The Marathon Continues: Everything You Missed At Nipsey Hussle's Celebration Of Life
Almost two weeks ago on March 31, 2019, at 3:55 p.m., Nipsey Hussle was pronounced dead. That day, the city of Los Angeles lost a leader, three children lost a father, a mother lost her son, and Lauren London was forced to say goodbye to the love of her life. Senseless violence has been a problem in communities of color for decades, and the death of Nipsey Hussle is proof that we can no longer procrastinate when it comes to change.
In a true act of unity, thousands of people gathered at the Staples Center in Los Angeles to celebrate the life of the gone-too-soon rapper. The last time that the 21,000-seat arena hosted a funeral was 10 years ago for Micheal Jackson's homegoing, and tickets to Nipsey's free-for-all memorial service sold out in 20 minutes. Thursday, friends, family, and fans alike packed out the venue and showed the world that thanks to Nipsey, the Marathon will continue.
If you weren't able to make it to Nipsey's Crenshaw-style celebration of life, here's everything you missed:
It Was A Family Affair
Along with words from Nipsey's children and brother, Mama and Daddy Hussle also had a few words to say on behalf of the man who they raised to later be a legend in the Crenshaw community. Mama Hussle, or Angelique Smith, revealed that she hadn't slept well for weeks leading up to Nipsey's death, and when she got that fateful phone call from the Los Angeles police department that Sunday, she knew why. Although she will never be the same after the loss of her son, she can't be more proud of the legacy he left. She told he told the audience:
"We have to be the light of change that we want in the world. I'm very proud of my son. My son, Ermias Joseph Asghedom, was a great man."
Lauren's son, Cameron, brought the crowd to tears when he shared a dream that he had only days after his death. He explained:
"I was in paradise and I was playing in the ocean water when Ermias popped up right behind me. He said, 'What's up, kiddo?' because that's my nickname to him. I told my mom about the dream and … I realized that Ermias told me what heaven was like. He told me it was paradise."
He continued:
"In the morning Ermias would say 'respect' at my window – so on the count of three I want everyone to yell 'RESPECT!'"
Real tears y'all. Real. Tears.
Stevie Wonder's Performance Was Destiny
"My procedure, stay crackin till my life's low / Then when I die, blue rag around my rifle / Hundred-thousand in my coffin, that's just life though / Play a Stevie Wonder song, smoke some flight, bro / Crack a pint of Actavis then pour in some Sprite, bro / Until that day I'm walking toward what's in my sights, though."
Nipsey Hussle rapped these lyrics in a song on his 2016 mixtape "Slauson Boy 2", and in a very eerie way, was foreshadowing his own death. In an effort to pay tribute to the Crenshaw native, Stevie Wonder was there to play a song and bring this Slauson Boy's story full circle. Before performing a 2-song medley of "Rocket Love" and Eric Clapton's "Tears of Love", Stevie had an important message for the audience in reference to senseless gun violence:
"We, to be a civilized nation, civilized world, we still are living in a time where ego, anger, jealousy is controlling our lives. It is so painful to know that we don't have enough people taking a position that says: 'Listen, we must have stronger gun laws. It's unacceptable. It's almost like the world is becoming blind. I pray that we grow; I pray that the leaders who have a responsibility to perpetuate life will do it by making sure that the laws will make it so very hard for people to have guns and to take their frustrations out."
Star-Studded Tribute
Along with Stevie Wonder, a number of other stars showed major love at the Crenshaw rapper's memorial service. Along with Jay-Z, Beyonce, Teyana Taylor, and Snoop Dogg, Barack Obama himself even wrote a letter sending his condolences to the late entrepreneur's family. In an emotional message read by Karen Civil during the service, President Obama wrote:
"While most folks look at the Crenshaw neighborhood where he grew up and see only gangs, bullets, and despair, Nipsey saw potential. He saw hope. He saw a community that, even through its flaws, taught him to always keep going."
"His choice to invest in that community rather than ignore it -- to build a skills training center and a coworking space in Crenshaw; to lift up the Eritrean-American community; to set an example for young people to follow -- is a legacy worth of celebration. I hope his memory inspires more good work in Crenshaw and communities like it."
Lauren's Tribute Was The Epitome Of Strength
Our heart truly goes out to Lauren London, who has handled this horrible tragedy with so much grace and resilience. I could only imagine losing the love of my life so suddenly and unexpectedly, and that's a loss that no amount of condolences can make better. She told the audience:
"I had to write something because I've never felt this type of pain before. His soul was majestic. He was the strongest man that I ever knew. He was brilliant. He researched everything; completely self-taught and always seeking knowledge."
"My pain is for my 2-year-old, who probably won't remember how much his dad loved him. I'm so honored and blessed that I got to experience such a man."
At the funeral, Lauren also read an emotional text that she sent Nipsey before his passing in a tribute that will give you all the feels. The text read:
"I've learned so much about myself with you. You've been my turn-up and my church. I wouldn't want to go through this journey with anyone but you. I look up to you in a lot of ways, and I strive to educate myself like you have. When we are at odds, I feel defeated and sad, knowing that we are so much better than that. I just want you know that you've been the greatest boyfriend to me. You aren't perfect, but I would never ask you to be. You and I work. We fit. And you're the coolest guy in the world to me. Still. I love you so much, unconditionally. I'm never gonna give up on you. My love and my devotion is to you."
In honor of Nipsey, Lauren also got a tattoo on her forearm to ensure that he's with her wherever she goes, forever. She wrote on Instagram:
"Real Love Never Dies. When you see me, you will always see him #LoveYouHussle #TMC"
The City Of LA Showed Up In Style
In honor of Nipsey's death, for the first time in 27 years, the Los Angeles Bloods and Crips made a truce. This truce marks the first ceasefire since the Rodney King riots and was organized as a tribute to the love that the late rapper brought to the city. Gang leader Big U told Instagram:
"We're having a gang truce and a gang rally so all the different gangs from LA can get together and celebrate the life and the gift of Nipsey. There's a lot of people who said they wanted to get together and come to a vigil and pay respect because Nipsey was the first real LA artist that was from LA."
Rest in Heaven, Nipsey. Thank you for your service to our community and for being a true role model. Nipsey was so much more than a hometown hero, he was a nationwide icon and he won't be forgetten.
Featured image by Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise y’all or not to know that a few years back, Vice published an article entitled, “Women Get Bored in Bed Faster Than Men.” When it comes to the clients I work with, what I will say is men tend to underestimate how creative women can be while women seem to overlook that men fake orgasms just about as much as they do. My grand takeaway from all of this? Folks need to be intentional when it comes to keeping the spice alive in their sex life; especially if they’re in a long-term relationship.
That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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Featured image by arsenisspyros/Getty Images