5 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Mental Health
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), 7.7 million adults in the United States live with PTSD. Women are twice as likely as men to develop this condition. Mental illness has been a part of my life as far as I can remember, starting with my mother undiagnosed struggles with mental illness. As a young child, I remember my mother not dealing with daily hardship very well and slowly isolating herself from family members.
By the time I was in my early teens, she had a nervous breakdown, abandoned me to be moved around to different relative homes. Sadly, my mother wasn't diagnosed until much later in life, which prompted me to get clinically diagnosed once I became a mother.
Many consider PTSD a soldier's illness, but in hindsight, twice as many women suffer from PTSD symptoms such as: flashbacks, dissociation, and anxiety. In the past, I was constantly fighting with past trauma and my dear husband was getting caught in the crossfire. I found myself struggling to do simple daily tasks, such as just getting out of bed and taking a shower.
It's not a phase; it's real suffering.
Now, my main priority is maintaining a positive outlook and actively decreasing trigger moments by taking prescribed medication, regular counseling, exercise, and meditation. My husband and I went to marriage counseling and slowly started to heal our relationship.
When your mental health isn't treated properly, everything and everyone you hold dear gets tossed to the side, while you try your best to climb out of that dark hole.
I had to make the decision to try my best to be happy and take full responsibility for my mental health.
I had to examine everything. I started by asking myself questions. Did I have toxic people around me? Was I engaging in anything that caused me stress? Was I actively taking responsibility for my needs, my joy, my pain?
Being diagnosed with a mental illness, such as PTSD, isn't the end of the world and I had nothing to be ashamed of.Once I started treatment, delegating responsibilities in my growing business, and learned to effectively deal with my trigger moments; everything in my life started changing for the better.
I want a happy and fulfilling life. I deserve it.
For anyone suffering from any form of mental illness, things that help me get by are:
- When you've reached your trigger moment and feel yourself sinking, give yourself time to just be! Give yourself ONE day to just feel however you feel. It's okay, we're all human. Negative emotions are still emotions.
- Do something you love to do! Catch a movie, make a spa day, go to the beach. Give yourself permission to do anything that will help you relax and be peaceful.
- Make an appointment with your counselor immediately. A lot of times it's easier to release past trauma with a counselor than it is with family or friends.
- Meditation works wonders! You don't have to be a yoga pro to meditate; it's as simple as going outside, finding a quiet spot, and being still. Think about all that you are grateful for, why you are blessed, things that make you feel happy, etc. Just be still and let God talk to you.
- Medication – my prescription has helped a lot as well. You must let your doctor know if something doesn't feel right. I must see my psychiatric nurse every thirty days for evaluation.
Being a wife, mother, and entrepreneur can be extremely stressful. I'm a firm believer that my family doesn't deserve all my baggage, they deserve the best part of me. I take full responsibility to giving them just that every day. Some days are better than others. But when I have bad days, I try my best to count my blessings and not beat myself up.
With time, I've learned to love and nourish all of me; flaws and all. I hope my story encourage others to speak out and love themselves as well.
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Originally published March 10, 2018
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Charmaine Gresham is the owner and principal project manager at HLG Scans LLC. She helps small businesses transition to a digital lifestyle, managing their businesses from anywhere, using digital tools and services. This Air Force Veteran is on a quest to help women feel comfortable with mental health to live their best life possible.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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The Quiet Luxury Skincare Products A Beauty Writer Thinks Are Worth The Hype
Luxury has become TikTok’s new obsession. Long gone are the days when it was cool to wear that t-shirt with GUCCI labeled across the front. Nowadays, the girls are all about keeping their luxury items a secret. Only opting for clean and high-fashion pieces leaves nothing but a mystery to the mind. Now that quiet luxury fashion has established itself as the latest “it girl” of the season, it’s time for her to expand to other areas, like skincare. Quiet skincare is a rising trend that is soon to take over the summer.
Local drugstore and trendy skincare must move to the left because now it’s all about the fabulous life of luxury skincare. Think Prada, Gucci, and Dior, but on your face. Now that’s what I call a good time! Of course, as your fellow beauty writer, I have done the Lord's work and tested out plenty of luxury skincare products. It hasn’t been easy, and trust me, I’m exhausted, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
This is not the economy to mindlessly buy luxury skincare brands that will barely live up to the hype. Here are my recommendations for luxury skincare that are worth the hype and do what they say they’re going to do.
Tata Harper Clarifying Pore & Oil Control Cleanser with BHA & AHA
Sephora
Our skin and makeup will thrive by keeping our pores as happy as possible. Tata Harper's Clarifying Cleanser is guaranteed to put your pores in their place. This cleanser contains three key ingredients: pear flower enzymes, juniper fruit, and chlorella. Combining these ingredients helps promote exfoliation, oil balance, and soothe redness. I’ve enjoyed using this when those pesky breakouts come through, and my skin is calmer. A gentle clearing cleanser is all you need to invest your money in.
Dr. Barbra Sturm Face Mask
Dr. Barbara Sturm
Before we begin to apply the best of the best of skincare, we must prep our skin. The Dr. Barbara Sturm Face Mask is packed with nutrients to give your skin the supple hydration it deserves. I truly enjoyed using this face mask after my routine deep pore cleansing face mask - no, it’s not luxury, but it is to my pores. It’s safe to say that this face mask is best for all skin types and will have your skin glowing all day long. Aloe vera, known for its hydration and clearing properties, is the main ingredient in this product. After a few usages, I have noticed a massive difference in hyperpigmentation and hydration.
La Mer The Concentrate
This serum is going to cost you a coin. The product is set at a whopping $440. I can try multiple beauty products through brand PR packages as a beauty writer. I tried this popular serum with a small sample I inherited. Sometimes, a sample is all a girl needs to live a rich auntie lifestyle. The serum had my skin looking as incredible as the aftermath of a fresh facial appointment. This product aims to take all your money and rebuild your skin barrier. A secret miracle concentrate is packed into each bottle to enrich your skin. It also contains antioxidants that protect the skin from inflammation and environmental stressors.
Lancôme Absolue Soft Cream Revitalizing & Brightening Moisturizer
Lancôme
Bring your skin back to life with the Lancôme Absolue Soft Cream Moisturizer. Few brightening creams catch my attention, but this one has my heart. Shea butter is one of the key ingredients, along with vitamin E. I am convinced these ingredients have played a massive role in the deep hydration of my skin and the radiance I have experienced with this product. Although this item will cost you $165, a little goes a long way with this product. Shea butter is exceptionally moisturizing and shouldn’t be used with a heavy hand.
Dr. Barbara Sturm Under Eye Cream
Dr. Barbara Sturm is back at it, stealing our wallets one product at a time. Her undereye cream is an exception in terms of skincare. Are you crying at your job? This undereye cream has got you covered! This product is praised for reducing redness and dark undereye shadows, smoothing, and firming while protecting the skin barrier. I’ve used this product on good and bad days and found the consistency is similar to the face mask previously mentioned—hydrating, supple, and enriching.
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Featured image by GoodLifeStudio/Getty Images