How I Stopped Talking About My Goals & Actually Started Accomplishing Them
It starts off the same every new year. Resolutions are made and then resolutions fade as the months quickly give way to the next year when the cycle repeats.
On many occasions, I have gotten caught in the pattern of promising myself that this year would be different: I would get the body that I wanted, I would make the money that I desired, I would travel to places that I pinned to my Pinterest board, only to look back in December and realize that many of my goals fell by the wayside as life took over and reminded me that change is inevitable and flexibility is necessary.
But this past year, I decided to stop making empty promises to myself and started creating actionable plans in all areas of my life, from career to love and relationships, to actually see my dreams and desires come to fruition. I moved across the country to Los Angeles with just a few dollars in my pocket and a vision for my life. I shed the few pounds that I gained on the journey over. I started checking off goals and ideas that I posted on my vision board two years prior, and I started getting my confidence back as I discovered my own strength and power as a woman who can speak things into existence.
It has not only changed how I perceive life, but it has also changed my perception of myself and what I'm able to accomplish when I'm focused and committed to me. And in the New Year, I look to take that to another level.
Here are five things that helped me to back up the things that I constantly talked about and that made me a winner last year:
I Wrote Down My Vision and Actionable Steps To Make It A Reality
There's nothing wrong with having a grand vision for your life. In fact, if your vision is something that you can easily accomplish on your own, it's not big enough. But one thing that I realized that I did years prior was write down lofty dreams without a real plan of how to make it really happen. I love a vision board as much as the next person, but as pretty as the pictures are, they don't show you all the pieces that require assembly in order to get to that ultimate image. So this past year, I switched it up and instead of pinning photos to a board, I penned my vision on paper—and then penned all the steps leading up to the end goal.
I purchased a Passion Planner, which was perfect because, as a writer, my life revolves around deadlines and the planner kept me on point. But what I loved most about it was that at the beginning, it asked you to write down a wish list of the different goals you had for yourself three months out, a year out, and three years out. You would define what your game changer was—the goal that had the most positive impact on your life at the moment. That goal would go in the middle of the page and surrounding the goal would be things you would do to make it happen. At the end of the month, you would assess your progress and write down ways to improve the next month. It was like an accountability partner on paper, and it helped me to get close to my goals of being debt-free, moving to L.A., and creating multiple streams of income using my natural gifts and talents.
While you don't necessarily have to have a planner to make this happen, the key is to write down smaller, realistic steps that help you to reach your end goal. That way it doesn't feel overwhelming or unobtainable, and keeps you in check every step of the way.
I Stopped Watching Other People Live Their Lives
I'm guilty of aimlessly scrolling through Instagram and double-tapping pictures of people who are living their lives to the fullest. On one hand, it's motivating to see my peers accomplishing their dreams, but as much as I love celebrating their successes, it can sometimes distract me from focusing on my own goals. Those minutes turn into hours that could've been spent more wisely, and looking to them for motivation prevented me from diving within myself and tapping into the genius that lies within.
I decided to start making a change by fasting from social media for two weeks and deleted all apps from my phone because temptation is real. It honestly was the most productive—and peaceful—weeks that I'd had in months. Afterward, instead of pretending that I was going to stay off of social media all day everyday, I put boundaries around it. I set certain times of the day where I could go on and browse and catch up with people. I reserved the hours that I'm most productive for zoning in on my goals. I even put myself on a schedule. It sounds simple but it does wonders for helping to accomplish those dreams that we often speak about but have little to show for.
I Didn't Turn A Temporary Setback Into Defeat
Okay, so I may have overslept one day. I had to push back a launch because my photographer rescheduled on me. Or to keep it real, I just didn't “feel like it" and I chose to kick back and watch an episode of Queen Sugar instead of working on my own bestselling novel. Life happens, and so does procrastination. But missing a personal deadline isn't the end all be all—it's an opportunity to embrace what is, and adjust to make happen what you want to be. If I got caught up on every perceived failure then I'd live in a constant state of self-pity and never get anything accomplished. There's always going to be hurdles on the road to success. How you handle it not only speaks volumes about your character, but also about how badly you want it. Besides, it's a marathon, not a race.
The goal is to keep moving forward.
I Celebrated My Progress Along the Way
I admit that I haven't always been too good at this. You know, patting myself on the back for that small goal that I can now check off my list. I'm always looking forward to the next thing; I don't dwell too much on the past. But sometimes you need to pause for a second to celebrate how far you've come to appreciate where you're going. It's easy to get into the habit of complaining or worrying, but when you stop to see what has been accomplished, it shifts your perspective and gives you a different drive and a new energy.
