Quantcast

10 Matriarchs Over The Age Of 60 Give Their Best Life & Love Advice

Love & Relationships

Since being a little girl, we've all heard the saying that "With age, comes wisdom."


However, it's only recently that I've begun to see this wisdom unravel within myself in regards to my romantic relationships.

In finally gaining the perspective it takes to someday claim wisdom, I've found the "aha" moments to be the most thrilling part of the experience because in the most eloquent way, it screams: "Not with the shit. Not today."

It's indicative of me finding, nurturing, and centering in on my grown woman because, as my parents tried to tell me time and time again, "I don't care how old you are. You're not grown. 18 is not grown." And although this speech normally served as a friendly reminder that I'm not too old to catch a beat down, it can seamlessly be applied to here too.

Being grown is a mindset, not a number and it means embracing my readiness to be a reflection of that in my dating life and those who I attract.

Nonetheless, I'm able to recognize that my seedlings of wisdom are still so newly planted within that it doesn't have many petals to pluck from. Have I learned a little something? Of course. But I'm still too young and yet old enough to know that any knowledge gained during year 25 cannot begin to compare to that of the women who have come before me. The real gritty and honest wisdom lies amongst the matriarchs in my life and likely yours too.

If you talk to most matriarchal figures, they have found a certain peace with the events that take place in their lives -- good, bad, and ugly. They can sit and talk to you with just enough bias to impart big wisdom upon you, knowledge that your young years could never touch without guidance. It's as comforting as it is insightful.

I asked 10 black matriarchal figures, who have likely experienced love, heartache, and healing to pass down a solid piece of advice for us younger women. Here's what they had to say.

Jeanie, 72

"Make sure who you want and what you want is right there from the beginning. If you meet someone that you have to remake, then keep walking. Be picky. How you start out with a man is how you end up; If you start out allowing a man to take advantage of you and walk all over you, then that's how the course of your relationship will go. So, I've made sure I was the dominant force in all of my relationships."

Sandra, 75

"Always listen to your inner self. Seek someone who has the same core values and expectations in life that you do. No one will be perfect, so identify anything that really bothers you and ask yourself if this is something you can really live with without compromising your values. Never think that you can change someone's behavior."

"Select someone who enhances your life and is able to extend your knowledge base and makes you feel beautiful and important."

Vicki, 67

"Don't allow any man nor woman to lower your self-esteem. At all times, know your self-worth and don't lose yourself to the first man who says those three charming words. Education and knowledge are the key to becoming a strong black woman. But, most of all love yourself first."

Willie Mae, 91

"Know who you are and find out who they are. Meaning, you know yourself before meeting someone, but do all that you can to find out who they are before moving forward."

Gertrude, 78

"Always be open and honest with each other. Make sure that in the beginning you tell one another what you're willing and not willing to do. Never allow a man to tell you what you can and cannot do. Never let him have that power. Regardless of if you're married or dating, always have something in your name..."

"Be sure that should anything happens, you can stand on your own – never depend on no man."

Yvonne, 63

"Falling and being in love is absolutely wonderful. Sharing your love with someone else can add another dimension to your life. But, we must be careful not to lose our sense of self, our self-respect and a sense of balance in the relationship. Above all, however, we must never feel incomplete without a significant other. Independence is a wonderful thing!"

Izola, 76

"Don't just run after someone you're so in love with, make sure they love you too. That means they take care of you, comfort you, and protect you. Always be willing to ask for forgiveness, be humble, sweet, and kind. Speak softly and think about what you're going to say before you say it, because once you say it you can't take it back."

Mildred, 93

"It's three places to find a good husband -- at work, at church, or at school."

"They say that because if you find a husband in one of those three places, you'll usually know someone who knows something about them, whereas if you meet someone in the street you may not know anything about them."

Beverly, 77

"Make it last by not stepping on each other's toes, we both have our own activities we enjoy doing and support each other."

Peaches, 78

"Be friends first. Don't fall in love too fast."

Featured image by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Y'all know we love a multi-hyphenate. Adrienne Bailon is that and then some. Over the years, our favorite Cheetah Girl has remained relevant with evolving identities from singer to actress to entrepreneur. Despite her first dream job of being an obstetrician, Adrienne's emergence as a superstar back in 1999 has proven that she is unafraid to experiment. Most importantly, The Real co-host's mission is centered around authenticity and transparency.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

Although it tends to happen less and less (finally), sometimes I will still get skeptics who will ask me, "How are you qualified to work with married couples if you've never been married before?" While I have a few answers for that, as it specifically pertains to the topic at hand, how I'll oftentimes respond is, "I know what it's like to be a child of divorce. Twice, in fact. We've got more insight than you think."

Keep reading... Show less

Like most people, I have a love/hate relationship with Sundays. On the positive side, I love Sundays because it's normally my day to unapologetically indulge in an endless amount of mimosas and delicious bites while catching up with my girls at the latest day party. But after the mimosas are gone, the food has been digested, and the music stops, I'm back at home, looking at my upcoming reality - Monday.

Keep reading... Show less

Solange's Saint Heron creative platform is giving back to the community through literature. Saint Heron's Instagram page announced the launch of a free community library that will highlight rare literature from Black writers.

Keep reading... Show less

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks about love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

When it comes to sexuality, there have always been societal limitations centered on what is "acceptable." However, with more honest conversations about how fluid sexuality and sexual expression can be, now there are so many more opportunities for self-exploration and taking back ownership of our identities again. One couple that is living their truth and being sexual beings unapologetically while living and loving their lives are Jasmine Johnson and King Noire.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Jill Scott Talks Balance, 'Highway To Heaven' & Not Burning Herself Out To Produce

In this exclusive, the actress dishes on executive producing the reboot, and balancing business and motherhood.

Latest Posts