10 Motivational Mantras From Michelle Obama
There is something so regal, yet authentic, about our forever First Lady Michelle Obama. Even in a room filled with more than 20,000 people, her energy is electric and contagious, and her words are positively piercing and powerful. As a black woman, I am blessed to say this was more than true for me during my recent experience at the "I Am Becoming" tour in Atlanta, Georgia.
If I've learned anything from Michelle Obama, her book, and now her tour, I am embracing the fact that I am becoming the best version of myself.
My past and present is molding me into the future woman I'm becoming…through faith in God and the woman that God created me to be.
There is no way I can possibly duplicate the Michelle Obama experience, and honestly, I'm still trying to take it all in. However, if you love positive affirmations like I do, then hopefully you will be empowered and encouraged by some of the insights that were shared from none other than Michelle Obama.
"Believe in the validity of who you are and have the courage to share your story."
Part of why we love Michelle Obama so much is because she's so honest about who she is and where she's been. We see ourselves when we see Michelle. That's why it's so important to be authentically you and embrace who you are. Your story matters – to you and to others like you. Trust and believe there is someone out there waiting to hear your story.
"We (minorities) have been told 'these things aren't for you,’ but we have to push through the negative images they have of us…Don’t listen to them.”
Ignore the dream killers and let your Black Girl Magic shine. "Trust your dopeness" and believe that you are more than capable and equipped to do what you were created to do. Like they say, "You're gonna get this Black Girl Magic today!"
"It's up to me to establish and define my voice."
Don't allow anyone else to define your voice. During the Obama presidency, there were so many people and entities – including the media – who tried to tell us who Michelle Obama was, but ultimately she defined her own narrative. She told her story and didn't let those voices silence hers. Now, more than ever, she is one of the most powerful voices in the world. How will you define your voice?
"If you're always running and doing things, you miss the times to celebrate yourself and show gratitude."
GiphyWhen was the last time you took a moment and celebrated your accomplishments? Sometimes we become so obsessed with planning for tomorrow that we miss the blessing of today. Sis, I know you have a lot more that you want to do, but don't forget to take the time to celebrate how much you've already achieved.
“If they want the power, then they want us to not want it. The White House was just another table that others thought I didn’t belong at.”
dcfunemployment.files.wordpress.com
They've been telling us for decades that we don't belong and we can't have a seat at the table, but we do belong and our voices will be heard. Michelle Obama, along with so many others, have made that clear. Let Michelle Obama serve as inspiration considering the fact that she's been in a lot of powerful rooms and she's gone to a lot of powerful places. If they still don't give you a seat at the table, then make your own.
“A lot of times, people make decisions based on the limited information they have. They decide for you what you should reach for. I had to listen to the truth of who I was.”
Michelle shared so many stories about some of her past counselors and advisors who discouraged her because of their limited view of who she was as a black woman. She easily recalled all of those "no's" and everyone who tried to tell her what she could and couldn't do, and her response was simply, "I'll show you." Hence, let that be your response to your naysayers – "I'll show you." Don't allow other people's stereotypes, and their limited knowledge of you, keep you in a box.
“Going low is a sign of weakness.”
It's not always easy to take the high road when they go low. However, for Michelle and Barack, they realized that their reactions and their legacy were more important and bigger than other people's desire for immediate gratification. Remember, what you say today can impact what others say about you later on.
"Don't sit in isolation with your problems."
GiphySis, you are not alone. Seek wisdom from those around you because many of us, as women, go through similar situations especially when it comes to life and love. Nobody's life is perfect and nobody's relationship is perfect. May we be inspired to be more transparent not only about the success, but about our stories and struggles as well.
“Our words can lift a child up or cut them down.”
Words matter, and as Michelle reminded us "we owe it to our young people to be better." May our words ignite young people's dreams and passions, and encourage them to embrace and become who they desire to be.
“The simple things and pleasures – love, stability, consistency, honesty, kindness, values…sometimes we forget that’s the truth.”
At the end of the day, it's the simple things that bring about happiness. A happy life is less about financial gain, fame, or fortune; rather, it's about what we do with the gift of life that we've been given.
May every woman reading this be inspired to continue on the journey to becoming the best version of yourself. There will be people will try to tell you who you should be, what you should do, or even what you can't do, but like Michelle told us, "don't listen to them!" Even though people may underestimate you, God can upgrade you.
Featured image by Getty Images
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Instagram Accounts That Will Keep Your Soul Quenched
What Michelle Obama Taught Us About Becoming More Than A Wife
7 Biographies & Memoirs That Will Motivate You
- Michelle Obama quotes: Inspirational speeches from the former First ... ›
- 18 inspiring quotes by former First Lady Michelle Obama ›
- Inspiring Quotes From Michelle Obama's “Becoming” Book Tour ... ›
- 46 Truly Inspiring Michelle Obama Quotes | Wealthy Gorilla ›
- 35 Inspirational Michelle Obama Quotes On Success ... ›
- 15 of Michelle Obama's most inspiring quotes about work, marriage ... ›
- 21 Inspiring Quotes From Michelle Obama | Inc.com ›
Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images