Eat Your Way To Better Sex With Aphrodisiacs
Soo…when's the last time you went out specifically with the intention of picking up an aphrodisiac or two? If it takes you more than a minute to come up with an answer, that means you don't do it nearly enough! Even if your sex life is on point and the mutual desire is still going strong, it's still a good idea to invest in things that will take you and your partner's arousal to higher levels. This includes copping jasmine and patchouli essential oils, white linen (why do you think hotels use white sheets? They are proven to boost our libidos), Vitamin E (it increases blood circulation, including to the genitalia), chocolate-flavored anything (its phenethylamine and tryptophan compounds trigger sexual arousal) — and certain foods.
Just by adding these to your diet on a consistent basis, your libido will strengthen, your orgasms will intensify, and your overall health and well-being will improve too. So, where's your grocery store list? Check it twice to see if you've got these eight foods written down:
8 Healthy Foods That Improve Your Sex Life
1.Celery
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It's kind of surprising that a food that's made up of 95 percent water could contain so many health benefits, but celery does. The Vitamin C, beta carotene, and flavonoids in it make celery a food that's high in antioxidants. Celery also contains around 25 compounds that fight to reduce inflammation. And, thanks to the magnesium, iron, and sodium that's also in celery, it can help to neutralize the acids in the foods so that you can digest them better.
Sex-wise, celery is also a winner. There are plenty of studies to support that if a man eats it and sweats, it creates the kind of pheromones that attract women. Word on the street is that it's also the kind of food that will make bodily fluids taste better too!
2.Sweet Potatoes
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Thanks to all of the nutrients that are found in sweet potatoes, they are considered to be a superfood. They are high in vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B6 and C, copper, biotin, and potassium. They contain manganese, which is great because it's a nutrient that helps to produce collagen in the body. Sweet potatoes are also the kind of food that keeps your blood sugar and blood pressure where it needs to be.
For guys, the potassium in sweet potatoes helps their erections to last longer. For gals, the Vitamin A helps to create more cervical fluid. This means that if you're trying to get pregnant, sweet potatoes work like a charm.
3.Honey
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It's almost criminal how honey can taste so sweet and be one of the best things for you, but it's true. If you get a local raw brand, honey works as a natural remedy for allergy symptoms. The antioxidants in honey will work to prevent cellular damage and improve your memory (especially if you're going through post-menopause). Honey will also give you more energy, heal wounds, reduce dandruff, and is an awesome humectant that keeps your hair and skin full of moisture.
On the sex tip, honey has Vitamin B in it to support the production of testosterone and boron in it to naturally increase the amount of estrogen in women. Both are needed for an active sex life.
4.Almonds
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If you like to snack on almonds during your lunch break, you are definitely doing your body good. There's fiber, protein, Vitamin E, and magnesium all up in those nuts! Almonds also contain properties that will lower your cholesterol levels, nutrients to reduce hunger cravings and catechin, epicatechin, and flavonol antioxidants to keep your skin healthy and glowing.
Why are they a great aphrodisiac? For starters, the selenium and zinc in them are ideal for reproductive health. Also, their omega-3 fatty acids work to boost blood circulation so that both erections and orgasms will last longer!
5.Coconut Water
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Over the past few years, coconut water has become all the rage; especially when it comes to staying hydrated during the summer seasons or after a workout. But there are other reasons to consume it on a regular basis.
Coconut water is low in calories (around 40 per serving), has copper and magnesium in it, and also contains a compound called cytokinins. What's so good about that? It helps to prevent cancerous cells while slowing down the aging process too. Just make sure to consume coconut water in moderation. It's loaded with potassium, which can cause side effects like a breakdown in muscle tissue or even diabetes if you go overboard on it.
Something else that's cool about coconut water is it has the same amount of electrolytes in it that your blood does. This means that it's a proven way to give your metabolism a kick, providing you with the energy you need to engage in coitus after a long day at work.
6.Avocados
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Vitamins B5, B6, C, E and K are just some of the nutrients that are in avocados. They also have monounsaturated fatty acids in them that are great for your heart, fiber to keep you regular, antioxidants that are good for your eyes, and folate that aids in fighting depression symptoms.