I used to do a blessings jar and throughout the course of the year, I would write down good things that happened on slips of paper, and close to New Year's Eve I would pull them out one by one and reflect on the wide range of wins. Now, I have a space in my planner for weekly reflections that I fill in every week. It's made me realize that the small wins are just as significant as the big ones, even if they're not things that seem worthy of bragging about on social media. It helps you not to rely on the praise and approval of others because you learn how to be your own cheerleader in life. You learn to find positivity in everything, and that even setbacks aren't without a greater purpose.
I Made New Goals
So you made an actionable plan, put social media pause, stopped crying over spilled milk, and found a reason to celebrate your baby steps. Now you're checking things off your list left and right because you have a new attitude and your changed mindset is bringing good energy into your life. Now what?
You keep going. You make new goals. You reached 5,000 followers for your brand? Cool, now it's time to reach 10,000. You built six months worth of savings in your bank account? Fabulous. Now start saving for the down payment on that dream home. You stopped looking for love in hopeless places and started loving you—all of you? It's about time. Now let that good energy attract the right partner who you can continue to build and grow with. The point is not to always dream bigger, always strive for more.
The top of the mountain is just an illusion to the heights that you can climb—the sky is the limit.
What steps are you taking to make your New Year's resolution a New Year's reality?
Originally posted on Write On Kiah.
- How to Make (and Keep) a New Year's Resolution - Smarter living ... ›
- New Year's Resolutions: Take People as We Find Them | National ... ›
- These apps will help you keep your New Year's resolutions ... ›
- Why your brain makes New Year's resolutions impossible to keep ... ›
- Make and keep your New Year's resolutions, with help from science ... ›
- New Year's Resolution Ideas: 10 Best Goals to Make | Men's Health ›
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Playa del Carmen is the perfect vacation getaway for anyone who loves beautiful beaches, delicious food, and fun activities. Located on the Caribbean Sea side of Mexico, PDC is nestled right between the spring break hub Cancun and the growing hotspot Tulum. Oftentimes overlooked for some of the other popular cities, I found Playa del Carmen to have just as much in terms of vacation necessities, with a more local and authentic Mexican feel.
The Ultimate Guide to Playa del Carmen
Playa del Carmen is perfect for a solo traveler looking to spend a few days in paradise or the group chat that wants to hang on the beach all day and turn up at night. I found the area to have a little bit of everything for everyone, so here’s my guide on where to eat, stay, and play for the ultimate Playa del Carmen vacation.
Getting Around
The easiest way to get to Playa del Carmen is to fly into Cancun Airport and then make your way south. You can rent a car and drive the one hour down to PDC, take a taxi, or you can catch the ADO bus, which will cost you less than $40 roundtrip. Overall, Playa del Carmen is an easy and safe city to navigate. If you stay on or close to Quinta Avenida (5th Avenue), you’ll be within walking distance to a ton of stores, restaurants, and nightlife. Most taxi rides were between 100 and 150 pesos, which is less than $10 USD. Renting a car is also an option, but with things being very walkable and taxis being fairly inexpensive, it’s not a necessity. Another great way to get around is bikes, which you can rent to use throughout the city.
Stay
The Thompson Hotel is for the folks who know that where you stay on vacation absolutely does matter. This luxury property offers chic rooms and upscale suites, onsite restaurants, and a spa for those who are looking to pamper themselves. One of the standout features of this property is the rooftop infinity pool, which has 360-degree views of the city and is absolutely stunning. This is your type of hotel if you value immaculate views, delicious eats, prime location, and live DJs.
Grand Hyatt offers a prime beachfront location, while also being steps away from the mix on Quinta Avenida. I like that this property allows you to take in the calm beauty of the Caribbean, while also being in close proximity to the action within the city. You get both authentic Mexican food and some international fare at the resort restaurants, and this property also has an infinity pool that gives views of the ocean.
Airbnb
If you don’t have the funds to spend on a hotel stay, but still want clean and comfortable accommodations, do not overlook Airbnb. You can find super reasonably priced apartments close to the strip that will leave you in the heart of all the action. Many of these buildings feature 24-hour security, infinity pools, top-notch gyms, and rooftop bars. This is a great way to save some money, while not sacrificing the quality of the accommodations you like.
Eat
One of the best parts of being near the Caribbean Sea is having access to fresh seafood, and Ictio Fish House is the place to go for it. Located just a block off of the 5th Avenida strip, this small seafood restaurant is a quieter change compared to some of the busier and more touristy restaurants located directly on the strip. They have both indoor and outdoor seating available, but if you can snag a spot at the bar, the service is top notch and you can watch the bartender put together your craft cocktail.
