This Former Teen Mom Created A Nonprofit To Empower Homeless Mothers
The words "don't forget me" can be summarized as an emotional plea for anyone who wants to always be remembered in the minds of those they may have shared a connection with. That's the very reason that those hope-filled words became the very name for Simone Goss's foundation.
Don't 4Get Me: The Frances Canty Foundation is a nonprofit that provides aid to teen moms who are homeless or in foster care. It's a befitting name for an organization that seeks to aggressively help young mothers who are often pushed aside and forgotten about in our society. The founder Simone knows from firsthand experience how imperative it is to have an organization targeted to this specific group of girls, as she was once in their shoes.
When she was 15 years old, she and her siblings were removed from their father's home and placed in the foster care system. At the time, she was also pregnant. "It was the most traumatic and scariest point in my life because here I am, I'm 15 and I'm pregnant and I'm separated from my family. I'm worried to death about my siblings and I didn't know where they were and I couldn't get in touch with them. You hear so many horror stories about the foster care system and things that can happen. I couldn't even think straight and I still had to go to school," she recalled.
Simone Goss
However, shortly after giving birth to her son, Simone was placed in a home and things began to turn around. The home was Frances Canty's and she quickly became the positive influence that Simone needed in her life. Frances not only took in Simone and her newborn baby, but she also welcomed her siblings in the home as well and they were back together living under one roof. Her selflessness and affection toward Simone and her family is one of the good, but rare stories you hear about with foster homes and it left a long-lasting impact on Simone's life.
"She just wanted me to be the best that I could be and she pushed me to do that so it was only right that I named my organization after her. She herself was [also] a teen mom so I found out it was a cycle repeating itself. She helped myself and quite a few other teen moms, and now I'm doing the same thing," she shared.
Simone Goss
Today, Simone is 37 years old, and shares three kids and a stepdaughter with her loving and supportive husband who gave her that extra push to start her nonprofit. Because of Frances and her profound influence that ultimately gave her a better life, Simone wanted to do the same for other girls who don't have access to people and resources that can guide them in the right direction. Created in June 2016, Don't 4Get Me: The Frances Canty Foundation gives back to pregnant teens who are homeless or in foster care with programs and events that are designed to help them professionally and emotionally.
These programs include Dress for Success Workshops, GED prep, parenting classes, clothing drives, and this past June they hosted a community baby shower where 12 lucky girls walked away with quality strollers, car seats, and invaluable knowledge from an OB-GYN and a Lactation Specialist. "Being a teen mom and going to the doctor, you face judgment. Sometimes from the doctor themselves, sometimes from the nurses, and sometimes from the other patients. So you're a little funny about asking questions because you're already feeling a little insecure with people looking at you like you don't know what you're doing, so we had an OB-GYN speak to the girls and answer questions that they may not be able to ask their regular OB-GYN," she explained.
As much as she enjoys assisting teen moms, her favorite part of running Don't 4Get Me is the moment when she breaks down the wall that many girls put up when they first walk into the room. She remembered being that girl once and having that same attitude whenever someone would try to talk to her. For her, when the wall finally comes down, she knows that she is that much closer to helping these girls change their lives.
One of Simone's newer projects is working to open up transitional homes for teen moms in all of NYC's boroughs and even out of state so they can have a place to get much needed resources as well as emergency items for themselves and their babies. "There are 750,000 teen pregnancies a year, which is huge and people just kinda write teen moms off. It's kinda like help the baby, but they don't realize that the teen moms are the ones that need help the most because they are the ones raising the future. I want to bring a huge awareness to help prevent it and to help the girls that's in it just so they know that their life isn't over. To say, 'Ok, this happened but we're gonna get through it and you can still do and be who you want to be,'" she stated firmly.
Dont4getMe.org
Check out Simone Goss and her foundation at dont4getme.org and follow them on Twitter and Instagram @dont4getmefcf.
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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