How YouTuber 'Shan Boody' Built A Powerful Sex Positive Platform
Not everyone can have an open conversation with their parents about their sexual exploits, let alone broadcast it to the world. But Shannon "Shan Boody" Boodram, a YouTuber who's known to keep it real when it comes to anything sex, love and relationships, has managed to do both. Her latest video? A bare-all sex talk with her parents, and let's just say that it goes there.
“At first my parents, of course, weren't thrilled and people around me are like are you sure? And I've lost jobs because of it," Shannon admits about her risqué career-path. “But the firmer that I get and the more sure that I am, the more other people feel that way."
As taboo as the topic of sex is in the black community, Shannon has managed to capitalize on the one thing that everyone's doing but few are willing to openly talk about. And when it comes to lovemaking, Shannon is as much of an expert as she is an enthusiast. The certified sexologist earning her credentials from the University of Toronto has made guest appearances on shows such as The Amber Rose Show, Just Keke, and The Insider, lending her expertise to the millions looking to gain a better understanding of their anatomy and how to use it, as well as dropping knowledge (and the occasional tear over an ex) to her 140,000 plus fans on YouTube.
So how exactly does one choose to specialize in sex? Well, if you ask Shannon, it was something that just came about naturally.
Growing up Shannon tapped into her sexuality at a young age. Her mother called her crude but Shan calls it having a natural sexual development. Her Barbie's became sexually active before she could even quite understand the depth of the act. She found the available information on the subject to be boring, so she relied on popular urban books such as Coldest Winter Ever and Fly Girl to school her on what to expect for first-time frisking. And though her parents didn't hide sex, their open door policy still left questions that she didn't quite know to even ask. So at the age of 16, when she lost her virginity to a hot London bloke while attending a track meet in Hungary, it didn't quite meet her expectations.
“The first time that I had sex I thought the clitoris was inside of the vaginal canal, and so I kept waiting for that experience—for this button to be pressed and for it to feel amazing—but the truth is your vaginal walls have as many nerves as the back of your hand, so there's not a lot," says Shannon.
At 18, when she stepped on the campus of Baltimore's Coppin State University, she had five notches on her belt and zero orgasms to complement them. Describing her own teen sex life as “shitty," she became fascinated by the stories of her more experienced friends. The honest conversations with her fellow peers sparked a desire in her to get the real scoop on sex, and not just the sultry scenes that television shows and porn portrayed the act to be.
“I met a girl there who was 18 years old and HIV positive, and one of my friends from Baltimore, she was a lesbian. And so I learned about sex from her and I was like man, this is what's kind of missing. You have the facts and information but competing with that are these interesting stories."
The textbook version of sex was dull, so she started gathering real experiences from her peers and compiled the answers into a book that touched on topics ranging from abstinence to STI's and unplanned pregnancies. “I didn't really think to myself, oh I'm going to make sex my career. I was just like this is a really good book idea."
After a year of touring with her book, Shannon decided that she wanted a less controversial career path, but just as she began turning down the sex talk, BET reached out to her with an opportunity to be a sex and relationship educator for a new talk show they were filming, so the Toronto native applied for an American work visa and flew to L.A. to audition. She landed the role, but the pilot didn't get picked up. Back in Toronto she was specializing in wedding photography when a year later the television network reached out again, this time for a talk show featuring Eva Marcille, Jessica White and Wendy Raquel Robinson. Although once again the show didn't get picked up, Shannon, felt that her calling was in L.A., and relocated to the city of dreams with no job and no place to live to continue auditioning for roles.
But the move was far from easy. She was shooting pilot shows, but each pilot locked her into a six-month holding deal in which she couldn't audition for other roles. Her American work visa limited her to working only in television, making it difficult to pick up outside work as is typical for those pursuing television and film roles. The constant cycle of going in and out of holding deals left her penniless, feeling purposeless, and struggling with depression. In one video, Shannon breaks down in tears as she recounts the experience of fighting to get out of bed everyday while waiting for the next opportunity to come.
