My Husband & I Are Relocating Halfway Across The Country
You ever get that feeling you're supposed to do something or be somewhere? Some people call it their gut, I called it God.
My husband and I are proud planners and I like to think we're pretty responsible people. But we're relocating and this new journey had both of us trembling at one point. No consistent job lined up, no home of our own, and no idea what's next. Still, we both agree this is exactly where we should be.
It's a little difficult to explain but God spoke to us separately and showed us it was just time to go. We had reached our maximum potential in our current city, and as comfortable as we were, staying too much longer could put a ceiling on fulfilling our purpose dreams. We felt a combination of peace and urgency that we couldn't put aside for much longer.
Now, we're in the thick of it and have been in our new city for less than a week and while there are still things left uncertain, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything in the world.
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The Decision: Ain't Nothin To It But To Do It
Once we resolved within ourselves to embark on this major transition, we knew we had to go for it. Of course, those are the times when all of these inconveniences conveniently pop up. Your car breaks down, an unexpected bill comes in the mail, the list is literally endless. But nothing could get in the way of our decision. We just had to stick to our decision when the inconveniences came.
Like I said, my husband and I are planners, so deciding to move halfway across the country without a plan was shocking to a lot of people. We got the side eye a few times but thankfully we had even more reassurance and support. Either way, we knew this was happening, and there was no turning back as we realized the season in our previous city was simply over.
Once we sat down and made our plan, we broke our lease (which was a journey in itself considering we had just renewed a few months before) and had 60 days to move out and start the biggest faith journey of our lives so far. We started to save like crazy, resigned from our jobs, sold and gave away nearly everything before we packed up the rest, and made the big move.
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Thankfully, we already have a support system in our new city and made plans to move in with his parents. Keep in mind we're newlyweds, so this was a difficult decision to make too.
Be Prepared For The Excitement To Go Away…
Because trust me, ish gets real.
When we first decided to relocate, we were super enthusiastic. We literally could not get out of our previous city fast enough as we thought about the seemingly unlimited possibilities that awaited our arrival. At the same time, it was so easy to get discouraged when the excitement wore off. It seemed unrealistic to ignore the weight of our uncertain future. We went from dreaming big to pinching pennies as our moving date got closer and closer. Yes, we were doing what we felt we were supposed to and were both here for a new journey, but at times, there were agonizing feelings of fear and doubt of what life would be like on the other side. And I couldn't shake it.
…But Don't Let Fear Get The Best Of You
I have to admit, reality truly hit the day we packed up and moved to our new city. But there's something about the power of recognizing fear and being able to pursue your dreams in spite of it. I've always admired the phrase that being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid, it just means you don't let it stop you, so I confronted my fear head-on when I asked my husband one night if he was scared about our move.
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I waited weeks before I asked him because I didn't want to plant any seeds of fear that weren't already there. It took him a few seconds to answer before he said, "I'm shaking in my boots."
We then channeled our inner Beth and Randall of NBC's This Is Us and played Worst Case Scenario where we dished out our biggest fears. It came down to the concern of not being able to find jobs. (Keep in mind our plan was to start trying to have children later this year. And insurance is a mother, no pun intended.) Going from just being afraid to addressing and confronting our fears head-on made a monumental difference for both of us. We couldn't help but laugh and realize even if our worst fears happened, it still wouldn't be that bad.
Enjoy The Ride
Once you get over the fear and worry of your big move or transition, it makes the journey so much more fun. Sure, making a big change in life without knowing the result of it is undeniably terrifying. Whether it's going back to school, leaving your job to start a business, or embarking on or ending a new relationship, change is scary. But it can also be exciting.
Going through this major transition taught me so much about myself that I never even knew was there. I would have never had these experiences had I stayed in my comfort zone and been complacent but not really content. I had to realize I didn't want to miss out on the person I was becoming because I was so focused on and worried about everything that could go wrong. I learned that being able to literally take it one step at a time and watch God do his thing is nothing short of mindblowing.
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I'll be sure to update you all on how things go! I can't wait to share with you the greatness that is bound to happen and cheer you on as you go through transitions of your own.
Want more stories like this?
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How Moving Back Home Is The Best Decision I've Ever Made
8 Things To Discuss Before Moving In With Your Partner
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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If you’re like many other people who are prioritizing wellness these days, then attending a wellness retreat might be something to consider. Wellness retreats are a cool way to get the relaxation you’ve been missing in a space with like-minded people who share a common goal. I descended upon my first wellness retreat, the Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat, a couple of weeks ago at the Zoëtry Agua Punta Cana Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
Zoëtry Agua is part of the Inclusive Collection for the World of Hyatt. It is nestled on a secluded part of Uvero Alto beach, which has crystal blue waters. The resort itself is picturesque, with its thatched roofs and lazy rivers that make you feel like you’re in a cute little village.
Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
Photo courtesy
My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
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Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
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The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
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The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
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The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
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