us. As kids and young adults, community is compulsory. By way of school, church, extracurricular activities, sports, cul-de-sac friends, and third place galore, we were surrounded by peers from all walks of life, even if we didn’t necessarily intend to be.
Unlikely to consider if these spaces were even truly fun, safe, or beneficial, I’m not sure we even knew that community was what we were participating in.
A lot of folks struggle to make friends beyond their early twenties because the security blankets have been removed.
The 'Friendship Drought' After 25
The average age that most meet our best friends is 21, according to The Friendship Report, a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019. We can theorize this is because of factors like college environments, frequency of social events, bonding over canon events like first serious romantic relationships, and simply having idle time.
As we age and our responsibilities start to weigh heavier and heavier, we connect less over levity, play, and gossip and become more concerned with romantic partners - which society assigns greater importance - taxes, mortgages, children, increasingly aching bones, and the looming anxiety of legacy.
The Health Risks of Loneliness
Here’s the thing: Loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Our health quite literally depends on having fruitful connections that aren’t grown from obligation. We need friends who choose us because they love to see us happy and light.
We need friends who choose us because they love to see us happy and light.
The average American spends a very sad 41 minutes a day socializing. We are not socialized to value regular attendance to third places or interest-based activities/hobbies, so this makes sense, but it’s the greatest inhibitor to finding other adults we’re delighted by rather than trauma bonds with coworkers who also hate your boss or neighbors who are fine, but don’t share our values.
Meeting Friends Where Joy Exists
Not only do we need to find third places, not only do we need to commit intentional time daily to investing in friends, but we also need to connect with our friends over soul-enriching and genuinely fun activities. Things that help us know each other intimately.
What we do while we spend time with friends is what makes the friendship.
Time is the Real Investment
According to Jeffrey A. Hall of the University of Kansas, it takes over 200 hours of committed time to truly build a friendship, but as the time committed to leisure increases, so does the reported quality of the friendship. Hence, meeting our friends where our joy is.
Hence, meeting our friends where our joy is.
Building Friendship Through Shared Rituals
I was not the kind of person who ever got to make friends for a good or long time. I moved a lot as a child, went to university across the country from my family, where I didn’t have the ideal experience, then moved across the country again to New York post-college - a city notoriously densely populated and yet incredibly lonely.
I was experiencing no shortage of interactions with people, but a shortage of A) time outside of work and B) vulnerable experiences that don’t involve going to a bar to truly bring me closer to other humans. Today, I have certainly met my people.
While I’m emotionally available to kind folks always, my cup is filled constantly by those who have met me where I am happiest with consistency. I know the context of the way these relationships developed has greatly impacted them.
Last year, a new friend of mine noticed I volunteer at a local food bank every week. We are both founders and hobbyists with little extra time on our hands who really value being of service to the community, so I asked her to join me.
Over the period of a year, she and I developed a ritual of buying each other coffee, coming to our “sacred place,” as we call it, and spending time in the kitchen catching up on family chat, dating gossip, therapy updates, and everything in between.
We kiss goodbye and promise to see each other soon, and we always do.
Small Joys, Big Bonds
Several of my friends are travelers, so we spend time eating delicious food and putting our toes in the finest sand in the world together. Several of my friends are obsessed with and work in music, so we enjoy attending the concerts of our favorite artists. My friends and I each have our rituals of sheer, unadulterated joy.
My friends and I each have our rituals of sheer, unadulterated joy.
Redefining Community as Adults
When I plan events for my community collective, I keep this in mind. We don’t just meet over dinner to talk about work - we do yoga together, we make homemade pasta, we grab ice cream, we learn breathwork, we run around the park, we go on nature walks, we meet to debrief books.
It dawned on me recently that because we grew up forced into dynamics with each other, we never truly learned what community means to us and don’t know how to choose it. As we age, the foundation of our survival shifts from being liked by others to liking ourselves and building a small but mighty team of people who support us in doing so and brighten that light in us out in all of its luminosity.
Your friendships and community are, in essence, a team of people who are co-creating your reality, with each person offering a slice of deliciousness to round out your life pie.
Valuing yourself and committing time for joy is the gateway to friends who bring you joy and want to find you there.
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Featured image by Ninthgrid on Unsplash
Article originally published on November 6, 2023