10 Black Women Photographers Putting On For The Culture
Black women are über creative, y'all. We perform geometric equations in detailed braiding patterns, we can engineer any device with the bare minimum tools, and we basically drive the pop culture of the entire world. Art, in all aspects of creativity—from painting, sculpting, and theater, to music, dance, and photography—although not new to the black community, is newly celebrated on a larger scale than previously recognized. And with photography leading the pack, thanks to pioneers such as Deborah Willis, Lorna Simpson, and Marilyn Nance, black women are now picking up their cameras at an all-time high.
We decided to list some of the most poppin' queens making the most noise as photographers. Here's our list of 10 female photographers putting on for the culture.
Tori Lens | @tori.lens
Courtesy of Tori Lens
Location: London, England
Favorite Camera: Nikon D3200 or Samsung S9+
Signature Style: "Vibrant, active, and smokey!"
"Me owning what I love and no longer apologizing for being a flipping powerhouse—despite being a bubbly, friendly, open-minded, black female with a shaved head and big African earrings—it all means that me just being, is making an impact."
Tori Lens is a first gen British-born Nigerian based on the other side of the pond in London. She is a clicking beast best known for her vibrant smoke bomb photoshoots and commitment to getting the right shot. "I'm always moving when I'm shooting, people always say that to me. And I love when my subjects do the same and are not afraid to take my unorthodox suggestions and run with it," she says. With a creative background that ranges from graffiti, painting, and sewing, Tori always knew she would have photography in her peripheral. "I must admit no matter my journey, I believe I would have always found photography because I am a visual creative and naturally curious. [I'm] always learning and growing. It was inevitable."
Sierra Leone | @leoneandgray
Courtesy of Sierra Leone
Location: Atlanta/DMV
Favorite Camera: Full Frame D750
Signature Style: "Unposed. I want to always capture my subjects as they are in motion!"
"Shortly after giving birth to my daughter, I realized I didn't want to put her in daycare. And photography allowed me the freedom to capture her fleeting moments, stay at home with her, and secure the bag."
Sierra Leone is a self-taught, well-oiled photography machine based in the DMV and Atlanta areas. Encouraged by her mother to pursue the industry, she cites the times her mom would often capture her as a child. "While growing up, and even to this day, she is always capturing moments and while she used to preserve those moments through scrapbooking," she says with a smile, "I loved looking through her captures when I was younger. She has such an artistic eye when freezing time." Sierra then studied her craft and took to the internet to self-indulge in the basics. "I attended YouTube University, and I have been capturing beautiful humans for about 7 years now. I absolutely love what I do!"
She credits Marrica Evans, Cyndi Brown, Dayo, and her beautiful daughter, Tenzin—who she often uses as her subject—as photography inspirations.
Jen Missouri | @jenmissouri
Photo Credit: Quinten Swygert
Location: Little Rock, AR
Favorite Camera: Open to any camera with a 1.2 85mm prime lens
Signature Style: "I'm a natural light shooter, so my signature style is very clean and bright, with simplicity."
"I am looking to shift mindsets on the concept of photography. Photography is not only an art, but there's a science to it."
Jen Missouri is a highly sought-after newbie in the southern region of the U.S. She is best known for her attention to detail and passion for the perfect angle. "I practice shooting what I see through my lens when it comes to natural light, [so] I try to eliminate as much post-work as possible. I love how subjects are captured in its raw state," she says. "Filters should be an enhancer not the highlight of the story you're trying to tell."
Since taking that little photography elective on a whim during her last year of undergrad, Jen found her appetite for shooting, and hasn't been able to put down the camera since. She is also owner of the creative space @TheSpot, which is where you can find her taking photos for exclusive client events.
Kesha Lambert | @keshalambert
Photo Credit: Kanayo Adibe
Location: New Rochelle, NY
Favorite Camera: I am currently obsessed with the Nikon z7
Signature Style: "Movement, light, sultry and fun, risk-taking. I have a vivid imagination and I never hesitate to try to execute the thing that pops into mind. I don't overthink, I gently push the people I work with and just go for it."
"My cultural impact will be to create generational heirlooms; to dispel the negative stereotypes surrounding black marriage, black fatherhood, black motherhood and black love."
Kesha Lambert is a former lawyer turned dominant wedding photographer, hailing from New York. Her journey came about when one day, she just decided to go for it. "Circumstance and opportunity is why I pursued photography. It had been an interest since I was a little girl. I even started a small portrait business in my teens." I'm super impressed as she continues, "Adult me went on to become a lawyer, got married and start a family. Then one day, a proverbial door closed that caused a shift in my mindset and, as a result, Kesha Lambert Photography became a real thing."
