LeVar & Reanne Harris On How Travel Keeps The Love Alive In Their First Year
In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
A couple that travels together, stays together.
The sentiment couldn't ring truer for newlyweds LeVar Harris and Reanne Swafford-Harris. The couple are fresh off of commemorating their second-year wedding anniversary with a trip to Santorini, Greece. Among bleach white houses and bright blue roofs synonomous with Santorini, the two indulged in a private tour and access to some remote areas of the island and the village of Oia.
Photo Credit: @miltoskaraiskakis_photography
“It was a beautiful experience and we couldn't be happier with the photos we have to commemorate our time there," Reanne said. “In fact, Santorini is the first island we unanimously decided we would come back to with our future babies."
When LeVar, 28, met Reanne, 27, it was nearly a decade ago and deeply fated. The setting was a holiday social LeVar's fraternity was hosting for their annual Miss Black & Gold scholarship pageant. On that particular night, Reanne was a woman on a mission, having laid eyes on LeVar before then and letting his best friend know that of all the brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha, she wished to be paired up with him. Little did they know, in that moment, they were walking into the rest of their lives together.
From afar, LeVar had known Reanne as the cute track girl, but as they grew closer, he quickly became captivated by her drive, her focus, and her discipline. For Reanne, she always felt secure in his presence. The couple quickly found love through each other, a shared love of Christ, and adventure. And after five beautiful years together, the two exchanged vows and solidified their union on September 5, 2015.
Photo Credit: @miltoskaraiskakis_photography
This is their journey.
The One
LeVar Harris: I knew she was the one when I saw how she treated her friends and family, and how they interacted with her. Goals and ambitions are cool, but how your loved ones view you will eventually pour into your future family. After I saw how she cooked for, housed, and took care of her friends and track teammates in college, I knew she was the total package. I knew that my next girlfriend was going to be my future wife - which is why I was so selective - so marriage was definitely imminent.
I love my wife's tenacity, drive, and ambition.
I've always admired how Reanne is someone who is very goal-oriented and how she stops at nothing to make sure she achieves those goals. In the same breath, she pushes those around her to do better. You can't help but want to run right next to her. That's also what makes our relationship so much fun.
Not only will she ride shotgun with me, but also, she isn't afraid to drive right next to me. She's a true teammate and partner.
Reanne Swafford-Harris: I knew he was the one when I realized how closely his relationship with Christ mirrored my own. He was the first boyfriend I had to ever make me question if I was doing enough to seek out God. Was I in my word daily? Was I holding myself accountable for unforgiveness in my heart? Did people look at me and see Christ the same way I saw the Lord's favor over LeVar's life? I instantly realized he challenged me in the only way that mattered, and what truly sealed the deal for me was when he broached the topic of celibacy before I did. That gave me the upmost security in knowing I had been matched with someone equally yoked, someone who desired to live for God in word and deed for their own righteousness, and not in order to impress or win me over.
I instantly realized he challenged me in the only way that mattered.
I love his wisdom, how he seeks God first, and how even-tempered he is. LeVar is my peace. I can definitely be a storm (laughs), but when I enter our home, it's always a peaceful environment awaiting me and that's because my husband is consistent about thinking of ways to make life easy for me, and that's really something we try to do for each other.
The Best Part
LeVar: I think the concept of experiencing new things together is something we've shared from our first international trip together for my wife's 23rd birthday. I just remember how fun it was to embark on this new side of the world we had never seen before. The trip really opened our eyes to not only how amazing all-inclusive resorts are (laughs), but more importantly, it showed how far we can go with each other.
Reanne: My husband and I value uninterrupted time together in general, and traveling is an activity that really lends itself to that, be it a road trip to Vegas for my 21st, or our recent getaway to Greece to celebrate our second wedding anniversary. But I would say I am the more adventurous one, and I am definitely the creator of our travel itineraries. Luckily, my husband is really a go with the flow kind of guy, and always appreciates the effort I put into researching new countries and planning activities for us upon arrival. I see my time spent planning as an act of service to him, and because he enjoys indulging me, I typically don't get too much push back budget-wise (laughs).
Love Conquers All
Photo Credit: @miltoskaraiskakis_photography
LeVar: When Reanne graduated from law school, she got an offer from a law firm in San Francisco. We had been dating for a while, but I knew I wasn't interested in a long-distance relationship. I was very comfortable in Southern California with my own house and stable job, but knew if Reanne was going to be my future spouse, some sort of official commitment had to be made. I took it up with God, and prayed hard for a good two months, and then He gave me the confirmation I needed.
Reanne: Like my husband said, when I accepted a job offer in a city seven hours away, I knew this would either break us or make us. My husband had truly offered all the support I could have asked for in helping me make this decision. At the time, I, of course, wanted him to come with me, but I didn't feel I had the right to ask him to give up his home, career, and proximity to his family as his girlfriend. Although women are expected to uproot themselves in any stage of their relationship for a man, that same expectation is oftentimes unmet. I am still so grateful that I met and married a man who treats me as his equal.
Baggage Claim
LeVar: I personally didn't have any major baggage, maybe just a little carry on (laughs), but Reanne had some stemming from her past relationships we had to overcome. I personally never took it to heart because I understood the cause and she acknowledged it, but instead of complaining about it and making her feel bad, I just made the decision to stick my chest out and push through it. I literally made it a goal of mine to be the guy she didn't think existed. It worked.
I literally made it a goal of mine to be the guy she didn't think existed.
In terms of bad behaviors, I definitely had to unlearn being single and everything that came with it because I was single for so long prior. The going out without telling anyone, and being flirty unintentionally was something I didn't even realize I did until Reanne brought it to my attention.
Reanne: I had a lot of control issues, and I never realized how selfish I was until I was challenged with putting someone first. Prior to meeting my husband, I was a serial dater in the sense that as soon as I got out of one long-term relationship, I was quick to jump into another without every analyzing myself or the type of men I was allowing to date me. Although I never had a prolonged season of “singleness," I was still a newly 20-year-old with no concept of what a healthy relationship looked like, so for me checking your significant other's text messages before bed was as routine as me removing my makeup and brushing my teeth …so yeah, I had a lot to unlearn with respect to boundaries and trust.
The fortunate thing about meeting so young was that we had a little over 4 ½ years of dating to navigate these behaviors, and we attended premarital counseling through our church prior to getting married, so we did not bring any baggage into our marriage. A lot of me unlearning bad behavior simply came with aging and the maturity that followed, and of course my husband being consistent with how he demonstrated his love for me, even at such a young age, was pivotal.
Conflict Resolutions
LeVar: As with any relationship, there will be friction, but we always addressed it head on by communicating with one another. We always took the time to understand what each of our intentions was, and then figured out a happy medium.
Reanne: Overall, our first year was surprisingly smooth, and we definitely saw more highs than lows. But 2016 did present some difficult emotional challenges with a family death and my husband's career transition. I am not an outwardly emotional person when it comes to expressing sadness, so it was a challenge for me to comfort him in a way that communicated my empathy when my inner being wanted to shut down into a reclusive state. I am very fortunate though that my husband has always been adamant about us extending the benefit of the doubt to one another.
For more, keep up with the Harrises on Instagram @ladyharris_esq and @lv14degrees.
Know of any couples that epitomize black love goals to you? Whether married or unmarried, send us a note at submissions@xonecole.com for a chance to be featured in an upcoming Our First Year or How We Met feature.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
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DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
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Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing:Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl:Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
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Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
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Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence'sinaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
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Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
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Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
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Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
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Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
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Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
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Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
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Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
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AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
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Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl:Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
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Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
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