Would you be willing to show a man how to love you?
My girlfriends and I have this discussion all the time! It's not rare to meet a guy that you are head-over-heels for, but he's lacking the affection or compassion that you may need. He may think that showing you that he loves you means buying you a pair of shoes, when you may just want more alone time, surprises that require a bit more thoughtfulness or a hand-written note that makes you smile every so often.
Communication is key.
During a Q&A with xoNecole contributor Soraya Joseph, LaLa Anthony revealed four major keys to love, including being willing and open to teach your partner how to love you the way you want to be loved.
Catch them below:
The #1 Rule Of Thumb For First Dates: Go Alone
La La: Here is the number one thing: Do not bring your friends with you to your first date please! Alright? We don't need tagalongs. Go to the date. Be confident. Bring yourself. I see so many [people] that are like, 'Yeah, I'm going to meet this guy, it's my first date. And I'm bringing three of my friends.' That's not cool! So let's not bring tagalongs to our first date, OK?
Men like a woman who is doing her own thing
La La: I think a man is attracted to an independent woman. Someone who has their own thing going on. And it's different forms of being independent. Everybody is not meant to run a Fortune 500 company, that might not be everybody's dream. But you could have a hobby, you can have something you're into, and that is what you will bring to the table. Bring something that makes you valuable to the relationship and make sure you never feel like you have to depend on a man for anything. Have your own. So definitely independence is attractive to a man.
[Tweet "Bring something that makes you valuable to the relationship"]
Be open to communicating and teaching him how to love you the way you want to be loved
La La: You know, I did feel like [I had to show Carmelo things.] In all relationships, that's what it's about. It's a learning experience for both. You want to be able to teach each other things so there are also things he taught me and I was able to teach him things and I feel like that's what a healthy relationship is about.
So you know, at first, he had his ways, and he wasn't that affectionate and I was like 'I want someone more affectionate,' so through love and guiding him, I was able to get him to become more affectionate. You know, you just have to show people what you want and he did the same with me so it worked for us!
When you are engaged, it's okay to enjoy the moment versus rushing to get down the aisle
La La: Enjoy the moment. Enjoy what's happening and live in the moment...
We're always running and so busy and thinking about the next thing that you don't enjoy the moment.
So take your time and enjoy the engagement and the moment. And there is no rush! I was engaged for a very long time and people put me through the ringer for it. [They said] that I was going to be engaged forever and never get married but guess what? I did it my way and my marriage has lasted longer than half those people that were talking all of that stuff before. So do it your way and enjoy it.
What lessons have you learned while dating or in a relationship?