Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
You know how many of us, ladies, keep wondering why men don’t have the same sexy, handsome looks of yesteryear? That look from the ‘60s to the ‘90s? I FOUND THEM. And guess what? They’re doing what “real” men do best…simply making themselves handy (and not just in the traditional, gendered sense of the word). These fellas make it easy to fantasize about the reality that there are still good men out there – men who come into the lives of women and make it easier and softer by contributing every day but meaningful ways.
No, I don’t know them in real life because I found them via TikTok, but that’s the fun of fantasizing. You get to take one piece of the pie and make up the rest of it as you go alone. It’s like a game of MASH–choose your fighter and then go from there.
When I was watching their videos, I was totally unaware that my libido had been laying so low OR how attractive a useful man was until I tuned in to these guys (it started with Cam, and you’ll see why shortly). And I don’t mean to make it sound like men are only as good as what they can do for you, but I think it’s safe to say that far too many men are weaponizing their incompetence and enjoy being cared for but aren’t as quick to pour back into the women keeping their day-to-day afloat. Not even in minimal ways.
That said, these men seem to be a breath of fresh air on a sunshiny day. And, allow me to be wholesome and candid for a minute but they made me optimistic that there is hope for us after all. That we can find husbands and fathers who allow us to exist in this world with less harm and hope.
And, on a less wholesome note… never mind. I choose to keep it cute, but you’ll soon know exactly why this feels like a helluva task in just a moment. The other refreshing thing about many of these videos is the ASMR vibes – very cathartic to watch; really brings a sense of peace and calm over you. And, not to gas it, but if watching a man in action in that way via TikTok does that, JUST imagine what having the real thing would be like. My God.
Here are seven Black men on TikTok making everyday living look thirstrappy AF.
Cam
@renaissancecam subsist ⚙️ #vlog #dailyvlog #sundayvlog #peace #adayinthelife #gardening #handyman #rotties #bbq #pitmaster #juicing #health #healthy #fruit #fyp #explore #foryou #viral #menshealth #farming #country #outdoors #dogs #landscaping #food #vibes
Not only does Cam (28 and single) understand the assignment when it comes to carefully selecting Sunday’s cleaning playlist but he also was handcrafted by God himself, giving us #TradMan in only the best ways possible. Based on my lurking/Inspector Gadget deep dive through his content, he chops wood, gardens, fishes, and cooks–it’s no mistake that his handle is Renaissance Cam. And, ladies, I was able to get a few other little details about him because we all know curiosity kills the cat. No need to stay curious when we can just know. Yes, he’s single. He’s a Leo. And his ideal first date is a picnic at his favorite sunset island near one of the spots where he likes to fish.
Derwynn
@lifeofdwho Look how dirty my washing machine was 🤢🤮 . . #sundayreset #sundayroutine #cleaninghacks #cleaningmotivation #homefragrance #fyp #explorepage
Next up is Derwynn, who is more of a modern man. His content centers on his Sunday resets which entail deep cleaning his home–and, if you know, you know–Black household law is that this type of cleaning must occur on Sundays. And, man, ol’ man, does he make cleaning look good. It’s no wonder more men don’t do this willingly. Most have speculated that he’s a Virgo, but he’s actually a Cancer (but maybe he has other Virgo placements throughout?)
Deon
@chakmahtheking Brcome someone you woukd be proud of‼️ Don’t settle, you’re a KING! Follw me on IG @chakmahtheking #fyp #diy #motivation #jackofalltrades #king
Mister DIY himself, in living color! Admittedly, I did have to mute that Rocky music, but all the fix-it action 100 percent makes up for that. I don’t know him, but it’s giving “my man, my man, my man” type of delusion the minute I saw him handle that power tool (like my little pun). Unlike the first two, Deon isn’t quite as subtle in his understanding that he is indeed a prize (not to be confused with thee prize, y’all). But, he is, in fact, a man that adds value in many ways. And, this is what we mean when we say bring back these men – the good with their hands, easy on the eyes type men – and we’ll bust out the apron and the table settings.
Oklahoma Cowboys
@oklahomacowboys0 🤠 #oklahomacowboys #rodeo #blackcowboys #fyp #explorepage #cowboy #blacktiktok #fypシ #losangeles #countryboy #billpickettrodeo #race
When Destiny’s Child said, “they always be talkin’ that country slang,” I imagine these are the type of men they had in mind. Cause the video alone gone bring out my Southern ancestors in my spirit, and I was born and raised in Michigan. Babbbby, this is a retro type of man, and I’m here for it. It’s also a personal belief of mine that it speaks volumes about a man’s ability to nurture in the way that they care for animals and, in turn, the way animals respond to them. What’s that they say about animals and children being the best judges of character? Unfortunately, we don’t have a name for this cowboy, but fortunately, this page is action-packed with other cowboys.
John Doe
@atvmvp #honda #hondaaccord #carsoftiktok #cars #bodywork #painting #spraypaint #restoration #accidentrepair #southcarolina #blackmen #cartok #cartiktok #7thgenaccord #blackentrepreneur #blackdudes #budgetfriendly #voiceover #countryboy
While it’s always safest to have a bald-headed daddy to handle all your car issues, it definitely doesn’t hurt to have a car-fixing zaddy on call, too. Well, here you go! Out in the garage, in the hoop shorts and the slides – now him coming inside smelling like outside, car parts, and fading cologne. We also stan a frugal, problem-solving king! Peep how he purchased a used car and a five-dollar can of spray paint and got to work. The definition of getting it out the mud, if you ask me.
Stephen
@styleunrivaled #fyp #trending #viral #atx #car #ignitioncoil
Impressive, I must say. This gentleman, Stephen, walks us through replacing his ignition coils, but he also makes himself useful in other ways. That’s word to his other TikTok, where he offers the young fellas who want to argue about why women aren’t submissive instead of giving them something worth submitting to advice.
Lee
@leeshomeimprovement Deck for the chicken coop #fyp #foryou #dmv #blacktiktok #watchthis #explore #HousestoHomes #HomeImprovement #BuildingstoCompanies #blackmenbuilds #building #constructing #StayFocused #menwithdreads #follow #share #baltimore #HGTV
While this video doesn’t quite show Lee’s face, it does show his craftsmanship. I mean, it looks secure enough–I don’t know too much about building decks, but I do know this looks about right.. As for the rest, I scoped out the facecard on his other videos, and he is worthy of this list.
These men were difficult to come by, and I’m not sure if it has to do with the ratio of podcast mics to rakes/power drills/etc. Or because they’re simply not documenting themselves. But you should know that we’re looking for some more of these men folk to lust after while they check off the one honey-do list item within their reach through the internet … the one with my Rosé. Send more over! Tag them. I might even start a Make Men Great Again campaign on behalf of these brothas.
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Feature image by @renaissancecam/ Instagram, @steviie_j/ Instagram, @derwynnwho/ Instagram
According To TikTok, This Wellness Concoction Is The Cheat Code To Getting That 'Slip N Slide'
Being a woman is no easy feat. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here – I do! But, it’s not for the faint of heart. And, by faint of heart, I mean men.
Here’s the short list of things we navigate (in no particular order) that make me know God is, in fact, a woman: menstruation, men (good, bad, and ugly), motherhood, and maintaining the motherfucking magic in our relationships. We hold shit down. We get shit done.
There’s simply no denying that, at our best, women are godly! We’re also imaginative, crafty, and intuitive when we allow ourselves to be. We listen to and know our bodies like no other. Though, with Western medicine and generally being displaced from our roots, I think many of us have become out of touch with what’s natural to us and for us. However, I believe we’re attempting to return to what feels right–what feels natural.
What To Know About Okra Water
TikTok has made it a bit easier as we’ve been able to hear first-person accounts of natural remedies such as okra water and its benefits for all things womanly, and then some. You’ve seen what I’m talking about–all the hype around okra water providing additional vaginal lubrication for women and also, its ability to make for easier labor for expecting mothers.
What Is Okra Water?
@charleanleonora We unlocking new levels of self care. Don’t sleep on this stuff and get my e-book! 🤎 #plantbased #naturalremedy #okrawater #womenhygiene
Benefits of Drinking Okra Water
@goldennn_xo6 I hope this helps 💕 #naturalbirth #homebirth #okrawater #okraforpregnancy #naturallaboranddelivery #fypシ #fyp #thefindguru
Between its believed contributions to digestive health and blood sugar control, drinking okra water has a lot going for itself in terms of possible health benefits. One of its most sought-after benefits is the helping hand it lends to those laboring children. Though there isn't a lot of science to support these claims, there’s lots of talk about how okra water can assist with the birthing process, with labor said to be easier through reduced pain, and the added lubrication is thought to help the baby "slide out" during the actual birth.
