Sometimes a deferred dream can unveil new dreams and realities for our life and careers.
Meet Lily Doxy, a Business Marketing Manager at Verizon. After graduating from Howard University, the New Jersey native decided to take a short break from her post-college law school dreams. Difficulties finding a job during the recession led to Lily taking what she thought would be a temporary position at her local Verizon store as a store greeter. To her surprise, she never left.
Now, eleven years later, Lily's day-to-day work is focused on helping small businesses, startups, and entrepreneurs succeed. In 2017, she started "From the Ground Up" – a series to meet small business owners and give them a platform to share their stories.
I chatted with Lily about her ascension through various roles and ranks at Verizon and how she's been able to be a boss in and out of corporate settings. Having a strategy and understanding how to navigate what can be a competitive playing field is key. Lily shares the key things we goal-getters can do to make sure we get the shine we deserve at work.
1. Take Advantage of New Opportunities.
Though Lily originally had her heart set on law school after college, she was open to exploring new possibilities as they opened up. She remembers, "I took the opportunity [at Verizon] because I figured law school isn't going anywhere. If I wanted to go back, I could always do that."
Little did she know that her decision to temporarily work at a Verizon store would be the catalyst moment in her career. Because of her standout work ethic, a manager noticed her work and encouraged her to apply to corporate where she was eventually hired. This meant Lily now had access to perks of working at a Fortune 500 company, such as great medical benefits and tuition reimbursement (if she ever wanted to return to school).
2. Be Strategic.
Make sure you keep your connections and don't burn any bridges if you want to stay in the same company. Lily notes that many of her positions were "acting roles", where after the acting length had expired, she could be demoted or out of work. Because she was determined to deliver her best work wherever she was placed and had built a strong network of internal advocates, she was always able to secure the next position and survive company-wide reorganizations.
Using this strategy, she was able to move from position to position within Verizon. "All the jobs I got were from people who [had] known me before [and said] I know her and I'll take the risk. She might not have done this before, but I know she can do it because she's smart."
3. Build Your Transferable Skills & Make that Leap.
Sometimes the key to promotion will be making horizontal leaps. Though Lily started out in operations, she decided to apply for a marketing manager position during another one of her "in-between" periods at the company. Though she had never worked in marketing before, the hiring manager worked with her and trusted that she could get the job done.
Mastering the basic skills of any job will help as you try to make cross-company moves. "The transferrable skills I have of being organized and being able to pick up things quickly is a big asset...I've been in operations. I know how to do processes."
Take advantage of company-led trainings to help grow your skill repertoire. Though Lily was innately creative and had acquired a process-oriented strategic-driven mindset during her experience in operations, she hadn't mastered everything. "At Verizon, there's a lot of internal teaching and training that we have that will teach us different soft skills in marketing."
There were no excuses on why she wouldn't be able to succeed in the role when she had access to tools to help her learn. "I always have the mindset of I don't know everything and I'm going to continue to learn. If you keep your mind open, you're able to learn from other people to enhance what you can do."
Her favorite business refreshers include Instagram explore, Hubspot and Google Primer.
Photo Credit: Woodline Dorcin
"I always have the mindset of I don't know everything and I'm going to continue to learn. If you keep your mind open, you're able to learn from other people to enhance what you can do."
4. Know Your Company.
"What Verizon does well is change..and adapting to what is going on now..."
Lily credits Verizon as being a great company to grow one's career. Making sure the company you're at is the right fit for your career goal and has the opportunities for you to grow is crucial. Not every company will be able to provide resources and support for your desired professional career moves. With Lily being a woman who supports change and prides herself on being abreast of what's next – there was a great employee-company personality and vision match.
5. Stop Following the Rules and Make Your Own.
When Lily first entered Marketing at Verizon, she worked in SMB (small/medium business) and was tasked with finding a new way to make SMB matter at a larger scale. However, her initial events weren't getting any traction. "We sent out a ton of invites and only six people showed up."
So, she decided to shake things up. "I stopped following the Verizon way of doing things and went rogue and did it on my own terms."
She created an event that she called "From The Ground Up" and contacted Tawanna Morris – owner of House of Chic LA to be its inaugural speaker. By way of their networks, within 72 hours, 300 people signed up to hear Tawanna share her business story. Due to the event's success, she was able to get buy-in from Verizon to continue and expand the series.
6. Treat Your Job as Your Own Business.
Having an entrepreneurial mindset on the job can help you score career wins. Lily's ability to self-motivate, and be goal-focused especially, helped her build clout and drive results for her team. "When you are in a corporate setting, you are often called to work independently. When you work independently, you want to treat your projects or job as your own business...you have to take responsibility for yourself. You have to fight for some of the stuff you want. You have to take some of the things personal – so [you] know that it's on [you]."
Because she decided to take full responsibility and treat From The Ground Up as a special project she "owned", she was committed to making it successful. "When I choose the panels or events, I have to make sure that we are picking people that will do [themselves] and me some justice... I want to make sure my brand within the company stays the same."
Your work is a reflection of you. Doing excellent work can lead to unexpected blessings.
Lily now serves on the national events team – which is a goal she didn't have when she originally joined Verizon 11 years ago. Using the knowledge learned, coupled with her professional success at Verizon, Lily recently launched The Eve Brand - a consultancy that specializes in assisting businesses learn how to secure sponsorship and funding.
If your goal is to grow within your company – you most certainly can. No matter where you're starting from, set your goals high – and your ambition higher. No one can stop a woman with drive determined to leave her mark.
To listen to Lily's full story, listen to episode 183 of Dreams In Drive below or by clicking here.
Featured image by Woodline Dorcin.
RELATED
Â
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images