Inspired by her three boys, Kesha has cemented her place in photography, as her photos may be some of your favorites on social media, without you even knowing. Keep a close eye on her journey, as she will certainly be making her mark on the game.
Taylor Hayden | @taylormhayden
Courtesy of Taylor Hayden
Location: Houston, TX
Favorite Camera: Canon 5D Mark IV
Signature Style: "Simple, natural, and authentic."
"I believe that in order to bring forth a positive impact, the first step is to work on yourself. We all are here for specific reasons and we've inherited special gifts to share."
Photography may have started as a hobby for the Prairie View A&M grad, but she quickly made it her passion. "I never considered becoming a professional and making money from it," she starts. "I applied for tons of positions in the communications field and I was rejected every single time. Eventually, I became fed up and decided that I would be my own boss."
And a boss she is. You can find her close to her roots, shooting authentic images for her archives. "I find the most inspiration through other passionate people that are living their purpose and committed to the journey. It truly inspires me to keep moving forward and to also share my experiences, because you never know who you could potentially impact for the better."
Yass, sis.
Linn Washington | @goldbarlinn
Photo Credit: Shani Perez
Location: NYC
Favorite Camera: Canon 5d Mark IV / Canon EF f 2.8L 70 to 200mm. A killer combination.
Signature Style: "Urban, bold, and clean. There is beauty in simplicity."
"It is important that we control a positive narrative of our images for future generations."
Linn is a retired law enforcement officer and prominent street photographer in the city that never sleeps. "I realized that I could do more for my community behind the lens by capturing joyful moments and crafting positive content, in lieu of using handcuffs to make an arrest."
Since then, Linn has tapped into her purpose by shooting the streets, versus shooting the streets. She credits Jeanne Moutoussamy and Lindey Adler as inspirations and, in her mission to show the beauty of melanin, she plans to be around for a long time. Currently, Linn is working on a documentary and photo book to support her friend who is battling stage 4 cancer. "I will master multiple genres of photography so that I may preserve history utilizing my artful eyes, and telling the stories of all the wonderful individuals I meet in an authentic way. I will then teach others how to do the same."
Lola Akinmade Åkerström | @lolaakinmade
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Favorite Camera: Currently Nikon D750 FX
Signature Style: "I love vivid color and I love heavy dark contrast. Growing up in Nigeria, I was always surrounded by vibrant colors and lots of high contrast (dark skin against bright sky) so that is my style."
"For me, the perfect shot has nothing to do with technical settings, but everything to do with how many questions it can answer - where, why, what, when - and whether it can convey those emotions in a single shot."
Lola Akinmade is a pretty big deal; a highly decorated, award-winning, living legend and traveling photographer with published works in National Geographic and her own books—her latest being Due North: A Collection of Travel Observations, Reflections, and Snapshots Across Color, Cultures, and Continents. But even through her many accolades and accomplishments, she still feels that she has a long way to go.
"Goal lines keep getting moved because I am shooting within an industry that doesn't expect me—and someone that looks like me—to be working in it," she says. "These are some of the unspoken rules. It's why a white, male, rugged photographer who shoots the exact same scene I did, is celebrated, while this curvy black woman is met with a questioning of 'you took that?' instead. I want to normalize black women as professional travel photographers, and travel writers, on the mainstream level. I want to inspire those who shoot and write on the highest platforms."
Queen.
Nikia Paden | @iridescentphotography.htx
Courtesy of Nikia Paden
Location: Houston, TX
Favorite Camera: Canon 5D Mark IV
Signature Style: "My work is filled with vibrant colors and the nonsense correlated with candid childhood. It is meant to cause major reminiscing and extract all the smiles."
"Simply taking pictures transformed the way I observed my environment. My eyes were continuously taking mental snapshots on how environments would look photographed."
Color and youth-capture is the essence of Nikia Paden. Her super creative spirit and eye is how she has managed to be one of the top child photographers in the country. "When someone sees my work, I want them to know that it all usually begins with a crazy idea that turns into a wild creative adventure that's usually full of imagination," she says with a laugh. "I have been told that my work is a breath of fresh air, and that it captures the whimsical and innocent nature of childhood, especially for our black children. So, I want to capture our melanated minis and showcase the joy that they exude. And maybe one day, all will see the magic and the undeniable necessity that is them."