The believed increase in vaginal lubrication that the concoction is said to create is believed to be another benefit of regularly consuming okra water. Let me add there have been women warning against just how much additional lubrication (Smuckers, gushy-gushy, that wet-wet) it can cause. And, I would say heed this warning if you are someone who feels embarrassed by maybe the idea of squirting and excessive wetness.
The bulk of the knowledge around these particular health benefits is anecdotal, and while there does seem to be other health benefits, we can’t be certain of which ones and the quantity of nutrients being infused into the water in this form.
How To Make Okra Water
@maryamjhampton Replying to @RH How I make Okra Water! #okrawater #healthtips #womenshealth
Making okra water is a rather straightforward process. The simplest way is taking okra pods (frozen or fresh but preferably organic) and putting them in an encapsulated bottle with water to soak for up to 24 hours. Once you’ve made it, rest assured it will have a very thick and slimy texture–this is where it gets subjective. I could try it and tell you my experience, but I’ve seen some people say the flavor isn’t that bad while others say that they can’t handle the texture.
But, once you’ve made the okra water, feel free to mix it in with drinks like lemonade or a complimentary tea. And, as a pro tip, you can even add mint to infuse with your water to further enhance the taste. Though, I’m thinking when people are trying to enhance the taste it’s the texture they’re trying to distract from as many people seem to think the flavor is manageable–texture? Not so much.
You can also add okra water to smoothies, or make popsicles from it – the sky’s the limit when you’re an okra pod.
I know there’s this natural urge to be distrustful of things that haven’t been proven by…well…Western medicine. Though the research is not there in that regard, it seems to be common knowledge and a useful remedy amongst the African community.
I want to point out that our ancestors disseminated and passed along information for generations anecdotally. They shared their first-hand accounts of what worked and what didn’t work. So now, here I am, sharing the stories of others because this is how we get the recipes back! I do encourage everyone to do their due diligence when going the holistic route.
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The pandemic marked a shift in many societal norms, and not many were fun – except one – the reemergence of micro weddings!
Say what you will about weddings, but watching micro weddings throughout the pandemic brought so much joy and hopefulness in the opening act of despair as we know it (because, as we now know, COVID was just the tip of the iceberg). However, I’m sure it felt a bit turbulent to the couples at the time, or at least those forced to switch to a micro wedding after months or even years of planning a…macro…wedding.
What Is a Micro Wedding?
If you’re somehow behind on the times, micro weddings are more intimate in size but still have all of the imagination and extravagance of traditional weddings (if not more). This differs from a shotgun-style wedding in Vegas or at the courthouse. The magic number is 50 guests or under.
I recall a fellow alum from my college taking wedding photos in a beautiful gown with a ton of hot air balloons floating above her–in my network alone the micro wedding aesthetic went off!
Though this particular genre of weddings became popularized during the pandemic, micro weddings have always been an option. And, though you might think they’re on the decline since the pandemic is “over” one TikToker predicts they will continue gaining traction and becoming preferable over traditional weddings. This is largely based on the decline in wedding guest counts that predate 2020.
According to The Knot, weddings have gone from an average size of about 136 in 2017 to decreasing to an average size of 115 guests in 2023.
Something Old, Something New
What’s news to me is the existence of a "minimony," also known as a "mini wedding ceremony"–a new concept coined during the pandemic. Although both minimony and micro weddings prioritize intimacy, there are a few key differences, including how intimate the event gets. Size matters! So, while a guestlist of 50 is acceptable for a micro wedding, it’s closer to a perfect 10 as far as a minimony is concerned.
The other standout piece is that a minimony focuses more on the ceremonial aspect of the wedding – it’s closer to an elopement-style wedding than it is to a traditional wedding – focusing on the sharing of vows and cultural traditions. There is usually an officiant and a photographer, but rarely a full-blown reception. This portion of the ceremony is condensed down to a couple of desserts, allowing guests to celebrate with newlyweds closely.
