I'm pretty sure we can all agree that one of the worst things someone can do is waste our time. Yet, isn't it ironic that if most of us sat and thought about who wastes our time the most, it would probably be ourselves? (Ouch and amen!)
I don't know about you, but not a week goes by that I'm not either wondering where my 24 hours went or wishing that I could add four more hours to at least one of my days. Usually, it's because I don't plan out my day the day before, or I'm doing stuff that is totally unnecessary.
It's funny how life works and what it will teach you. I say that because the more I'm learning to value myself, the more I'm also learning to value my time. With that, I've discovered a few hacks along the way that have literally given me a couple of hours back.
1.Cook for the Week (on the Weekends)
You've probably told yourself that you're gonna do this and just never did. But trust me—if you cook on the weekends while you're binge-watching one of your favorite shows, not only will it save you time during the week but it's healthier. Just think about it—you won't be wasting money on fattening fast food, which means cooking for the week also saves you money too!
2.Go to Bed (or Wake Up) 30 Minutes Earlier
How is going to bed or waking up earlier gonna save you time? It's all in how you look at it.
If you've been wanting to read a book, going to bed earlier can help you to knock some chapters out. If you've been saying you're gonna run more, getting up earlier means that you can get 20 minutes of cardio in before hopping in the shower.
3.Shower the Night Before
If you're slightly OCD, this tip probably won't work for you. But for everyone else, aside from the fact that showering the night before can save you an extra 15 minutes or so in the morning, did you know that it can be better for your skin and health too?
Not only does showering at night improve your quality of sleep, but cleansing your pores before bedtime can help your skin to rejuvenate itself while you rest. Plus, your pores will be closed by morning, which decreases the chances of getting an infection or catching a cold.
4.Tie Your Sides Down with Shea Butter and a Scarf
Whether you run out of edge control or you simply need a little more reinforcement for the hairstyle you want to rock, dab a little shea butter on your baby hairs, then tie a scarf around your head. Shea butter is one of the most "slept-on" ways to keep your edges laid. It's so good that you won't have to waste 10 extra minutes trying to get your hair under control.
Even if you get out of the house 20 minutes earlier on most mornings, that doesn't always mean that you're gonna miss a wreck on the road. If you're trying to impress your boss by not only getting to work on time but getting there earlier, download a traffic navigation app like Waze. You'll get up-to-date info on car accidents, traffic, and weather so that you can bypass all the (potential) drama on the road.
6.Check Your Email (No More Than Three Times a Day)
You're not gonna wanna hear it, but you need to. It's been proven that we spend (or is it waste?) almost three hours a day on email alone.
Listen, whatever is in your inbox, it's going to be there whenever you get around to checking it. You can save a world of time by disciplining yourself to wait until arriving at work before you check it at all. Then only look at it again during lunch and right before leaving in the evening. Unless you're waiting for something work-related that's time-sensitive, of course.
7.Turn Your Notifications Off
Surely you didn't think I was gonna let social media slide. Although I personally don't use it (nope, no social media accounts at all), I know that makes me an enigma. Meanwhile, guess how much time you're (probably) spending/wasting on it? HALF THE DAY (check out article US Adults Now Spend Nearly Half a Day Interacting with Media for reference).
Remember when your mom used to say, "Do you know how much you can get done in the two hours you're sitting in front of the television?" Replace that with "Do you know how much you're not getting done because you're always on someone's Instagram Story?" Just sayin'.
8.Do the Hardest Tasks—First
Procrastination sucks. Mostly because it encourages us to avoid making the most of our time. That said, whatever project you've got that you've been putting off because of all the work that's involved in it? Do yourself a favor and do it first. If you always make it a point (and practice) to do the hardest things before everything else by the time you get to the easy stuff, you'll literally be able to fly right through those tasks—and the rest of your day.
9.Leave Work ON TIME
One of the most challenging things about having a salaried job is you can easily stay at work 2-3 hours after the time you're scheduled to go home. But while you're still sitting at your desk, just think about all the errands you can run or how much of your house you can clean.
