10 Creative Date Ideas For Couples On A Budget
Have you ever wondered where the true origins of holidays come from? I do, so I tend to research 'em. For instance, St. Patrick's Day? Long story short, he was a non-Irish slave who fled Ireland as a teen and then came back to teach Christianity to Irish people. And St. Valentine's Day? Legend has it that he was a man who was martyred for marrying Christian couples at a time when the emperor preferred men go to war than have a family. Pretty fascinating, right? Now watch how I'm about to tie all of this together.
Me? I'm a huge fan of marriage. That's why, whenever I hear someone say that Valentine's Day is a joke, I'm kind of like, "If there is any holiday that deserves some love from married folks, it should be Valentine's Day", just from the origin of it alone.
At the same time, I get that it's a holiday that can stress couples out because while the wife is wondering if her husband will observe it right (and by that, she usually means thoughtfully and romantically), the husband is wondering if his wife will do anything for him at all (it's not just a day for women; it's a day for couples).
If you happen to fall into this category or, your real issue this year is your money is tight, I've got a few ways that you and yours can celebrate the holiday without causing any financial drama on the back-end. As a bonus, these are the kinds of ideas that two can truly play. That way, your husband can enjoy the day rather than simply grinning and bearing it.
1.Have an Indoor Picnic
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I'm not sure why the idea of putting a blanket on the ground and eating food on top of it is so romantic to so many of us, but I'll co-sign on the fact that it is. If you're an outdoorsy kind of person, I fully support having some soup, grilled cheese, and hot cocoa with your sweetheart at a park somewhere for lunch. But most of us ain't gettin' down like that in the dead of winter, so the alternative is an indoor picnic.
To pull this off, it's more about the ambiance than the food. First, make an indoor tent (Pinterest has all sorts of cool ideas; so does YouTube). Then put on some 90s R&B (you can never go wrong with that), light some scented soy candles (jasmine, vanilla, and cinnamon are all aphrodisiacs) and have some food delivered. It's simple. It's sweet. And it's totally stress-less. Just like how Valentine's Day should be.
2.Reenact Your First Date
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OK, this suggestion right here only works if your first date together was a good one. So if it was, taking a stroll down memory lane is a great way to bring some of the butterflies back.
Thanks to Amazon, YouTube, Hulu, Netflix and On Demand, you can find just about any movie on the planet. Or, if your first date was at a restaurant or coffee shop, if you call ahead, many managers will be more than happy to reserve the same table that you had or come up with something special for you and yours to dine on in order to commemorate where your first date has brought the two of you.
3.Eat Out on the Low
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Speaking of eating out, if there is a restaurant that you adore but the prices on the menu are a little steep, see if they have a happy hour. 8 times out of 10, if you go during that time, you can get discounts on a lot of their items.
Some other tips for saving money on dining is to sign up for e-clubs, follow your favorite eateries online (restaurants are known for posting specials on IG and Twitter), and purchase discounted gift cards. It's not uncommon for restaurants to also offer an extra $10-25 cash reward if you purchase a gift card from them at a certain price.
4.Deliver Something Sweet (or Cool) to Each Other’s Jobs
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I try and tell husbands as much as possible that they can earn some major points if they deliver some roses to their wife (on a day other than their birthday or anniversary) every once in a while. The same thought applies to Valentine's Day — for both men and women.
As far as what you can have delivered, the ideas are endless! A favorite bottle of wine. A favorite dessert. Chocolate-covered strawberries. A subscription service for lingerie (trust me, your husband will like getting this sent to him just as much as you would appreciate receiving it). Or, if you know your man would appreciate something that's more on the light-and-fun side, how about a classic Nintendo system or tickets to an upcoming concert or game? Include a note about how much you love them too.
Being able to show your romantic side off to their co-workers will totally make their day.
5.Cash Some “Sex Checks”
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A couple of days ago, I read an article on sex coupons. When I went to Amazon to check them out, I saw something that I found to be even cuter — sex checks. Each packet includes 30 IOUs and 30 UOMEs.
