6 Side Hustles You Can Employ While You're Unemployed
As I sat on the floor staring at my depleted bank account on my phone, I felt a swell of emotions creep up my throat like a bubbling volcano. This unemployment season sucked.
I tried to keep the faith and hold things together for as long as I could but the bills were piling and the stress of it all was killing my pride and definitely my edges. I never planned to go through this. I thought I had life planned out with a job before my college graduation, but little did I know that they would fire me a week before I walked the stage.
Talk about a Britney 2007 breakdown. As I sat deep in this reality check, this moment brought me face to face with my reality.
I was broke.
Broker than broke. And it frustrated me because this wasn't where I was supposed to be. I saw everyone thriving around me. I even praised their accomplishments but deep down I felt shame that I was struggling through a season I never planned for.
This is the story of many of us. Stats show that millennials have the highest unemployment rate out of all age groups. But I realized that this season did NOT define me. I was determined to stay faithful to the process and do what I needed in the meantime.
A lot of times unemployment is a humbling season.
For me, it revealed that I was wrapped in validation and status. How "embarrassing" to tell people that I didn't have a plan with my career moves. And because I couldn't feel valued by others, I didn't feel like a value at all. But it's not true. Through the up and down seasons of unemployment, I've learned that there are some super simple ways to bring in a little cash while you're in the place of uncertainty:
1. Ebay
Calling all thrifters! Selling your things online has got to be one of the simplest ways to make some quick money. When I started on Ebay, I first sold things I had around the house like nice clothes (homecoming dresses are really popular), purses, and even an old camera. After I got the hang of how Ebay works, I started going to local garage sales and thrift stores to flip items.
The keys to Ebay are simple but require some consistency. Always have clear pictures taken in good lighting. Ask for a reasonable price, go for popular items (this takes a little research), and always use honest and detailed descriptions. When trying to decide if an item is worth selling, I usually type it in the search bar and scroll down to the sold items. This will show you how much people usually paid for the item and what you should list it as.
Other seller sites you can try include letgo, Poshmark, and even Facebook Marketplace.
2. Temporary Agencies
When I had no clue where to look during my unemployment season, temp agencies came through with great job opportunities. I first looked on Indeed.com for temporary jobs but you can also research temp agencies in your city and request an appointment to meet with them.
The meeting usually consists of going over your resume and areas of expertise. From that information, they will search for job openings that match your qualifications. During my unemployment, I got a great job at a health company that paid way more than I predicted. They are great resources, even for just a short period of time!
3. Babysitting
Babysitting can be a great way to earn decent cash during your extra time. It was a very humbling experience because I did NOT want to do this at first. But try going through sites like care.com or sittercity.com to find work.
What's great about this gig is that it still offers time to work on a skill or apply for job opportunities online. The summer is the perfect season because many kids will be home from school.
4. Photography
Photography is great because there will always be a need for dope pictures. For my website, I bought my first DSLR camera from Craigslist (which is GREAT for items like that). A friend knew that I had a nicer camera and asked if I could take pictures for her sister's college graduation.
That ended up being my first "client." Her sister referred me to another friend and it just grew from there. If you have a nicer camera, I recommend offering to take photos for people for a fee. This may require some Facebook recruiting but people are always looking for pictures around their birthday, pregnancies, graduations, and even headshots.
In my down time, I heavily watched YouTube photography tutorials to help me learn my camera and get better at angles and ideas. When you feel confident, you can even reach out to local organizations like churches or schools to offer your services.
5. Airbnb
Do you have an extra room or guest house in your backyard? Airbnb can make you some serious cash without much work. If you live in a frequently visited city, try renting the extra space, especially during big weekends that host festivals, conferences, concerts, and even sports events. Most Airbnb renters are able to upcharge their guests because of such high demand during these times.
Some of my best Airbnb experiences have included a flexible renter and also a well-stocked room. Make sure to provide helpful things like toiletries and suggestions of places to visit in the city. This always leaves a great impression and a higher chance for positive feedback.
6. Freelance Writing
If you love to write or have ideas for a topic you are passionate, try freelance writing. There are so many publications that are constantly looking for new content, especially from writers of color. So many times, I see media websites try to connect with diverse audiences but fail because of a lack of insight or knowledge.
Look for trending topics and pitch your point of view by emailing an editor. Other ways of finding jobs are checking Craiglist, Indeed.com, or following certain accounts on Twitter like @writersofcolor that frequently post jobs. And even if you don't see a current opportunity available, create one by sending a draft of a post to outlets that you love.