Moral to the story—unless you have to be at work past your clock-out time…don't be.
10. Schedule Your "Electronics" Time
One more thing. Any (reputable) interior designer will tell you that bedrooms are for sex and sleep. If you're not getting much of either, know that it's because you've got your laptop on your bed and your smartphone on your lap.
I'll put it to you this way: That's a surefire way to jack up your quality time with your significant other, your quality of sleep, and a few moments for you to paint your nails. So instead of electronics, just read a book or write in a journal.
I'm willing to bet some good money that if you implemented all or even some of these changes, you would get back a couple of hours of your life, easily. It's a reminder that most of the time, we don't need more time in the day; we simply need to stop wasting the time that we already have.
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (email@example.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Unapologetically, Chlöe: The R&B Star On Finding Love, Self-Acceptance & Boldly Using Her Voice
On set inside of a mid-city Los Angeles studio, it’s all eyes on Chlöe. She slightly shifts her body against a dark backdrop amidst camera clicks and whirs, giving a seductive pout here, and piercing eye contact there. Her chocolate locs are adorned with a few jewels that she requested to spice up the look, and on her shoulders rests a jeweled piece that she asked to be turned around to better showcase her neck (“I feel a bit old,” she said of the original direction). Her shapely figure is tucked into a strapless bodysuit with a deep v-neck that complements her décolletage.
Though subtle, her quiet wardrobe directives give the air of a woman who’s been here before, and certainly knows what she’s doing. At 24 years young, she’s a “Bossy” chick in training— one who’s politely unapologetic and learning the power of her own voice.
“I'm hesitant sometimes to truly speak my mind and speak up for myself and what I believe,” she later confessed to me a couple of weeks after the photoshoot. “It's always scary for me, but now I'm realizing that I have to, in order to gain respect as a Black woman— a young Black woman— who's still navigating who she is. And you know, I'm realizing that closed mouths don't get fed. And if I keep my mouth shut just because I'm afraid of what people's opinions of me will be or turn into, then that's not any way to live.”
For Chlöe, the journey into womanhood is about embracing who she is, without succumbing to the perceptions of what others think of her. From the waist up she’s everything you’d imagine. A gorgeous goddess with the kind of sex appeal that some work hard to embrace but fail to exude. But unbeknownst to anyone not on set, her bottom half is covered by a white robe, surprising coming from the girl who boasts “'Cause my booty so big, Lord, have mercy” on her first hit single “Have Mercy.”
But that’s the beauty of Chlöe. There’s more to her than meets the eye. More than what a few sensual photos sprinkled throughout an Instagram feed could ever tell you. Just like the photo-framing illusion of her portrayed from the waist up, what we know about the songstress is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more beneath the surface.
Some hours later Chlöe leans back in a high chair as her locs are transformed from a formal updo to a seemingly Basquiat-inspired one. It’s pure art, and at her request, no wigs are a part of the day’s ensemble. She’s fully embracing her natural hair, a decision that wasn’t always a socially accepted one.
In the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia, (Mableton, to be exact) Chlöe began to explore the foundation of her self-image. At an early age she and her younger sister, Halle, demonstrated a vocal prowess and knack for being in front of the camera that caught their parents’ attention. Soon after, they were sent on a parade of local talent shows and auditions, and eventually broke into the digital space with song covers on YouTube.
It was during these early years that Chlöe first learned that the entertainment industry could be unforgiving to those who didn’t fit a particular beauty standard. Despite the then three-year-old snagging a role as the younger version of Beyoncé’s character, Lilly, in Fighting Temptations, casting agents requested that her natural locs be exchanged for more Eurocentric tresses. Ironic, considering that growing up Chlöe saw her hair as no different than that of her peers. “I remember specifically in pre-K we had to do self-portraits and I drew myself with a regular straight ponytail, like how I would put my locs in a ponytail,” she says. “I just never saw myself any different.”