Finding the One
Ultimately, finding the right wedding fit for you will rely on a variety of factors such as budget, family closeness and size, quality time with guests, convenience, and much more.
As a girlie who has only ever wanted to get married to appease my ego-driven Leo rising, yet is still on the spectrum of introversion – the micro wedding feels ideal because it meets that need without breaking the bank. I don’t know if I could justify tens of thousands on a wedding simply to have all eyes on me–especially because I’d much rather justify booking a flight or two with it. If I see a wedding in my lifetime, know this is where it’s at for me!
At the end of the day, so much of planning a wedding is truly about the individuals involved and their preferences. And, so you’ll want to consider how a micro wedding may or may not meet your needs when you begin the planning process.
LumiNola/Getty Images
Want to have a micro wedding? Here are some tips to assist with the planning process:
- A venue that vibes: Turns out “location, location, location” isn’t just talk for real estate enthusiasts. You will want to make sure you carefully choose a venue that fits your micro wedding just right. I hadn’t considered how important this might be until I had, but an extra large space on an intimate-sized wedding takes away from the intended intimacy – makes it feel unintentional and vacant. Consider spaces such as a rustic barn, restaurant, garden, or even your backyard.
- Small talk: You’ll want to inform your vendors that you’re going small – this will allow them to tailor their packages to meet your needs.
- DIY on the decor: Now that you’ve decided to entertain a smaller group of guests, you may be interested in and open to adding a personal touch by tackling a “do it yourself” project that pops. Maybe you do the calligraphy on your invitations or repurpose items you already have for decor.
- “Zoom” in: Though you’ve decided to go a more intimate route, this doesn’t mean there weren’t people you wish you could’ve invited. But, thankfully, we have advanced significantly in technology, and you’re able to livestream your wedding, so no one really has to miss out on the big day. (FYI: I’m not sure that you’d use Zoom – there might be something a bit more official and elegant).
- Up the ante: If budget constraints weren’t a reason for wanting to have a micro wedding, consider placing a great emphasis on quality when it comes to food, bar, flowers, and even your photographer.
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Is It Ever Okay To Share Your Friends' Business With Your Partner? Maybe.
The older we get, the more we communicate our boundaries. With age, we also more clearly understand those boundaries and how to effectively, and immediately speak on them confidently. For many years, I remained connected with a friend whose boyfriend would always come to me and call me "lonely" or mention a discussion I had only had in private with her.
Back then, not only was it that anything I said to her in confidence was being reiterated without my permission. But there was also the sass of that man to repeat tidbits of our conversations back to me coupled with her audacity not to check him then and there whenever he did. But, as a much older adult, I realize people can’t do what they don’t know, and based on her choice of partner – it now seems to be a given that boundaries and respect weren’t two things that were high on her list of priorities…respectfully.
We stayed friends for many years, and honestly, I wouldn’t have had a problem with it had her man kept his mouth shut. I’m about to tell on myself when I say, “I thought we were all doing that? I thought we were all telling our man the tea at the end of our days?” I mean, I don’t have a man 90 percent of the time – so more often than not the secrets have been safe, but like?!
But, I’ve since seen several online posts in passing that suggest this is actually against the girl code – leaving me to feel validated but also guilty for my acts of treason. I thought it would be safe to get some more insight from an expert as listening to internet rhetoric can, at times, be overrated.
According to Dr. Ayanna Abrams, a licensed clinical psychologist, it depends. "It depends on four relationships – not just the one with your friend. This answer depends on your friendship, your partnership, your friend's relationship with your partner, and your relationship to the shared information.”
Dr. Abrams went on to provide a list of questions that can help us better understand if what you want to share with your partner is information your man is even qualified to know. Here is the list of questions that Dr. Abrams suggests you use as a flowchart of sorts:
1. What is my relationship with this friend?
How close are we? What stage of friendship are we in? Is this vulnerable information that feels particularly intimate or difficult for them to share? Did my friend ask me not to share?
2. What's my relationship with my partner?
What do I know about them and how do they hold information about me or the people in my life? Have they shown respect for people's privacy or do I know that they sometimes have trouble with privacy/secrets?