Everything they serve is delicious and tastes authentic, so you really can't go wrong when ordering. But to start, the crispy jumbo shrimp and calamari are perfect for sharing. Other must-try dishes are the garlic butter catch of the day and the adobo-styled octopus.
El Fogon
Ask anyone for a recommendation for the best tacos in Playa del Carmen, and I promise you they will point you to El Fogon. You know a spot is good when it’s filled with just as many locals as tourists, and there’s a line outside at 1 p.m. This no-frills spot serves up authentic Mexican favorites like el pastor tacos, chicken quesadillas, guacamole, and margaritas. Every dish comes with the fixings and is not only super filling but extremely affordable. You can easily get a full meal and a drink for less than $20 USD. They have more than one location, so you can taste some of their delicious tacos no matter what part of PDC you stay in.
L&L by Lara&Luca
Before you hit the beach for day drinking, you need a hearty breakfast from L&L to start your day. This cute cafe is the smaller “sister” restaurant to Lara&Luca, another popular breakfast and lunch cafe in Playa. I liked that L&L is less busy and more laid back than the other location. They serve up typical breakfast and lunch items such as eggs, coffee, sandwiches, and French toast.
My favorite item was the ham and cheese croissant, which could be enjoyed on their outdoor seating or taken to enjoy on the go. They also have yummy pastries, but these sell out quickly, so be sure to go early.
El Pirata
If you’re a fried fish lover like me and appreciate sea-to-table service, El Pirata is the place to go. This restaurant is tucked away towards the end of the main 5th Avenida strip, so you might miss it if you aren’t looking for it. The restaurant serves up a plethora of tasty dishes like fresh ceviche, garlic shrimp, and shrimp empanadas, and has a full beverage menu for your libation needs. However, the fried fish is truly the star of the show.
When you order, they bring to your table a few of the fresh fish that were caught that day and allow you to choose which lucky one you want them to fry for you. And let me tell you, picking your own fried fish just hits different! It was one of my favorite meals in Playa del Carmen.
Play
Food Tour
There are so many delicious places to eat in Playa del Carmen so taking a local food tour is the best way to try a little bit of everything. I love taking food tours when I travel because not only is it a great way to try a range of different local dishes, but the tour guides usually give you a history lesson during the tour where you learn more about the history of certain dishes and the country as a whole. In Playa Del Carmen, I took a local food tour with GetYourGuide, where we stopped at several different locations for tacos, fresh fruit juice, tamales, and more.
I value it when there’s a local leading the tour because it’s a way to support the locals and also learn things that only people native to the location would know. While we walked, the guide shared a lot of insight about Mexico and Playa del Carmen, while giving recommendations for places to eat during our trip.
Cenotes
Cenotes are natural sinkholes or underground caverns that have pools of water in which you can explore, dive, and swim in. You will find cenotes all around Mexico, but there are several in the Playa del Carmen region. Cenotes vary in size and also the depth of water, so even if you don’t know how to swim, you can find a cenote to explore at your own comfort level. Two beautiful cenotes you can explore near PDC are Cenote Azul and Cenote Dos Ojos.
Cenote Azul is perfect for snorkeling because of the crystal clear waters that allow you to see the colorful fish and plant life underneath. Cenote Dos Ojos is perfect for explorers due to the mesmerizing underground caverns and rock formations throughout. You can take a trip to the cenotes on your own or book a tour that may take you to several different cenotes.
Beaches
Playa Del Carmen has some of the most beautiful beaches in the Caribbean, so beach hopping is a must while vacationing in the area. Whether you want a chill, relaxing beach day or you are thinking of jet skiing on the blue waters, there is a beach for you. There are several beaches along the coast of Playa del Carmen, some that are within walking distance of most hotels, and others that you may need to travel to get to but are totally worth it.
Playa Mamitas is one of the most popular beaches in PDC due to its location near the heart of the city, and also because of the crystal clear waters and white sand. Playa Mamitas is also a great spot for entertainment and the occasional beach party for the folks wanting to turn up. Playacar Beach is another great option that is located in the upscale Playacar neighborhood, south of downtown Playa del Carmen.
It is known for its pristine beauty and laid-back atmosphere, making it a popular destination for travelers seeking relaxation and seclusion. Other beaches to consider are Punta Esmeralda and Xpu-ha Beach, so you’ll have an option for every day of your trip, depending on your mood.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Peathegee Inc/Getty Images