Why We’re Sipping On This Apartment Bartender’s Cocktails
If Elliott Clark were to describe his ideal woman in cocktail terms, he'd tell you he likes them classic with a twist. Maybe an old-fashioned with muddled sour cherries or honey syrup with a dash of grapefruit bitters. Something different and surprising even—but still solid at their core.
"They'd have those classic foundation values to them that I perceive would be really important for a sustainable relationship and building a life with somebody," he says. "You know, that love and respect and forgiveness and trust. But on top of that, they have that uniqueness to them. Whether they're outgoing or more extroverted, or a little more adventurous, like that thing you can't find anywhere else."
It's safe to say that the Apartment Bartender knows what he likes, and knows just the right combination of ingredients to give you what you want—ironic considering this self-made liquor connoisseur just started mixing drinks two years ago.
What began as a hobby has turned into a budding lifestyle brand that's landed him partnerships with Express and on Buzzfeed's radar as an "Instagram Account to Follow." But accolades aside, it's the obvious love of his craft (and okay maybe a little eye candy too) that has us sipping on whatever carefully crafted boozy blend this mixologist serves.
After attending a Cocktails 101 class with a friend, Clark began snapping photos of his creations and posting them on Instagram, not imagining that there was a community of booze enthusiasts looking for creative cocktails.
"Apartment Bartender happened by complete accident," he says. "At the time when I started it I was kind of lacking a creative outlet in my life. I never set out like I'm going to turn this into a blog or I'm going to turn this into a social media platform and gain "x" amount of followers and it's going to be a full-time job. I never even envisioned that was possible."
Working on Apartment Bartender opened up the door to other passions, including photography and entrepreneurship, and it's also allowed him to use his gift to give back to others. In his spare time Clark works with Kids in Focus—an organization that pairs children from underprivileged backgrounds with professional photographers to help teach them to see themselves and their world in a new way.
"I don't think the world needs another cocktail or drink blog. If that's all that I am, I would consider that to be superficial."
"At the core of me I really believe in serving others, and I really consider myself as a person that would want to put others first before myself and find ways to lift others up. I think ultimately [Apartment Bartender] leads to the opportunity to make an impact in people's lives, and I think that's really what I seek to do because to be honest, I don't think the world needs another cocktail or drink blog; if that's all that I am, I would consider that to be superficial. So even though Apartment Bartender is that, that's why I love to utilize my platform in captions and anything that I can do."
He also credits his own entrepreneurial journey to inspiring and creating opportunities for friends. "I perceive that to be really cool, to see some of my best friends and people closest to me be able to experience other aspects of themselves and pick up new skills that they didn't think they were capable of because of some of the opportunities that I've opened up with what I'm doing."
But the journey hasn't come without its share of sacrifices. First, there was the fear of taking a risk and quitting his job as a software salesperson making six figures, just a year after launching Apartment Bartender for a career where the income was uncertain.
"When I make certain decisions I'm kind of fast-forwarding down the road and thinking will I regret the decision not to pursue it? So in the case of Apartment Bartender, that's ultimately what led me to do it, but I think my biggest fear was I'm making the wrong decision or taking a wrong step because my job looked good on the surface."
Clark doesn't consider himself to be a visionary, but he does believe in following your gut, and trusting that it will lead you where you want to go.
"I'm glad I did because that happiness and contentment that I feel, I never thought I'd be doing this. This is such a unique job and unique career for me that I don't think there'd be anything else that I'd rather be doing. And that's really fulfilling to be young and where I'm at, and doing something that I can wake up every morning and be like I can't wait to get to the office, I can't wait to work, I can't wait to work with this brand or to travel or make this drink recipe, that's a pretty unique feeling and I'm super grateful for that. "
While he's been successful in his business, his love life has taken a turn. Devoting his time to work took away from time spent nurturing his relationship, and ultimately Clark chose to follow his heart and pursue his passion.
"For some people, if that's what they want and can see the person they're with as a partner that they want to build their life with, they can do both," says Clark. "For me personally, I have plans in 2018 that I felt that I needed to go an individual path. Singleness is where I need to be right now. My career and seeing what it becomes outside of Apartment Bartender, it's something where I feel pretty selfish in my life that those are things I want to pursue, and I don't feel I'm in the right space to take someone else into consideration and to have that joint partnership."
To be clear, it's not that he doesn't believe pursuing your dream and embracing love can't coexist. He's just keeping it real—he's an all or nothing kind of guy.
"I think a foundational element to a relationship is service. Not so much what I can get out of it, but how am I really adding love and value to the person I'm with. I think in any relationship that should be a first thought, and if it's not my first thought of taking someone's interest other than my own and being with them and that being a top priority, it's tough to really make that work when your heart isn't 100% there."
Don't worry, ladies. When the time is right, he knows how to wine and dine. "I consider myself from how I dress and how I carry myself to be more classic style. I'm like an old-fashioned guy. I open the door for people and say thank you, you know treat people well."
