Adrienne Houghton Says Church Is For Broken People, Too
Can we go to Church on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, ladies? I mean, let's really fellowship and make an attempt to get real about something we may not often talk about.
I'm willing to bet that even if you didn't necessarily "grow up" in the church, there was at least one bible in your home as a child. Whether it belonged to your grandmother or you're not really sure where it came from, many Black women can say that there was at least one copy of the Good Book in their home growing up.
Historically, black people used Christianity as a refuge from the atrocities that have been committed against them over the years. But along with teachings of morality and grace that the church has to offer, comes a lot of worldly theology that is not at all of God. Church is (or should be) a place of love that can give you the boost you need to get through the next seven days, but it can also sometimes be riddled with gossip, greed, scrutiny, and scandal.
In a recent episode of The Real, Adrienne Houghton revealed that she had encountered many of those things firsthand. Recently, the TV host attended the 2019 Daytime Emmy Awards and got a multitude of backlash from the religious community for wearing clothes that were too revealing. According to some sanctified spectators, a woman of God should dress more conservatively. Adrienne explained that at times, her critics have made her more self-conscious about her image and sometimes dictates how she chooses her clothes.
"I'm not gonna front, I try even now to be conscious of it. Jeannie [Mai] gets mad at me she tells me don't change who you are. But I am conscious of it, not so much for myself but for my husband. Y'all can talk all you want about me, but you're not gonna talk about him."
Meagan Good stopped by D.L. Hughley's show and echoed this sentiment, saying that she doesn't always go to church with her husband, Devon Franklin because she sometimes feels ostracized by the church for her onscreen work. In a conversation about Meagan's comments, fellow hosts of The Real asked Adrienne how she copes with the scrutiny she often receives due to her marriage to Israel Houghton. She explained:
"I get it pretty bad. I take that and I never complain about it because, at the end of the day, I'm not here for you, I'm here for Jesus. And I feel God's love every day in my like And people don't realize, Church is like a hospital. It's for the broken people, it's not for the ones who are already saved."
Adrienne had this message for her critics:
"We need Jesus, so instead of pushing us away, you should accept us with open arms. If you see somebody doing something wrong, be an example of God's love. They say come as you are, but do you make people feel that way?"
She explained that although like Meagan, she's had a few negative encounters, she won't let those experiences define her relationship with God or with the church as a whole. The church should be an institution where you can go to give and get love, as well as deepen our connection with God. Unfortunately, sometimes Sister Shirley is too busy worrying about what you're wearing for anybody to really get a word.
Adrienne says that instead of being the type of Christian that's hypercritical of everything and everyone that doesn't fit our belief system, we should try another route: empathy.
"Let people have their own conviction. Maybe be quiet and pray for them. And again, if you feel I've done something wrong, pray for me. And maybe God will speak to me and maybe make me recognize where I'm wrong. But that's again, for me and Christ to have that conversation, not for you."
For women who do feel judged and isolated in your current church environment, maybe it's time to move around, sis. Just because that's your grandmother's church, doesn't mean you have to stay a member. Adrienne says the key to fixing your relationship with religion is in finding a church home that feels most comfortable to YOU.
"I have found places and churches and incredible people that actually don't just call themselves Christians, but they are Christ-like in the way that they love people. I'm grateful for that, I also don't make excuses for myself. I'm not perfect and I still have ways to go in my walk with Christ."
To watch the full clip, click here!
PART TWO: Meagan Good on Why She Goes to Church Less Frequentlywww.youtube.com
Featured image by Leon Bennett/Getty Images
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Crystal Renay Is Prioritizing Healing, Her Kids, And Her Coins Amid Divorce
Crystal Renay is reclaiming her time and her identity after dealing with heartbreak. The model was married to Ne-Yo for seven years and they share three young children together. However, after a cheating scandal that resulted in a baby outside of their relationship, Crystal decided to end her marriage to the “So Sick” singer. Now, she is focusing on her bag and her kids. She is co-owner of Johnny’s Chicken and Waffles, launching a lip kit line, and is back on TV starring in the new WE TV reality series Bold & Bougie.
But it wasn’t an easy road, especially with reality TV. From the beginning, Crystal and her castmates bumped heads due to misconceptions and alliances with her ex-husband’s former partner, Monyetta Shaw. However, the mother of three exclusively tells xoNecole that she doesn’t regret her decision to join the show.
Crystal Renay
Photo courtesy
“Honestly, being in that space, we had a– you know, when you're first getting to know people, sometimes it can be smooth, and sometimes it can be rocky,” she says. “In our case, it was a little bit rocky and just getting to know each other, and I like to call it growing pains. And I felt like we had a couple of moments, but all in all, like the experience was really good for me, and I would do it over again.”
Crystal describes herself as “career-oriented” and says she is in her selfish season because she is now prioritizing herself first. But she admits that she is still healing from her divorce. The reality TV star shares some tips for others who may be going through the same thing.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation,” she says. “But we can't move off of emotion because 10 times out of 10, a few months later, you're not going to feel like that. So, I'm a firm believer in not doing things that I will regret later. So I would just say be patient with yourself and stay positive.”
While there may be an opportunity to find love again, that’s not Crystal’s focus at the moment. She is in the rebuilding phase of her life, emphasizing the importance of self-care, personal growth, and finding her own happiness. She has had her share of challenges, including dealing with negative emotions and the public's perception of her, but her priorities involve spending quality time with her children and running lucrative businesses.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation.”
“With my kids, I'm very hands-on. I’m team mother with soccer kids, and they don't really make no goals because they like five years old, but I'm there cheering them on every week,” she jokes. “I want to travel, especially this summer, with my kids and take them somewhere internationally because they're at the age where they can handle a long flight. So, me just spending more time and more new experiences with my kids is my main focus with them and showing them all the love that I could possibly give them.”
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Photo courtesy of Crystal Renay