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6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back When Your Confidence Is Slippin'

Inspiration

One scroll on Instagram or a bad hair day can make our self-confidence take a nosedive.


It happens more than we would like it to, but we all have moments when we don't feel like ourselves. Yes, we're the first ones to talk about self-love, but a lack of self-confidence can be just one of the fun (insert sarcasm here) things about being a woman. We all have our Monica moments where it's just one of them days and we just want to be all alone.

The key though, is to not stay down. Here are a few ideas to get your mojo back when your confidence is slipping.

Say Something…

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While it might seem like this method is a little overrated, they really do help. And they never get old. I've had times where I was really coming down on myself from my image to my career, but in those moments, we can be our worst critic or our number one cheerleader. The difference is what we say about ourselves. Who cares what anyone else thinks? When you speak out of your mouth that you're amazing, powerful, and a bad mama jama, you'll start to feel the shero within you rise once again. And the best part is that it might take a lot of energy in those moments where it's tempting to have a pity party, but those seemingly little words can make a major difference. You'll be milly rocking in the mirror again before you know it.

Retail Therapy

If you're as frugal as I am, this one might be a difficult one. But it's definitely worth it. I'm not saying you have to splurge on something major. It can be as small as a pair of shoes you've been eyeing or a jacket. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the foundation of our confidence should be the clothes we wear. BUT I'm also a strong believer that when we look our best, we feel good about ourselves, and can at times be even more productive. Besides, it can even be something like purchasing the LLC for your business; anything that will help you feel like you're the amazing woman that you truly are. Whatever you choose, just know that you deserve a good spoiling every once in a while.

Music Is The Move

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Okay, so… This might sound really crazy (or not), but it's no secret that music can determine our entire mood. I feel like we all have that one song from Rihanna to Cardi B to Kirk Franklin that helps boost how we feel about ourselves. Whatever song you have, blast it in the car while you sing along or belt it out in the shower and get ready to conquer whatever funk you might be in at the time. We all know that music can create memories, good or bad ones. Something about it has the power to uplift us in a unique way. So use it to your advantage and make new memories with songs that help you get back to feeling the superwoman you really are.

Pamper Yourself

Have you ever noticed what a day at the spa can do for your inner and outer self? Wonders, sis… wonders. Again, you don't have to break the bank. I'm basically the president of all things balling on a budget. From a manicure less than $30 to a pedicure or even a staycation at home for the free-free with your favorite meal, there are certainly ways to pamper yourself to help you get back your mojo. If you still need more suggestions, consider taking a nice, warm bath, or just asking our significant other to rub your feet. Sometimes it's the little things that make a huge difference. Ultimately, you're important enough to take time and not only woosah but also get pampered to help level up your confidence.

Show Off Your Pearly Whites

I always remember reading that it takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 muscles to smile. Still, when we want to be in our own mood and just have a moment, it might seem like spreading our mouth into a smile will take all of our energy; especially if we're forced to interact with the wrong person at the wrong time. Still, it's turning that frown upside down that will help us get our mojo back. Even when we don't feel like it, it can at least put us in a better mood when we're intentional about being happy and getting our confidence on track.

Think Happy Thoughts

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This one might not be as tangible, but it's arguably the most powerful. Most of the time (if not all), our insecurity starts within our minds. When you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else or trying to convince yourself that you're not good enough to live the life of your dreams, shut down those thoughts with positive ones. It's been said that you can't fight fire with fire, so the solution might be to say an affirmation out loud or listen to something positive (Sarah Jakes Roberts is always a win for me) that will help you get your bounce back. You can also try reading an inspiring book, or like the point above, listen to music that will encourage you to tap into your best self. 'Cause you're the bomb, sis.

Featured image via GIFs

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ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
Sign up

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