As far as your libido is concerned, here's a fun fact. Back in the day, the Aztecs used to call the avocado tree "Ahuacuatl". What does that translate into? The testicle tree. A part of that comes from the way an avocado looks when it's cut in half (bet you'll never look at one the same), along with the potassium and folic acid in it that increases stamina and provides energy.
7.Cinnamon
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As far as spices go, it's a must that you put some freshly-ground cinnamon in your pantry. The polyphenols in it will fight off free radicals and its anti-inflammatory properties will help to repair damaged tissues in the body. Cinnamon also contains properties that fight off insulin resistance and lower blood sugar levels. Cinnamon even inhibits a protein in the brain that could later lead to Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's disease.
Cinnamon will definitely spice up your sex life too! Seasoning your food with it will increase your body temperature so that you feel all warm (and potentially horny) inside. Putting some edible-grade cinnamon oil essential oil in your mouth will make kisses (everywhere) sweeter and hotter! Plus, since it's proven to improve cognitive function, if you or your partner need help staying in the moment more, cinnamon has got your covered in that area too.
8.Truffles
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Do yourself a favor and treat yourself to a truffle this week. This mushroom delicacy does everything from lower cholesterol levels and slow down the aging process to treat eye infections and boost your immune system. Truffles are able to do all of this, thanks in part to the magnesium, iron, and calcium that's in them.
Why does this particular food make the aphrodisiac list? It's actually thanks to how it smells. It's got a musky scent that replicates male pheromones and triggers sexual desire in women.
But hey, don't take our word for it. Give it a shot and report back. Whenever you come up for air from all of that sex you'll be having after you do, that is!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Meet The Designer Behind This Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" Video Look
When Megan Thee Stallion dropped “Hiss,” a shift happened. From the audacious lyrics to the striking visuals, there was no doubt that the song and video would go viral. The opening of the video shows the H-town hottie rocking a barely there Shibari red dress, showing off her voluptuous frame. It was a sexy moment created by Timeekah Murphy of Alani Taylor. The designer exclusively tells us how the opportunity came about and what it was like seeing her design on Megan for the first time.
Timeekah Murphy
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xoNecole: How did the opportunity to create such an iconic look for Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" video come about?
Timeekah Murphy: The opportunity came from a DM from celebrity stylist Zerina Akers. She asked for a unique Shibari piece for Megan, and I needed to get it done in two days. So, of course, I did everything in my power to make it happen. I've always wanted to design for Megan, so this was an awesome opportunity for me.
xoN: What was that initial feeling of seeing the dress on her for the first time?
TM: I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
xoN: Did you meet her? If so, how was that moment?
TM: I didn't meet Megan during the shoot, but during my time in LA, I got the opportunity to meet her at LA Pride with Tiffany Haddish, Common, and EJ King (stylist). Megan is such an amazing person, so it made it even better to know that my designs were going to be worn by her. I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
"I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her."
Photo courtesy
xoN: Walk us through the creation of the dress. How did you come up with the look, and how long did it take to make it?
TM: I was the co-designer for a brand called Deviant in 2018-2020, and we used to make custom Shibari pieces. That's how Zerina knew me. So I'm very familiar with making these types of pieces. We made plenty for Beyoncé, Cardi B, Tiffany Haddish, Tyra Banks, and so many others. So Zerina knew exactly what she wanted.
To get it done, it took me a day and a half. It's very intricate and time-consuming, so I spent about six hours making it then I sent an image of it to Zerina, and she didn't approve the first one, so I had to start from scratch again after getting my guidance and understanding of what was needed. The next day, I went to The Lab and created another version, and she approved it. I had to get it shipped overnight so that she would get it in time and fast forward to seeing it on the big screen.
xoN: What's next for you?
TM: Everything. The sky is not my limit, so the Alani Taylor brand is expanding into so many different avenues. We are getting involved in the community more, offering sewing classes to the youth. I've opened up a store for my brand in Atlanta and now preparing for fall/winter Fashion Week.
Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" video/ YouTube
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Dating Apps Are Out, Meeting People IRL Is In — And Here’s How To Do It.
Whoever coined the phrase, “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it,” certainly was not referring to the state of our dating scene. Whether online or in real life, you don't have to go far to hear the grievances of singles calling for the immediate repair of all leaks, cracks, and fractures in the dating pool.