“L.A. is one of those cities where if you're not really clear on what you want to do, go home, and once you have that clarity and what you want to do the second part of that is constantly knowing what is giving back to you, and putting that energy out there," Shannon says.
Despite the seemingly grim circumstances, Shannon learned to hustle and picked up hosting and journalism gigs to make ends meet, as well as continued building her brand on her YouTube channel, where she speaks openly on the topics of sex and relationships in today's culture. “I'm getting better at my craft, I'm connecting with people on my own, and I basically can make my own schedule. People can't take that away from me. You have to find a space for yourself that you have control of and that you actually are getting a return from."
"You have to find a space for yourself that you have control of and that you actually are getting a return from."
Not only has she battled with inconsistent jobs, but being known as a “sex expert" also impacted her job opportunities. In November, she was offered a stage-hosting gig for a tech company, but upon accepting the offer the company had a sudden change of heart after researching her and discovering her passion for pleasure.
“I'm not hiding the fact that I talk about sex. I'm a strong woman who's educated. I volunteer at a sex trafficking clinic. I give the best that I can to this world, and to devalue me because I talk about something that people search on the Internet more than anything else is disgusting," says Shannon.
"I give the best that I can to this world, and to devalue me because I talk about something that people search on the Internet more than anything else is disgusting."
The experience taught her to not only be firm in who she is, but also be patient with those who don't understand who she is. “I think that I'm finding my comfort, but I'm also respecting my pace. And I think a big part of maturity for me was giving that permission to other people—giving them room to find their comfort and to respect their pace. If they're not where I am right now it's okay. The more confident I am and the more that I'm honoring what's authentic to me, that will rub off."
Perhaps the biggest challenge for the 30-year-old is continuing to walk in her purpose even when it seems that all odds are against her. In a recent video, “Am I Cursed by God?", she celebrates finally becoming an American citizen after months of fighting to be approved for her green card—a big win in the midst of battling bed bugs, hunting for a new apartment with little money in the bank, and purchasing a plane ticket for an event that was cancelled last minute.
“How hard you work in the worst of it will determine how temporary this is," she says. “The slower you act, the more that you indulge in self pity, the more you indulge in comforts to take your mind off of it, the longer it will take to get rid of these issues." Pushing through the hard times has proven to be rewarding for the sex educator, who recently picked up a big contract with Trojan and continues to speak on sex panels amongst her other hustles.
As stressful as the struggle has been, those same experiences have given her the confidence to say that she's no longer a young girl just trying to figure it out, but a woman who knows who she is and is unapologetic about it.
"I've definitely grown up as a woman," Shannon says. "I've dealt with so many things. I've dealt with bed bugs, I've dealt with car problems I didn't know how to fix and flats on the side of the road and running out of gas, and my Internet turning off for no reason and having to call the Internet guy. It's just life. And I'm proud that I'm busy and I'm focused, and I don't spend as much time worrying about other people's opinion. When I first came here, I still felt weird about the word 'woman', but now I'm super clear that's what I am."
In addition to her success with her Shan Boody YouTube channel, Shannon recently inked a deal with Fullscreen where she created, executive produced, and starred in her own multi-episode series exclusively on the streaming platform. The series, all 12 episodes now available in full on the platform, is called "Shan Boody Is Your Perfect Date" and is a social experiment where Shannon sets out to prove that the key to being anyone's perfect date is tapping into the psychology of seduction versus looks and appearance. It did so well, she's getting a renewal!
Shannon also went public about her open relationship with up-and-coming artist Jared Brady, someone she gives further credit to about the growth she has experienced as a woman in recent years. They are very committed, very in love, and very open with their audience and even branched out from her channel to create a couple's channel called The Examined Life, which is formatted in a style that is part-podcast, part-vlog where Shannon and Jared talk and have candid conversations about everything from their relationship to their own journeys as individuals.
That's how you really glo up.
Catch up with Shannon by subscribing to her YouTube or giving her a follow on Instagram.
All images courtesy of Shannon Boodram
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images