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365 Days Ago, I Attempted Suicide

Life & Travel

365 DAYS LATER


A year ago today I attempted suicide.

My lifeless body was unceremoniously found on a bench under the George Washington Bridge in New York City. I was completely unresponsive and was told I was a mere 5 minutes away from being unable to be revived.

5 minutes.

300 seconds.

For months I carried the burn marks on my chest from the machine that was used to jump start my heart.

But 365 days later and I am here. Alive. Kicking. Fighting. Winning. Sometimes losing. But here.

I've always been very vocal about my battle with mental illness. So many times the African American community has been too quick to shun and too slow to react, when it comes to educating and empowering those with a mental health diagnosis. I wanted to be the answer to that equation by being utterly transparent and using my story to connect with those in need.

It wasn’t always easy, but through trial and tribulation I came to learn that though bipolar disorder and depression have been a constant monkey on my back for many years, I could chose to not let it define me.

I am in control.

Today I shudder at the thought of that version of myself that made the decision to consume over 40 pills and go where I thought no one could find me so I could die in peace. Taking your own life has to be the most unnatural thing a human being can do, yet a year ago I attempted to do so with ease.

They say when I woke up in the hospital two days later I was screaming "Why didn't it work? Why didn't it work?"

I don't remember those moments, and I am honestly glad that I don't because today I want to live. And love. And be loved. And continue to use my story to inspire the uninspired.

This post was created for no other reason then to remind someone reading it that it gets better.

[Tweet "That even when despair feels all encompassing, you can walk out of it on the other side."]

Maybe you need a helping hand. Maybe you need a prescription. Maybe you need an article from a survivor on your favorite website. Who knows. But you can do it.

I did.

#365days.

Also read:   Waking Up Alive: What I Learned After Surviving My Suicide Attempt

Have you ever felt like life was too much to bear? What gave you the strength to push forward? 

_____________________________

Kasey Woods is a freelance writer, entrepreneur, mental health advocate and creator of the mental health awareness campaign, My Manic Memoirs (www.facebook.com/mymanicmemoirs).

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