No matter the state you live in, your age, how much you earn for a living, or if you’re a chronic app dater, there’s a general consensus that something (anything) must be done to restore the hope of singles looking for long-term, fulfilling relationships. And as many of us hold on to the hope for an unexpected cross-encounter with our next love story, others are leaning on the side of giving up completely. But before throwing in the towel, it might be time to make a few adjustments.
Dating Apps Are In Their Flop Era, Making Connections IRL Is Where It's At
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Many singles agree that spending their leisure time swiping through dating apps is out. What’s in is stepping out of one's comfort zone to make connections in the real world. Scary. We know. But unless you were one of the lucky few to find love on dating apps before its flop era or made a love connection from home during the pandemic, going about your dating life the same way is bound to render the same results: being single with a headache. And we want better for you.
It’s safe to say that constantly meeting strangers off the internet for a chance to find love has lost its charm, leaving singles open to the train, farmer’s market, the gym, or a friend’s house party to be prime real estate for matching up with potential partners.
This shift, as Marissa Nelson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and BLK’s Relationship and Intimacy Expert tells xoNecole, is due in part to a growing concern about the authenticity of online profiles — in other words: is what you’re seeing, in fact, what you’re getting? “From their profile picture, what they say they do, the height they say they are; it’s this fear of, ‘Am I really talking to who I think I'm speaking to?'” she explains.
On our journey to finding “the one” out in the real world, a common question is, “Where do you find the available singles?” The short answer is, everywhere. The long answer is at the grocery store, on a plane, during happy hours, at work, at a conference, on a solo vacation, or, as Nelson puts it, anywhere you are showing up as your most open and vulnerable self.
“You never know where the connection is going to come from, which is why it's even more important to be receptive, to stay open, be curious, and lean into your vulnerability,” she says. In fact, Nelson encourages singles to release themselves of the rigidity around finding the perfect person at the “perfect” place, because, in essence, there isn’t one. “We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people,” she says. “We have to be open to however love shows up.”
"We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people. We have to be open to however love shows up."
We all can relate to the fact that the idea of shooting our shot in real life is a lot more exciting than the actual act. The relationship expert explains that one of the greatest hesitations to us putting ourselves out there and taking a chance on love is rooted in the fear of rejection. However, it’s important to keep in mind that “we’ve all been hurt” and most importantly, “we’re all afraid of rejection.”
That’s why Nelson suggests the following strategies to make the first move and find love in your everyday life.
1. Don't close yourself off.
“When you relax your expectations, you start to meet really cool people. Some of those cool people became friends and that makes your life richer because now, you have new friends and great people to hang out with. Even if it wasn't a love match, it can become a significant or meaningful friendship.”
2. Don't let your "type" hold you back.
“We all have a type. And a lot of women will say, ‘I like them tall. I like them like this or that.’ When we’re rigid about who we believe we ought to be with versus being open to people who might be more aligned with our values, we close ourselves off. Sure, you're not going to date somebody that you are absolutely not attracted to. But people have a lot of unwritten rules around who they will allow themselves to get to know, and I challenge people to challenge their rules because that can hold you back from expansive experiences.”
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3. Make the first move.
“I think that if we can be bold, be brave, and if there's somebody that's good-looking, catches your eye, or just seems like they have a good vibe, we can approach them with curiosity. Ask them how they're doing. Introduce yourself. It doesn't have to lead to all these things; you can just have chemistry and flow from there.”
4. Ask better questions.
“When you meet someone for the first time, asking them ‘What do you do?’ is not the best first question because that only tells you what they do for money, not necessarily what they're passionate about. To get insight into who that person truly is, ask: What are you passionate about in your life right now? What lights you up? What excites you? What are you working towards?”
5. Shift your mindset.
“We've all been hurt. And we can be guarded because we don't want to get hurt again. The brain is a very complex and brilliant system designed to keep us safe, and emotional survival is a real thing. We become super protective, and in that, we come up with a lot of different rules, paradigms, [and] belief systems. The biggest mindset shift is: how can we do our own work to know and believe that we are worthy and deserving of love.”
Whether you’re on a dating app or roaming your local Trader Joe’s, love is everywhere — and the abundance of love is available to us once we remove limiting beliefs that make it feel scarce and out of reach. Vulnerability, shedding our walls, and openness just might be the tweaks we need to snitch up the dating streets and watch it heal for the better.
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