Sherri Shepherd Reminds Us Of The Real Problem With Interracial Dating
I'll never forget the day my then 13-year-old nephew told my family that he was dating a white girl, all hell broke loose.
The heavens fell and mountains moved as my mother and sister rolled their eyes into oblivion with disappointment. Now, to be fair, there were also rumors that the little girl's parents were witches, which was disturbing to say the least, but the real kicker was the fact that my nephew thought he could date interracially without catching any flack from the black women in my family.
Fast-forward to my junior year in college, when I brought home my boyfriend, who was very much white, and only caught sh*t about it from the men in my family. My mother and sister, who both had given my nephew hell for dating a white girl, said virtually nothing about my newest partner.
It's 2018, and although racial tensions have never been higher, I would like to think we've evolved far past the societal rules and concepts that existed when Emmett Till was alive. Black men and women alike are no longer beaten and persecuted for pursuing romantic interests outside of their race, and have the freedom to select a partner in whomever they choose.
Yet still, interracial dating is a vibrant subject of debate in our country. One that even celebrity TV host, Sherri Shepherd, has encountered in her own personal life. In a recent interview with The Breakfast Club, Sherri revealed that her preteen son was not interested in black girls. She told the hosts that she discovered this revelation after having a conversation with him about the girls at his school. She said:
"I am going through this thing, he likes these girls and … there's not that many little Black girls in his school … 'cause he came in and he said, 'Mommy, I like white girls' … The little Black girls get mean with him," she says of her 13-year-old son Jeffrey Charles Tarpley. "Like, sometimes they don't wanna speak. Sometimes they act crazy. And he's like, 'Why they act so crazy?' And I'm like, 'I don't know.' So I keep trying to tell the little girls to be nicer so he can come towards you. But the other girls see him and they go, 'Hey, Jeffery' and they wanna feel his hair."
She also said that her son mentioned that black girls "moved their neck" when they talked to him, implying a defect in their attitudes and way of expression.
When Sherri asked what to do about her personal conundrum, Charlamagne suggested that she surround him with more positive male figures while Angela Yee's solution involved presenting him with more representation of people that look like him. While both of their suggestions are valid, I'd like to propose a different remedy to Sherri's "problem."
Our societal views will remain tainted if we don't address misinformation and cut it down at the root. Sherri's "problem" is not in her son's wanting to date outside of his race, but in his innate negative perception of women of color.
Before we even have the chance to have our first menstrual cycles, we are labeled as angry, bitter, or as Sherri's son would say, "mean." There is a preconceived and false notion that black men date white women because of some defect that exists within women of color.
The truth is, love is love. And Sherri's son finding love in a young girl that is not black is not a problem to be resolved. The underlying mindset that black women can be fit into this infamous box of stereotypes is the real issue at hand.
Until we start addressing these truths and confronting falsely perceived ideologies about race, how can we really progress as a society?
When men make declarations that shun and ostracize black women, it's a reflection of how they feel about themselves. For this reason, when a man tells you he only dates one race of women, just know to run in the other direction.
I've been with a few white men that claim to only date black women, leading me to perceive there's a box he wants me to fit in, and if I do not, he may become disinterested.
To some, this distinction is preference. To me, it's discriminatory and perpetuates a need for some serious self-reflection.
All in all, Sherri's son is a preteen and this mindset is one he's sure to grow out of. The comments to his mom can't be taken literally, but are proof that it's time to change the way we think about race and interracial dating as a people.
We no longer live in a time where black men can be killed for pursuing a woman outside of their race. This change in times also means that it's time to get rid of stereotypical and inaccurate racial stereotypes that plague us from childhood.
Featured image by s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production company: @polly___studio
Producer/AD: Samuel Cho @choboi90
Producer/Tech: Paul Nguyen @paul__winn
DP: Cristian Bernal @cristianbernal
Editor: @30inthemorning
2nd Cam: Paul Nguyen
1st AC: AJ Paug @ajpaug Gaffer: Dennis Albert @dennisalbert_
Audio Mixer: Victor Chavez @vic_the__
PA: Rick Carreno @ispeakrick
PA: Tiffany Do @tivani.doee
BTS Photo: Prime @theartofprime
Car Detail: @sud_studs @slugglobal
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@xoNecole
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Feature image by Prime/ @theartof prime