Kyrie Irving's Heartfelt Apology To Ex Kehlani Is The Best Thing You'll Read All Day
Many times, at the end of a relationship, all we're left with is tears and memories. A break-up doesn't necessarily constitute as the death of the bond between two people, so often, one or both partners are left to grieve what once was, and that grief manifests as an open wound.
Emotional wounds are much like physical wounds, but aren't seen that way by most people. Imagine someone you love came up and stabbed you in your arm, and in an angry fit, you stabbed them back. "I'm sorry" will never be enough to instantaneously heal the pain that you caused for one another, but with time, your body will rebuild and you will heal. Yet, after a break-up, your loved ones encourage you to "move on" and "let go" in their time and not your own, symbolically sprinkling salt into this open wound that won't seem to heal.
We often don't get the closure we need and have to find the strength to rehabilitate despite this fact. But ever so often, we luck up and get the answers that we need that will catalyze our recovery.
Recently, famed basketball player, Kyrie Irving posted on Instagram to take accountability and apologize for the wounds that he caused in one famous singer's life that nearly led her to commit suicide. He posted on Instagram:
"@kehlani I'm sorry, i know this is long over due. I have to speak on this simply because I owe it to you and you deserve the world to see you for you and how beautiful you are inside and out, and not for the attachment to an emotional moment in time where we both had to grow up and learn about our hearts and our souls in a world that judges and adds on fictitious pressure, SN: And also add that we are public figures now on this social media monster of a platform. I do not want anymore negative energy towards her in any way."
Related: Kehlani Reminds Us That Sometimes You Have to Fall Before You Fly
Kyrie Irving finally set the record straight about the untrue rumors of infidelity, which prompted a number of online trolls to attack his former girlfriend and songstress, Kehlani, with hateful messages that led to Kehlani's attempted suicide and hospitalization in 2016. She captioned in a since deleted Instagram post:
"I wanted to leave this Earth. Being completely selfish for once. Never thought I'd get to such a low point."
Later, she toldThe Cruz Showthat despite her heartbreaking experience, she was a survivor. Not a victim. She said:
"I wasn't a victim, you know what I mean. I'm never a victim, I refuse to be a victim—I'm not. It was really recovering from so many things at once…on the flip side, there's not too much that can hurt me now."
Shortly after Kehlani's hospitalization, Irving did send out a series of tweets that confirmed that Kehlani had not cheated, but still after two years, Kehlani is still bearing the weight of the untrue narrative.
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The 26-year-old athlete posted on Instagram last night to clear up the matter once and for all.
Kyrie apologized publicly for not doing more to clear her name, and condemned his so-called "fans" that relentlessly come for Kehlani with no merit. He posted:
"She did not cheat or intentionally hurt me, she actually did something extremely noble & respectful, but the fact that it's still a lingering narrative is really outdated at this point and as I'm hearing about what people are doing to try and intentionally hurt her on my behalf is bullshit. The lack of understanding of what we went through has bred a lot of unwarranted things happening and I want my supporters to really let her be the great soul I know she is whole heartedly. I'm hearing people are showing up to shows and being disruptive while she performs and when it starts affecting real life progress, the shit has to stop."
He continued on to say that he has a responsibility as a friend and a leader to assume accountability for how his silence has affected the life of a woman that he was once very close to. He finished the post with some hashtags that confirmed that they're not together, and still best friends.
"I am responsible as a leader to guide the young males who follow me in a positive way, & this is long overdue. We only try our hardest to be great humans and the fact that I can love her for how beautiful she is a privilege in its own right, I'm grateful. I want to see her and all individuals be who they truthfully are, unapologetically. #WeAreNotDating #Besties #BeenBesties #NeverStoppedNeverWell"
Kehlani, who says that she has since healed from the traumatic experience, replied in a comment that thanked him for his honesty and affirmed that their love for each other would be forever, even if not romantically.
The exchange between the former lovers was refreshing to see because it reassures me that closure isn't unrealistic, even if it doesn't come exactly when I want it to. The tears and memories that I've acquired from my former lovers left open wounds that will heal with or without their accountability, but Kehlani and Kyrie prove that time can heal all things.
Featured image via Kyrie Irving/Instagram
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images