Chlöe would also learn the true meaning of a phrase that would later become an affirmation posted on her bedroom mirror: “Don’t Let the World Dim Your Light.” After attempting to wear wigs to fit in, the Bailey sisters instead chose to rock their locs with pride, which undoubtedly cost them casting roles. Yet they would have the last laugh when making headlines as the “Teen Dreadlocked Duo” who landed a million-dollar contract with Parkwood Entertainment, and the coveted opportunity to be groomed under the tutelage of a world-renowned superstar.
Credit: Derek Blanks
While that could be the end of a beautiful fairytale of self-empowerment, the reality is that it’s just the beginning of the story of her evolution. For most girls, the transition into womanhood takes place in the comfort of their own worlds, often limited to the number of people they allow to have access to them. But for Chlöe, it’s happening in front of millions of critiquing eyes just waiting for an opportunity to either uplift or dissect her through unwarranted commentary.
Many in her position wouldn’t be able to take that kind of pressure. But Chlöe is handling it with grace. “I feel like all of us as humans, we have the right to interpret things how we want,” she says. “I put art out into the world and it's up for interpretation. I'm learning that not everyone is going to always like me and that it's okay.”
Chlöe isn’t the first artist to receive criticism for her carnal content, and she certainly won’t be the last. In 2010, Ciara writhed and rode her way to banishment on BET when the then 24-year-old released her video for “Ride.” In 2006, 25-year-old Beyoncé received backlash for “Déjà Vu."
"I put art out into the world and it's up for interpretation. I'm learning that not everyone is going to always like me and that it's okay.”
So much so that over 5,000 fans signed an online petition demanding that her label re-shoot the video because it was “too sexual.” Even 27-year-old Janet didn’t escape critical headlines when she shed her image of innocence for a more risqué appearance with the 1993 release of janet.
It’s almost as if public reproach is a rite of passage for young Black women R&B singers on the road to stardom. Good girls seemingly “go bad” whenever they embrace the depths of their femininity, and fans only like you on top figuratively. But Chlöe has learned not to bow down to other people’s opinions, but to boss up and control the narrative. As the saying goes, well-behaved women seldom make history. If sex appeal is her weapon, she wields it well.
On set, Chlöe exudes the energy of Aphrodite in an apple red, off-shoulder dress with a sexy high split. In between shots, she mouths the lyrics to Yebba’s “Boomerang” as it echoes throughout the space in steady repetition at my recommendation. The hour grows late, yet Chlöe is heating things up as eyes stare in deep mesmerization of the girl on fire.
Credit: Derek Blanks
Through music, she explores the depths of her being, a journey that seems to be, at its foundation, rooted in self-discovery. Whereas their debut album The Kids Are Alright (2018) boasts a young Chloe x Halle empowering their generation to embrace who they are while finding their place in the world, their second album Ungodly Hour (2020) shows the Bailey sisters shedding the veil of innocence for a more unapologetic bravado.
What fans looked forward to seeing is who Chlöe shows herself to be on her debut solo album In Pieces. In an interview with PEOPLE, she confesses that releasing her first project without her sister was “scary.” "It was a moment of self-doubt where I was like, 'Can I do this without my sister?’”
Chlöe has never been shy about sharing her insecurities or her vulnerabilities, all of which are laced throughout the 14-track album. “I want people to have fun when they listen to it and to just realize that they're not alone and it's okay to be vulnerable and raw and open because none of us are perfect; we're all far from it. And I think it's healing when we all admit to that instead of putting up a facade.”
The gift of time has given the self-professed “big lover girl” more encounters with romance and heartbreak. Love songs once sung for their beautiful riffs and melodies become more than just abstract lyrics and are replaced by real-life experiences, which she tells me is definitely in the music.
In her single “Pray It Away,” for example, she contemplates going to God for healing instead of going at her ex-lover for revenge for his infidelities. “With anything dealing with art, I am completely vulnerable,” she says. “I'm completely myself, I'm completely open and transparent. So it's pretty much all of me and who I am right now.”
