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7 Daily Affirmations Every Single Woman Needs To Speak Over Their Lives

Be Your Own Relationship Goals

Love & Relationships

It's interesting how people will assume that you're constantly unhappy, bitter, or discontent merely because of your relationship status…or lack thereof. People need to understand that: 1) being single doesn't mean your life is stagnant or that your life is on pause; 2) being in a relationship or being married isn't necessarily for everyone, and just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean your life is perfect; and 3) some people actually choose or prefer to be single…and that's totally fine.


Yes - I can attest to the fact that being married and being in love is truly one of the greatest experiences in life and I live for some #BlackLove and love seeing others experience true love. However, that doesn't negate the fact that there are more than enough examples of dope and incredible women who are living their best lives as single women as well. They're single and loving it (or making the best of it as some would say)…and it's likely because somewhere along life's journey they, like many of us, have learned to embrace these seven affirmations as it relates to their single season:

7 Daily Affirmations For Single Women

1. My single status is a blessing, not a burden.

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It's obvious to you that now is the best time to live your best life. There's no better time to put yourself first. You are walking boldly and proudly in your season because you understand that a relationship status doesn't make you; rather, who you are and what you decide to do with your life and your purpose is what makes you. You refuse to allow others to make you feel some type of way about your single season, whether it's by choice or force.

2. Relationship Goals: love God, love myself, love others…and in that order. 

It might've taken some time, but now you understand that these are the most realistic #RelationshipGoals that you're interested in. You understand now more than ever that God wouldn't send you a relationship that would cause you to ruin your relationship with Him. Hence, when your priorities are right, then the love will be right. When it comes to the next relationship, you have basically declared: "if God ain't in it, then I don't want to be in it." There was a time when you made the relationship the priority above everything else in your life, but later realized that you thought you found love but ended up losing yourself. Now, you've made yourself a priority and have learned how to love and embrace yourself before trying to love someone else.

3. I deserve to be with someone who is not only interested in me, but also intentional with me.

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You can tell a lot about a man's interest in you based on how intentional he is toward you…and now you're able to tell the difference. You're paying attention to whether or not he's making excuses or making an effort because you truly believe that you're worth the date. Texting isn't enough. Snapchat isn't enough. You've made it known that in order for them to really get to know you, they will have to spend quality time with you.

4. If a man wants to be with me, then he’ll be with me. 

You understand that the one who wants to be with you will make it clear not merely through his words, but through his actions. You're no longer wearing yourself out trying to force someone to be with you or forcing them to change, because you also realize that you can't do that anyway. You've told yourself and you may have even told him that if he wants to make it work, then he'll put in the work. If he loves you, then he'll be good to you and good for you. You have decided that the only man you may ever chase after again in life will be the Ice Cream Man.

5. I will no longer make excuses for people who need to be excused from my life.

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You are no longer holding onto people or putting your life on hold for someone who is holding you back. You waited long enough and you gave them enough time to "get ready" for a relationship. Ultimately, you allowed their indecision to help you make a decision that would help you, and you found the good in goodbye. You decided that you no longer wanted be connected to dysfunction, and instead, you wanted to meet up with your destiny. Now, more than ever, you realize that God has too much that He wants to do through you and for you to be wasting time with people who aren't meant to be in your life.

6. I am enough. If I can’t be myself, then I can’t be with them. 

You're okay if they walk away because you understand your value, your worth, and your standards, and you refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve. You no longer act like a "relationship chameleon" and change who you are based on who you're dating. You understand that real love means they love the real you…"flaws and all." Yes – all of us change and evolve as life goes on and there are times when we have to compromise in relationships. However, you are no longer compromising your morals, values, or character merely for the sake of being in a relationship. You are committed to staying true to yourself and who you aspire to be.

7. I am right where I’m supposed to be. 

You trust the timing of your life, and you're learning to embrace where you are on your journey. You realize that you are not alone, and you acknowledge that you're right where you're supposed to be. Gone are the days when you used to feel like you had to be married and have children by a certain age. You're no longer stressed or obsessed with living your life based on other people's timelines or societal pressures. You understand that comparison kills confidence, so you're more focused on living your life rather than someone else's life who you only see on social media.

Life has shown you – through your personal experiences and even the experiences of others - that even though things don't always go as planned, God's timing is always perfect. Just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean that it won't. You have declared that, "if it's meant to happen, it will happen at the right time, at the right place, with the right person, and for the right reasons."

Featured image by Getty Images

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ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
Sign up

Featured image by Shutterstock

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