Why Aren't We Talking About The Death Of Korryn Gaines?
In August of 2016, a mother lost her daughter, two children lost their parent, and a 23-year-old woman lost her life. That woman was Maryland native, Korryn Gaines. Whether you've heard her name before now or this is your first time, it's clear that we haven't said her name enough.
A little more than two years ago, Korryn Gaines was shot and killed while holding her five-year-old son in a Baltimore apartment after a six-hour standoff with police officers. Although the offending officer was not charged criminally, he was found guilty by a jury in a civil trial in February of 2018 and ordered to pay the Gaines family $37 million.
Although this may have been a small victory in the Black community's fight against police violence, it was short lived. It was recently announced that a Maryland judge has now decided to overturn the settlement, saying that Officer Royce Ruby was "objectively reasonable" in his decision to fatally shoot Korryn Gaines, who had been previously declared mentally ill, and inadvertently harm her young son.
My aim in writing this article is not to pick apart the details or criticize the decisions of either party. Even though I could easily take it there, I won't mention the fact that police initially only showed up at Korryn's door to serve a misdemeanor traffic warrant or the fact that dangerous suspects have been apprehended before without being fatally shot. I won't talk about critics of Korryn, who feel that there were things she could have done differently to protect the lives of both her and her son.
But what I do want to know is, why aren't we talking about it?
Although Korryn's story is much different from the other members of our community that we've lost to gun violence, we must acknowledge this tragedy for exactly what it is: Oppression. Regardless of the details of that tragic day, can we all agree that a young woman's civil liberties were violated?
Yet, the narrative has been spun so that we are more likely to come up with the reasons she deserved to die, rather than all of the reasons why she deserved to live.
The media is so infatuated with acts of violence against Black bodies, that it's become a sort of porn for digital users. We've become so desensitized to these deaths, that we've stopped saying their names. Our anger as Black women has evolved into numbness, and we find ways to justify our abusers in an effort to satiate our rage.
The question I'd like to ask is, what if Korryn were your sister, cousin, or best friend? Despite your critique of how she could have done things differently, would she still deserve to die? It's my personal opinion that the Black community as a whole has a tendency to be much more critical of Black women, even in the cases of their own murder.
There are a few ways to remedy this. First, we must prioritize mental health as Black women. The day Korryn was shot, it was reported that she had skipped her medication. Although erratic behavior is not justification for murder, we have to confront mental illness head-on so that we have some control in these chaotic situations.
Secondly, let's stop playing respectability politics when it comes to the issue of Black death. Korryn Gaines had beliefs that were not socially acceptable, and that's what made her dangerous.
I will keep it G with you. It makes no difference to me how Korryn could or should have acted. I will hold the boys in blue accountable for every death that could have been prevented.
I challenge you today to not look for the flaw in your sisters, but to see them as human and say their names. The Gaines family plans to appeal the judge's decision, and our hopes and prayers are with them on their journey to justice.
- Judge Overturns $38M Settlement To Korryn Gaines Family - YouTube ›
- Judge dismisses $38 million civil case in death of Korryn Gaines ›
- Judge Overturns $37 Million Settlement In Death Of Korryn Gaines ›
- Judge overturns $37 million award in death of Korryn Gaines ›
- Baltimore County Judge Overturns Korryn Gaines $38 Million ... ›
- Baltimore County Judge Overturns Korryn Gaines $38 Million ... ›
- Judge Overturns $38M Verdict In Civil Lawsuit Filed By Family Of ... ›
- Judge Overturns $38 Million Settlement To Korryn Gaines' Family ... ›
- Judge overturns $38M verdict in lawsuit over Baltimore County ... ›
- Judge overturns $37+M settlement to Korryn Gaines' family | WBFF ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Stress Awareness Month: Sneaky Workplace Triggers Affecting Black Women, And How To Cope
We all know about the major stress triggers of everyday life, from relationship woes to monthly bills to unexpected emergencies, but there are small, subtle triggers that impact Black women in a big way, especially when it comes to work. It’s good to be aware of these sneaky stressors in order to maximize your day and find ways to incorporate solutions into your self-care routines.
Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
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How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
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