Eat Your Way To Better Sex With Aphrodisiacs
Soo…when's the last time you went out specifically with the intention of picking up an aphrodisiac or two? If it takes you more than a minute to come up with an answer, that means you don't do it nearly enough! Even if your sex life is on point and the mutual desire is still going strong, it's still a good idea to invest in things that will take you and your partner's arousal to higher levels. This includes copping jasmine and patchouli essential oils, white linen (why do you think hotels use white sheets? They are proven to boost our libidos), Vitamin E (it increases blood circulation, including to the genitalia), chocolate-flavored anything (its phenethylamine and tryptophan compounds trigger sexual arousal) — and certain foods.
Just by adding these to your diet on a consistent basis, your libido will strengthen, your orgasms will intensify, and your overall health and well-being will improve too. So, where's your grocery store list? Check it twice to see if you've got these eight foods written down:
8 Healthy Foods That Improve Your Sex Life
1.Celery
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It's kind of surprising that a food that's made up of 95 percent water could contain so many health benefits, but celery does. The Vitamin C, beta carotene, and flavonoids in it make celery a food that's high in antioxidants. Celery also contains around 25 compounds that fight to reduce inflammation. And, thanks to the magnesium, iron, and sodium that's also in celery, it can help to neutralize the acids in the foods so that you can digest them better.
Sex-wise, celery is also a winner. There are plenty of studies to support that if a man eats it and sweats, it creates the kind of pheromones that attract women. Word on the street is that it's also the kind of food that will make bodily fluids taste better too!
2.Sweet Potatoes
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Thanks to all of the nutrients that are found in sweet potatoes, they are considered to be a superfood. They are high in vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B6 and C, copper, biotin, and potassium. They contain manganese, which is great because it's a nutrient that helps to produce collagen in the body. Sweet potatoes are also the kind of food that keeps your blood sugar and blood pressure where it needs to be.
For guys, the potassium in sweet potatoes helps their erections to last longer. For gals, the Vitamin A helps to create more cervical fluid. This means that if you're trying to get pregnant, sweet potatoes work like a charm.
3.Honey
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It's almost criminal how honey can taste so sweet and be one of the best things for you, but it's true. If you get a local raw brand, honey works as a natural remedy for allergy symptoms. The antioxidants in honey will work to prevent cellular damage and improve your memory (especially if you're going through post-menopause). Honey will also give you more energy, heal wounds, reduce dandruff, and is an awesome humectant that keeps your hair and skin full of moisture.
On the sex tip, honey has Vitamin B in it to support the production of testosterone and boron in it to naturally increase the amount of estrogen in women. Both are needed for an active sex life.
4.Almonds
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If you like to snack on almonds during your lunch break, you are definitely doing your body good. There's fiber, protein, Vitamin E, and magnesium all up in those nuts! Almonds also contain properties that will lower your cholesterol levels, nutrients to reduce hunger cravings and catechin, epicatechin, and flavonol antioxidants to keep your skin healthy and glowing.
Why are they a great aphrodisiac? For starters, the selenium and zinc in them are ideal for reproductive health. Also, their omega-3 fatty acids work to boost blood circulation so that both erections and orgasms will last longer!
5.Coconut Water
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Over the past few years, coconut water has become all the rage; especially when it comes to staying hydrated during the summer seasons or after a workout. But there are other reasons to consume it on a regular basis.
Coconut water is low in calories (around 40 per serving), has copper and magnesium in it, and also contains a compound called cytokinins. What's so good about that? It helps to prevent cancerous cells while slowing down the aging process too. Just make sure to consume coconut water in moderation. It's loaded with potassium, which can cause side effects like a breakdown in muscle tissue or even diabetes if you go overboard on it.
Something else that's cool about coconut water is it has the same amount of electrolytes in it that your blood does. This means that it's a proven way to give your metabolism a kick, providing you with the energy you need to engage in coitus after a long day at work.
6.Avocados
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Vitamins B5, B6, C, E and K are just some of the nutrients that are in avocados. They also have monounsaturated fatty acids in them that are great for your heart, fiber to keep you regular, antioxidants that are good for your eyes, and folate that aids in fighting depression symptoms.
As far as your libido is concerned, here's a fun fact. Back in the day, the Aztecs used to call the avocado tree "Ahuacuatl". What does that translate into? The testicle tree. A part of that comes from the way an avocado looks when it's cut in half (bet you'll never look at one the same), along with the potassium and folic acid in it that increases stamina and provides energy.
7.Cinnamon
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As far as spices go, it's a must that you put some freshly-ground cinnamon in your pantry. The polyphenols in it will fight off free radicals and its anti-inflammatory properties will help to repair damaged tissues in the body. Cinnamon also contains properties that fight off insulin resistance and lower blood sugar levels. Cinnamon even inhibits a protein in the brain that could later lead to Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's disease.
Cinnamon will definitely spice up your sex life too! Seasoning your food with it will increase your body temperature so that you feel all warm (and potentially horny) inside. Putting some edible-grade cinnamon oil essential oil in your mouth will make kisses (everywhere) sweeter and hotter! Plus, since it's proven to improve cognitive function, if you or your partner need help staying in the moment more, cinnamon has got your covered in that area too.
8.Truffles
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Do yourself a favor and treat yourself to a truffle this week. This mushroom delicacy does everything from lower cholesterol levels and slow down the aging process to treat eye infections and boost your immune system. Truffles are able to do all of this, thanks in part to the magnesium, iron, and calcium that's in them.
Why does this particular food make the aphrodisiac list? It's actually thanks to how it smells. It's got a musky scent that replicates male pheromones and triggers sexual desire in women.
But hey, don't take our word for it. Give it a shot and report back. Whenever you come up for air from all of that sex you'll be having after you do, that is!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
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IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise y’all or not to know that a few years back, Vice published an article entitled, “Women Get Bored in Bed Faster Than Men.” When it comes to the clients I work with, what I will say is men tend to underestimate how creative women can be while women seem to overlook that men fake orgasms just about as much as they do. My grand takeaway from all of this? Folks need to be intentional when it comes to keeping the spice alive in their sex life; especially if they’re in a long-term relationship.
That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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