Kahran Bethencourt | @creativesoulphoto
Courtesy of Creative Soul Photography
Location: Atlanta, GA
Favorite Camera: Canon 5D Mark III; 85MM 1.4 Lens
Signature Style: "I always define my signature style as 'extra'. To me, descendants of the African diaspora have always been (and always will be) trendsetters when it comes to fashion, music, and style so I want our work to reflect that - even if our subjects are kids."
"We want to empower kids of color around the world to be proud of their culture and embrace everything that makes them unique."
You have seen Kahran's photos a hundred times over, and you have no clue. She is ½ of the awesomely innovative husband/wife duo, Creative Soul Photography. And their impact on photography, is revolutionary. "My husband, Reg actually attended school for photography and I learned along with him while he was in college. We knew we wanted to start a business together, so it was the perfect opportunity for us to learn a new skill together."
And, man, have they learned.
Creative Soul's photos have been featured in Essence, Munaluchi Bride, MochaKid, on The Real, the OWN network, and more. "A perfect shot tells a story. Even if it's a studio portrait, I love when all of the elements (fashion, hairstyle, accessories, model, etc.) come together to form the story we're trying to tell."
Deanna G | @deannaxnicole
Courtesy of Deanna G
Location: Atlanta, GA
Favorite Camera: Canon 80D/50mm 1.8 Lens
Signature Style: "My signature style is not just one thing; I see it as very versatile. It fits the moment I would say. It is always pretty vibrant, even when it is intended to be 'dark'."
"When I first decided I wanted to take a creative career choice, there were not many women figures to look up to in my field. This is, or was, a male-dominated industry, and it is changing more every day. We are making our mark in this world, and shaking it up along the way."
A photographer since high school, Deanna always knew some sort of camera would be in her hands. "I have always intended to have a career in the film industry, whether that be as an editor, or director of photography," she says. "[But] photography helped me learn more about how I see things visually and opened doors that were not previously opened before."
Her recent "A Black Man's Mental Health" series has been making noise amongst other creatives. But whether a photographer, or a film director, Deanna is sure about one thing: "I want to be an inspiration to young women around the world. I want them to be able to know that they will make it in whatever creative pathway they choose, without the constant mental panic of 'how is this going to play out?'."
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
These 12 Things Will Breathe New Life Into Your Bedroom This Year
If I’ve said it once, I promise that I’ve said it a billion times over at this point. After (officially) working with couples for almost 20 years, although I’ve just about heard it all, if one thing is steadily rising as the reason for why people are seriously dissatisfied in their relationship, BOREDOM is screaming loud and clear.
When you stop to really think about it, that makes sense since boring means things like “tedious repetition” and “weary sameness” — and when you apply that to sex? Eww…who wants that? Not one damn person on planet earth, chile.
So, since we’re right at the beginning of another new year, in the hopes that you can avoid that seven-letter word that can cause so many yawns and, if you’re not careful, also a lot of potential harm, here are 12 relatively simple ways that you and your partner can keep things fresh instead of boring in 2024.
1. Change Up Your Decor Themes Twice a Year
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I know it’s not just me who feels like hotel sex is automatically hotter than sex at home, more times than not. Aside from the fact that hotel beds are top-tier, another reason is that a change of scenery can do wonders when it comes to adding some spice to your relationship — especially if you’ve been with the same person for a while now.
It’s not just in our heads either. There’s actual research to support that being in new(er) environments activates the part of our brain that puts us in a better mood. That’s why, whenever married couples tell me that their sex life is in a bit of a rut, one of the first things that I’ll recommend is they switch up the décor of their bedroom. If you do this twice a year (a spring and summer theme followed by a fall and winter one), it can help you to feel more excited about going into your bedroom every night — and who knows what that could “trigger” in the best way possible?
2. Plan a Sexcation Twice a Year Too
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It really is kind of wild that, almost five years ago, I wrote “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” for the site. I try to bring sexcations up as much as possible, yet if you’ve never heard of one before, it’s a vacation that only has sex in mind. See it as a honeymoon 2.0, if you will. That said, one of my favorite things about sexcations is you don’t need a ton of money to make them happen because this isn’t about embracing a new country or city — the only sightseeing you will be doing is when it comes to your partner’s body which means you can go to a hotel up the street and your goal will still be reached.