Has Chlöe been in love? That still remains to be said. Of course, she’s been linked to a few potential baes, but dating in the digital age isn’t as easy as a double tap or drop of a heart-eyes emoji. It requires a level of trust and vulnerability that’s hard to earn, and easy to mishandle. To let her guard down means to potentially set herself up for disappointment. “It’s difficult dating right now, honestly, because you really have to kind of keep your guard up and pay attention to who's really there for you. And you know, I'm such an affectionate person and I love hard.
"So when I meet the one person that I really, really am into, it's hard for me to see any others and I get attached pretty easily. And you know, I don't know, it's…it's a scary thing.”
Credit: Derek Blanks
“With anything dealing with art, I am completely vulnerable. I'm completely myself, I'm completely open and transparent. So it's pretty much all of me and who I am right now.”
While broken hearts yield good music (queue Adele), what’s in Chlöe’s prayer is the desire to be happy. What does that look like? Well, she’s still figuring that out herself. “Honestly, I'm the type of person who I don't truly learn unless I experience it. So it's like I can view and watch my parents and watch the loving relationships that I see in my life and be like, ‘Oh, I want that. I would love to have that.’ But then I also have to experience [love] on my own and see what my flaws or my faults might be or see what my good things about myself are. I feel like it's really all about self-reflection. And even though our base is our family and that's our foundation, we are still our own individuals and we have to find out specifically the things about ourselves that may be different from what we saw from our parents when we were growing up.”
Her ideal beau, she tells me, is someone she can feel safe to be her fun, goofy self with, but who also gives her the space to be the boss chick chasing her dreams. A man who understands that just because the world compliments her doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hear those words from his lips or feel it in his touch. A bonus if he shows up on set after a long hard day of work with vegan cinnamon rolls. You know, the basic necessities. “I like whoever I'm with to constantly tell me they love me and that I look beautiful because I do the same. I am a very mushy person, and if I see something or you look good, I will never shy away from saying it out loud. And I want whoever I'm with to do the same, be very vocal. Tell me that you love me. Tell me what you love about me because I'm doing the same for you because that's just the person I am.”
Until she meets her match she’s married to the game, and for now, that seems to be perfect matrimony.
Credit: Derek Blanks
On stage at the 2021 American Music Awards, Chlöe solidified her position as a force to be reckoned with. It was a full-circle moment. In 2012, bright-eyed and baby-faced Chloe and Halle would walk onto the set of The Ellen Degeneres Show and blow the audience away as they bellowed out their future mentor’s song. Ellen would present the sisters with tickets to attend the AMAs, assuring them that they would be back and had a promising future. Nine years later, Chlöe descends from the sky cloaked in a snow-white cape and matching midriff-baring bodysuit for her debut performance. It’s the first time she’s graced the stage of the very award show that she was once an audience member of.
As she shakes and shimmies and boom kack kacks out her eight counts, it’s clear that she’s in her element. Just like her VMA performance a couple of months prior, and the many more stages she’ll continue to grace, she brings an energy that has earned her comparisons to the beloved Queen Bey herself. An honorable statement, considering few R&B songstresses are getting accolades for their entertainment capabilities. It’s on these very stages, in front of hundreds of astonished eyes and millions more glued to their televisions at home, that she tells me she feels most sexy. Powerful, even.
But off stage, it’s a different story.
It’s more than just the commentary about her image and media-flamed rumors that get to her. Mentally, she’s in competition with herself. The desire to be the best burns at the back of her mind with every performance, every production, and every time she steps into the booth. Before, she could share the weight of this burden with her sister. Being a part of a duo meant she could turn to Halle for quiet confirmation and encouragement without a word being exchanged. But lately stepping on the stage means stepping out on her own. And despite being a breathtaking, five-time Grammy-nominated star, Chlöe doesn’t escape the reality that sometimes we can be our own worst critics.
