Smart Women Finish Rich: Here's How To Break The Generational Curse Of Being Bad With Finances
I think we can all agree that your 20's are a pretty weird time in life.
Sure, your 20's can be described as beautiful, exhilarating, eye-opening time, but another adjective you could add to the equation would still be, “weird". To make things even more complicated, we're asked to take adulting to the next level by having to actually manage our money. For the majority of our lives, all money matters were handled for us and sometimes that's not a good thing.
Believe it or not, generational curses can be passed down through many different avenues, one of them being our finances. As a child, your first role models are your parents. Their ways are your ways and their thoughts are your thoughts. Parents and legal guardians have a responsibility of teaching us how to do many things…how to properly manage finances doesn't always make the cut, though.
I can't recall a time where saving, budgeting, investing, or the importance of great credit was ever talked about in my household. Not because my parents didn't want to talk about it…but because they simply did not know.
According to a 2014 Wells Fargo study, only 50% of millennial women have started saving for retirement versus 61% of millennial men.
Also, only 18% of millennial women feel satisfied with their savings level, compared with 58% of millennial men. We can do better, ladies! You see, it's pretty hard to teach what you don't know. So, I made it my mission to teach other #GIRLBOSSES how to live the financial life of their dreams. Thus, the Smart Women Finish Rich Seminar was born.
If simple conversations about saving and budgeting were never talked about in my household, I could only imagine that other women my age were never taught these basic fundamentals as well. In collaboration with my financial advisor and my credit repair specialist, we teamed up to help break the generational curse of finances within the millennial community.
On September 17th, I made it my mission to enlighten and empower a few women on what it takes to be a #GIRLBOSS living the financial life of her dreams. Mary Hayes (Investment Specialist and my Financial Advisor) kicked off the seminar by outlining the seven steps to living and (most importantly) finishing rich.
Here are four of the seven #MAJORKEYS that smart women who want to finish rich can take away from this seminar:
Learn To EARN
When is the last time you took a class, attended a seminar, or just read a new book on something that you were totally clueless about? According to Forbes, those who invest in their personal development are much more successful than those who don't. It's as simple as attending a webinar or even teaching a class. In addition to that, you must make sure that you're investing in you physical and mental health as well. Self-care is SO important and vital to your success. Take that class you've been procrastinating about or go on that retreat. Learn more to earn more!
Put Your Money Where Your Values Are
What are the intangibles in your life that don't carry a price tag? Is that making a difference in your community? Financial freedom and security? If you don't know what those values are just yet, make a list of what is important to you and why it's important! While you're at it, jot down those goals that you've wanted to accomplish for years (I enjoy vision boards) and make sure that they're ACHIEVABLE. How does one do that? Take action on your goals within 48 hours and be realistic with yourself about what challenges you'll face in pursuit of achieving those goals and how you'll overcome any challenges. Next, share these goals with someone you trust that can help keep you focused! #accountabilityonfleek
Build Your Retirement Basket
I'm declaring that I'll be retired by the time I'm 40. Yep, you read that right, 40! Through saving and investing, I'm determined to meet that goal and work only if I choose too. Now, let's talk about saving, any amount of money saved a month is awesome, but you should be saving at least 15% of your income every month! While we're on the subject, if you begin saving at least $4 a day at the age of 20, by the time you're 65, you would have saved one million dollars! (Just put your Starbucks money aside for a couple of days and watch how it piles up).
If you haven't started saving for that million-dollar nest egg yet, it's never too late to begin. Even if you begin by putting away $10 a day into an investment account at age 50, that will give you a hypothetical growth rate of 10% and you'll have more than $700,000 saved in 25 years. If you don't have the option of investment account (like a 401k) through your employer, you have an option of investing in a SEP IRA (for all of my entrepreneurs out there) or a tax deductible IRA or Roth IRA.
Always, always, ALWAYS make sure that you keep a “Money Airbag" that means at least 3-24 months worth of income for emergencies. Studies show that the average person is only four paychecks away from losing their home. Don't be that person!
Credit, Credit And More Credit
If you're not familiar with your credit score, you should be! Credit is borrowed money that allows you to purchase things and the likelihood that you will pay back those loans to purchase more things. In other words, your credit score is your adult report card. Credit scores range from 300-850. Four different factors make up you credit score: payment history, length of credit history, debt-to-credit ratio, new credit inquiries and diversity of credit. If you do not know your credit score, you can pull your FREE (yes, free!) credit report from mycreditreport.com. Some free credit check sites that I frequent are Credit Karma, Credit.com, and my personal favorite: creditscorecard.com.
Whether you're a pro with your finances or in the beginning stages, it's never too late to educate yourself on the importance of having your financial house in order to break the generational curse of bad finances and create a legacy through building wealth. With all of the resources out here, there's no excuse for repeating past mistakes.
Now, let's get this money #GIRLBOSS!
Danielle D. Hughes is a social entrepreneur, journalist and youth advocate. When she's not writing or covering news, you'll find her at church, spending time with loved ones, or enjoying a great read! Keep up with her: @danielledhughes or hughesdanielled@gmail.com.
Originally published October 20, 2016
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images