If you add to these a bottle of DIY massage oil (all you need to do is mix some lavender oil with some sweet almond oil and heat it up), some edible body paint (you can buy some here or get a recipe to make your own here) and a couple of glasses of a love potion cocktail, you should be in for a really adventurous night. (Remember not to write a check you can't cash!)
6.Cook Each Other’s Favorite Meals Together
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Did you know that a lot of reputable therapists believe that a key to a couple's longevity is to cook together? It's a great way to spend quality time with one another and learn new things. There are also studies to support that cooking with your spouse reduces stress and can even lead to more and better sex as well.
Use this Valentine's Day as an opportunity to cook something neither of you has ever had before (first times for things are always sexy) or cook each other's favorite dishes. Who knows? The home-cooked dinner on the table could lead to some— eh hem — mighty fine dessert on the kitchen floor afterwards.
7.Buy Some “Breakaway” Lingerie
If you're a lingerie connoisseur, you already know that one nice piece of a lil' sumthin' sumthin' can easily run you over 75 bucks. But if you're on a budget and you want to get something new for your man to look at for the sake of Valentine's Day, there are all kinds of places where you can buy, what I call "breakaway lingerie". Literally, something that breaks away from the routine.
Arie is dope because it's got casual sleepwear, plus it features models that aren't photoshopped. Lane Bryant is cool because it's got something for the super curvy ladies (Ashley Stewart and Hips and Curves does too). If you love you some lace, LACELAB on Etsy has definitely got your back. If BDSM with a touch of romance is more your speed, Blossom Body features a nice collection. Or, if a sheer teddy is exactly what you have in mind, hit up Missguided. You'll be able to find one there
8.Stay at a Vacation House or Airbnb
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If you don't want to travel out of town but you want to get out of the house, and the thought of a hotel causes you to yawn with boredom, how about a vacation house or Airbnb? You'll end up with a lot more space and, oftentimes, the costs are much cheaper too.
To be fair, out of all of the things I've suggested, this one probably falls more in the "under $100-150" range. But I still listed it because I saw some vacation home rentals in my own city for $30-50. (Home to Go is a good starting point.)
9.Make a 12-Month Date Calendar
One year, a friend of mine's husband did something on her birthday that earned him all kinds of ooos and ahhs. He bought a calendar and then strategically planned out dates for the entire year. I mean, dates that he literally thought out, twice a month, until her following birthday.
What I adore about this idea is it's a reminder that proactiveness is not only underrated but super sexy too. And you know what? Since there are studies to support that monthly dates are one of the keys to keeping a marriage together, it's a great way to show that quality time with your partner is a top priority — no matter what.
10.Update Your Wedding Vows and Frame Them
It doesn't matter if a couple comes to me for a tune-up (we get our oil changed every 3,000 miles, so why shouldn't spouses check-in with a counselor a couple of times a year?) or they are on their last leg, something that I suggest is that they write down 10-15 things that they love about their spouse and then put it up someplace where they can see it daily.
Along these same lines, it's probably a good idea to frame your wedding vows somewhere around the house too, just as a reminder that your husband is not your boyfriend and your wife is not your girlfriend. Your commitment is a lot more serious (and legal) than that.
Then, maybe alongside your original vows, post some upgraded ones too. You know, the things that you want to promise now that you know more about what marriage is really all about. Think about it — what does "for better or for worse" really mean now that you've been through some things?
Both of you updating your vows can bring some humor to your Valentine's Day; it can also be a reminder of just how far you've come and just how "in this" the two of you really are.
Out of all of the things I've shared, this one is probably the most inexpensive and invaluable.
