I don't know about y'all, but I'm just about ready for this Hot Girl Summer to finally evolve into the Fat Girl Fall that I've been waiting on all damn year. I said what I said.
I'm ready to retire my bad chick bike shorts and slip my ass into some leisure leggings, and I know I'm not the only one. There are only a few more days until it's officially fall, and I've got my watch list ready, sis. Although I'm literally crying at the fact that Shonda Rhimes took away Olivia Pope, and now, we'll be forced to say goodbye to Annalise Keating forever, there are so many new Black AF TV shows premiering this fall, I can't stay mad long.
Here's every new and returning show we're tuning into this fall:
Wu-Tang: An American Saga (Sept. 4)
Hulu
Before cash ruled everything around them, the members of the Wu-Tang Clan were just a group of kids from New York who were trying to survive the crack-cocaine epidemic. Starring Shameik Moore, Erika Alexander, and Joey Bada$$, this limited series is streaming on Hulu right now.
Top Boy (Sept. 13)
Netflix
When this British show was canceled after two seasons and put on Netflix, it caught the attention of one of the biggest musicians in the world. After learning of the show's cancellation, Drake did what any billion-dollar binge-watcher would and made a deal to help fund the show's third season, which is currently streaming on Netflix.
American Horror Story: 1984 (Sept. 18)
FX
Although the show is missing Angela Bassett, Evan Peters, Jessica Lange, and Kathy Bates this season, AHS: 1984 promises to be just as disturbing as its predecessors. Heavily influenced by horror films, Friday: The 13th and Halloween, the ninth season of AHS will make you eternally grateful to your parents for never sending you to summer camp as a kid.
Bigger (Sept. 19)
BET
Produced by industry giant, Will Packer, Bigger is set in Little Five Points and tells the story of an East Atlanta woman who, after the death of a close friend from college, decides to get the most out of her life.
First Wives Club (Sept. 19)
BET
Based on the 1996 cult classic starring Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, and Bette Midler, First Wives Club is being rebooted and made into a series. Jill Scott, Ryan Michelle Bathe, and Michelle Buteau will star in the show as ex-wives who are seeking revenge after their marriages to sh*tty men have inevitably fallen apart.
9-1-1 (Sept. 23)
Developed by the creator of American Horror Story, 9-1-1 returns to TV for a third season on Sept. 23 and Angela Bassett's arms don't owe us anything. Chronicling the high-intensity situations that first responders experience every day, the show also stars Aisha Hinds, Connie Britton, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Mixed-ish (Sept. 24)
ABC
Giving us the prequel we didn't know we needed, Mixed-ish is an ABC sitcom spinoff that tells the story of a young Rainbow Barris and her family as they navigate life after moving from a hippie commune to the suburbs.
This Is Us (Sept. 24)
Last season was a rough one, and although we weren't sure if Beth and Randall would weather their storm, our favorite TV couple is back for another season that showrunners claim will be a "fresh start for everyone". Along with meeting Rebecca's dad, the audience will also get to see a pre-school version of the big three that is guaranteed to make your heart melt.
Black-ish (Sept. 24)
ABC
With Pop's new fiancee (played by Emmy-award winning actress Loretta Devine), a much-needed Girlfriends reunion, and just as much black love as ever before, Black-ish is returning to TV for a sixth season, and we are here for all of it.
How to Get Away with Murder (Sept. 26)
ABC
This fall, How to Get Away with Murder will return for a sixth and final season and my heart cannot bear the pain. Shonda Rhimes and the HTGAWM squad have given us almost a decade's worth of sex, lies, and betrayal, and this year, the Keating 5's story will come to an end with an explosive final season where all of our questions will finally be answered.
God Friended Me (Sept. 26)
CBS
I'm not sure what I'd do if God sent me a friend request, but I know the first thing I'd have to do is remove my booty short pics from the '99s to the 2000s. In a show about the importance of spiritual connection in a digital world, we see a group of friends prove that God acts in mysterious ways and makes you wonder if your blessing could be waiting in your inbox.
Evil (Sept. 26)
CBS
When a criminal psychologist and a 6-pack having, Bible-toting priest-in-training link up to investigate the extraordinary phenomenon that has occurred in unexplained mysteries, all hell breaks loose (and I mean that literally). Developed by the creators of The Good Wife, this psychological drama stars Mike Colter and premieres on CBS for its first season on Sept. 26.