And just what makes a sexcation special? A lot of couples say that they’re not able to have a lot of “wall climbing sex” because life, well, LIFES, and that makes it super challenging. So, planning some time when nothing but sex is on the menu… helps them reignite the spark that may have died down a bit. Try and have one no less than twice a year. Four times? Even better.
3. Prioritize Morning Sex (at Least) Once a Week
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If you’re married and you wonder how much sex is “normal” for your kind of relationship, reportedly, 25 percent of people in your demographic copulate once a week and 16 percent 2-3 times a week. Interestingly enough, the happiest couples also have sex no less than once a week. That’s why, what I recommend to my clients is to prioritize no less than once a week, although two is ideal — because listen, if you can spend almost three hours a day on social media, you can figure out how to devote 30 minutes to intimacy with your partner (we make time for what matters to us; full stop). And one of those times? Make it morning sex.
Morning sex reduces stress. Morning sex improves your mood. There are even studies that say morning sex will give you better orgasms because certain sex hormones are at their peak during the a.m. hours. Not to mention that any kind of sex helps to bond you (further) to your partner.
So, if you’re not much of a morning person or you tend to get up on the wrong side of the bed more than you’d like, forget the coffee and get your partner to spend a few more moments with you. It’ll do your mind, body, and spirit far better than any java ever could!
4. Put "Sex Fish Bowls" on Your Nightstands
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What in the world is a “sex fish bowl”? It’s simply an empty fish bowl where you put your sexual wants, needs, and fantasies into. It’s also something that I incorporate with a lot of my clients when they want to take their sex life up a notch. I recommend that they each put a fish bowl on their nightstand and that they immediately fill the other person's with no more than 10 sexual requests.
Once a week, at some random time, they each get to say “Go fish” and pull something out. Then, they discuss what’s on the piece of paper and why it’s important to them to have it fulfilled. It opens up the lines of sexual communication, helps them to learn more about each other sexually, and it also helps to bring more “new energy” into their sexual space. I also suggest they throw in new pieces of paper as different ideas come to mind. Not one client has regretted “going fishing,” so try it. It might just be the “sex hack” you’ve been looking for all this time.
5. Keep Fresh Flowers in Your Space
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Sure, flowers are pretty to look at, but there are also studies to support the fact that their scent is good for your overall health and well-being; especially your emotional health. Lavender is calming. Rose is an aphrodisiac. Lilies can make you feel happier. Peonies reduce head tension. Jasmine is a sexy scent that can also put you into a meditative state. Not only that, but there’s even a Rutgers University study that says that men receiving flowers actually makes them feel happier and more open to interacting with women socially.
So, how can you not take all of this in and not see why it would be a wise move to put some fresh flowers somewhere in your bedroom on a weekly basis? It’s a simple thing that can make a pretty significant impact, if you ask me, chile.
6. Install Some Blackout Curtains
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Even though science says that the best time of day to have sex is within the first 45 minutes that you wake up (another “win” for morning sex), there are plenty of surveys out here that say, women, especially, prefer to have sex in the dark. Your first thought might be that it has something to do with body image issues — and for some, that would be correct. Others find that it’s easier to let their imagination run wild if they are not relying on their sense of sight. If you can relate to any of this, don’t rely on the moon to determine when you can get in it.
Because I work from home, I am good for taking a nap (if not a couple of ‘em based on how my client sessions went…SMDH) in the middle of the day. And it’s easy to do because I have blackout curtains in my bedroom. Invest in the right ones, and I promise you won’t know if it’s 7 a.m. or 7 p.m. Cop some and thank me later.
7. Buy Each Other Something Sexy Once a Month
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If you’ve been considering going into 2024 with a subscription box or some other type of service, I recently read it’s something that 33 percent of shoppers actually rely on. This means that they won’t be going away any time soon. So, if you want to add some extra…extra-ness to your bedroom, why not sign up for a sex-themed subscription service? Vice published an article this past September (here) that featured some popular sex toy subscriptions. Adore Me (here) has a lingerie subscription service that I can personally vouch for (as far as how cute a lot of their stuff is).
You can also put “lingerie subscription services” in the search field of your favorite search engine to see what other companies have to offer. Or, you can make it a point to buy or order something on the sex-related tip for your partner once a month on your own. It’ll get you all hot ‘n bothered to find something. It’ll get him all hot ‘n bothered to know something sexy is on the way (and vice versa).
