Soulmate:"A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner."
The term "soulmate" has stirred up quite the controversy and confusion throughout the years. While some wholeheartedly believe God has created someone out there perfectly designed for each of us, others couldn't disagree more and continue to ride the "searching for love" rollercoaster until it feels right. Well, if you've ever doubted the validity of soulmates, and if they do in fact exist for all of us, the love story of Jay and Ernestine Morrison will rid you of any doubts.
The Cali and New Jersey natives were two individuals from different walks of life who ironically shared a similar life path, almost identical, surprisingly enough.
You may remember Ernestine Morrison, formerly Ernestine Johnson, from her viral spoken word piece, "Average Black Girl" which aired on The Arsenio Hall Show back in 2014. Ernestine is an actress, performance poet, and entrepreneur who aims to enrich the Black community through her words and activism, which she's been actively doing for years.
While Ernestine was busy walking in her purpose of inspiring, educating and changing lives in the Black community, little did she know, her future husband and soulmate, Jay Morrison, was busy doing the exact same thing.
Jay Morrison, business mogul, real estate developer, and national influencer is all about educating and changing lives, just like Ernestine. With his several organizations, in which he serves as Founder & CEO, Jay educates the black community on social injustice, real estate, socio-economic repair, and a number of informative community topics.
Ernestine and Jay's life's work alone made them seem like a match made in heaven from the very beginning. But it wasn't until later, when the couple solidified a soulmate connection, that they understand the power of their love.
During their initial encounter, a platonic business meeting, Ernestine felt an instant connection the moment she walked in the room. A mutual friend suggested they meet because they shared a similar professional mission without knowing that they would ultimately end up spending a lifetime together.
"When I walked into his office, I felt like my whole world stopped. The frequency and the energy in the room was just so powerful to me, I was just like oh ok what is this!? (laughs) It was far beyond a business attraction for me," Ernestine shared with xoNecole.
She told Madame Noire:
"It was all smiles, giggles and laughs. I knew that day that he would be in my life for a while. We knew the [more] we talked. I felt like he was the man I was going to marry."
Of course, she wasn't alone because Jay was instantly drawn to her as well, setting the pace for their official relationship to blossom months later.
"I thought that she had great energy, thorough, successful, powerful, and well put together. It was all very professional at that point. I was in a relationship and was not even eyeing other women in any kind of capacity," Jay expressed to xoNecole.
After months of working side by side in hopes of helping their community and people, and also realizing just how perfectly aligned their goals were to one another, it wasn't long before their professional relationship turned romantic. Jay told Madame Noire:
"I was having issues in my relationship and professionally transitioning, so I can't say I needed [Ernestine], but I knew I needed a woman like that. Our friendly conversations became extra friendly and then I segued out of my relationship and then eventually we began the dating phase."
After several months of dating, on July 21st 2018, they made their commitment to forever. The newlywed groom shared that the moment he met Ernestine, he recognized that she deserved everything this world had to offer, including his last name. He continued:
"I felt like she deserved to have a husband and not a boyfriend. And I deserved to have a wife, not a girlfriend. It's about maturity, growth, and the journey to something that's more impactful so we can leave this world better than how we came."
As they both continue to walk in their purpose, now as husband and wife, they have a greater mission at hand collectively when it comes to changing their community and the overall lives of their people. Their main goal is to enhance financial wealth and ownership within the black community and leave a legacy for their family. They shared:
"We aspire to be the go-to couple for empowering, inspiring, and intentionally being the leading voices for bettering our community. [We aspire to be a picture of] spiritual alignment [and] humility within success."
Instagram/@jayandejlive
The love this power couple shares shows us how following our individual life purpose can directly align us not only to right opportunities but can perfectly position us to possibly one day meeting our soulmate.
To keep up with their continued mission in love and community, be sure to follow them at @MsErnestineMorrison & @MrJayMorrison.
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I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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