3. How does the shared information affect me?
Does it overjoy me, upset me, might it impact me and I'm anxious about it? (This could help determine what information you're sharing–are you sharing context for how it impacts you or are you sharing it as gossip?)
4. Is this information something that I believe my friend wouldn't mind my partner knowing?
Do they have any connection to each other (or is it strained or fairly distant?)
5. What's motivating me to share?
Do I need support, am I trying to connect with my partner through sharing things that happen to me within other relationships? Do we have a practice of sharing what's going on with our friends? How do I feel about sharing this information with anyone?
What can seem harmless to us may be a cause for immediate termination for others. This is a great opportunity to point out the importance of communicating and setting boundaries in all relationships, early and often. This is often recommended in romantic relationships but it can solve a lot of the issues stemming from miscommunication in platonic relationships as well.
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Everything You Want In Life Is On The Other Side Of A Venusian Upgrade
If you're an Astro girly to even the slightest degree, you probably know that Venus is the planet of love. But that's not all it is! Venus is also the planet of beauty, pleasure, and harmony. Now, what if I told you there's a way to harness that energy to live your best life, level up, and then some? The process is referred to as a "Venusian upgrade," a term coined by celebrity Astrologer Jade last summer.
And, while it will lead to sugar, spice, and all things nice – the main ingredient in this "upgrade" cocktail is hurt, pain, and upset (whatever it is that you call it when you get burnt). It's the equivalent of when that old flame dogs you out, makes a fool out of you, and you turn your tears into a healthy gym habit to flex on them.
However, according to Jade, the difference lies in the motivation – though we all seek revenge, this outcome is not and won't be for the gaze of those who hurt you – instead of being motivated by revenge, you're essentially motivated by abundance.
What Is a Venusian Upgrade?
"When I created 'A Venusian Upgrade,' I had the intention that I would put all vengeful and negative feelings into a positive transformation for myself. I've seen so many people struggle with transmuting energy – people who don't know how precious their life force is. Giving negative energy to others is taking away potential positive energy from yourself, and nothing ever really comes from it," she explained.
And, when I think about my personal experience with getting a better body in the name of making an ex pay for hurting me, she's absolutely right in that nothing positive comes of it; the attention mostly always leads to a toxic reconnection, interactions that cheapen and devalue you and your time, such as ex-sex.
Alternatively, when you commit to upgrading your Venus, it can lead to upgrades regarding "all things Venus," including relationships (platonic and romantic), finances, and appearance. All things that notably shifted for Jade since beginning this journey.
"Whatever it is that's hurt you in the past, that's hurting you now, or may hurt you in the future — give it to Venus. Put all of your negative feelings into something positive for Venus. Let the ugliness of pain turn you into something even more beautiful. Venus is directly tied to the metamorphic process in Astrology. It is a very natural thing to upgrade via looks, money, and relationships after a Venusian Upgrade."
"Whatever it is that's hurt you in the past, that's hurting you now, or may hurt you in the future — give it to Venus."
Jade speaks about her personal experience with upgrading Venus. She speaks about not being stifled by fear, which is not the same as being unafraid. After all, fear and even doubt are healthy – indicators you have a little sense. But, that doesn't mean you bow out. Seeing it through despite the fear is the faith the universe is waiting to reward.
Since undergoing her Venusian upgrade, Jade says she's "seen 10 times a return on investment through the inspiration" she's gained and the people she's met – inspiration and connections that unlocked her new life.
Much like anything else, you will need to invest in yourself – and this doesn't always necessitate a financial investment so much as a time investment or knowledge (i.e., taking the time to read this article on upgrading your Venus). "The main thing is time. Nobody likes delayed gratification. But, according to Venus, this is the best form of [gratification]! Taurus, a Venus-ruled sign, is the sign of the slow and steady. It represents patience. The best parts of Venus come through a patient process."
Jade reminds us that in traditional Astrology, "Venus represents a woman and a wife. Your Venus is like that; she's like the wife who requires your dedication, and in return, she graces your life with ease and beauty."
In any case of the "happy wife, happy life" mantra, "the happy wife" requires consistency. When the husband or opposite partner throws money at them once every blue moon to compensate for their distance or lack of consistency, it rarely makes the wife happy. According to Jade, it's the same in this scenario.