Happy Valentine's Day, married folks!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Be The Ultimate Seductress On Valentine's Day With These Lingerie Looks – Read More
He Loves Me Like XO! 6 Women Share Their Perfect Date Stories – Read More
I Discovered My Husband's Love Language ...And It Changed Everything – Read More
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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After Solo Travel Burnout, A Group Retreat In Luxury Was The Return To Sisterhood I Needed
Solo travel has been gaining in popularity among Black women for years, with many choosing to do adventures alone for various reasons. In fact, 70 percent of women, overall, enjoy solo trips. We've even shifted the landscape of travel trends and offerings, with hotels, resorts, and travel agents offering the "perfect" solo travel packages or lists of the "best places for solo travel."
I've been in a solo travel season for about seven years now, venturing out alone to see the world. I'd welcomed the solitude after years of family members flaking, showing disinterest, or simply not being able to afford to travel. It was also just what I needed after a few rough and utterly traumatic years of toxic relationships, major betrayals, and lackluster reciprocity from so-called friends.
I also fell in love during that period and was in a long-distance relationship, so I'd often solo travel to meet up with bae.
But like anything you go hard at for a long period of time, burnout soon comes knocking, and I'd recently been yearning to finally get back into connection with other women, sharing memories and experiences in a group versus just by myself.
There's something very isolating and lonely in solo traveling, and as much as I love my man, I began craving sisterhood and friendship with other women.
When I got the opportunity to experience the Fab Body Retreat—an experience for women, by women—hosted at the luxurious all-inclusive Sonesta Ocean Point Resort in St. Maarten, I more than jumped. The fitness and wellness retreat, launched by Deanna Robinson, a health and wellness advocate and entrepreneur, turned out to be just what I needed. I not only got the chance to visit an island I'd never been to but I had fun with a great group of Black women professionals and entrepreneurs.
I was able to process through the trauma, bitterness, and hurt I'd felt and get past the long-standing apprehensions I'd had about connecting personally with other women.
Janell Hazelwood for xoNecole
A 'Royal' Introduction And Networking
The first night, we enjoyed a "Royal Dinner" where we all wore blue under the night stars and with the ocean as our backdrop. We all got a chance to introduce ourselves and enjoy Caribbean dishes including marinated snapper, rice and peas, stewed meats, and other assorted side dishes.
Mia Benjamin/@socialbymjh
Janell Hazelwood for xoNecole
Fitness And Fun
Initially, I was a bit apprehensive about the fitness part, as I'd been struggling to lose the same 20 lbs for the last two years. To be honest, I wasn't excited about wearing a bikini around other women, nor was I looking forward to working out at the wee hours of the morning. But I'd made a pact with myself to open up and show up. And that, I did.
The whole theme of the retreat was "Elevation," so it was important for me to look past my hangups and stretch myself to get back on track with connection, timeliness, and openness.
Bright and early on the resort's beach, we had morning workouts, strengthening our core and incorporating cardio. These workouts were scheduled into almost every day of the 4-day retreat, and it was surprisingly fun. Some of the activities were perfect for team-building and competition, reviving my love of sport and recreation. Deanna, Sihnuu Hetep, yoga practitioner and educator, Rachel Martin, co-founder of Morph Transformation Center, and M'Balia Rucker led the retreat fitness activities, adding dance and other interactive elements and making working out more enjoyable. And, of course, getting the energy from the sun and sea was a plus.
It was energizing. To see women of all shapes, ages, sizes, and levels of fitness, and to be affirmed in that diversity of capabilities was empowering and renewed my sense of optimism about restarting my wellness journey to get back into more healthy eating and exercise habits.
We also enjoyed a luxe yacht party, where we cruised the beautiful waters of St. Maarten, enjoying a special Caribbean meal of curry chicken, rice, salad, assorted juices, and unlimited mimosas. The vibes were chill, and many of us enjoyed a dip in the water or snorkeling, while others preferred chatting while sunbathing and reflecting.
I met sisters who'd traveled from Bowie, Maryland who reminded me of my own beloved aunts: one, a vibrant and accomplished saxophonist named Sharon Thomas, and another, Iris Lattimore, founder of Lattimore's Funnel Cakes. They each told me of their own experiences of traveling the world together, visiting every Caribbean island, and holding dear their sister bond, spread between their extended family in the Washington D.C.-Maryland-Virginia (DMV) area.
