In Case You Didn't Know, Self-Care Is For Men Too
Nowadays, women aren't playing when it comes to self-care. I know I'm not. Whatever versions of it we individually decide to seek out, we stop at nothing to gain that inner peace and zen we all need. From taking solo or group trips, alone days at the spa, shutting out social media, turning the phone's ringer off for the day, a therapy session, or simply having a mug of tea, women are seemingly mastering the art of self-care and reclaiming our energy at any and all costs.
And while this is so necessary for survival, to take care of our families and be our badass selves in all facets of our lives, I'm now realizing the importance of sharing these self-care tips with the men in our lives. I know, I know, we can't let them in on all the secrets, but passing on a little bit of the wellness wealth to our husbands, boyfriends, fathers, brothers, friends, uncles, and even grandfathers could be a mutually beneficial deal. Here's why I share my self-care tips with the guys in my life.
1.They need it too, especially now.
Men are usually the last ones to admit that they need help, especially if it has to do with their mental or physical health; this is where we come in! If I'm being frank, Black people as a whole have been really seeing the ugly side of the world. From the ignorance with people using black face to sell clothing and shoes and even in politics, we've been straight up disrespected a lot recently. As women, we have our rituals and regimens down packed to help us fend off any and all negative energy that comes our way, but what about our guys? Sharing my self-care tips with the men in my life helps me to help them tackle the woes of the world as well because, I need them to survive!
2.It strengthens our bond.
I've always been super close with my dad, but over the past few years we tightened our bond over our love for healthy eating and using natural remedies to cure minor illnesses and my silly acne! For me, self-care is slathering fresh aloe vera on my face three times a week and now using his recipes for the best fresh juices. Sharing my moisturizing techniques with my husband or teaching my brothers how to pray and meditate all draw me closer to the men in my life.
3.Helping them helps me.
Who doesn't want their husband, fathers, brothers and uncles around and healthy for as long as possible? Since these are the men I live with or interact with on a daily basis, it only makes sense that helping them to be their healthiest and well cared for selves will reap benefits for me too. Who are the biggest babies when they sick? Men! But, armed with a world of knowledge on how to care for themselves, internally and externally, saves me from constantly having to be the "fixer."
Do you share your self-care and wellness tips with the men around you?
Featured image by Getty Images
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Ianthia is a freelance Bahamian writer, journalist, TV host and producer and travel and lifestyle blogger with works and features in Essence, Forbes Travel Guide and Sheen Magazine. A TV anchor turned full-time blogger, Ianthia quickly became one of The Bahamas' top influencers; even being awarded the honor at the 2017 Bahamas 40 Under 40 awards. Ianthia's MiniSkirts and Microphones website (www.ianthia-smith.com) is a travel and lifestyle blog for busy millennial women looking for advice and inspiration on how to transition from 9 to 5 to fulltime girl boss while being a woman in the age of social media.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Crystal Renay Is Prioritizing Healing, Her Kids, And Her Coins Amid Divorce
Crystal Renay is reclaiming her time and her identity after dealing with heartbreak. The model was married to Ne-Yo for seven years and they share three young children together. However, after a cheating scandal that resulted in a baby outside of their relationship, Crystal decided to end her marriage to the “So Sick” singer. Now, she is focusing on her bag and her kids. She is co-owner of Johnny’s Chicken and Waffles, launching a lip kit line, and is back on TV starring in the new WE TV reality series Bold & Bougie.
But it wasn’t an easy road, especially with reality TV. From the beginning, Crystal and her castmates bumped heads due to misconceptions and alliances with her ex-husband’s former partner, Monyetta Shaw. However, the mother of three exclusively tells xoNecole that she doesn’t regret her decision to join the show.
Crystal Renay
Photo courtesy
“Honestly, being in that space, we had a– you know, when you're first getting to know people, sometimes it can be smooth, and sometimes it can be rocky,” she says. “In our case, it was a little bit rocky and just getting to know each other, and I like to call it growing pains. And I felt like we had a couple of moments, but all in all, like the experience was really good for me, and I would do it over again.”
Crystal describes herself as “career-oriented” and says she is in her selfish season because she is now prioritizing herself first. But she admits that she is still healing from her divorce. The reality TV star shares some tips for others who may be going through the same thing.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation,” she says. “But we can't move off of emotion because 10 times out of 10, a few months later, you're not going to feel like that. So, I'm a firm believer in not doing things that I will regret later. So I would just say be patient with yourself and stay positive.”
While there may be an opportunity to find love again, that’s not Crystal’s focus at the moment. She is in the rebuilding phase of her life, emphasizing the importance of self-care, personal growth, and finding her own happiness. She has had her share of challenges, including dealing with negative emotions and the public's perception of her, but her priorities involve spending quality time with her children and running lucrative businesses.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation.”
“With my kids, I'm very hands-on. I’m team mother with soccer kids, and they don't really make no goals because they like five years old, but I'm there cheering them on every week,” she jokes. “I want to travel, especially this summer, with my kids and take them somewhere internationally because they're at the age where they can handle a long flight. So, me just spending more time and more new experiences with my kids is my main focus with them and showing them all the love that I could possibly give them.”
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Photo courtesy of Crystal Renay