Over the last year, she’s been coming to terms with who she is on her own while overcoming the fear of failing to become who she’s destined to be. While the world waits to see how Chlöe wins, the real triumph is in every day that she chooses herself and continues to walk in her purpose. “I don't really have anything all figured out, honestly. But what I try to do, a lot of prayer. I talk to God more and I just try to do things that calm my mind down and just breathe.”
To whom much is given, much will be required. She’s been chosen to walk this path for a reason. Once she fully embraces that everything she’s meant to be is already inside of her, she’ll be an unstoppable force. “My grandma, Elizabeth, she just passed away and my middle name is her [first] name. So I feel like I truly have a responsibility to live up to her legacy that she's left on this earth. I hope I can do that.”
There’s no doubt that she will. With a role in The Fighting Temptations at three years old, a million-dollar record deal, a main role on five seasons of Grown-ish, five Grammy nominations, a number one solo record in Urban and Rhythmic Radio, a debut solo album, and starring roles in recently released movies Praise Thisand Swarm (just to name a few), Chlöe’s certainly already made her mark, and she’s just getting started.
Photographer & Creative Director: Derek Blanks
Executive Producer: Necole Kane
Co-Executive Producer: EJ Jamele
Producer: Erica Turnbull
Digitech: Chris Keller
DP: Alex Nikishin
Gaffer: Simeon Mihaylov
Photo Assistant: Chris Paschal
2nd Photo Assistant: Tyler Umprey
Features Editor: Kiah McBride
Special Projects: Tyeal Howell
Hair: Malcolm Marquez
Makeup: Yolonda Frederick
Fashion Styling: Ashley Sean Thomas
For More: Cover Story: Issa Rae Comes Full Circle
Halle Bailey Talks About The Pressures Of Experiencing A ‘Deep Love’ With DDG In The Public Eye
Singer and actress Halle Bailey caused quite a commotion online last January for being romantically linked to rapper Darryl Granberry Jr., also known as DDG, after the pair were spotted hanging out.
The shockwaves only grew stronger when they confirmed their relationship following Granberry's birthday post to Bailey in March 2022. Although the couple fully displayed their love by sharing glimpses of their relationship on social media and attending red-carpet events together, their romance would hit a snag in February of this year when fans noticed that Granberry unfollowed Bailey on Instagram and removed any traces of her on his page.
In addition to those actions, Granberry would write the cryptic tweet, "All these girls the same ain't no wayy." After receiving backlash from Bailey's fans and her sister--who ultimately recanted her statements, Granberry would confirm that the pair were still together and had never broken up. Since then, Bailey and Granberry have been avoiding controversy and living a normal life.
On April 24, during an interview with Vogue magazine, Bailey is revealing details about her relationship with Granberry and how challenging it is to balance fame and love while promoting her upcoming projects, The Little Mermaidand The Color Purple.
Halle On Her Romance With DDG
In the discussion, the 23-year-old expressed that her relationship with Granberry was the first time she had experienced a "deep love" for anybody outside of her family.
Bailey added that although love may be scary for most people due to the uncertainty that comes with it, she enjoys it because it's something she's "supposed to be going through in womanhood."
"Experiencing deep love for the first time in my life is something I feel has opened a whole new world for me creatively. What it feels like to love someone other than your family, like somebody you may not have known two years ago but now they're the center of your world," she says while describing her relationship with DDG. "I like all of the scary feelings that come with that. I like the suspense, the not knowing what's going to happen, and I feel like that's what I'm supposed to be going through in womanhood."
Halle On The Struggles With Fame And Being In Love
Later, the Grown-ish star mentioned the one downside of her relationship with Granberry. It includes the couple's celebrity status and the lack of privacy they have within their relationship, especially now with the highly anticipated films that Bailey is starring in.
"It's also deeply sacred. There's a lot of eyes on me now, especially with what's to come. And sometimes I wish I didn't have so many eyes on me, especially experiencing something like this for the first time," she explains.
To date, Bailey and Granberry have kept their relationship private by rarely sharing posts of each other online, leaving many to believe whatever they want.
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Feature image by Amy Sussman/Getty Images