Some of these ideas may not totally replace an income, but they can help bring in financial help and also confidence that this situation will be temporary. So hustle, stack the dollars, and stay focused your goals. Your time is coming.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Alaina is a Las Vegas freelance writer and founder of the website GlowSZN, a post-grad survival blog for the lit and educated. Embracing the raggedy moments of adulthood, she is always looking to push the narrative of growth in God, becoming financially free and owning your truth in your 20's. You can follow her on Instagram or Twitter at @hotlaina_.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Not too long ago, while in an interview, someone asked me for a top complaint that I hear husbands say (first) and then wives state (second) as it relates to what goes down (or doesn’t go down) in the bedroom.
Ladies first: when it comes to women, I think what comes up more than anything might surprise some: it’s boredom. A lot of wives want there to be more spontaneity instead of taking the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach from their partner. As for men? I mean, would anyone be shocked to hear that they wished their wife would initiate sex more often?
I’m telling you, over frequency, technique, and even dressing up more for bed (and yes, those things also come up quite a bit), hands down, what I hear that more men want is for their partner to show them that they are desired by taking the initial steps to make copulation happen…more often.
And so, since I’m all about doing whatever I can to reduce dissatisfaction and frustration in the bedroom department, let’s explore this very topic today — from a few angles. For starters, what it truly means to be a sexual initiator; two, why it’s so vitally important to be a sexual initiator, and three, why it could literally change the entire tone, energy, and outcome of your sex life with your partner — if you’d simply be open to initiating sex more often than you (probably already) do.
What It Means to Initiate Something. LITERALLY.
Giphy
I’m word-literal — there’s no secret about that. So, when it comes to the topic of initiating sex, let’s start with what the word means. To initiate is “to begin, set going, or originate” and “to introduce into the knowledge of some art or subject.” Some synonyms for initiate include begin, open, set up, trigger, admit, introduce, and invest. And when it comes to all of the meanings of these words, between men and women, when it comes to sex specifically, guess who does it more? Men. BY A LONG SHOT TOO: a whopping 60 percent.
When it comes to why a lot of women are so comfortable with men initiating intimacy, many think that, just like men should pursue them for a relationship, it is also “the man’s role” to pursue sex in the bedroom; they literally think that it makes them look desperate or needy for them to be the initiator — yes, even as a wife. What in the world?
Listen, when two people sign up to be each other’s exclusive sex partner until death parts them, it means they are both saying that they desire each other so much that they are willing to make that kind of commitment — and so, there should be no “I don’t want to appear this way or that” when it comes to sexual activity.
So, with all of that ridiculous overthinking out of the way, that should make you want to “set up” some sex plans, “admit” to some sexual fantasies that you may have, and “introduce” some new ideas to your partner; especially since that’s exactly what so many men wish that their lady would do, to begin with.
So, with all of this said, if you’re someone who is hung up on not initiating, first spend some time really processing what the word means. Because when two people are eager to begin sex and invest in each other sexually, that is the recipe for a truly satisfying experience…over and over and over again.
C’mon. Who Doesn’t Want to Feel Wanted?
GiphyI remember once reading an article that said our brain processes rejection the same way that it does physical pain, and y’all, I don’t know about you, but if something is physically hurting me, my natural inclination is to get away from it. Along these lines, when it comes to relationships since research has proven that rejection can lead to things like jealousy, shame, anxiety, loneliness, and guilt — yes, it makes all of the common sense in the world that you would want to do all that you can to make your partner feel wanted…both in and outside of the bedroom because, just like no one wants to deal with physical pain, no one wants to keep dealing with rejection and all of the fallout that comes with it…either.
Actually, when it comes to this particular point, I think that an article that I once read on Psychology Today’s site said it best: “Not only does being needed help define your role in a relationship, but being needed can also influence how satisfied you feel in a relationship.” And before some of you say that “sex is not a need” — the hell you say? I mean, the only purpose of your clitoris is to provide sexual stimulation, so that alone should make us all deem sex (and sexual fulfillment) as pretty damn important.
Plus, by definition, a need is something that is deemed as being essential while also being something that is extremely necessary, and anyone who thinks that a romantic relationship doesn’t need physical intimacy? That’s someone who really needs to remain single because one of the top things that makes a relationship more than a friendship is there is intimacy that’s involved.
Besides, who doesn’t want to feel wanted by their partner — and I do mean, in every way? And when you make the decision to be in an exclusive relationship with someone else, you are declaring that they are someone who pleases you to the point where you don’t need to look for anyone else to do it; and, if that is indeed what you are saying, it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t initiate sex with them sometimes (and I do mean more than on their birthday).
One, because you choose them to “fill that role.” Two, because they are the source of your fulfillment in that area. Three, because it’s completely unfair (not to mention totally hypocritical) to expect them to make you feel wanted when you’re not being intentional about making them feel the same way in return. Not to mention the fact that initiating also helps to safeguard your relationship on a lot of levels too.
