I'm Having My Fibroid Surgically Removed Through My Vagina & I'm Terrified
On April 10, I will have a Hysteroscopic Myomectomy — a surgical procedure that removes fibroids through the vagina.
To give you a little backstory, in December of 2016, I went in for my annual pap smear. Since I had been without insurance for almost three years, seeing a doctor was both terrifying and a relief (thank you, Obamacare). When I hit my mid-20s, I noticed something was off. I had always had a heavy cycle, but my bleeding was much heavier, and I couldn't move from my bed five days out of my seven-day cycle.
I'd just chalked it up to getting older, but since I was going in for a checkup, I wanted to ask my doctor questions.
After my pap smear was complete, the doctor asked if I had any questions. I told him that my periods were much heavier than usual and asked if there was a possibility that I may have developed fibroids since they run in my family. "Fibroids aren't genetic, and I didn't feel any during your exam," he said.
In my Google search, I read that black woman are three times more likely to develop fibroids than any other group in the US. I also stumbled upon a study that linked relaxers to uterine fibroids. There has to be reason fibroids are prominent in black women, right?
But since he was the "expert" in the room, I didn't ask any more questions fibroids. "I've heard birth control pills can help the heavy bleeding, do you have any recommendations?" I asked.
He prescribed me Levora and sent me on my way. Birth control was something I'd stayed away from because I'd heard horror stories of women becoming depressed, having prolonged cycles, and hormones fluctuating so much, it affected their physical appearance — but I was desperate. After almost nine months of taking the pill, I found myself in a Los Angeles emergency room. As I was telling the nurses why I was there, I felt like a drama queen.
Who goes to the emergency room because of their period?
After checking my blood, I was prescribed iron pills and told that if I had another cycle like this one, I would likely need a blood transfusion because I'd lost so much blood.
Since I was new to Los Angeles, the ER nurse assigned me a gynecologist for a follow-up appointment. He was known as one of the most thorough and caring doctors at Kaiser, but LA traffic caused me to miss my appointment, so I rescheduled with another doctor. When I arrived to my new doctor's office, I changed into my paper gown, laid down, put my feet in the stirrups, and stared at the fake clouds on the ceiling.
A few moments later, a black woman entered the room. I was surprised but also happy to see her walk through the door. She introduced herself and pulled up my chart. "Why were you in the emergency room?"
After giving her the details, she asked: "Do you have a history of a blood disorder?" No. "DId your doctor in Atlanta do any additional tests or an ultrasound?" No, but he did prescribe me Levora. "Yes, Levora is known to help with heavy bleeding and should have helped with your symptoms. Let's do a pelvic exam and run some tests to see what's going on."
"Do you want kids?" she asked. "Yes," I said holding back tears.
After a cervix exam, blood work, and ultrasound— I did indeed have a fibroid. Not only did I have a fibroid, but it was protruding out of my uterus, which explained why I was in so much pain and the reason my birth control wasn't helping.
Had my first doctor taken the time to listen to my concerns, I would have known my issues were not just hormonal.
After that appointment, my nurse scheduled a saline ultrasound. During a saline ultrasound, the doctor opens up the cervix, inserts a small tube into the vagina, and injects saline into the cavity. It was as painful as it sounds (I even had to sign a waiver), but after the appointment, I decided I wanted to have my fibroid surgically removed. I was given a number to call to schedule my surgery but it took nearly three weeks for me to develop enough courage to dial the number.
But when I picked up the phone to call, I started to cry. Not just cry, but ugly cry. The reality that I had to schedule surgery on my uterus set in for the first time.
I am terrified of having this surgery. I know women that have been through this and understand that millions of women have been in my shoes, but that doesn't make me any less afraid. I had to ask myself a question:
Do I put this off and continue to be in pain, or do I put my fear aside and go for the surgery?
I have a lot of things working in my favor. I have a black woman as my doctor. My family is flying out to be with me. Oh, and I won't have to send an email each month to saying, "I'm not feeling well enough to work today," or "I'm so sorry I couldn't make your event over the weekend because I have a non-cancerous tumor in my uterus that is causing me so much pain I can't stand up straight and makes me so tired that I can barely open my eyes today."
Okay, I've never written this email, but that's what I'm thinking whenever I have to send the generic "I'm not feeling well" message.
Since confirming my operation, I've been trying not to think or talk about it because I start to cry. Being vulnerable is much harder for me than being "strong." Over the last couple of weeks, I've been more open to talking to other women about their experiences, and also admitted to myself and those closest to me that I'm scared.
Acknowledging fear doesn't mean your weak, it just reminds us that we're human.
It took a move to California, an ER visit, and a new doctor to find out why my body was out of whack, but I'm on my way to getting my life back. If it were up to me, I would have taken a holistic approach. No one wants to have surgery, but the reality is that what works for one woman may not be an option for me because while our symptoms are similar, our bodies are different.
Whether that's going on the pill to help with bleeding, taking the holistic route, opting to have surgery, or doing all of the above, ultimately, we have to decide what feels right for us.
There should be no judgment, only support.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Uterine Fibroids-Surgery ›
- What is a Myomectomy? Fibroid Removal Surgery | CIGC ›
- Surgical Treatments for Fibroids | NICHD - Eunice Kennedy Shriver ... ›
- Fibroids | Get The Facts — Uncovered: The Truth about GYN Surgery ›
- Uterine fibroids: Surgery - National Library of Medicine - PubMed ... ›
- Fibroids Surgery: Myomectomy, Hysterectomy Open Surgery ›
- Uterine Fibroid Removal Surgery | Azura Vascular Care ›
Bianca Lambert is a proud Atlanta native soaking up the Los Angeles sun. She is the founder of Mae B: a stationery company for women of color and a digital content creator on a mission to elevate the voices of women of color everywhere.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
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DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
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Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing:Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl:Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
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Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
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Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence'sinaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
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Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
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Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
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Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
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Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
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Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
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Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
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Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
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AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
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Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl:Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
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Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty