Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man
Whew. Okay, so anyone who grew up “churched” and has never heard of what I’m about to share is probably already a little shook when it comes to the title of this piece. Because oh, believe you me, I went to Christian schools along with church every Sabbath back in the day and I think that it was at least once every few months that 666 and the mark of the beast (which comes out of Revelation 13:18 of the Bible) would come up in some sort of conversation.
This time, though, it has nothing to do with Scripture or end times theories nor is it a slight on a man (like him being evil or something). It’s actually speaking of, what seems to be a constant, relentless, and ever-growing-in-popularity desire that many women have when it comes to the kind of guy that they want to have a long-term relationship with — and it just happens to be that the three top traits all have the number “6” in it.
And actually, because I know many of the things that six symbolizes, the 6-6-6 man is fascinating because the number represents things like physically appealing, high standards, domestic happiness, and stability (hmm…).
So, whether you already know about this kind of man and want him, or you’ve never heard of him before and you want to learn more, let’s do some unpacking, shall we? Because, like most things in life, a 6-6-6 man is more than just a catchphrase or notion, chile.
6 Feet Tall
Two things that I’m pretty big on are stats and studies. A part of the reason is that, while a lot of people think that their feelings are facts, stats and studies are rooted in more than emotions that can change on a dime — there’s research, surveys, and hardcore intel involved. So, when it comes to physicality, it’s interesting that while a lot of women are consumed with height, a lot of men are consumed with “width” and neither wants to compromise much. Meanwhile, the stats reveal that only roughly 15 percent of men are over 6 ft and the average dress size in America right now is somewhere between 16-18. So, while you can want what you want all day long, you’ve also got to take into account what is actually available.
And how do I know that 6 ft. stands (pun intended) out for women? Because any time I’m out in the YouTube streets watching videos about what women find to be desirable, I can almost say it along with them that he must be at least 6’ tall. Some say it’s because a tall man makes them feel safe and secure. Others say that they don’t find short men attractive. Still, others don’t really know why they actually need a guy who is six inches taller towering over them, if they’re say only 5’4” in height themselves.
Me? I’m 5’6” and most of the men I’ve dated (or sex-ed) have been basketball player-tall. I did some soul searching and I think a part of it is because I was molested by a family member when I was younger (and much shorter) and so I was subconsciously programmed to think that as I got taller, the men in my life should be too. Once I factored that into what I thought was merely my preference, the desire ceased to be quite as rigid. Not to mention the fact that I’ve spent many years with super tall men who were shorter on character.
I mean, if ONLY 15 PERCENT of men are that tall, am I really going to automatically cancel someone who is 5’9” or 5’10”? How ridiculous would that be? Hmph. According to two Black women, VERY.
One of them is a Black influencer who has a YouTube channel called Only One Jess. She got married last year to what appears to be a very remarkable young man. She’s 5’1” and he’s 5’3” and she regularly brings up that, if she had stayed hung up on his height, she definitely would’ve missed out — BIG TIME. The other woman is someone, who, I wish I had kept the video because she PREACHED PREACHED when she said this about her around 5’7” man: “I had a father to look up to while growing up, so I don’t need my husband to overcompensate.”
BOOM! 10 TIMES! I hope y’all caught all-a-dat too!
6 Inches Long
Over the years, I’ve written quite a few pieces for this platform on the topic of penises including “Apparently, A Certain Penis Size Can Make Us Orgasm The Most (Chile)” (it’s eight inches, by the way) and “Sex Hacks For Different Kinds Of Penises (You Heard Me Right).” However, the one that probably deserves the most attention when it comes to this particular topic is “BDE: Please Let The ‘It Needs To Be Huge’ Myth Go.” If you haven’t checked it out (yet), it’s about a wife I know who has a husband with a lot to offer in the genitalia department, who actually has a pretty dysfunctional sex life with him (still) and a huge (no pun intended) reason is because his ego is far bigger than his package and his performance is less than stellar as a direct result.
As a marriage life coach for well over 15 years at this point, I’ve heard literally countless stories from women who’ve said that a big penis isn’t all it’s cracked up to be — that oftentimes we just say that we want that because we’ve been conditioned to; that a smaller size is just fine when your partner is attentive, selfless and confident.
Besides, I will continue to say until ALL of the cows come home that the average size penis 5.5” erect, our vaginas expand to 4.75” when aroused and our most intense nerve endings are 2” inside of it. Moral of the story? You can get stimulated just fine with a smaller size. Science says so.
In fact, the reason why many women struggle with experiencing a vaginal (penetration) orgasm isn’t because a man’s penis isn’t large enough, it’s either because their clitoris is too far away from their vagina for both to be stimulated by penetration (which no woman has any control over) or they’re not in a sex position where their clitoris can be stimulated during intercourse (the spoon position immediately comes to mind).