Since sex is important and rejection is detrimental on so many levels, it’s crucial to make your partner feel sexually wanted and desired by you. One way to definitely do that is to initiate sex.
What Initiating Sex Does for You
GiphySo, what does initiating sex do for the initiator? Something that I tell a lot of my women clients is it helps them to create an atmosphere that puts them in the mood. What I mean by that is, if their husband is perfectly content having sex on the couch during commercials (I’m kind of exaggerating to make a point…kind of…LOL) while they would like some candles, mood music, and rose petals — they can control that if they are the one who initiates.
Another perk that comes with being the initiator is you have more “control” over how the sex goes. The kind of foreplay you want, how fast or slow things go, how intercourse begins — all of this, you have more of a say so in if you’re the one who is initiating intimacy. Why? Well, think about when your bae initiates — doesn’t it seem like you tend to follow his lead more when he’s the one who is first to get the ball rolling?
Oftentimes, when a couple comes to me about being sexually dissatisfied, and I recommend that the one who doesn’t initiate takes more initiative, the one on the receiving end likes the fact that their partner is “running the show” — and the initiator likes “being in charge” more than they thought that they would. As a result, both end up experiencing far more pleasure.
The initiator shows what they want more of while the receiver feels desired in the process. A win/win for everyone.
What Initiating Sex Does for Him
sexy black and white GIFGiphyA couple of weeks ago, while in a session with a client, he was joking about how much he has “too much of a good thing” when it comes to his wife’s libido. Although science says that the fact that men have a higher amount of testosterone in their system, and it is the reason why they typically have a higher sex drive, don’t sleep on a lot of women out there who want to get it in more than their husband does. His wife is one of them. Since she’s a client of mine too (oftentimes, we do our sessions separately), it’s interesting that he’s fine with having sex a couple of times a month while she would like to a couple of times a week.
So, is he denying her when she wants it more often? Nope. The reason why they’re not having more sex is that even though her drive is higher, she still waits for him to initiate. Why? Because she thinks that’s what “the man should do”; not only that but “being wooed” turns her on more.
As I’ve been working on helping them to find a middle ground (because if marriage ain’t about compromise, I don’t know what is), he says that he feels like because he plans a lot of the dates, he wishes that she would initiate more: “I don’t think a lot of women get how hard it is to be a Black man out here. Nothing feels better than knowing that if no one else is thrilled by your presence, your woman is. For us, initiating isn’t just about sex. It’s about feeling wanted as a whole. And when we feel like our woman adores us, there is no greater turn-on.”
I’m not sure what y’all heard, but what it sounds like to me is when we, as women, initiate sex, men feel holistically special and cherished. That makes sense, too, because if we were to put our feet in their shoes, we would probably say the same thing. That’s just one more reason to pull the “gender roles” out of this topic; men and women both want to feel like they are the best thing on the planet by their sex partners. And again, initiating helps us all to feel that way.
What Initiating Ultimately Does for Your Relationship As a Whole
Issa Rae Love GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphyPersonally, I can only imagine how much better sex would be for everyone (who is in a sexual relationship) if people simply initiated copulation whenever they wanted to have it. That way, everyone would feel desired — and what could possibly be wrong with that? Especially if both individuals factored in some of the definitions for initiated that I already shared. Just think about if you rushed home tonight because you read about something that you want to introduce to your man or there’s a fantasy that you have that you want to admit.
The mere conversations alone will help to bring the two of you closer together because, after all, deep intimacy is about minds, bodies, and spirits getting as close as possible…right? And so, yes, by initiating sex, it can bring more closeness and stability to the relationship as a whole.
And what if you initiate and your partner isn’t interested at the time? Or what if you’re shy about initiating due to having a fear of rejection? That’s a fair and legitimate concern. One day, I’ll need to pen an article on how couples should handle situations like that with grace (on both ends) while applying the golden rule of “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.” For now, I’ll just say that if this is your greatest point of concern, share that with your partner as well.
After all, it’s pretty unrealistic to expect them to always want it when you do (although it’s been my experience and observation that men are almost always far easier to convince…LOL); just know that not wanting sex at the exact moment that you do doesn’t mean that they don’t want you altogether. Besides, oftentimes, a nap or a night of sleep can rectify that issue. Trust me.
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Rihanna was actually once quoted as saying, “To me, sex is power. It’s empowering to do it because you want to do it.” I personally think that’s a great way to bring this to a close. Make your partner feel wonderful, empower yourself, and strengthen your relationship by initiating sex more often. I can’t think of one reason why it’s not a wise move. Can you?
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Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images