These 3 Women Boldly Quit Their Jobs & Changed Careers
Passion.
Purpose.
Do you feel it when you clock into work everyday? When those two things can't be found in the work we do, we reevaluate whether we have chosen the right career paths for ourselves. Some of us get to the point where we fall out of love with our careers or we discover that want we wanted to do for the rest of our lives isn't the right fit for us. We start to panic wondering if it's too late to start all over again or if it is even worth it?
It's never too late to switch careers. Many women are switching careers and embarking on new paths to fulfill their passions, accommodate their lifestyle and to live in their own truths. Discover how three women were able to make drastic changes to their career and lifestyle in order to align their career goals with their purpose.
Despite the skepticism their family and friends may have, these women are betting on themselves.
"My Passion Made Me Leave Corporate America."
Wanting to impact change in the world and equip children with STEM skills and opportunity enticed Kelley O. Williams to switch careers. Kelley, her sister Jessica and her mother Rachel joined forces to create their family business, Paige & Paxton, which offers children's books, elementary curriculum and professional development focused around STEM. Before becoming an entrepreneur, Kelley was the Assistant Vice President of Social Media at J.P. Morgan Chase and oversaw the social content strategy Chase Community Giving, the largest social property at the firm with 3.7 million followers across all platforms. She decided to switch her career as she saw the Paige & Paxton brand grow including the recent contract to work with the Chicago School System.
“I did not take the same precautions I would advise people who are preparing to make the switch from a full time gig to entrepreneurship. I had a significant amount of money saved, good credit, and the ability to live rent-free while I transitioned over to full time entrepreneurship. I actually did not prep and plan to change careers. It felt like the right moment to act, and I was emotionally and mentally prepared, so I did it," Kelley shares.
She let the negativity roll off her back when some of the people close to her did not agree with her decision. “I never took it too personally, because I know that my family and friends mean well, and the nervous and negative reactions just served as a source of motivation for me," Kelley shared.
What helps her shake the negativity away is knowing and understanding her purpose. “A child interested in baseball will make their parents send him to baseball camp. A child who wants to be a ballerina will finagle dance lessons. I know that parents and educators will be more open to committing the resources to children who demonstrate an interest in learning STEM concepts. Whether your parent is an engineer in Silicon Valley or not, I want to ensure that all children understand the breadth of opportunities available to them when someone asks the question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'" Kelley shared.
Since leaving J.P. Morgan Chase, Kelley had to figure out how to gain credibility for her expertise without having a big name to back her. “When you have a corporate title and brand behind your name, it's really easy for people to gauge who you are. You don't need to prove your credibility as much. I had to rework my identity for the first time in a long time, but now I love what I do and what I stand for so much more," she says.
"I had to rework my identity for the first time in a long time."
In addition to building the brand she experience typically start-up woes. “Like most startups, the biggest challenge has been timely access to capital. It's something that we have to manage constantly so that we can continue to grow the business. Another challenge is balancing marketing and sales with product, content development and production," Kelley adds. Her advice for making that switch to becoming an entrepreneur is to seek advice, but stays true to your purpose. “Always seek the advice of good counsel, because every time you open the door to what you are going through you will find better solutions and feel less alone in the entrepreneurial journey. However, you should also trust your instinct. You know your business and customer better than anyone else," Kelley says.
"My Circumstances Changed My Career Path."
That moment when you make the decision to switch careers can be affected by circumstances, like it did with Ka'Lyn Banks. The 25-year-old thought that her passion was in education. After graduation, she became a preschool teacher at charter school in Washington, D.C. "I was let go from the school for being too vocal about the lack of education and diversity amongst other things and that is when I realized I don't belong in a classroom with small children. I still love to teach, but I know that I need to work with adults," Ka'Lyn said.
Discovering that she desired a platform where she could discuss and advocate on issues of her choice, she decided to pursue a career in digital media as a consultant. After becoming unemployed, Ka'Lyn struggled with the decision to switch careers. “I had been dealing with depression and had to start therapy. Unemployment amongst other things can take a toll on the mind. I found myself often times blaming myself for losing my job and being forced [somewhat] to switch careers," Ka'Lyn said.
Not everyone will be in support of your desire to switch careers. Sometimes people won't understand your desire to make a change. Switching careers can be a difficult decision, especially when it affects your income and changes your lifestyle.
"Not everyone is going to understand your decision to change careers"
Ka'Lyn fiancé's support and assistance with bills as well as the encouragement from friends, kept her from falling apart. Not everyone is going to understand your decision to change careers. Especially, when you set off to become an entrepreneur. “[My parents] are still not 100% sure if they understand why I am not working a traditional 9-5 job with health benefits and a corner office," Ka'Lyn said.
Although her switch was difficult Ka'Lyn learned some valuable lessons. “My advice is to protect your energy because people will drain you dry with their comments, opinions, unsolicited advice and negativity. Also, save money before you make the switch. I don't have a special dollar amount but even having an extra $20 dollars will help on the day you need something," Ka'Lyn shared.
"I Wanted To Walk My Own Path & Not My Parents'."
Some of us have family members who create our career paths from birth. They've prepped and molded us to become one thing, but your heart wants to do another. That's what happened to Bianca Jeanty when she switched her career course from pre-med to advertising. “In school I was studying behavioral sciences and I thought I would move forward by going into medical school or something in the health field. My family is from the Caribbean. They are Haitian and they were like are you going to be a doctor, lawyer or engineer? What are you going to be?" Bianca said.
She returned to college after a sabbatical from school to finish up her senior year, Bianca knew she did not want to pursue a career in the health industry. Per the advice from her mentors and peers, she completed her behavioral science degree, but she knew she had a long road ahead to break into the media world. “I made it my business to find the resources that I needed to get where I am today. I talked to the right people so that I could understand the industry and be able to use the language to talk up what I want to do," Bianca says. After taking on a variety of paid and volunteer opportunities to gain the experience and skills that she would need to break into the media world, she finally was offered a job in advertising. Now Bianca is working in the field that she tenaciously pursued and paying it forward as the Co-Founder of Minorities in Media digital hub.
“Bet on yourself! That's my advice. I loved the jobs that I had prior to this one, but no one was going to get me the advertising role that I wanted except for me. You can do so much more than you think you can," Bianca says.
"You can do so much more than you think you can."
No matter the circumstances that may lead you to consider switching careers, the decision is only yours to choose.
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Brittney Oliver is a marketing communications professional from Greater Nashville. Over the past three years, Brittney has built her platform Lemons 2 Lemonade to help Millennials turn life's obstacles around. Her platform is known for its networking mixers, which has brought over 300 NYC young professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives together to turn life's lemons into lemonade. Brittney is a contributing writer for Fast Company and ESSENCE, among other media outlets.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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