“Let's start with the fact that it isn't a sex scandal. It isn't a Hollywood scandal. It isn't even a scandal. It is a systemic problem about the abuse of power that takes place across all industries."
Tracee Ellis Ross has a word for men who don't know how to act. The Black-ish star graced The Jimmy Kimmel Show last night and addressed the influx of sexual harassment cases that have been circulating in the news whilst simultaneously giving men the scoop on what not to do with their hands. (Or their junk.)
“Treating another human being with respect isn't complicated but it seems confusing for a lot of men out there," Tracee said as she introduced her "children's book for men" titled, The Handsy Man.
Passages from the book, read like something between Langston Hughes and Dr. Seuss, and included instructions for men who seem a bit confused about the concept of consent these days:
You may not compliment my butt
You may not call me "ho" or "slut"
And even if you're stoned or drunk
Do not expose me to your junk
And if I am your employee
don't rest your hand upon my knee
No, I won't sit on your lap
I shouldn't have to say this crap
It seems as if there's a lot of confused, Handsy Men out there not understanding the concept of what constitutes appropriate behavior. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to understand that it is okay for me to deny a man's creepy tendencies. As a young woman in the workforce, there is so much male authority surrounding us that we are manipulated to believe there is no such thing as saying “no," or even kindly denying platonic affection in the workplace.
Tracee's book is a reminder to men of what is appropriate and what is not, and an affirmation for women to stand in your power and be validated in your reasons for saying "no." If you aren't comfortable, that is more than enough reason for them to discontinue their behavior.
So Handsy Man, if you're still confused
whether your behavior will be excused
I'll say it clearly, nice and slow
If she doesn't consent - the answer is NO.
I hope that the not-so-subtle subtleties of Tracee's book shed some light on the climate of sexual assault that is happening across all industries.
Pour me up a glass of male tears to drinketh, and make your hands useful, Handsy Man.
Watch Tracee read from passages of the book below:
RELATED
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Skincare is a daily ritual to some, but to Omofonmwan, skincare has always been a family affair. “I like to joke that I’m a shea butter baby because my earliest memories were my mom giving me oat baths and making sure I was moisturized,” says Omofonmwan. Her mother’s passion for healthy skincare naturally weaved into her daughter. Omofonmwan began experimenting with different skincare products as she grew into her youth and was heavily guided by other beauty gurus telling her the latest skincare trends.
With enthusiasm, Omofonmwan went to her local drugstore with the goal of obtaining the skin of her idols, Angela Bassett and Halle Berry. However, Omofonmwan quickly learned the adverse side effects of trying too many skincare products. Omofonmwan tells us, “I have damaged my skin barrier. Then, I’d have to figure out how to fix that problem. It slowly became a rabbit hole of fixing different issues with my skin when I barely had anything to begin with.”
Omofonmwan experience is radically relatable to most young girls and women today. Constantly being influenced to fix non-existent issues. Still, we run to our local beauty stores, hoping to achieve skin on par with societal standards. Moisturizers, serums, and beauty tools occupy our self-appreciation for our skin's essence. We become trapped within the rat race of beauty trends, and the moment we complete the marathon, another beauty product hits the market for us to chase after.
There comes a point when we must ask ourselves if we are running towards “skin goals” or further away from who we are.
Courtesy
“I’ve learned not to fixate on things anymore. I’m not trying to fix everything that’s ‘wrong with me’ because nothing is. I was just influenced to think that it was,” says Omofonmwan. Knowing the influence of social media and being on the content creator side has allowed Omofonmwan to be aware of her influence. Along with skincare videos, she frequently shares trending sounds making fun of daily life. Her sense of humor is a nod to remind us all not to take life or beauty trends too seriously.
Still, Omofonmwan radiates as she discusses the views on the world of beauty. I couldn’t help but ask about her skincare routine. Read below to learn more about what she shared.
Courtesy
Keep scrolling for more insight into Temela Omofonmwan’s morning and night skincare routines.
Temela's Morning Skincare Routine:
Step One: Gua Sha
Pink Moon
“I need this to depuff my eyes in the morning. I either use this or cold spoons to bring down my puffiness.”
Step Two: Hero Cosmetics Cleanser
Amazon
“I have sensitive skin, so I like to keep my cleanser as basic as possible. It’s also affordable, and I love that so much.”
Step Three: La Roche-Posay Moisturizer
Amazon
“I love it because it’s not too heavy. I can also wear them in the winter and summer, which is great because I don’t have to change them! It’s also an affordable product people can use.”
Step Five: Summer Fridays Facial Oil
Amazon
“I use this to lock everything in for the day. My skin needs to stay moisturized, and this helps.”
Temela's Nighttime Skincare Routine:
Step One: Hero Cosmetics Cream Cleanser
Amazon
“This is the same cleanser I use in the morning, and it works just as well at night.”
Step Two: La Roche-Posay Night Moisturizer
Amazon
“This is similar to the morning moisturizer, but it’s just the nighttime version. I loved their daytime moisturizer, and once I like something, I need it in all variations.”
Step Three: Medik8 Retinal 6
Medik8
“If you have super sensitive skin, this is a good one. It is expensive, but for me, it’s worth it.”
Step Four: Summer Fridays Facial Oil
Amazon
“Again, I love to lock in my moisture so it can last. I use this product day and night to ensure I’m as moisturized as possible.”
Extra Skin Treatment(s):
I’m From Honey Mask
I'm From
“Every once in a while, I like to include a honey mask in my routine. I gravitate to this on days when my skin feels dry. Honey masks are naturally healing and hydrating.”
Laser Facial By Dr. Michelle Henry
“I’ve been adding lasers for the past two years, and I’ve been loving them. They’ve made such a huge difference in my skin by not making me break out as much. I currently see Dr. Michelle Henry in New York City, and she is absolutely amazing!”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image courtesy