A date with the Apartment Bartender may include a surprise cocktail. He'll ask your spirit of choice, whether you want it refreshing or more liquor heavy, and tailor the drink to your taste. Or, if you want to keep it simple, his daiquiris aren't to be dismissed.
"If I was on a date, I think it's important to know the person and craft something that's unique to them or unique to the moment," he says.
In the meantime, you can find this classic man serving up free knowledge on Instagram or on the Apartment Bartender website.
"What I hope to try to do is educate people on what else is out there so that they can develop more of a pallet. It's not so much what you drink that defines you, it's what you're closed off to drinking. I don't think a lot of people take the time to really investigate more of what's out there, whether it be agave spirits or different spirits like Cachaça. There's so much around to drink that I guarantee that I can make you any spirit that you want and you'll like it."
On that note, bottoms up.
For more Elliot, follow him on Instagram.
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Took Three Months Off From Work In The Name Of Radical Self-Preservation
In the fourth quarter of 2023, I finally did it. I pulled the plug! To be honest, it was a long time coming. I spent years juggling all of the balls in my life, and on October 2, 2023, I dropped every one of them and fell into surrender mode.
I couldn’t take it anymore - work, family, relationships, politics, death, the ramifications of COVID-19, and my fears creeping in. I had either put off dealing with these things, or I simply didn’t want to acknowledge them. Instead, my time, energy, and focus were on everyone and everything beside me. I pushed myself to the limit; then everything started to consume me. Burnout was swallowing me whole, you feel me?
All of this forced me to do some much-needed introspection which I turned into my self-proclaimed, "Fade to Black Season."
What is a “Fade to Black Season,” you may ask?
It’s a call to rest.
It’s a call to reset.
It’s a call to retreat into a deep, quiet space.
It’s radical self-preservation.
Deciding to step back from everything was not an easy decision for me. I contemplated taking a break from everything for many years until I couldn’t put it off anymore. If I didn’t take this time off, I knew I wouldn’t be able to truly show up for the life that I claimed that I wanted for myself.
I know I’m not the only one who has felt this immense weight on their shoulders. Why? Because I’m a Black woman. According to Every Level Leadership, 88% of Black women sometimes often, or always have experienced burnout. And let’s be honest here - Black women work harder than any other group. We are the backbone of our jobs, families, and community. Because of this, we must incorporate rest as an integral part of our well-being. In case there’s some pushback, I’ll leave this quote here for you to marinate on:
“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” - Zora Neale Hurston
The reality is that with piles of work and life obligations, many of us are walking time bombs. And, for me, two weeks of PTO/vacation wasn’t enough time needed to balance myself, so I took three months off. If you feel called to do so, let this be your inspiration to take your own “Fade to Black Season.”
Here’s what I did.
- Shadow Work: I became best friends with my journal and illuminated the things I hid from myself to heal. Shadow work consists of the things you don’t like about yourself, your conscious and unconscious fears, and other negative emotions that exist due to past experiences and trauma.
- Trigger Warning: During this time, I let my triggers become my wisest teacher. I asked myself why various experiences, news, or communications resulted in negativity. I observed them, listened, and learned why they took up so much space in my life. Then, I allowed myself to choose to be open to a different outcome or feeling moving forward.
- Get Back To Pleasure: I re-centered my pleasure. I had to remind myself of what turned me on. I allowed myself to take life slowly, engage my senses, and play. I signed up for every tantra workshop, went to art museums in the middle of the day, took movement classes, and went to dance parties. I moved all the stagnant energy out of my body.
- Let Others Lift You Up: I let my people love on me. I let my loved ones take care of me. This wasn’t easy. I was used to being everyone’s support system and soft space to land. However, in my time of need, I finally let my tribe show up and show out for me. My only regret is not letting them do this sooner.
- Social Media Break: I broke up with social media during this time. Reclaiming my time and attention was an integral factor in calming my nervous system. I put blockers on my phone, and when I felt the urge to swipe and scroll, I took a walk or picked up a book.
- Redefine Your Life: After doing this type of work, I knew that I would never be the same. In this new space, boundaries and balance are prioritized, and everything else has to fall in line. I now have the mental/emotional space and capacity to do my best work!
Best of all, during this time, I found God in myself, and I loved her, fiercely.
My “Fade To Black" Season allowed me to grieve in peace, rest, tap into unrelenting joy, and simply be. At this point, me and peace got a good thing going on. Nothing else will be tolerated!
For those of you who are nervous about taking the first step, use The Dufree Foundation’s DIY Sabbatical Guide to help you plan, prep, and prepare yourself for your sabbatical - this is something I wish I had done before I leaped. Consider going on a Divine Pause Retreat to learn tips and tricks to avoid mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual burnout.
For those who work in social impact, apply for The Durfee Sabbatical program, which offers $60,000 and a three-month sabbatical, so nonprofit leaders can be a lever for whole systems change.
The choice to take a sabbatical is up to you! Just remember to prioritize yourself and never pour from an empty cup.
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Featured image by Maskot/Getty Images