8. Hold “Sex Meetings” OUTSIDE of the Bedroom
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Some of y’all love to treat your bedroom like an office or conference room. What in the world? Like, I don’t get why you would find the same space where you argue, talk about money, and debate about your in-laws to be very sexy. That’s why I am a firm believer that you should only use that space for sex and sleep. I’m actually gonna expound on that more at the end of this.
For now, let me just say that a lot of people are sexually dissatisfied (one report said that as much as 50 percent of young women are), and while there are several layers as to why that is probably the case, at the risk of y’all taking this the nasty way…closed mouths don’t get fed. In other words, if you’re not speaking up and articulating your needs (or that your needs have changed — check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom”), how do you expect them to get met? Contrary to whatever rom-coms may tell you, no one is a mind-reader.
My suggestion? Hold sex meetings once a month. Not in your bedroom either. Send a text to your man that you want to have a sex talk, have a sexy dinner (takeout with candles is fine) with him, and discuss what you thoroughly enjoy about sex with him, what you currently need more of, and then give him the floor to do the same. It’s important to always remember that sex is the ultimate form of communication — however, if you think that you and your partner can figure out how to master physical pleasure without any form of verbal discussion? Like Vanessa Williams’s character said in that Tyler Perry movie that she was in, “Good luck with your struggle.” Real talk.
9. Commit to Some Sexual Reflexology
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If you’re not a “foot person,” this might be one that you’ll pass on. On the other hand, if you’re like me and feet don’t phase you one way or another, or if you’re like a guy I knew in college who had a bona fide foot fetish, this might especially pique your interest. Sexual reflexology is the practice of touching specific pressure points (mostly feet, hands, and ears) that will help to arouse you and your partner’s genital regions. On the surface, it might sound like a regular erotic massage (check out “You And Your Partner Should Definitely Be Giving Each Other 'Sex Massages'”); however, it’s not because it’s the specific areas — again, feet, hands, and ears — that need to be the focal point as far as applying pressure goes.
Anyway, if this interests you, MindBodyGreen has some tips that can get you started via their article, “How Foot Reflexology Can Help You Have Great Sex (Yes, Really).” As a bonus, reflexology is very soothing and relaxing. It’s a form of “sex pamper play,” if you will.
10. Try a New Sex Position a Month
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If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. While I get the overall point, anything in excess can backfire. And when it comes to that particular frame of mind, doing the same ole’, same ole’ just because it “works”? That can cause you to become pretty lazy if you’re not careful. And when it comes to sex, specifically, a lazy partner and/or experience can get pretty old after a while.
One thing that can get you a leg up from this ever happening is if you and your partner are intentional about learning/trying (at least) one new sex position a month. He can bring six to the table, and you can do the same. You might be surprised by how a simple turn of a leg or a different angle of your pelvis can introduce you to a level of intensity that “what ain’t broke” never would’ve gotten you to. To get you started off, a site called Royal Intimacy has 100 positions (including illustrations) that you can check out here. Enjoy!
11. Have “Naked Dates”
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Something that just might be your “something new” for today is the word gymnophobia. It’s a person who has a phobia when it comes to nudity. And while this may not be an issue in your home, if you or your partner barely ever see each other naked (hell, even during sex because it’s always in the dark), I’m gonna strongly encourage you to have more naked dates in the new year. Have an at-home movie night — naked. Share a pint of ice cream together — naked. Play a board game together — naked.
Even though you’ve probably heard how you and your vagina can benefit from sleeping without any clothes on, there’s also research that says being naked, period, can improve your body image, make you happier and, yes, build more intimacy and trust with your partner. A naked date is inexpensive and hella sexy. How can you not be sold on that?
12. Finally Use Your Bedroom for What It’s for: Sex and Sleep ONLY
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This is gonna be a full circle moment because you know how I said at the top of this that hotels are great for sex? Another reason is because who goes on a vacation with the agenda of doing work? You know you want to relax, and so you take that frame of mind into the room. Your bedroom needs to be treated in a similar fashion because, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a trillion times that interior designers say that bedrooms should ONLY be for sex and sleep. This means no laptops to finish up projects. This means no scrolling IG and TikTok for hours on end. If you can get that television up outta there, do that too. There really needs to be a place in your world that looks and feels like it is an oasis, a sanctuary and den of intimacy for you, your partner, and no one or nothing else.
So, as we close out one year and prepare to enter into another, breathe new life into your bedroom by not turning it into a multipurpose room. SEX AND SLEEP ONLY. Watch how it changes intimacy for the better. I can almost promise you that. #wink
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