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10​​ Affirmations To Get You Through The Busy Season That Is Q4

It's all about being balanced.

Wellness

It's the fourth quarter. October 1 through December 31 marks the most compressed time of the year. Everyone is trying to finish the year strong and be better than they were on January 1. And while that's all well and good, being busy isn't cool anymore. It's all about being balanced.


As we know better and do better, we learn our unique balance equation. For us, that equation includes affirmations. Whether you need some inspiration or want to add this as a daily practice, we hope this menu of affirmations helps you speak life into this last quarter of the year.

1.Everything that is happening now is happening for my ultimate good.

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The truth is: we are all learning, growing, and overcoming obstacles. Things don't always make sense at the moment and this affirmation validates that trusting the process is essential. Remember that you are being led to a greater destination and a better outcome. Keep believing.

2.My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.

When it comes to healing, you must include your entire being which is your mind, body, and soul. We have learned that the mind is the power of the brain, the soul is the power of the body, and the soul is your spiritual essence. Ideally, you want to be balanced in all three areas to maintain alignment. When one is off, you feel it and the best way to stay aware is by checking in with yourself.

3.Breathing in, I focus on what I can control. Breathing out, I release what I can’t control.

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Go ahead and free yourself by releasing what you cannot control. It's definitely easier said than done but when you release, you make room for greater. This affirmation helps us to shift our vision and prioritize things that serve us.

4.I am inspiring people through my work.

Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you matter. You were placed in this world with an assignment and each day that you show up for yourself, you empower someone else to do the same. Isn't that powerful? By simply walking in your purpose, you show someone else that it is possible and they can do it too.

5.I am turning DOWN the volume of negativity in my life, while simultaneously turning UP the volume of positivity.

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When you build positive thoughts, positive actions follow. It's difficult to not have negative thoughts but we want to challenge you to follow them with positivity when they appear. Think of it as your emotional contingency plan when things don't go as we want them to. The mindfulness practice, AWARE, can help you break the cycle:

  • Accept: Acknowledge your thoughts but don't become them.
  • Watch: Pay attention to your body and what and how you feel.
  • Act: Journaling and visualizing are great ways to move into action.
  • Repeat: If you feel yourself spiraling, repeat the three steps above: accept, watch, and act.
  • Expect: Last but not least, expect realistic improvement.

6.I have clarity and energy.

Mental clarity leads to an appreciation of your life. You see the positivity in all things and it creates a space free from distractions. As someone who overthinks, clarity helps me to be present because my brain space is allocated for things that fill me up.

As for energy, Emily Maroutian says:

"Energy is the currency of the universe. When you 'pay' attention to something, you buy that experience. So when you allow your consciousness to focus on someone or something that annoys you, you feed it your energy, and it reciprocates with the experience of being annoyed. Be selective in your focus because your attention feeds the energy of it and keeps it alive, not just within you, but in the collective consciousness as well."

7.I am the architect of my life; I built its foundation and will choose its contents.

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The first step in being the architect of your own life is believing and deciding that you create the life you desire. Just as you hire contractors to build your dream house, you must employ yourself to design a life you'll love.

8.I’ve made it through hard times before, and I’ve come out stronger and better because of them. I’m going to make it through this.

Surviving hard times makes us resilient and while it's difficult to remember this when you're in the middle of a storm, acceptance opens the door to purpose. Everything happens for a reason and finding the silver lining supports healthy self-esteem.

9.Note to self: I am going to make you so proud.

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To acknowledge your growth is to have a strong sense of self-worth. It's OK to be proud of yourself and we would even say that you should take some time to brag about yourself to yourself while keeping an attitude of gratitude.

10.Through the power of my thoughts and words, incredible transformations are happening in me and within my life right now.

Our habitual thoughts and actions determine our destiny so it's time to think about the life-changing events we will soon experience. In order for transformations to happen, you have to release outdated thoughts and actions. God and the universe won't move until you do.

For more inspiration, self-care, and healing tips, check out xoNecole's Wellness section here.

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When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

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