Michelle Obama Gets Candid About Infertility & Gives Us The Ultimate Marriage Advice
Relationships take work, A LOT of work. When you are living a life that involves a partner, compromise, understanding, forgiveness, and love are all keys to a successful relationship. But what happens when you get married, the wedding and honeymoon are over, and you are faced with real life and its problems? With the divorce rate in America being the highest compared to the rest of the world, staying together 'til death do you part is a daunting task in and of itself. Former First Lady, Michelle Obama recently revealed that despite what we may think, not even she has been exempt from experiencing marital tribulations.
Michelle Obama recently sat down with Robin Roberts to discuss some of the topics in her highly-anticipated memoir Becoming, and during the prime-time special (airing November 11 at 9 pm EST), Mrs. Obama reminds us that politics is just a small part of her life.
Barack and Michelle exude couple goals. They are seemingly a match made in political heaven and a beacon of hope for what marriage can and should look like. But for those who think that this image comes without a lot of work, you are sadly mistaken. In a conversation with Robin Roberts, the former First Lady revealed that the couple sought marriage counseling in its early stages. Michelle said that during this time, she learned an invaluable lesson:
"What I learned about myself was that my happiness was up to me. I started working out more. I started asking for help, not just from him but from other people. I stopped feeling guilty. It's important for me to take care of myself. That's not on Barack."
It's easy to think that love conquers all. But like anyone who's ever been a long-term committed relationship can attest to, sometimes just being able to communicate effectively can come with its own set of challenges. Michelle told Robin:
"For those young people out there who think that marriage is supposed to be easy. Marriage counseling for us was one of those ways where we learned how to talk out our differences."
Learning how to love the other person in the way they desire to be loved can be a huge learning curve, and sometimes you need an outside perspective in order to learn how to do it right. Just like there is nothing wrong with getting the help you need when it comes to your mental health, there is absolutely no shame in talking to a counselor to preserve your marriage. Michelle had this advice for couples that may be struggling in their own relationships:
"I know too many young couples who struggle and think that somehow there's something wrong with them. And I want them to know that Michelle and Barack Obama, who have a phenomenal marriage and who love each other, we work on our marriage. And we get help with our marriage when we need it."
Perhaps one of the ultimate tests in a marriage is fertility issues. With more and more high-profile people coming forward with their own struggles with fertility, the veil is slowly being lifted on this very private and difficult subject. In the interview, Michelle also revealed that although the couple had everything going on externally, "It turns out that even two committed go-getters with a deep love and robust work ethic can't will themselves into getting pregnant."
She tells Robin Roberts that when she was struggling to get pregnant and subsequently suffered a miscarriage, she felt "broken". The 54-year-old goes on to reveal that she eventually enlisted the help of a fertility doctor and used IVF in order to conceive both Malia and Sasha. And while the "biological clock is real", the more women are willing to talk about what's happening with their bodies, the more we are able to heal from within.
It's so easy to say #RelationshipGoals from the images we see, but we don't get to see the real work that is put into keeping and maintaining that goal. Relationships are work, and it's a full-time, hard job. We praise the image without thinking about what it takes to get there. Let's start by praising the folks that take the time to focus on their problems while taking measurable steps to heal. While things haven't always been perfect between Michelle and Barack, they took the time to work through their issues and managed to come out stronger on the other side. Now THAT'S real relationship goals!
Michelle Obama's book Becoming will be released on November 13. She is also starting a nationwide book tour promoting the work, with tickets available here. Be sure to set your DVR or have your popcorn ready on Sunday, November 11 for the full interview with Robin Roberts at 9 p.m. on ABC.
To watch a preview of Michelle's exclusive interview with Robin Roberts, check out the video below:
Michelle Obama opens up about miscarriage, new memoir 'Becoming'youtu.be
- Michelle Obama reveals she had miscarriage 20 years ago, used ... ›
- Michelle Obama reveals she had miscarriage, used IVF to conceive ... ›
- Michelle Obama reveals miscarriage and IVF treatment in new book ... ›
- Michelle Obama Opens Up About Miscarriage, Going Through IVF ... ›
- Michelle Obama reveals daughters were conceived by IVF - BBC ... ›
- Michelle Obama and in vitro fertilization: What is IVF? ›
- Michelle Obama's book reveals she had a miscarriage and used IVF ... ›
- Dispelling taboos, Michelle Obama talks IVF and miscarriage - CNN ›
- Michelle Obama used IVF to have Malia and Sasha, struggled to ... ›
- Michelle Obama opens up about infertility - CNN Video ›
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
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