Janell Hazelwood for xoNecole
Slumber And Pool Parties
The itinerary also included a slumber party, where we all wore our pajamas and sat on pillows and lounge chairs amid soothing blue tones. There were small bites available, and panelists, including licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Alicia Hodge and entrepreneurs Zakia Blain (CEO of apparel line FBF Body), Brittney Carter (founder, B. Carter Solutions), and Natalie Nicole Smith (founder, the NNAgency Inc., and NNBody), sharing their phenomenal personal experiences with loss, renewal, and growth, very fitting for the theme of the night.
I was able to open up and safely release my trauma of feeling hurt by past misunderstandings. I truly gained a sense of support from the women in the room who could relate. The environment was very respectful, and the vibes made me feel like I was among family. One common theme among all of us, from diverse industries, life experiences, and parts of the U.S., was resilience and a belief in the dynamic power of women supporting women. It was refreshing to connect with like-minded, down-to-earth individuals who are all about pouring into other women.
We also shared small Caribbean bites, coffee, and tea to complement the night's questions and confessions. Deanna urged us all to tap into how we might be elevating beyond our fears, past traumas, and even a few current challenges, which women openly shared as well in the safe space.
Janell Hazelwood for xoNecole
The final night was all about pool fun, where we played volleyball, enjoyed a DJ spinning Caribbean and Top 100 hits and live entertainment by carnival-inspired performers, and got to enjoy the night air. We all were able to simply enjoy one another's company and get one last dance and dip in the pool in before it would be time to wake up early for a final morning workout and the transportation (also included with the retreat's amenities) to catch our flights back home.
While this was a wellness retreat, there was a special mix of enjoyment where you could partake in the open bar if you wanted to or drink fresh juices and water. It didn't feel like I was forced into an extreme version of "wellness" or "fitness" and I could pace myself in order to find the right sort of balance for me.
Backdrop Of All-Inclusive Luxury
One huge part about the trip that I loved was, after years of attending conferences in the backdrop of paradise and feeling like I never got a chance to actually enjoy the environment, there was a great balance between scheduled activities and free time to develop deeper, more personal connections with self and members of the group, an intergenerational community of women ages 30 to 65.
The 130-suite adults-only “resort within a resort” has four pools (including a Seascape pool with a swim-up bar), four bars, and three restaurants, including the signature Azul restaurant, which was my favorite. It had its own private beach and a fresh-water pool that afforded me cliff-side views of the ocean.
The 24-hour room service was divine, and you could work out on your own with a view of the grounds from the state-of-the-art fitness center, open-air well-being area, and private cabanas. The resort also offered nightly entertainment to enjoy with the group and a gaming emporium, Casino Royale.
I was also able to enjoy a meal (from a local spot within walking distance outside of the resort) of curry goat and roti, one of my favorite dishes reflective of my love of Trinidadian food. The community there, from the hospitality professionals at the resort to the vacationers, was diverse. I met people from Guyana, Trinidad, Jamaica, and Europe in the short time I was there.
Sonesta Ocean Point Resort, St. Maarten
Sonesta Ocean Point Resort, St. Maarten
This retreat not only reminded me that sister bonds are necessary, but it allowed me to see that the past can be left there and that the present is full of opportunities to meet new, amazing women. The Fab Body Retreat was a manifestation of the founder's commitment to women's empowerment and love and was reflected in her efforts to include Black- and women-owned businesses in everything, including her gift bags (featuring items from brands Mela Vitamins, Mischo Beauty, and Vigor Roots) and contract women-owned vendors (IV Event Rentals).
It was the perfect boost of positivity and affirmation I needed to continue in my journey to heal and reconnect with the beauty of Black women's kinship and connective force.
For more information on the next Fab Body Retreat, visit their website or follow them on Instagram @fabbodyretreat.
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Featured image by Alvaro Medina Jurado/Getty Images