"Venus is the planet of 1:1 commitments, including to one's self," she continues. "You have to commit to the upgrades you want your Venus to have. You want better romance and friendships? You have to commit to investing in and improving those things. You want your income to improve? You have to commit to a trial and error process that lets you find out what's gonna provide your Venus with the sweetest return. This process takes time and dedication."
According to Jade, upgrading your Venus can look like a combination of any of the following:
- Elevate your every day. Dress like you’ve got somewhere to be every day instead of saving clothes for “special.” occasions. Think, Carrie Bradshaw but less obnoxious. Or, any one of the ladies on Girlfriends. Ditch the sweatpants and athleisure wear.
- Stop spinning the block on your ex. Get comfortable with leaving stagnant energy behind. This is one form of clutter but Jade recommends removing all clutter.
- Figure out your aesthetic, and correct color palettes – invest in those things. Perfect them.
- Don’t skimp on your beauty investments!
Curiously, I wondered about the way our own Venus placement shows up when seeking out a Venusian upgrade. Because in the same way we have a sun sign and moon sign, we also have a sign that accounts for every other planet – including Venus. But, no need to worry or delay your work by getting bogged down. Ultimately, the process is the same as "Venus is naturally connected to the transformation process, so it will hold this ability to upgrade and transmute no matter what sign it's in."
However, I imagine that knowing what sign your Venus is in will tell you the way you enjoy Venusian qualities. For this knowledge, Jade recommends looking into Astrology further by "learning about the house, then the sign, and then Venus as a planet." She adds, "Once you're done, you put it all together and reflect on how these things have played out in [your] life."
lambada/Getty Images
Giving your life a Venusian upgrade is not a concept you hear of frequently; it's only been recently, through Jade's work, that I've heard of it. Since its inception, there have been a few people who have felt inspired to echo Jade's work. What's more, is that the timing of Jade's discovery seems to be perfectly aligned with the recent transit of Pluto moving into the sign of Aquarius – where it will stay for the next 20 years.
But, wait, what do Venus and Pluto have to do with one another? That's what I wondered, myself.
"In Astrology, we know that the 4th house is the anchor of the chart. It's the house (area of life) that holds everything together at the bottom. During Pluto in Aquarius, the sign of Taurus (ruled by Venus) will act as this anchor. We can see this through the lens of derivative Astrology, but that's a whole other convo. Taurus being the anchor means that all things related to Venus come into play."
In turn, the things that Venus stands for also become anchors – beauty, relationships, and harmony.
Etsy
"Money becomes an anchor more than ever. Beauty becomes a stronger anchor. One-on-one relationships, and how harmonious they are, become paramount. These are the things that will hold us down at the bottom of it all during Pluto in Aquarius."
She further explains that this transit will highlight the "haves and the have-nots" in ways that make upgrading our Venus essential to not only surviving but thriving through this transit. Holding no pouches, Jade points out that in the absence of an upgraded Venus during this time, "you'll experience the other side of what I mentioned. Broke, ugly, and lonely. We don't want that."
One thing I know is that being bombarded with this information can be a lot, but I implore everyone to take a deep dive into Jade's social handles. All of this information is readily available. By her own admission, she's provided a step-by-step guide on the Venusian upgrade process before you ever pay a penny for her e-course.
I don't know about you, but the concept of the Venusian upgrade really excites me because, unlike the broader approach of manifesting, this feels more familiar and attainable. From a young age, my mom always told me she was motivated by people telling her she wouldn't be successful, and I've always adopted that mindset. Thus, I've been motivated to create the life I want for myself by tapping into people's projections or fears.
I've always thought this way on some level. Breakup? Cool, watch me show you what you're missing. And I go hard until I forget the initial purpose and remember myself. So, when I say it feels more attainable, I'm aware that I haven't been doing it completely correctly. Still, it's rather simple to reframe the mindset from being motivated by vengeance to being motivated by self-actualization.
From where I’m sitting, the Venusian upgrade is the only love spell (not literally) you’ll ever need.
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Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that TikTok would become such a big part of my life. I mean, I talked big shit, real big shit when it initially blew up. But I've come to love it! It's like Pinterest but in video format and somehow way better than YouTube (if you're ADHD) – a one-stop shop for inspiring everything from home decor to dinner recipes. And that's exactly what Nara Smith is! Foodie inspiration at its finest. Yet, she's caught so much backlash, and I can't figure out why.