The Good Place (Sept. 26)
NBC
Back for a fourth and final season, the show about heaven, hell, and the importance of The Golden Rule is coming to an end and we'll finally learn if our favorite inhabitants of the afterlife finally make it to "The Good Place".
The Godfather of Harlem (Sept. 29)
Epix
Am I the only person who just realized Forest Whitaker and Kenn Whitaker are two different people? Mind. Blown. The Godfather of Harlem is a true story about the life of Harlem crime-boss named (played by Forest) turned hood philanthropist named Bumpy Johnson who worked closely with Malcom X in the '60s.
Raising Dion (Oct. 4)
Netflix
When Nicole Reese (played by Alisha Wainright) loses her husband (played by Michael B. Jordan) and is left to raise her young son Dion on her own, things only get more complicated when she learns that he has superpowers. The Netflix series follows Nicole and her son as they attempt to navigate his newfound abilities and understand their origin.
Black Lightning (Oct. 7)
The CW
When the daughters of a superhero-turned-high school principal are kidnapped, he reverts to his life as a vigilante and learns that his superhuman genetics run in the family. Back for a third season, the DC-comic show promises to dig deeper into the psyche of Black Lightning's arch-nemesis, Tobias.
Rhythm + Flow (Oct. 9)
Netflix
In the first-ever major hip-hop competition on Netflix, Cardi B, Chance The Rapper, and T.I. travel to some of the country's top cities to find the industry's next break-out artist.
Watchmen (Oct. 20)
In this comic book-inspired HBO series where superheroes are treated as outlaws, Regina King holds nothing back in opening up a good old fashioned can of whoop-ass on criminals and wrongdoers alike.
Featured image by NBC.
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And even though it really does seem like, over the past 50-60 years or so, virginity has been looked at as something that should be ridiculed, side-eyed, or even flat-out dismissed, I don’t feel that way at all. Fourteen sex partners and many lessons later, I actually get that there are many perks that come with waiting. Not only that, but I’ve encountered enough virgins in my time to get that, like most things in life, virginity is not a monolith, there are tons of reasons why people choose not to have sex until later in life and, if there’s one thing that you can’t really “do over” (because no, there is no such thing as a “born-again virgin.” You lose your virginity ONCE) is “losing” your virginity (I prefer to say “giving.” You know where it is)— being careful and even uber-cautious about how and when your first time goes down is something that I very much so respect.
You don’t have to take my word for it, though. As someone who gave my “conscious virginity” (I am a survivor of molestation, which is why I put it that way) at 19, I wanted to hear from women of that age and older who still haven’t “partaken of the fruit” just yet. First, to give their journey a voice and second, to remind others who may not be so vocal about their own virginal sexual status that, no matter what social media may be yapping about, when it comes to the topic of virginity, they are certainly not alone — and there is definitely nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
*Per usual, when it comes to these types of interviews that I conduct, middle names have been used.*
GiphyLynn. 27.
“It’s not like I planned to be this age and still a virgin. When I was in high school, I thought I would be married by now. I’m not, and that’s why I’m still a virgin. Does this mean I’m waiting until marriage? I am. I don’t see the point in giving some man my all without that level of commitment. I personally admire women who can because I don’t have the emotional strength or mental stamina to go through that kind of stress or pain — especially multiple times. I just think there is already enough to worry about in life than if I’m gonna get an STD, get pregnant by someone I don’t want to deal with for the rest of my life, or even if some man is going to call the next day.
"And before y’all even start — yes, I know that marriage comes with risks too. But if a man is willing to pledge his life to me and sign a legal contract to prove it just to get some, I’d rather go that route than some dude I met at a club or a guy who I dated for a couple of months, and it didn’t work out. To each their own, and this is the way that I choose to do it.”
Eileen. 22.
“I’ve always been called an old soul. I don’t think that 22 is old, but it is old, these days, to be a virgin. Some people assume that I’m one for religious reasons. Really, it’s because I’m observant, and my sisters and friends who already gave it up usually had more drama in their lives than anything. I just want my first time to be with someone who, when I look back on it, I don’t have regrets. I’m not looking for the perfect guy, but damn, can he at least not ghost me, give me an orgasm, and keep the moment to himself instead of telling all of his boys? I don’t think that’s too much to ask — and if it is…oh well.”
GiphyIris. 21.
“The question I get asked all of the time is if I’m saving it for marriage. I am. I used to say that I was waiting until I got engaged or at least fell in love, but I have friends who did that, and months after they had sex, the guys were gone. I know that marriage doesn’t guarantee anything, but I have some other friends who were virgins on their wedding night, and their lives just seem to be less intense.
“Not having sex has shown the true colors and real agendas of a lot of guys, so while it does get lonely, being this way makes it easier to see who is serious about a relationship and who just wants to get their d — k wet. Virginity can be the ultimate male marriage material predictor. At least it’s been that way for me.”
Kya. 20.
“I almost gave it up to my first love, and ‘he’ didn’t happen until college. The break-up damn near turned me into a basket case, so that proved to me that I’m not really for a sexual relationship. I think the best way to explain it is, until I know that I can emotionally handle giving myself to someone and it possibly not working out, I need to stay just where I’m at…and I’m just not there yet.”
GiphyRuth. 19.
“The timing of this is crazy because I almost lost my virginity last weekend. It’s a long story, but I was going to give it to a guy friend because I want my first time to be with someone who I trust. We didn’t go through with it because he said that he didn’t want to chance me regretting it and it ruining our friendship. I think it’s interesting that it seems that men value a woman’s virginity more than women do these days. Anyway, all I know is it won’t be just some random guy. If I don’t trust you with my heart, you will never be able to have my body. My standard will definitely be someone who was my friend first.”
Sherelle. 27.
“I’ve been too busy to give up my virginity. Sounds crazy, but it’s still the truth. I’ve always been very career-driven, so after getting my master’s, I decided to do a lot of traveling and then buy a home. It’s probably been over the past few months that my sexual status has even crossed my mind because dating just hasn’t been a priority.
“I guess you can say that having a full life is why I’m a virgin. When I can fit a man into my schedule, and I find him just as stimulating as what I currently have going on, I can almost assure you that my sexual status will change. Until then…stamps on the passport are my orgasms.”
GiphyVada. 23.
“I’ve had plenty of oral sex — not giving, receiving. Some people say that, technically, I’m not a virgin anymore, but I guess I’ll speak for the women who fall into my special situation. The reason why I’ve never gone down on a guy is because I want that to be reserved for the one [who] I first have intercourse with. The reason why several have gone down on me? You know how guys are — they see virginity as a challenge and will go the distance to be the first. If they wanna try, who am I to stop them?
"As far as what I’m waiting on…I don’t really see it as ‘waiting.' I am open to it. I just haven’t been with someone who seems like he is who I should give it to. I think that the guy who never brings sex up will probably be the one who piques my interest. I’m already a challenge. I think I’m looking for someone who is one, too.”
Aleena. 19.
“I’m a virgin because I’m focused. There are too many women at my school who are so distracted because of what some guy is doing or didn’t do — and I don’t have the time. I want to be able to have my master’s degree before my 23rd birthday, and I’m on the way to making that happen. I haven’t told anyone this, but the present I want to give myself is losing my virginity for graduation. I think an orgasm for all of my hard work makes sense. I know who I want the guy to be, too. He doesn’t know. Hope he doesn’t blow it. I’ll try to keep you posted.”
GiphyPayge. 31.
“All of the holy books value virginity, and that’s why you will never be able to convince me that there is not a serious spiritual breakdown in our society. What used to be respected is now a so-called social construct, and to me, that sounds like so many people are so hyper-sexed with no real reason or purpose that they want to take the ‘misery loves company’ approach — that because they weren’t taught to value virtue and virginity, they want as many other people as possible to follow suit. That will never be me. Until I meet the man who is deserving of being the first and only to enter into my body and spirit, I will remain a virgin and very proud of it.”
Ella. 36.
“I honestly don’t know why I’m still a virgin. Remember how you told me [Shellie] that after the first couple of years of abstinence, you got pickier and pickier? That’s the way I’ve been all of my life. I’m sure that sex is amazing, but it’s also complicated, physically kind of messy, and exposes you to a world of stuff that you don’t have to think about when you’re a virgin. I’m not scared to have sex, but I’m not in a rush. Look at me — I’m sure I’ll open these legs up one day, but I’m not checking off the calendar or anything. When I have room to explore the good and bad of sex, I’ll be more aggressive about it.”
____
There you have it — proof that there are at least ten virgins on the planet who aren’t still in high school. And what I like about each of them is there is both a confidence and focus outside of their sexual status that serves as a great reminder that sex is a part of who we are yet…it’s certainly not everything. And you know what? It never was designed to be.
So yes, kudos to them for having a personal type of conviction, for whatever the reason, and standing by it.
Virgins or not, it’s a reminder that we all should be firm in our standards about…something.
Amen? 1000 percent.
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Featured image by Giphy
