Quantcast

10 Secrets To Feeling Super Sexy (When You Don't)

Beauty & Fashion

Rihanna. Ryan Destiny. DeWanda Wise. Jill Scott. Kelly Rowland. Nicole and Bria Murphy. Kelis. Tika Sumpter. Yara Shahidi. Meagan and L'Myia Good. Janelle Monáe. Toni Braxton. Leela James. Karen Obilom. Nia Long. Lynn Whitfield. Lauren London. Sanaa Lathan. The late Aaliyah. Kerry Washington (especially in the movie She Hate Me). I could go on and on, Lord knows, but when I think of celebrity women who are also quite sexy (at least to me), those are some of the ones who immediately come to mind.


What's dope about the list is they're all different when it comes to their look, their style and their age. At the same time, what they each have in common is there's a hint of mystery and exoticness about them.

Regardless of your sexual preference, when you see them, you tend to do a double-take and, if you were the type to share your WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday), they are the kind of women who would be on your list. They are appealing. They are exciting. Yep—they are sexy.

The reason why I listed them is because if I threw out the names of some of my friends or the woman who does my nails or this chick that I always see whenever I go to a particular mall, you wouldn't have a point of reference. My point in saying that is, a lot of women exude sexiness regardless of size, economic status or platform. Not only that, but just by being a woman alone, there are simple things that we can do to turn the volume up on our own sexiness in 10 minutes or less.

If you've got days when you don't feel your best but you want to feel a little more sultry, risqué or even glamorous, I think if you try some of the following hacks, you'll start feeling intensely excited about your own damn self. After all, the sexiest women radiate from the inside out, not the outside in. That is the foundational key for all things sexy.

1. Invest in Some Sexy Underwear

Giphy

I'll be working on an article about the expiration dates of various things soon enough. But for now, just know that if you haven't gotten new bras and panties within the past 6-12 months, you are seriously overdue. If you know that some of your underwear has been in your drawers for at least three Christmases, treat your body to some new stuff. Then make sure that some of what you get is on the sexy side—lace bras, high-cut panties…things that make you feel like you've got a hot date with the finest man alive whenever you put that kind of stuff on (even if you don't).

Oh, and if you're like me and, because your "girls" are on the super-big-and-full side, it's hard to find sexy brassieres, one of the other writers here wrote about some of the sexy bras that she loves. Also, an overseas brand that I've come to adore is Figleaves. I can personally attest to the fact that the way you move changes when your undies are on the sexy tip.

2. Paint Your Nails (a Blue-Based) Red

Unsplash

Red is a fascinating color. As far as color psychology goes, it represents love, passion, fire and desire. What's really cool about the hue is it's something that women of any shade or ethnicity will look amazing in. If you're a woman of color, the key is to look for one that has a blue-base to it. It's more sophisticated and will complement your complexion better. As far as red lipstick goes, The Zoe Report has a list of 'em. But if you want to give your fingers and nails a bit of a red sexy pop, Red Diamond Crushed Diamonds Patent Shine 10x Nail Lacquer is a great-high end nail polish while China Glaze's Heart of Africa is a pretty awesome department store find.

3. Curl Your Eyelashes

media.giphy.com

Something that all of us should have in our possession is an eyelash curler. It has a way of opening up your eyes and extending the length of your lashes simultaneously. With curly lashes and a coat or two of mascara on them, you can flirt all day long without saying a single word.

4. Apply a Shimmery Lip Gloss

Unsplash

Anyone who knows me knows that if I've got an addiction to anything, it's lip gloss. I really can't tell you how many tubes that I have; it really is low-key a problem. I think what I like so much about gloss is I can put some on real quick, with or without lipstick, and my lips will instantly have a sexy pout to them.

If you really want your lips to stand out, go with a gloss that has some shimmer in it. Some brands that I think work pretty well include C.O. Bigelow Mentha Shimmer Bare Mint, sweetnectarbeauty's Vegan Lip Gloss and Maybelline New York Lip Studio Electric Shine Prismatic Lip Gloss Makeup, Lunar Gem. To tell you the truth, you can easily make some of your own too. All you need is some coconut oil, make-up grade glitter and a couple of other items and you're all set. Get the walk-through on how to do it here.

5. Also Apply Some Bronzer to Your Skin

Giphy

Remember how I said that actor Ryan Destiny is super sexy to me? One of the things that I find to be so alluring about her is her deep chocolate skin that seems to have no pores or flaws. Yeah, smooth skin is definitely all-the-way-up sexy.

I wasn't blessed with that kind of skin, but I will say that exfoliation, sulfur soap (it's great if you've got acne) and using sweet almond oil as a moisturizer has done wonders! Also, when I want my skin to have a radiant glow, bronzer makes that happen.

Girl, if you've never gone out with some bronzer on your skin, words can't express how much you're missing out! Forget what others will think; you'll have a hard time walking past a mirror and not staring at your own self! So yeah, make an investment into your complexion and cop some.

(By the way, this is something else that you can make at home. For step-by-step instructions on how to make shimmering body lava, click here.)