Let the trolls tell it, and it has everything to do with her being Mormon. There's so much concern about her being part of a religion that, allegedly, dislikes Black people. Newsflash! Nara is a big girl who can make her own decisions. So, I find it weird that the internet cares more about a harmful community (while also causing harm via trolling) that would most certainly be most harmful to 22-year-old Nara, who interacts with the religion regularly.
@naraazizasmith he asked for it the next day again so this might become a staple 🫶🏽 #easyrecipes #homemade #pizza #bbqchicken #fypシ #marriage #homecooking
Particularly because she's only guilty of posting cooking videos – she doesn't speak on her religion. So, if it is Mormon propaganda, it's very subtle because a million and one women are cooking for TikTok, myself included. If a woman cooking for TikTok is the problem, why have we never had an issue with cooking shows with female leads? I watched a woman double fry White Castle burgers for her husband on TikTok, and no one batted an eyelash! Not one of these other cooking women is being harassed in the manner that Nara is.
And, because I don't think you all harass actual Christian influencers in this manner, I simply cannot believe that is what all the beef is about.
Furthermore, and to my knowledge, she has a modeling career. She has our own money. And, part of that money is the check that TikTok cuts for engagement. With that information, at best, we can assume Nara is an aesthetic but that aesthetic is not aligned with #tradwife life. Forget the aforementioned points -- the pregnant belly alone hanging out of crop tops makes the #tradwife “point” moot. (A quarter of trad wife life is the visual aesthetic–it’s cosplaying a 1950s white wife through and through – so be fucking for real.) It seems that there's been this narrative created simply because people do not like her.
@naraazizasmith do we like the time stamps?🫶🏽 #easyrecipes #whatieatinaday #fulldayofeating #pregnant #pregnancycravings #fypシ #homecooking
Let's call a spade a spade. What we're witnessing is racism, colorism, envy – crabs in a barrel bullshit.
Nara smith wasn’t broke or jobless when she met him, she definitely still isn’t broke and jobless now. She’s literally a runway model that still has modeling gigs, a social media career and a rich father. They think she’s a stay at home mum because she’s making food videos😭 https://t.co/ePOvTWWrTQ
— Sunrise⁸ 🎀🏴☠️ (@__sunriseii) March 14, 2024
Nara is married to Lucky Blue Smith, a fashion model who gained a lot of popularity in the early 2010s due to a massive social media presence, especially on Tumblr. Many are threatened by the idea that this Black woman is leading a life of leisure in the company of a white man, especially with some level of fame. This goes for white and Black women who dislike her. In a 2021 interview, FKA Twigs highlighted a sentiment amid the backlash she received from her time dating Robert Pattinson, that I imagine to be similar – the fantasy his fans had of seeing him with "someone white and blonde."
As for the hate from other Black women, there appears to be some cognitive dissonance. Black women who claim to want a soft life but have not achieved it for one reason or another. Because if you've tried to prepare anything that Nara cooks, it's not much more time-consuming than any other type of weekly meal prep.
"Why is this woman cooking in a gown? Why is she being extra making the bread from scratch?"
It's simply because she can. Because isn't that what feminism is about? The right to fucking choose!
@naraazizasmith drooling watching this😮💨 #baking #husbandwife #pregnancycravings #easyrecipes #coupletok #fypシ #homecooking #cookies
But, at the end of the day, there's a lot of groupthink around Nara. I think it's all misplaced, and ironically, I think it further proves how easily the general public can be converted into cult members. Perhaps, that explains their concerns with Mormon propoganda – understanding how vulnerable they view themselves (this is sarcasm).
Not once have I watched Nara's content and had a strong urge to convert to Mormonism. But, instead, I watch and feel inspired to make as much at home as possible based on my bandwidth. She makes it look easy, and as someone who has spent the past month indulging myself and my baby in fresh bread and cinnamon rolls, inspired by her content – it's satisfying to know I'm able to subsidize the preservative and cost of certain treats.
While making bread in beautiful gowns is not realistic, I do think if you let her inspire you, you can find that some of the other aspects of her lifestyle are within reach.
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Featured image via Nara Smith/ Instagram