When it comes to my past sexual dealings, I surpassed the TMI mark a long time ago (check out “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners” for instance). So, I’ll be the first to say that I’ve had some really large, umm, men in my lifetime and sometimes all I got out of the deal was a lot of bladder and yeast infections. In fact, the guy who gave me the most vaginal orgasms actually had one of the most average penises out of everyone. So, please don’t be out here resolved that only 9” (or hell, even the popular 8”) can please you. It’s one of the greatest lies ever told.
6 Figures in the Bank Account
Okay, so from what I’ve read and researched, somewhere around 33 percent of Americans currently make six figures (only nine percent earn a million on an annual basis). In Black households, 18 percent earn six figures. So, as far as availability and options go, that’s pretty much up with the height thing that I was talking about earlier.
Now to add some real perspective to this (beyond some women just parroting what they hear other women say), if the goal is to live a comfortable life, where you live plays a huge role in that (so does if you have and/or desire to have children). But let’s say that you’re only factoring in yourself and your future husband for the next 2-3 years or so. If you lived in Alabama, you’d currently need around $60,000 a year to be better-than-good (in the $60K range is the average for a lot of southern states), around $92,000 to live in Maryland, and — surprise, surprise — close to six figures to live in California and New York.
However, if you’re working too and you plan on contributing to the household expenses (and if you’re not…why not? It’s a fair question), then a man could still make, say, 60 or even 70 percent of what we see here and still hold things down, in all of these states, pretty damn well.
My point? When it comes to “requiring” a man — especially a Black man when only 18 percent of Black people even qualify for this particular “6” — ask yourself why that’s such a big deal to you. How much of it has to do with what you’ve heard on the internet or some ridiculous reality show? How much of it is rooted in some semi-unrealistic expectations? And most importantly, how much of it is such a big deal that you’d pass up a great man who makes $55,000 just so you can have your “6”…a “6” who just might not ever come? #justsaying
What a 6-6-6 Man Has to Say About Being in a Relationship with One:
“I’ve been a six-figure earner since I was in my late 20s. I’m well aware of the 6-6-6 phenomenon and I personally think it’s comedy because a lot of women who say they want that kind of man have no clue what his standards are — or if they do, they say that we’re full of ourselves. I’m not gonna lie — we have a lot of events where we want to show our woman off and so, there’s just a certain beauty standard that’s required."
"There are a lot of women who want us and so our patience level is pretty short because we’re not going to argue with one woman when we can find another who is far more accommodating. But the main thing that women miss about us is in order to make a lot of money, we have to do a lot of work. We just don’t have the kind of time to be doing the type of bulls — t that they see on television — three dates a week, traveling all of the time, constantly going on shopping sprees, and talking on the phone. In fact, a lot of us would be considered ‘cheap’ because we’re putting more money into investments than trying to woo a woman."
"That’s why a lot of women who’ve dated us see us as assh—es. It took a lot of work and focus on self to get where we are, especially when we’re Black. We’re very calculated on who gets to reap the benefits of that — and when.” - Dean, 45, in a long-term relationship
What a Woman with a 6-6-6 Man Has to Say About Being in a Relationship with One:
“My husband is 6’3,” I won’t share his penis size because it’s none of your business; just know that I qualify to answer this question. And as far as how much he earns, it’s around $170,000. When we first got married, that wasn’t the case. He was still in school. And although I won’t lie and say that I don’t enjoy not having to worry about how the lights are going to stay on or if we can take a vacation every summer, it all comes at a price.”
“Back when my husband was making less money, he had more time. He could also be more spontaneous. I don’t know what makes people think that [being] financially secure means more leisure time — unless you’re wealthy, rarely is that the case. I can also tell you for a fact that holding him down while he was on the ‘broker side’ of things is why he’s so willing to give to me now. Men who make a lot of money have a difficult time trusting which is why it can be hard to get them to marry you once they’ve already ‘made it.'”
“I just think that women need to be very mature, very secure, and extremely willing to make some sacrifices as far as time and expectations. You might have more money to play around with but sometimes that comes at the expense of not having him as much as you did before his tax bracket switched up on you.” - Wendell, 39, married 14 years
Trends Are Not (Automatically or Necessarily) Standards
Uh-huh. I already know. Some of y’all just read all of this and were like, “If I can’t have a 6-6-6, I’ll just stay single then.” I mean, if that’s what you want to put out into the universe, it’s your world, and the best of luck to you. I just wanted to make sure that you realized the reality of the combo and what comes along with it.
Besides, don’t let social media — hell, media in general — have you out here believing that just because they push a particular “good man narrative” down our throats that it’s actually a standard. Plenty of famous people tank their relationships on a daily basis…and many of them had a 6-6-6 man (again…just saying).
Bottom line, having preferences is fine. Just try not to be so rigid about what you think a good man is that you miss up on the right one. One who might be a bit shorter than 6 ft, whose penis might be shy of 6 inches and who may make five figures (or may have some but not all three) — but is a blue ribbon winner in standards that aren’t current trends.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?Giphy
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?Giphy
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an OrgasmGiphy
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for YouGiphy
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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