6. Rub an Essential Oil onto Your Hair

Unsplash

OK, so you do have a favorite scent, right? How often do you put it on? Me? I'm an essential oils gal myself. Usually I blend two or three of them together to come up with a signature smell. Anyway, while putting a fragrance on your wrists and neck is all good, don't sleep on rubbing some of it onto your hair. For one thing, it will linger there longer than most other places. Plus, it has a way of leaving a trail wherever you go.

Oh—if you're kind of new to the whole essential oil thing, some scents that are really sexy include rose, jasmine, sandalwood, patchouli and cinnamon.

7. Then Pin Your Hair Up (or Put on a Necklace)

media.giphy.com

One of the most powerful erogenous zones for us is our neck. You know what else? A lot about our age can be revealed on that particular part of the body too (which is why we need to keep it well moisturized at all times). What's more is, when I asked a few fellas that I know about what part of a woman's body really drew them in, they also mentioned the neck; they went so far as to say that's why they love a woman whose hair is up in a ponytail or messy bun, or a woman who has a mean short 'do. For all of these reasons, that's why this particular point made the list.

If you're not feeling your best and you've got long hair, pull it up, add a pair of hoops, then see how you feel. If your hair is on the shorter side, layered charm or medallion necklaces are currently all the rage. Adding a bit of shine on your neck is another way to feel sexy and subtly draw attention to one of the sexiest parts of your body.

8. Put on a Pair of Heels

Unsplash

A pair of heels can do a lot of things—correct your posture, make your butt look amazing and, as Fabolous once said (in his song, "You Be Killin' 'Em"), make a woman "slow strut like she walking to the altar." Whether you're in a little black dress or you've got on a T-shirt and jeans, your entire energy is gonna shift over to being seductive and sexy if you've got the right pair of heels on.

9. Rock Some Glasses (Whether You Need Them or Not)

media.giphy.com

A couple of years back, for about six months or so, I had to wear some prescription glasses so that they could correct a mild astigmatism that I had (one that existed, apparently since birth, that made itself known after I turned 40). But with all of the frames I've got in my bedroom, you'd think I was blind as a bat! I've always liked how a good frame looks on my face. On both men and women, I think glasses are uber sexy.

It appears that I'm not the only one; glasses seem to have a psychological effect on all of us. They frame our face, show off our personality, give off a vibe of confidence, intellect and a bit of quiet reserve, and they definitely offer up a hint of mystery.

That's why you should treat yourself to a pair of glasses (prescription or not optional); not because your vision necessarily needs them, but because wearing frames is another easy way to look and feel sexy in a matter of moments.

10. Wear an Oversized Men’s Button-Down Shirt

media.giphy.com

A couple of years ago, a popular fashion trend was women wearing a man's button-down dress shirt. To me, it's not a "trend" so much as a classic go-to. It's empowering and feminine. It looks great on all body types. And, it's the kind of thing that you can wear with a tailored business suit or just to lounge around the house in. And, if you've got a significant other, he's probably gonna find that to be as seductive as any lingerie number you own. It's a win/win all the way around. Stay sexy, sis!

Featured image by Getty Images

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

Quick & Easy Self-Esteem Hacks That Will Have You Feeling Yourself

4 Women On Loving Your Beauty As A Black Woman

7 Black-Owned Lingerie Brands That Will Revitalize Your Sexy

Reclaim Your Sexy Just In Time To Shut Down Uncuffing Season

Before Tracee Ellis Ross was the adored Rainbow on black-ish, she was the quirky and stylish Joan Clayton on Girlfriends that so many of us loved. Girlfriends was a sitcom that showcased four friends living in L.A. and navigating dating and friendships. The series which premiered in the fall of 2000 has had a lasting impact on the Black community thanks to its relatable characters and notable one-liners. After eight seasons, however, the beloved series ended abruptly with no explanation and no closure for fans.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Featured image by Getty Images

Jamie Foxx and his daughter Corinne Foxx are one of Hollywood’s best father-daughter duos. They’ve teamed up together on several projects including Foxx’s game show Beat Shazam where they both serve as executive producers and often frequent red carpets together. Corinne even followed in her father’s footsteps by taking his professional last name and venturing into acting starring in 47 Meters Down: Uncaged and Live in Front of a Studio Audience: All in the Family and Good Times as Thelma.

Keep reading...Show less

TW: This article may contain mentions of suicide and self-harm.

In early 2022, the world felt like it slowed down a bit as people digested the shocking news of beauty pageant queen Cheslie Kryst, who died by suicide. When you scroll through her Instagram, the photos she had posted only weeks before her death were images of her smiling, looking happy, and being carefree. You can see photos of her working, being in front of the camera, and doing what I imagine was her norm. These pictures and videos, however, began to spark a conversation among Black women who knew too well that feeling like you're carrying the world on your shoulders and forcing yourself to smile through it all to hide the pain.

Keep reading...Show less

Ironically enough—considering the way the word begins—the love-hate relationship that we have with menstruation is comparable to the way in which we navigate the world of men. It’s very much “can’t live with it, can’t live without it” vibes when it comes to women and their cycles. But the older I get, the more I learn to hate that time of the month a little less. A lot of my learning to embrace my period has come with learning the fun, interesting, and “witchy” stuff while discovering more natural, in-tune ways of minimizing the pain in my ass (those cramps know no bounds) amongst other places.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts